New to BDSM

[KittyFlower]

not really. because once i realized he was doming me we do it openly and we arent even in a relationship we are just friends and i let him be the dom in our friendship. if that makes any sense

[Ropebunny]

Originally Posted by KittyFlower

not really. because once i realized he was doming me we do it openly and we arent even in a relationship we are just friends and i let him be the dom in our friendship. if that makes any sense

It sounds like you might be talking about power dynamics. Your friend my be taking the lead in your conversations or relationship but that is a very different thing to domination in a sexual sense.

Here's a link: Power (social and political). Yeah, it's Wikipedia, but it is fairly well referenced and I've got no time to do a better search right now.

Read it, have a think and come back with your philosophy. I'm keen to hear it.

[KittyFlower]

Well we used to be in a relationship that was sexual. but we just continued a friendship and he loves to still dom me cuz he knows how he does it drives me wild. i dont think its power dynamic

[GenuineGuy]

You sound like alot of fun Kitty welcome to Lit!

[KittyFlower]

lol thanks. I do try to be some fun. and I'm just new to the forums but not the site. i have a story and a series posted in the stories part of the site.

[Stella_Omega]

Post a link to your author's page in your sig or in your profile.

[GenuineGuy]

I agree! I would love to read them!

[KittyFlower]

*blush* i think it worked. If it did it is on my signature. If not i am too blond and will need it explained :x

[GenuineGuy]

Originally Posted by KittyFlower

*blush* i think it worked. If it did it is on my signature. If not i am too blond and will need it explained :x

They are great stories, I am hard from reading the first one!

[KittyFlower]

Please rate them. I go off the ratings and comments for where i take the next chapter.

[GenuineGuy]

I will gladly do that. Its nice to see someone my age on here writing stories.

[Ahlam]

Originally Posted by Aurelia_Malys

Not exactly the subject of the OP .... but I am extremely dominant in most aspects of my life. At work, with my friends, with my parents and sister ... I am absolutely the dominant personality. I make decisions for the group. I give direction and control circumstances. BUT I am extremely submissive when it comes to my relationship with my husband. I am not passive-aggressive. [As Netzach described in her earlier post, public life vs personal life can be very different]

Agreed, public life and personal life can be very different indeed and they don't really need to reconcile. For another example, I happen to be a sergeant and in my profession I'm the boss. In my personal life however I put those hats on the shelf. I don't think it makes a passive aggressor out of me, Kittyflower (although I'm always willing to consider new notions). It simply means I'm flexible. People can rise to any occasion and become whatever a situation requires regardless of sexpectations (I made that up). Arguably it's one of the ways we've survived on this planet.

[KittyFlower]

Well I dont believe it is true in every single case however I still find that it works with the majority. and alot of people that do dom or sub in conversations are outside of the BDSM community. like I said its a theory of mine. I dont expect it to be 100% true. But I find it to be true often. and feel free to call me kitty for short

[Primalex]

Originally Posted by KittyFlower

I know what I want but have no idea where to go from here. Any help?

Without a goal every direction is fine.

[GenuineGuy]

How's your day going Kitty? I had a great time reading a couple of your stories last night.

[KittyFlower]

I am doing great today. and yourself? how far did you get in the stories? and is there any others you have ideas for that you would like me to write for you?

[GenuineGuy]

Originally Posted by KittyFlower

I am doing great today. and yourself? how far did you get in the stories? and is there any others you have ideas for that you would like me to write for you?

Chapter 2 of your series. And I could think of one or two

[KittyFlower]

well if you would like pm me with the ideas i can give you the credit for the idea in the notes section if you wish. and you havent even read my favorite chapter yet. i dont usually get all hot when i write but ch 4 got me going.

[GenuineGuy]

Mmm you all worked up sounds great. I would like to get to know you more before you write about my ideas though

[KittyFlower]

i like that answer. how would you like to get to know me?

[RuReal]

Just in case I missed it as the Dom talk seemed to be handled did anyone give her a good place to start out and meet fellow minded people like the second part of the post?

Try "Fet Life" it is one word and a great place to meet people close to you so that you can meet some people in person and learn about things from other people. Not that you are not learning things here, but it can help with the physical learning experience teach you about negotiation and get you interacting with people to maybe act out some of your wants.

If this was already said then I am sorry for repeating.

[KittyFlower]

no it hasnt been mentioned yet. i will have to look into that and see what comes from it. Kinda nervous to meet someone near me though....

[RuReal]

Originally Posted by KittyFlower

no it hasnt been mentioned yet. i will have to look into that and see what comes from it. Kinda nervous to meet someone near me though....

Try a munch they are very social public meetings that just let you meet people without the other bits getting involved allowing you to start building friendships and getting to know people before going to an event and seeing things. Great start off point for new people.

Wish you great luck.

Real