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Old 12-07-2012, 06:15 AM   #26
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:16 AM   #27
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:27 AM   #28
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A Nickelback song. Any Nickelback song.
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:51 AM   #29
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*Loud crash coming from someplace in in the apartment*
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:07 AM   #30
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A Nickelback song. Any Nickelback song.
Amen.


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Old 12-07-2012, 08:59 AM   #31
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Mommy! Are you making me a baby brother?

Or some variation there of.
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:34 AM   #32
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My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear


In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:01 AM   #33
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:03 AM   #34
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:20 AM   #35
oggbashan
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1. The fire alarm.

2. The baby alarm.

3. The burglar/intruder alarm

4. Knocking on the door. 'Open up! This is the Police!'.

5. Rats running across the floor.

6. Flood siren/Tsunami Warning.

7. "Daddy? Can I have a drink?"

8. The front door opening.

9. Your adult children using their key to arrive for an unexpected visit.

10. The vicar paying his annual courtesy visit...
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:22 AM   #36
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Here comes the dist of death!
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:26 AM   #37
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"Hey look! I found a quarter!"

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"

"Don't worry! I'm sure it will grow back!"

"Hey wait, you're not Lou."

"Wow! So that's what umami tastes like!"

"I haven't been this wasted since the last time I got pregnant."

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Old 12-07-2012, 10:27 AM   #38
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:41 AM   #39
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:59 AM   #40
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I think we might be related.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:02 AM   #41
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I think we might be related.
After family research on Ancestry, it is quite likely that my wife and I ARE related, but we have to go back several hundred years to establish the link.

That wouldn't work in the Incest category. If we are related, there are a couple of thousand other living people who share that part of our ancestry.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:06 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oggbashan View Post
After family research on Ancestry, it is quite likely that my wife and I ARE related, but we have to go back several hundred years to establish the link.

That wouldn't work in the Incest category. If we are related, there are a couple of thousand other living people who share that part of our ancestry.
I was afraid to date anyone in my hometown. Hell, the surrounding three counties! There are Mormon polygamists in my family tree, and Wyoming ain't all that populous.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:07 AM   #43
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"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
I'd get a fit of the giggles if he said this while whipping out his willy!

Last edited by McKenna : 12-07-2012 at 11:13 AM. Reason: I prefer alliteration, when possible.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:09 AM   #44
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My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear


In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:11 AM   #45
oggbashan
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Quote:
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I was afraid to date anyone in my hometown. Hell, the surrounding three counties! There are Mormon polygamists in my family tree, and Wyoming ain't all that populous.
I'm stuck on part of my Ancestry in the 17th Century. One man with a distinctive and easily traced surname married the eldest daughter of a John Smith. His father? His grandfather? Both were John Smith. But which John Smith? There are at least ten baptisms of John Smiths in the local parish register in probable years and all their fathers were called John...

But there is the other side of the coin. A woman with my real (and rare) surname was one of the few survivors of a shipwreck on the Dutch coast in the 17th Century. Her husband died in the wreck. She married a local man who took her name to distinguish them from the other villagers who only had three surnames between them. Her 21st Century male descendants, still in the village that has become a town, still have that surname which is unknown elsewhere in Holland.
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Last edited by oggbashan : 12-07-2012 at 11:15 AM.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:13 AM   #46
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"Eighteen?" Giggle "Who said I was eighteen?"

Also the above phrase followed with the ratchet sound of a pump shotgun being worked.
This should be a story. Wait, it's against the rules as it should be.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:15 AM   #47
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"You wouldn't mind if I told you this is being taped, right?"
CNN live. Wolf Blitzer projects orgasm in five, four, three, two. Ladies an gentleman where ready to call it 12:31 a woman was pleasured dayton ohio.

Last edited by loquere : 12-07-2012 at 12:17 PM.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:16 AM   #48
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:00 PM   #49
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:16 PM   #50
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