Where's Twelve Oh?

[HarryHill]

I remember someone saying something about 1201 walking the beaches of Jersey. Is he okay?
............................................5ed if you can find all the 1201's.....Harry
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[bogusagain]

I've been coming and going on Lit for the best part of eight years and noticed 1201 comes and goes like the tide. I'm sure I've said goodbye to him a few times expecting him not to return but he eventually has.

[PandoraGlitters]

Very few people leave never to return. This place is odd that way.

[darkmaas]

A bit like the Hotel California. Which reminds me ... I saw the Fool posting on another thread and I know it's been a while, but I never forget hose round it is. Come on Foolius.

Belly up and make mine a double.

[HarryHill]

A friend (I hope) gave me a tip to read one of Twelve Oh's poems 'illusion' I think it was; he must have been in a strange place when he wrote that. Here's hoping they both return.
Pouring you a D/shot of my private reserve from under the desk. Cheers

[bogusagain]

Originally Posted by HarryHill

A friend (I hope) gave me a tip to read one of Twelve Oh's poems 'illusion' I think it was; he must have been in a strange place when he wrote that. Here's hoping they both return.
Pouring you a D/shot of my private reserve from under the desk. Cheers

1201's always in a strange place, that's what's so interesting about his poetry. It's a pity he's deleted my favourite work of his.

[twelveoone]

Originally Posted by HarryHill

I remember someone saying something about 1201 walking the beaches of Jersey. Is he okay?

Originally Posted by bogusagain

I've been coming and going on Lit for the best part of eight years and noticed 1201 comes and goes like the tide.

what is this, some kind of a joke?

Originally Posted by bogusagain

1201's always in a strange place, that's what's so interesting about his poetry. It's a pity he's deleted my favourite work of his.

waterlogged

pray tell, what would that heave been?

the one about ahab and the mermaid?

As for 'llusions Harry, was written after reading about Timothy Leary's last trip, having his remains blasted off into space. I thought "what an asshole, he can't just stay and rot like the rest of us?"


hmmm, I wonders if the anon (s?) missed me?

[HarryHill]

Good to see you again. Having pun with us already....as to Timothy Leary's last trip (and here several responses come to mind; the first being 'Far out man.') I'm sure he thought it was a good idea at the time.
Write any poetry whilw you were gone?

[twelveoone]

Originally Posted by HarryHill

Good to see you again. Having pun with us already....as to Timothy Leary's last trip (and here several responses come to mind; the first being 'Far out man.') I'm sure he thought it was a good idea at the time.
Write any poetry whilw you were gone?

2 things
1 i can't format
1 i can't title, which nobody would understand anyway

[Desejo]

1201 appears just as I am about to disappear to lands with no Lit access for an unreasonable amount of time. I want to assure those of you tracking such matters that he is not me and I am not he (er. Grammar - is it I am not he and he is not me? He is not I and I am not Him? Someone must know for sure, but I don't!).

Welcome back Midnight+
.

[twelveoone]

Originally Posted by Desejo

1201 appears just as I am about to disappear to lands with no Lit access for an unreasonable amount of time. I want to assure those of you tracking such matters that he is not me and I am not he (er. Grammar - is it I am not he and he is not me? He is not I and I am not Him? Someone must know for sure, but I don't!).

Welcome back Midnight+
.

they would have to be an idiot to confuse you with the likes of me

but for the record i am not me either

I is the other

...I am about to disappear to lands with no Lit access for an unreasonable amount of time.

a. ) most of china?
b.) mecca?
c.) cape may, nj?

[Desejo]

None of the above.
I just checked to see if Lit has a list of places where it is blocked. It doesn't.
I think it varies according to the moods of rulers, religious leaders and internet providers too. I'll be in Thailand.

[twelveoone]

Originally Posted by Desejo

None of the above.
I just checked to see if Lit has a list of places where it is blocked. It doesn't.
I think it varies according to the moods of rulers, religious leaders and internet providers too. I'll be in Thailand.

i'm surprised England has it
them being literary and all that

[champagne1982]

Originally Posted by Desejo

1201 appears just as I am about to disappear to lands with no Lit access for an unreasonable amount of time. I want to assure those of you tracking such matters that he is not me and I am not he (er. Grammar - is it I am not he and he is not me? He is not I and I am not Him? Someone must know for sure, but I don't!).

Welcome back Midnight+
.

He is not me and I am not him... Objective case - "Me" is the object of "he" the subject, and him is the object of I the subject.

And welcome back twelvio.

[Desejo]

Originally Posted by champagne1982

He is not me and I am not him... Objective case - "Me" is the object of "he" the subject, and him is the object of I the subject.

And welcome back twelvio.

Yes. That makes sense. My brain is fried right now. Thanks!

[butters]

a twelve sighting!

[twelveoone]

Originally Posted by chipbutty

a twelve sighting!

hey a chip, champ and des sighting

much, much, better on the eyes than a 12

[butters]

Originally Posted by twelveoone

hey a chip, champ and des sighting

much, much, better on the eyes than a 12

eye of the beholder and all that

you always add spice to the blend here

[HarryHill]

Originally Posted by twelveoone

2 things
1 i can't format
1 i can't title, which nobody would understand anyway

..
I've got a special on titles this week, get the first one free. Try this one.
"Bullfrogs Lament"

[HarryHill]

Originally Posted by HarryHill

..
I've got a special on titles this week, get the first one free. Try this one.
"Bullfrogs Lament"

..
Guess he did not like that one; to tell the truth, I tried to write one today using that title but got stuck after a coupla lines...
..
Twelve oh is my hero
He knows such useful shit
Can tell all sorts of ways
To make your poem a hit
But when he hits too close to home
That's when you hear 'em bitch
As for me I want to know
Everything that's wrong with it.............

[twelveoone]

Originally Posted by HarryHill

..
Guess he did not like that one; to tell the truth, I tried to write one today using that title but got stuck after a coupla lines...
..
Twelve oh is my hero
He knows such useful shit
Can tell all sorts of ways
To make your poem a hit
But when he hits too close to home
That's when you hear 'em bitch
As for me I want to know
Everything that's wrong with it.............

have no heros
question everything.
but I wanted to talk to you also
your poem (with the snake thing in it)
has 4 discrete blocks, but does quite tell a story or have a root. At least two options, rearrange the blocks, throw one of two out and rewrite some others. For starters take the first block (first two lines) put them last, move the snake two in the front, leave the other two blocks out, is there a story the fits in between.
the other, there is a persian form, ghazal? check out the organizing principle behind that.


as for this
He knows such useful shit

the main ones are Read, Edit, and it's Work, at least 20 people here have said that, I just stick it in Caps.

[HarryHill]

"...A ghazal is composed of couplets, five or more. The couplets may have nothing to do with one another, except for the formal unity derived from a strict rhyme and rhythm pattern..." (wiki) ...
..
The anglicised example in the article was rather weak in my opinion and used the same end rhyme in each end couplet. As for the themes, they sound like a country western song or a church hymn; but then, I see the name 'Rumi' and recognize that from another thread here. (assuming it's the same one without reading further) OOps, mistake #1 READ
..
So... let's throw the snake thing on the page, seperate the coils, cut off it's head and forget that it was written as a Spenserian stanza.
..
One fears losing their voice in modern times
Then struggles to find how to speak again

Chase serpent coiled vines of elusive rhymes
Winding tightly all 'round cowled words of man

Search they to find gems lost in grains of sand
Hidden glinting treasure for those that sift

Rich fruit awaits within slowly teased strands
Perhaps this search will find age old sweet gifts

Success granted reward that falls soft from the lips
..
Your suggestion follows ................................
..
Chase serpent coiled vines of elusive rhymes
Winding tightly all 'round cowled words of man

Rich fruit awaits within slowly teased strands
Perhaps this (hunt) will find age old sweet gifts

(The) fears (of) losing voice in modern times
(Leads to the depths of oft seldom used mines

Search (there) to find gems lost in grains of sand
Hidden glinting treasure for those that sift
.............
(no cliched alexandrine)
..
So?
P.S. thanks

[darkmaas]

Originally Posted by HarryHill

"...A ghazal is composed of couplets, five or more. The couplets may have nothing to do with one another, except for the formal unity derived from a strict rhyme and rhythm pattern..." (wiki) ...
..
The anglicised example in the article was rather weak in my opinion and used the same end rhyme in each end couplet. As for the themes, they sound like a country western song or a church hymn; but then, I see the name 'Rumi' and recognize that from another thread here. (assuming it's the same one without reading further) OOps, mistake #1 READ
..
So... let's throw the snake thing on the page, seperate the coils, cut off it's head and forget that it was written as a Spenserian stanza.
..
One fears losing their voice in modern times
Then struggles to find how to speak again

Chase serpent coiled vines of elusive rhymes
Winding tightly all 'round cowled words of man

Search they to find gems lost in grains of sand
Hidden glinting treasure for those that sift

Rich fruit awaits within slowly teased strands
Perhaps this search will find age old sweet gifts

Success granted reward that falls soft from the lips
..
Your suggestion follows ................................
..
Chase serpent coiled vines of elusive rhymes
Winding tightly all 'round cowled words of man

Rich fruit awaits within slowly teased strands
Perhaps this (hunt) will find age old sweet gifts

(The) fears (of) losing voice in modern times
(Leads to the depths of oft seldom used mines

Search (there) to find gems lost in grains of sand
Hidden glinting treasure for those that sift
.............
(no cliched alexandrine)
..
So?
P.S. thanks

::

Sooooo. Do you see a marked improvement?

Seems to me you are spending all your effort on Form and letting Content fall where it may. I suspect that you could describe your content using prose with a lot fewer words than you've used in either version of the poem. I personally like to see a higher density of ideas in poetry than prose ... but that's just me.

Having said that, there is some nice imagery constrained (indeed contorted) by the form. Work to free it up.

::

[Angeline]

Originally Posted by darkmaas

::

Sooooo. Do you see a marked improvement?

Seems to me you are spending all your effort on Form and letting Content fall where it may. I suspect that you could describe your content using prose with a lot fewer words than you've used in either version of the poem. I personally like to see a higher density of ideas in poetry than prose ... but that's just me.

Having said that, there is some nice imagery constrained (indeed contorted) by the form. Work to free it up.

::

Excellent points, darkmaas. Content always trumps form imho, but in a ghazal it is especially important. The form is meant for poems about unrequited love: reading some of the better ghazals will quickly reveal that.

Here is an wonderful example of the form by one of Lit's best poets (and as it has been here for many years, I'm sure she won't mind my sharing it in full). Just a beautiful ghazal~

Ghazal in ¾ Time
byCordelia©

Rendering my words into songs may, from the dance
Kiss damp orange music pulled away from the dance.

We touch as though we knew the absence of roses.
Touching again, we move in disarray from the dance.

I wipe a tear from the page where you are drawing,
Stringing lines to remove the bouquet from the dance.

Though you spoke to me of afters, not of nevers,
We move through green laughter as if we’d pray from the dance.

Overwhelmed by the frost on your kiln-fired brow,
I discern the porcelain sobriquet from the dance.

Reaching into the marigolds between us, think:
How the weather takes a holiday from the dance.

Loosen your frown, unbutton your anxieties;
Let this lover remove all dismay from the dance.

[darkmaas]

For the life of me then, I don't see how a ghazal applies at all to Harry's poem.

Where indeed is 1201?