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Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

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01-29-2013, 11:23 PM

#426

iluvitall

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Quote:

Originally Posted by lovecraft68

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Its called a Saint Andrews Cross.

Now that's funny!

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01-30-2013, 09:08 AM	#427
LaRascasse Literotica Guru LaRascasse is offline Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: World of Midnight and Broken Dreams Posts: 770	"Oh it's you!" __________________ My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. -Albert Camus

01-30-2013, 11:38 AM	#428
TxRad Dirty Old Man TxRad is offline Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 25,164	My Mother told me you were a bum fuck but I had to find out for myself. __________________ New Story: Deer Island 4/24/13 Incest New Story: The B-Girl Bandits 4/14/13 Erotic Coupling Earth Day Contest story: The Devil and an Angel 3/30/13 Romance Why yes, I am a dirty old man. Thanks for asking. All Stories By TxRad

01-30-2013, 11:40 AM	#429
Nick0311 NBF NWE Nick0311 is offline Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 6,003	Oops... __________________ Check out my threads; http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=774901 http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=809239

01-30-2013, 11:54 AM	#430
Handley_Page Terminally Innocent. Handley_Page is offline Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Posts: 24,720	Your Ex was quite right, you know. You do know fuck-all about it. __________________ . If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Handley Page "Incident at Cemetery Junction" "Pest Control" "Mavis's Car Trip" "Norman-the-dragon " "Stacy & the Angel " " Earth Tremor on Stage ? " http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259

01-30-2013, 12:43 PM	#431
GinaeEvans Literotica Guru GinaeEvans is offline Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: It varies throughout the day. Posts: 678	"Where's my gum?" __________________ I don't cyber, guys. I'm here to write and socialize. Sorry. I don't dislike you. I nothing you. I am a cunning linguist. "Will you step into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly.

01-30-2013, 05:08 PM	#432
luvthedesserts Shifting Sand luvthedesserts is offline Join Date: May 2012 Location: Where the voices tell me Posts: 3,287	That’s it baby. That’s it. Right there. God, I wish I had a pussy. __________________ Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will. The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot. Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar. My Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions

01-30-2013, 06:47 PM	#433
luvthedesserts Shifting Sand luvthedesserts is offline Join Date: May 2012 Location: Where the voices tell me Posts: 3,287	Hmm, that was overrated Please make a minute. Please make a minute. I'm gonna make a minute. I'm gonna...damn. Sorry. __________________ Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will. The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot. Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar. My Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions Last edited by luvthedesserts : 01-30-2013 at 07:45 PM.

01-30-2013, 06:49 PM	#434
Taylormargaret Virgin Taylormargaret is offline Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: South Carolina Posts: 8	What's that horrible smell? __________________ Curiosity often Leads to Trouble. <3

Old

01-30-2013, 07:07 PM

#435

luvthedesserts

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylormargaret

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What's that horrible smell?

Chili cheese fries or asparagus. I can't remember. The utility company shut off the water last week. Just plug your nose and get to work.

__________________
Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will.

The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot.

Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar.

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01-30-2013, 09:51 PM	#436
NekoParks Able to Multiple Sarcasm NekoParks is offline Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: In a crossfire hurricane Posts: 1,900	Is that the basement flooding? __________________ “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”--Albert Schweitzer “Into the same river you could not step twice, for other waters are flowing.”— Heraclitus “The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards.” — Arthur Koestler “Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes.” —Thomas W. Higginson “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” — Ed Foreman

01-30-2013, 09:53 PM	#437
NekoParks Able to Multiple Sarcasm NekoParks is offline Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: In a crossfire hurricane Posts: 1,900	Umm. . . well maybe the numbness will pass. Did you try to walk it off? __________________ “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”--Albert Schweitzer “Into the same river you could not step twice, for other waters are flowing.”— Heraclitus “The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards.” — Arthur Koestler “Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes.” —Thomas W. Higginson “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” — Ed Foreman

01-30-2013, 10:01 PM	#438
Ironiclaconic Really Experienced Ironiclaconic is offline Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: United States Posts: 290	"Surrender, Dorothy"

01-31-2013, 12:17 AM	#439
BuckyDuckman Literotica Guru BuckyDuckman is offline Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: USA Posts: 863	According to my doctor, the oozing is normal for the first three weeks. __________________ My Stories One year ago, I posted this incest story: Blackmailing my Cheerleader Sister. It was my second stab at an incest tale. I wrote it as part my Survivor Contest entry. Last year's rules were against sequels, so I left the story alone and moved to other works. Nearly one year later, I have revisited that story. The story is complete, all chapters have been submitted and are coming online at a rate of one per day. There's a total of six chapters and the first five are available now. Blackmailing my Cheerleader Sister, Ch. 01 - The original tale. Blackmailing my Cheerleader Sister, Ch. 02 Blackmailing my Cheerleader Sister, Ch. 03 Blackmailing my Cheerleader Sister, Ch. 04 Blackmailing my Cheerleader Sister, Ch. 05

01-31-2013, 12:38 AM	#440
NekoParks Able to Multiple Sarcasm NekoParks is offline Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: In a crossfire hurricane Posts: 1,900	Why are your sheets crunchy? __________________ “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”--Albert Schweitzer “Into the same river you could not step twice, for other waters are flowing.”— Heraclitus “The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards.” — Arthur Koestler “Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes.” —Thomas W. Higginson “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” — Ed Foreman

01-31-2013, 12:50 AM	#441
luvthedesserts Shifting Sand luvthedesserts is offline Join Date: May 2012 Location: Where the voices tell me Posts: 3,287	Oh shit. I forgot my husband was getting out of prison today. I know I forgot to get something at the grocery store. This is going to drive me crazy until i figure it out. __________________ Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will. The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot. Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar. My Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions

01-31-2013, 07:15 PM	#442
NekoParks Able to Multiple Sarcasm NekoParks is offline Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: In a crossfire hurricane Posts: 1,900	Snoring is a real buzz kill. __________________ “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”--Albert Schweitzer “Into the same river you could not step twice, for other waters are flowing.”— Heraclitus “The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards.” — Arthur Koestler “Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes.” —Thomas W. Higginson “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” — Ed Foreman

01-31-2013, 07:18 PM	#443
luvthedesserts Shifting Sand luvthedesserts is offline Join Date: May 2012 Location: Where the voices tell me Posts: 3,287	Damn, I forgot to wash off the ball gag after it fell in the toilet. Roxy, No. No Roxy. Don't swallow the key. __________________ Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will. The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot. Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar. My Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions

01-31-2013, 07:20 PM	#444
NekoParks Able to Multiple Sarcasm NekoParks is offline Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: In a crossfire hurricane Posts: 1,900	Damn. You just kicked the dog off the bed again. __________________ “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”--Albert Schweitzer “Into the same river you could not step twice, for other waters are flowing.”— Heraclitus “The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards.” — Arthur Koestler “Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes.” —Thomas W. Higginson “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” — Ed Foreman

01-31-2013, 07:22 PM	#445
luvthedesserts Shifting Sand luvthedesserts is offline Join Date: May 2012 Location: Where the voices tell me Posts: 3,287	You neutered the dog, right? __________________ Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will. The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot. Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar. My Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions

02-01-2013, 12:44 AM	#446
loquere eric.holder@usdoj.gov loquere is offline Join Date: May 2011 Location: Compassionate America Posts: 5,492	It's not me it's you __________________ http://www.literotica.com/s/risky-business-3

02-01-2013, 12:44 AM	#447
loquere eric.holder@usdoj.gov loquere is offline Join Date: May 2011 Location: Compassionate America Posts: 5,492	Tag your it __________________ http://www.literotica.com/s/risky-business-3

02-01-2013, 12:45 AM	#448
loquere eric.holder@usdoj.gov loquere is offline Join Date: May 2011 Location: Compassionate America Posts: 5,492	I lied __________________ http://www.literotica.com/s/risky-business-3

02-01-2013, 12:46 AM	#449
loquere eric.holder@usdoj.gov loquere is offline Join Date: May 2011 Location: Compassionate America Posts: 5,492	I should have stayed in prison __________________ http://www.literotica.com/s/risky-business-3

02-01-2013, 12:46 AM	#450
loquere eric.holder@usdoj.gov loquere is offline Join Date: May 2011 Location: Compassionate America Posts: 5,492	Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! __________________ http://www.literotica.com/s/risky-business-3

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