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Old 11-29-2012, 07:30 PM   #1
Daxaeha
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Aaaaannnnnddd I'm back!


Been away for awhile dealing with relationship issues, blah blah blah.

All kinds of things leading to the end of the commitment, so now I'm all single and such, and I've been thinking...

It felt safe to try exploring BDSM within a partnership because I felt comfortable with him, but the idea of trying to explore with people I'm not AS familiar with (casual dating) seems ...less safe.

I know that there are all kinds of preference differences around here so if the wonderful people of Lit that are more experienced with the casual side of BDSM could throw some words of wisdom my way that would be fantastic.
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Old 11-29-2012, 09:47 PM   #2
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For me, it's very difficult to know who's submissive and who isn't. I've made the mistake so many times, in my life, I think I've just given up trying to tell. Once I know, I can safely make my move, but until then, I'm concerned I'll get some kind of letter from a lawyer representing last night's date.

Some people you can tell, or at least you think you can, but I don't know if there is any real way to know every time. So, no matter if you're submissive looking for a dom or a dom looking for a submissive, it's not easy to tell, and if you don't watch out, you can out yourself to the wrong person. That's something I'd rather not have to deal with.

I'm sure somebody will post how they do it, and maybe you can decide how is best for you, from what other people post. And maybe I'll get some ideas, too.
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Old 11-30-2012, 12:05 PM   #3
Primalex
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Although I hate it, when BDSM and sex is mixed up, it shares enough traits that in this case, you can interchange them.

Some people prefer strangers. Some people prefer it online. Some people prefer friends with benefits. Some people enjoy swinger clubs. Some people hire professionals. Some people prefer phone sex. Some people prefer cyber sex.

It's not the activity that determines the method, but the preferences of the person - preferences in all aspects. I guess, especially cybersex did increase in popularity, not because it's the closest to real sex, but because it's the safest way to get off next to masturbation all alone.

So you need to figure out what gives you what you want. And of course this might end up in "I'm screwed, I need a steady partner."
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:04 PM   #4
Daxaeha
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I guess it'll come down to me finding that preference.

I mean, in dating I find I prefer casual encounters with a repeat or two. I like to get to know people and spend time when it's convenient without it being a serious commitment.

The question then becomes, whether or not I feel the same way about satisfying my BDSM needs (be it dom or sub) the same way.

Maybe I would prefer it online...or over the phone.

I feel a sexy adventure coming on.
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