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12-02-2012, 07:43 PM
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#1
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Really Really Experienced
Kim_Burly is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 446
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Thoughts about objectification and such
So Kimmy here, I was feeling all lonely and introspective and I just finished a pitcher of Strawberry Daquaris and I'm pondering; why do I enjoy being used and objectified? Why do I so strongly need to be used by my Dom solely as an object for his sexual gratification? Why do I relish being humiliated? Why do I goad him into throat fucking me until I vomit and then carry on? Why do I drink his urine and clean him after he has been in my bottom? Why do I enjoy being caned? What is wrong with me? Why can't I find happiness in a normal relationship?
I had a fairly normal childhood, my parents aren't perfect, but they tried really hard. I don't have low self esteem, if I did I might still be married?
Sorry to PUI, blame spelling and grammar errors on Captain Morgan! 
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12-02-2012, 08:35 PM
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#2
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Quacked Up and Quazy
Prince Albert is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Skating across Dante's 9th ring!!
Posts: 16,920
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim_Burly
So Kimmy here, I was feeling all lonely and introspective and I just finished a pitcher of Strawberry Daquaris and I'm pondering; why do I enjoy being used and objectified? Why do I so strongly need to be used by my Dom solely as an object for his sexual gratification? Why do I relish being humiliated? Why do I goad him into throat fucking me until I vomit and then carry on? Why do I drink his urine and clean him after he has been in my bottom? Why do I enjoy being caned? What is wrong with me? Why can't I find happiness in a normal relationship?
I had a fairly normal childhood, my parents aren't perfect, but they tried really hard. I don't have low self esteem, if I did I might still be married?
Sorry to PUI, blame spelling and grammar errors on Captain Morgan! 
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How much time do you have? Put your feet up on the couch & start to unwind. there is NOTHING WRONG, with you.Some people like "not being in control" as it frees them. that is what you seem to be saying, in part. You life may have been structured & now you are rebelling against it. It is not easy to pinpoint the "WHY"; the bigger question is does it make you feel good or bad when you think about these things.
__________________
"Heaven STILL doesn't want me & Hell is STILL afraid I'm going to take over". 
"Though gravely wounded, I endeavor to persevere."
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12-02-2012, 08:58 PM
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#3
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Meticulously Flighty
CutieMouse is offline
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,492
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Where did you get the idea that choosing those activities as a path to intimacy means something's "wrong" with you?
We all find our own paths to intimacy... some paths are just a bit more creative [complicated; alternative; curious] than others.
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12-03-2012, 05:07 AM
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#4
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Really Really Experienced
Kim_Burly is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 446
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Sorry about posting under the influence. My pounding head and queasy stomach are my punishment. it's going to be a very long day. I was just feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for the kind replies and PMs. I'll try not to get behind the keyboard again after I've been drinking.
Kim 
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12-03-2012, 10:52 AM
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#5
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Literotica Guru
Ahlam is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The damp corner
Posts: 605
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Strawberry Daquiris are pretty tasty.  I hope you are feeling better now.
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11-16-2013, 05:49 PM
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#6
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Really Experienced
Emergingwoman is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Mountain time
Posts: 248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim_Burly
So Kimmy here, I was feeling all lonely and introspective and I just finished a pitcher of Strawberry Daquaris and I'm pondering; why do I enjoy being used and objectified? Why do I so strongly need to be used by my Dom solely as an object for his sexual gratification? Why do I relish being humiliated? Why do I goad him into throat fucking me until I vomit and then carry on? Why do I drink his urine and clean him after he has been in my bottom? Why do I enjoy being caned? What is wrong with me? Why can't I find happiness in a normal relationship?
I had a fairly normal childhood, my parents aren't perfect, but they tried really hard. I don't have low self esteem, if I did I might still be married?
Sorry to PUI, blame spelling and grammar errors on Captain Morgan! 
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You and I are not alone in experiencing thy guilt-alcohol heels me
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11-16-2013, 07:35 PM
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#7
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No Gentleman
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: What would Oscar Wilde wear?
Posts: 39,699
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Can you imagine how shitty you would feel if you were not allowed these outlets? 
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11-16-2013, 09:27 PM
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#8
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Literotica Guru
LucyH is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 553
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This idea that you have to have had some kind of twisted upbringing and psychological damage to enjoy BDSM...
Take it outside and shoot it.
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11-16-2013, 09:38 PM
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#9
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Literotica Guru
desertslave is offline
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,489
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega
Can you imagine how shitty you would feel if you were not allowed these outlets? 
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^^^^^This^^^^^
I have a lot of the same "buttons" you have, Kim, or at least many of the same circuitry. I remember being turned on as a captive while playing cowboys & indians in the back yard when I was 6! It's just something I need. We're both blessed to have people in our lives who understand us and whose needs complement ours.
I tried vanilla. It was a disaster. Having a happy, successful relationship is way better than trying to be "normal" (whatever that means), to me. Don't look so closely at it, just enjoy it for what it is. 
__________________
~~I meant to behave, but there were too many other options.~~
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11-16-2013, 09:51 PM
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#10
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Literotica Guru
LucyH is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 553
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Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if something that most people consider odd was the normal way to have sex.
Like, OMG! My husband wants to have sex naked, without fox costumes! Not even ears and tails. I can't believe he's springing this on me after 10 years of marriage.
Would we all either convince ourselves that we liked dressing up in furry fox suits to have sex, or feel guilty/ashamed admitting that mostly the fun fur just makes us overheat and get itchy?
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11-16-2013, 11:16 PM
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#11
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mmmm rope...
knot_sweet is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: between here and there.
Posts: 1,210
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Do your activities make you feel better or worse about yourself?
If you're happier and healthier and doing better than you were before you started on the great and wonderful adventure that is BDSM, then whatever it is, is what you need to be your best self.
No matter how much other people might sometimes try to tell you different (although every now and then, concern will still happen even among the most open minded of us).
__________________
Bwahahaha NO! - me
The follow you just received is a direct result of the lead you just gave. - my dance teacher (and true for both BDSM and ballroom)
Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport. Ballroom is a contact sport. - I don't remember who said this.
What's life without whimsy? - Sheldon Cooper
Oh! The Places You'll Go - Dr Seuess
'panem et circenses'
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11-17-2013, 05:11 PM
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#12
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Really Really Experienced
Kim_Burly is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 446
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Wow, what a blast from the past! I have been dry and sober for nearly a year now. I still have my issues and demons, but I don't hate myself anymore  .
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11-17-2013, 08:50 PM
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#13
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Literotica Guru
eroticspank is offline
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Western US
Posts: 2,173
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Nice
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim_Burly
Wow, what a blast from the past! I have been dry and sober for nearly a year now. I still have my issues and demons, but I don't hate myself anymore  .
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I guess you started this thread last year, I see what you mean by blast from the past. I am glad you are doing well. We all have issues and demons to a certain extent.
I do like your idea of asking why questions, IF you ask positive questions and answer them honestly, you will find out a lot about yourself. At least that has worked well for me.
Example: "Why do I enjoy being caned?" is a good question. But "What is wrong with me?"is not a good one. Etc
My 2 cents
ES
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11-19-2013, 12:11 PM
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#14
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Really Experienced
hornysubslut is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: anywhere my master tells me too
Posts: 132
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Kim you are not alone, so do I 
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11-20-2013, 12:41 AM
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#15
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Experienced
Ruby_Atom is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 55
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From the opposite end of the spectrum, I more or less knew my desires as I was growing up, though as a kid, I did not connect it with sex (there were lots of master and slave dinosaurs in my toy set). However, I just assumed that it was normal and that everyone was like that. One of my first boyfriends mentioned an interest in BDSM, which was the first time a name was put to the desires that I had. Again, this cemented my feeling that it was just a normal thing. I had to learn that it wasn't mainstream. 
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11-20-2013, 01:59 AM
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#16
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Literotica Guru
eroticspank is offline
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Western US
Posts: 2,173
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Good Point
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby_Atom
From the opposite end of the spectrum, I more or less knew my desires as I was growing up, though as a kid, I did not connect it with sex (there were lots of master and slave dinosaurs in my toy set). However, I just assumed that it was normal and that everyone was like that. One of my first boyfriends mentioned an interest in BDSM, which was the first time a name was put to the desires that I had. Again, this cemented my feeling that it was just a normal thing. I had to learn that it wasn't mainstream. 
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That is a GREAT point and possibly the start of another thread or discussion. I find it amazing that many of the people I talk to on here were doing BDSM as a part of sex play from the 1st day they started sex. They were innocent and having fun, myself included. It was not until later that someone gave them an "apple" they took a bite and all of a sudden got the "knowledge" of labels and how it fits into "society" morals and rules! Guilt, guilt, guilt.
ES
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11-20-2013, 03:38 PM
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#17
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Literotica Guru
Dyslexicea is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim_Burly
Wow, what a blast from the past! I have been dry and sober for nearly a year now. I still have my issues and demons, but I don't hate myself anymore  .
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Congratulation Kim! I'm so happy for you.
We all have our issues and demons but the wonderful thing about life is we don't have to fit into anyone else's script we can make it up as we go.
__________________
"If male homosexuals are called 'gay,' then female homosexuals should be called 'ecstatic!'" - Shelly Roberts
PROUDLY QUEER! HAPPILY LESBIAN!
“Some women can't say the word lesbian...even when their mouth is full of one.” - Kate Clinton
My AH Profile.
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