Thoughts about objectification and such

[Kim_Burly]

So Kimmy here, I was feeling all lonely and introspective and I just finished a pitcher of Strawberry Daquaris and I'm pondering; why do I enjoy being used and objectified? Why do I so strongly need to be used by my Dom solely as an object for his sexual gratification? Why do I relish being humiliated? Why do I goad him into throat fucking me until I vomit and then carry on? Why do I drink his urine and clean him after he has been in my bottom? Why do I enjoy being caned? What is wrong with me? Why can't I find happiness in a normal relationship?

I had a fairly normal childhood, my parents aren't perfect, but they tried really hard. I don't have low self esteem, if I did I might still be married?

Sorry to PUI, blame spelling and grammar errors on Captain Morgan!

[Prince Albert]

Originally Posted by Kim_Burly

So Kimmy here, I was feeling all lonely and introspective and I just finished a pitcher of Strawberry Daquaris and I'm pondering; why do I enjoy being used and objectified? Why do I so strongly need to be used by my Dom solely as an object for his sexual gratification? Why do I relish being humiliated? Why do I goad him into throat fucking me until I vomit and then carry on? Why do I drink his urine and clean him after he has been in my bottom? Why do I enjoy being caned? What is wrong with me? Why can't I find happiness in a normal relationship?

I had a fairly normal childhood, my parents aren't perfect, but they tried really hard. I don't have low self esteem, if I did I might still be married?

Sorry to PUI, blame spelling and grammar errors on Captain Morgan!

How much time do you have? Put your feet up on the couch & start to unwind. there is NOTHING WRONG, with you.Some people like "not being in control" as it frees them. that is what you seem to be saying, in part. You life may have been structured & now you are rebelling against it. It is not easy to pinpoint the "WHY"; the bigger question is does it make you feel good or bad when you think about these things.

[CutieMouse]

Where did you get the idea that choosing those activities as a path to intimacy means something's "wrong" with you?

We all find our own paths to intimacy... some paths are just a bit more creative [complicated; alternative; curious] than others.

[Kim_Burly]

Sorry about posting under the influence. My pounding head and queasy stomach are my punishment. it's going to be a very long day. I was just feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for the kind replies and PMs. I'll try not to get behind the keyboard again after I've been drinking.

Kim

[Ahlam]

Strawberry Daquiris are pretty tasty. I hope you are feeling better now.

[Emergingwoman]

Originally Posted by Kim_Burly

So Kimmy here, I was feeling all lonely and introspective and I just finished a pitcher of Strawberry Daquaris and I'm pondering; why do I enjoy being used and objectified? Why do I so strongly need to be used by my Dom solely as an object for his sexual gratification? Why do I relish being humiliated? Why do I goad him into throat fucking me until I vomit and then carry on? Why do I drink his urine and clean him after he has been in my bottom? Why do I enjoy being caned? What is wrong with me? Why can't I find happiness in a normal relationship?

I had a fairly normal childhood, my parents aren't perfect, but they tried really hard. I don't have low self esteem, if I did I might still be married?

Sorry to PUI, blame spelling and grammar errors on Captain Morgan!

You and I are not alone in experiencing thy guilt-alcohol heels me

[Stella_Omega]

Can you imagine how shitty you would feel if you were not allowed these outlets?

[LucyH]

This idea that you have to have had some kind of twisted upbringing and psychological damage to enjoy BDSM...

Take it outside and shoot it.

[desertslave]

Originally Posted by Stella_Omega

Can you imagine how shitty you would feel if you were not allowed these outlets?

^^^^^This^^^^^

I have a lot of the same "buttons" you have, Kim, or at least many of the same circuitry. I remember being turned on as a captive while playing cowboys & indians in the back yard when I was 6! It's just something I need. We're both blessed to have people in our lives who understand us and whose needs complement ours.

I tried vanilla. It was a disaster. Having a happy, successful relationship is way better than trying to be "normal" (whatever that means), to me. Don't look so closely at it, just enjoy it for what it is.

[LucyH]

Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if something that most people consider odd was the normal way to have sex.

Like, OMG! My husband wants to have sex naked, without fox costumes! Not even ears and tails. I can't believe he's springing this on me after 10 years of marriage.

Would we all either convince ourselves that we liked dressing up in furry fox suits to have sex, or feel guilty/ashamed admitting that mostly the fun fur just makes us overheat and get itchy?

[knot_sweet]

Do your activities make you feel better or worse about yourself?

If you're happier and healthier and doing better than you were before you started on the great and wonderful adventure that is BDSM, then whatever it is, is what you need to be your best self.

No matter how much other people might sometimes try to tell you different (although every now and then, concern will still happen even among the most open minded of us).

[Kim_Burly]

Wow, what a blast from the past! I have been dry and sober for nearly a year now. I still have my issues and demons, but I don't hate myself anymore .

[eroticspank]

Originally Posted by Kim_Burly

Wow, what a blast from the past! I have been dry and sober for nearly a year now. I still have my issues and demons, but I don't hate myself anymore .

I guess you started this thread last year, I see what you mean by blast from the past. I am glad you are doing well. We all have issues and demons to a certain extent.

I do like your idea of asking why questions, IF you ask positive questions and answer them honestly, you will find out a lot about yourself. At least that has worked well for me.

Example: "Why do I enjoy being caned?" is a good question. But "What is wrong with me?"is not a good one. Etc

My 2 cents

ES

[hornysubslut]

Kim you are not alone, so do I

[Ruby_Atom]

From the opposite end of the spectrum, I more or less knew my desires as I was growing up, though as a kid, I did not connect it with sex (there were lots of master and slave dinosaurs in my toy set). However, I just assumed that it was normal and that everyone was like that. One of my first boyfriends mentioned an interest in BDSM, which was the first time a name was put to the desires that I had. Again, this cemented my feeling that it was just a normal thing. I had to learn that it wasn't mainstream.

[eroticspank]

Originally Posted by Ruby_Atom

From the opposite end of the spectrum, I more or less knew my desires as I was growing up, though as a kid, I did not connect it with sex (there were lots of master and slave dinosaurs in my toy set). However, I just assumed that it was normal and that everyone was like that. One of my first boyfriends mentioned an interest in BDSM, which was the first time a name was put to the desires that I had. Again, this cemented my feeling that it was just a normal thing. I had to learn that it wasn't mainstream.

That is a GREAT point and possibly the start of another thread or discussion. I find it amazing that many of the people I talk to on here were doing BDSM as a part of sex play from the 1st day they started sex. They were innocent and having fun, myself included. It was not until later that someone gave them an "apple" they took a bite and all of a sudden got the "knowledge" of labels and how it fits into "society" morals and rules! Guilt, guilt, guilt.

ES

[Dyslexicea]

Originally Posted by Kim_Burly

Wow, what a blast from the past! I have been dry and sober for nearly a year now. I still have my issues and demons, but I don't hate myself anymore .

Congratulation Kim! I'm so happy for you.

We all have our issues and demons but the wonderful thing about life is we don't have to fit into anyone else's script we can make it up as we go.