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Old 12-08-2012, 10:26 PM   #51
glynndah
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Very Easy Coconut Macaroons

1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 package shredded coconut
1 teaspoon flavoring {Most recipes call for almond extract, but since I don't like it, I use vanilla.}

Mix all ingredients together and drop by teaspoons onto cookie sheets lined with parchment paper and sprayed with cooking spray. You can skip the parchment paper, but it's so much easier to use it. Bake at 325 for about 15 minutes. Remove to wire racks to cool.

And now a little story I posted a few years ago at Thanksgiving...


KABOOM! And then the oven door blew open...
My husband is baking pumpkin pies at my mother-in-law's house this evening. He decided to use Alton Brown's pie crust recipe which calls for vodka instead of water, but "improve" it by using Everclear instead.

Ten minutes at 425 degrees and there was a great KABOOM! The oven door blew open and WHOOSH! Hot air and pretty blue and yellow flames shot out of the oven. The door hit my husband in the hip, causing the superheated gas to inflate his shirt and singe the most of the hairs off his belly. My mother-in-law, an innocent bystander, received a complimentary depilatory treatment on her wrist. (They're both fine and have a great story to tell at dinner tomorrow.)

And how's your Thanksgiving preparation coming along?
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:47 PM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glynndah View Post
KABOOM! And then the oven door blew open...
My husband is baking pumpkin pies at my mother-in-law's house this evening. He decided to use Alton Brown's pie crust recipe which calls for vodka instead of water, but "improve" it by using Everclear instead.
LOL, You wouldn't think it would have enough fume concentration to ignite like that. Gas or electric oven?
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:58 PM   #53
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LOL, You wouldn't think it would have enough fume concentration to ignite like that. Gas or electric oven?
Electric.
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Old 12-09-2012, 12:15 AM   #54
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Electric.
Even more surprising.
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Old 12-09-2012, 12:17 AM   #55
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And that's why I stay out of the kitchen, if I can avoid it!
Scary!
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Old 12-09-2012, 09:37 AM   #56
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Even more surprising.
Yes, I have a feeling they were very surprised.
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Old 12-12-2012, 08:41 PM   #57
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Since my cookie extravaganza weekend is coming up . ..

My mom's sandtarts
1 lb flour
1 lb confectioner's sugar
3 eggs
1/2 lb butter, softened


Beat the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and mix until combined. Add the flour gradually. Dough will be sort of stiff. Divide dough in half, wrap in plastic and chill overnight. (Can also be frozen at this point for later.)

Take 1/2 of dough and let sit for about 10 min. Break off a piece and roll out very thin on a floured surface. Cut into desired shapes (can use cookie cutters or you can just cut into diamonds with a knife.)

Place on cookies sheets lined with parchment paper. Decorate with colored sugar or other cookie decorations. Bake at 350 degrees for 7 - 10 min or until just starting to brown around the edges. Let cool on sheet for 2 minutes and then move to rack to cool.

Makes a whole bunch of cookies but they never last too long. Store in a tin at room temp. Best if made a few days ahead but good still warm too.
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Old 12-12-2012, 08:54 PM   #58
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Molasses Sugar Cookies
3/4 cup shortening
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp ginger
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup molasses
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt

Additional sugar for rolling cookies in

Melt shortening over the low heat. Remove from heat and let cool to room temp. Add the sugar, molasses, and the egg. Beat well. Sift together the dry ingredients. Add to the egg mixture and mix well. Chill for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. From into balls and roll in additional granulated sugar. Bake on an un-greased cookie sheet for 8 - 10 minutes.
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Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

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Old 12-12-2012, 08:59 PM   #59
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Ugly but good cookies

1 1/2 cup almonds
1 1/3 cup confectioner's sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
1 egg white
1/4 tsp almond extract
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
3 Tblsp. chopped apricots

Combine the almonds and sugar in a food processor and process until finely ground. Add the vanilla, almond extract, and the egg white. Process until mixture forms a ball. Put in a bowl and fold in the walnuts and the apricots by hand. Drop by Tblsp on a parchement lined cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 7 to 10 minutes, or until the bottoms are barely browned.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
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My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:56 AM   #60
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Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs.

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:32 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NippleMuncher View Post
Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs.

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat.

I'm no ones optional ingredient.

Like yeast to bread, the right recipe doesn't work without me. (I said yeast, not yeast infection).
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:38 AM   #62
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I'm no ones optional ingredient.

Like yeast to bread, the right recipe doesn't work without me. (I said yeast, not yeast infection).
Now wait a minute, young lady, in this case optional would mean a nice addition. You would add sublime nuances to the mix that would create a whole new tasty morsel in and of itself. If you must be your own unique recipe, so be it, I happen to think you are more than a one trick pony.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:43 AM   #63
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Now wait a minute, young lady, in this case optional would mean a nice addition. You would add sublime nuances to the mix that would create a whole new tasty morsel in and of itself. If you must be your own unique recipe, so be it, I happen to think you are more than a one trick pony.
Ohhh nice recovery. VERY nice.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:24 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by NippleMuncher View Post
Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs.

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat.
Essence of goat? You can suck goat scrote.

And Rainshine shall not be an optional ingredient in my recipe.

Take 1 part Rainshine, with her clacking claws
Take 1 part Pmann, non goaty variety
Mix together
Shake
Lord we will shake
Beat until the Pmann becomes creamy white
Let rest for 20 minutes
Repeat again and again
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:03 PM   #65
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Alright you kids. . . take it out of the kitchen or it's the wooden spoon for the lot of ya!
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Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares


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Old 12-13-2012, 03:35 PM   #66
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So I don't get in trouble and I'm not completely useless to this thread...

Coconut Cake

1 Box Butter Cake Mix
1 Container Cool Whip
2 Cups Sugar
4 Bags Fresh Frozen Coconut (3 bags for filling and 1 for topping)
16oz Sour Cream

For the cake:

Follow recipe on box. After cooling, make cake in 4 layers.

For the filling:

Mix 2 cups of sugar, 3 bags of coconut and 16oz sour cream. Fill each cake layer with this mixture.

(Note- reserve 1 cup of filling for the icing)

For the icing:

Mix cool whip with 1 cup of filling. Place icing over the entire cake.

For the topping:

Use the remaining bag of coconut to top over entire cake.

Cake is best when it is left to set overnight. The filling will moisten the cake.

So that's how the back a coconut cock. I don't like coconut, cool whip or sour cream. But this cake is fucking amazing. It is by far the most requested of my wife's desserts and she is quite the culinary artist. She swears it's easy to make. I don't know about that, because she says that about shit like soufflés and I know damned well those are hard.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:36 PM   #67
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Alright you kids. . . take it out of the kitchen or it's the wooden spoon for the lot of ya!
Oh boy! You IS kinky!!! Me likey!!
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:25 PM   #68
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Speaking of Alton Brown, this is a direct rip-off of his eggnog recipe with a couple of my own changes. Primarily, I've just upped the bourbon and added vanilla. Use an electric mixer for this - you don't need a stand mixer, just a cheap hand-held will do fine.

4 egg yolks
1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon
1 pint whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
6 ounces bourbon (I prefer Evan Williams but use whatever whiskey you like)
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 egg whites

Beat yolks and 1/3 cup sugar until creamy and light in color

Add milk, cream, bourbon, and vanilla and mix well.

Wash your mixer blades before continuing or you'll have hell getting your whites to foam properly.

Mix the egg whites till you get soft peaks. Add the 1 tablespoon sugar and continue beating till you get stiff peaks.

Slowly add the egg-white foam to the yolk/milk mixture and mix thoroghly. The foam will eventually separate so put it in a container that you can shake before serving.

Yes, this means consuming raw eggs. If you're neurotic about that then you can VERY SLOWLY bring the whole mixture up to 160 degrees F. I say very slowly because with all the protiens and sugars in this liquid, it's going to scorch very easily and you'll ruin the whole batch. That should kill off any nasties that have about a 1 in 10,000 chance to show up in your yummy, creamy, eggnogy goodness. It won't affect the taste much but your eggnog will be thicker when it cools.

A word to the wise - if you've got more than two or three people to serve, double the recipe.

You can also substitute Rum for the Bourbon but you'll be missing out on some really great flavors that the Bourbon provides.

Edit: You know, it occurs to me that lots of folks don't like Bourbon as much as I do. The original recipe calls for three ounces. Perhaps you should start with three and add more if you feel it's too light on the spirits.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:43 PM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NippleMuncher View Post
Best holiday recipe I can come up with.

1 part Saucy Minx
1 part NippleMuncher

Leave the rest to the imaginations of the Lit Society Pervs.

Optional:

Add 1 part imemkay and/or 1 part Rainshine.

Under no circumstances should pmann be used in this recipe, lest ye like essence of goat.
I have to shake my head over this one.....
I'm too frightened of Saucy's wooden spoon to say anything here.....expect a strongly worded PM!
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:00 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyman057 View Post
Yes, this means consuming raw eggs. If you're neurotic about that then you can VERY SLOWLY bring the whole mixture up to 160 degrees F. I say very slowly because with all the protiens and sugars in this liquid, it's going to scorch very easily and you'll ruin the whole batch. That should kill off any nasties that have about a 1 in 10,000 chance to show up in your yummy, creamy, eggnogy goodness. It won't affect the taste much but your eggnog will be thicker when it cools.

A word to the wise - if you've got more than two or three people to serve, double the recipe.

You can also substitute Rum for the Bourbon but you'll be missing out on some really great flavors that the Bourbon provides.

Edit: You know, it occurs to me that lots of folks don't like Bourbon as much as I do. The original recipe calls for three ounces. Perhaps you should start with three and add more if you feel it's too light on the spirits.
It seems to me that the alcohol would eliminate most of the nasties from the raw eggs. Then again, I still eat raw cookie dough and cake batter.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:29 PM   #71
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I hope to be making this sooon (jumbo brownie):

"Like all great desserts," says Anne Quatrano , "these brownies have only three pertinent flavors: chocolate, butter and walnuts." Quatrano, an F&W Best New Chef 1995, is the chef of a small empire of restaurants in Atlanta. Baking Tips from F&W Editors



Ingredients

1 pound(s) unsalted butter
1 1/2 pound(s) semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) salt
6 large eggs
2 1/2 cup(s) sugar
2 tablespoon(s) pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoon(s) strong-brewed espresso
6 ounce(s) semisweet chocolate chips, 1 cup
1 cup(s) walnut halves, lightly toasted and coarsely chopped optional


Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. Spray a 9-by-13-inch glass or ceramic baking dish with cooking spray. In a double boiler, melt the butter with the chopped chocolate over low heat. In a small bowl, whisk the flour with the baking powder and salt.
2. In a large bowl, using a handheld mixer, beat the eggs with the sugar at medium-high speed until pale and thick, 4 minutes. Beat in the vanilla and espresso. Add the flour mixture and beat until just incorporated. Beat in the melted chocolate at medium speed. Using a spoon, stir in the chocolate chips and walnuts.
3. Scrape the batter into the prepared baking dish. Bake in the center of the oven for about 1 hour, until the top is shiny and lightly cracked, the edges are set and the center is still a bit jiggly. Transfer the dish to a rack and let cool completely. Cut the brownie into 12 large rectangles and serve.
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:17 AM   #72
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Quote:
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It seems to me that the alcohol would eliminate most of the nasties from the raw eggs. Then again, I still eat raw cookie dough and cake batter.
As do I. I have no problems with raw eggs but there are those people out there that start convulsing and going into fits at the mere thought of consuming anything before someone comes along and kills it with fire.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:36 PM   #73
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update:

The Oreo balls were made and shipped.

So far, I've received two, "OMG! These are so good!" Thank you again for posting this recipe. I was good little ladybug and ate my three.

Not sure who thought it'd be a good idea to blend Oreos and cream cheese, but I sure am glad they did...these were fantastic.

The only (slight) change I made was that I added a couple of teaspoons of canola oil to my white chocolate. I found it a bit too thick to work with once it was melted and the canola oil thinned it out beautifully.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaforMe View Post
Oreo Balls

1 package Oreo Cookies
1 block cream cheese, softened
1 package Chocolate Almond Bark or Bakers Chocolate Baking Squares


Place Oreo Cookies in a baggie and smash until it is the consistency of dirt. Mix softened cream cheese into smashed cookies. Form into balls. (I like to put mine on wax paper.) Melt chocolate according to package directions in microwave. Cover balls in chocolate. Place in refrigerator.



Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:52 PM   #74
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update:

The Oreo balls were made and shipped.

So far, I've received two, "OMG! These are so good!" Thank you again for posting this recipe. I was good little ladybug and ate my three.

Not sure who thought it'd be a good idea to blend Oreos and cream cheese, but I sure am glad they did...these were fantastic.

The only (slight) change I made was that I added a couple of teaspoons of canola oil to my white chocolate. I found it a bit too thick to work with once it was melted and the canola oil thinned it out beautifully.

Yay!! I will be making these next weekend with my kids. Can't wait!
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Old 12-15-2012, 10:18 AM   #75
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For all you chocolate chip cookie lovers out there.
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