Old 05-14-2012, 11:15 AM   #1
danigrl84
Literotica Guru
 
danigrl84's Avatar
 
danigrl84 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: the middle of nowhere
Posts: 558
Without a trace

How do you cope when a fellow litster goes AWOL? Especially one you have grown close to, spilled your heart to, shared everything with and promised one another to never just disappear without at least a good bye.... I knew this was probably inevitable. Internet affairs/relationships are a complicated thing, especially when the people involved are in serious relationships irl. I guess I'm looking for how other people have dealt with this....no lectures on not chatting with married men, please.
Maybe misery will love company and we can find comfort in one anothers voids...
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-14-2012, 11:23 AM   #2
danigrl84
Literotica Guru
 
danigrl84's Avatar
 
danigrl84 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: the middle of nowhere
Posts: 558
I should be clear that although I am heartbroken for my own selfish reasons, I have been a bit overwhelmed with concern and worry as to what has caused his absence. Hoping and praying that communications weren't discovered and the reason for the abrupt disappearance.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-14-2012, 12:50 PM   #3
SweetErika
Work in Progress
 
SweetErika's Avatar
 
SweetErika is offline
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Seattle Area
Posts: 13,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by danigrl84 View Post
I should be clear that although I am heartbroken for my own selfish reasons, I have been a bit overwhelmed with concern and worry as to what has caused his absence. Hoping and praying that communications weren't discovered and the reason for the abrupt disappearance.
There's a fair chance that IS the case. People don't seem to be particularly smart when it comes to hiding their cheating, do they?

If his wife did find out, I'd say you should focus on feeling really sorry and compassionate towards her. What you're going through is nothing in comparison to the heartbreak she's experiencing.
__________________
Mmm...sex and chocolate!
I'd love to hear what you think of my story, Truffles with a Tryst!
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-14-2012, 03:56 PM   #4
KlaytonFrost
Literotica Guru
 
KlaytonFrost's Avatar
 
KlaytonFrost is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 505
Sometimes real life gets in the way. Maybe he hasn't gone, but is just taking a break to deal with some stuff. Give him some time to return before starting to worry.
__________________
Don't forget to check out my blog:
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-14-2012, 05:50 PM   #5
query
Loquacious Sesquipedalian
 
query's Avatar
 
query is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: High Plains
Posts: 8,674
.......

Last edited by query : 08-08-2014 at 02:09 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-14-2012, 07:05 PM   #6
anne22
Literotica Guru
 
anne22's Avatar
 
anne22 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 694
Quote:
Originally Posted by danigrl84 View Post
How do you cope when a fellow litster goes AWOL? Especially one you have grown close to, spilled your heart to, shared everything with and promised one another to never just disappear without at least a good bye.... I knew this was probably inevitable. Internet affairs/relationships are a complicated thing, especially when the people involved are in serious relationships irl. I guess I'm looking for how other people have dealt with this....no lectures on not chatting with married men, please.
Maybe misery will love company and we can find comfort in one anothers voids...
This is my own personal nightmare. I am so very very sorry that you're living it right now.

How long has it been, and what's the longest time he's been away previously? Also, how long have you been together? All of those are factors in what might be happening.
__________________
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
-C.S. Lewis
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-15-2012, 08:12 AM   #7
AudioFilly
Virgin
 
AudioFilly is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
I'm open & above board with my husband on my end, but I'm his secret friend on his end. I know that there will be temporary absent times. The worst have been during a couple of different hospital stays & me with no way to check on him. I just have to wait it out while going out of my mind.

I don't have a solution for you, but know you are not alone in such a situation.

How long has it been since you've heard from him? It could just be that something came up on his end. The absence could be temporary.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 06:16 PM   #8
happymizer
Virgin
 
happymizer is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 17
slightly different situation for me

Had a long distance gf for 3 years that I had originally met on Y chat. One day she just never contact me again. Horribly painful but nothing I could do. Good Luck
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 06:31 PM   #9
TROLLSACK
Loves Spam
 
TROLLSACK is offline
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 32
Oh god... I just don't get how someone can fall in love with someone they have never met. Haven't you guys seen catfish? The broad that you are heartbroken over is probably just some fat sweaty dude fucking with you... If it is a real female, I bet that she never looked at you the way you looked at her. You were probably nothing more than just a distraction for her. I suggest that you never consider someone to be your girlfriend unless you have touched her vagina.

Cheers,
The Troll

Last edited by TROLLSACK : 08-06-2014 at 06:36 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 02:26 AM   #10
obstinate fawn
Experienced
 
obstinate fawn is offline
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Apache Junction, AZ
Posts: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by danigrl84 View Post
How do you cope when a fellow litster goes AWOL? Especially one you have grown close to, spilled your heart to, shared everything with and promised one another to never just disappear without at least a good bye.... I knew this was probably inevitable. Internet affairs/relationships are a complicated thing, especially when the people involved are in serious relationships irl. I guess I'm looking for how other people have dealt with this....no lectures on not chatting with married men, please.
Maybe misery will love company and we can find comfort in one anothers voids...
The same thing happened to me several years ago. He just suddenly disappeared. I held my peace for about 2 weeks, then started searching Lit for other posts and replies to other posters. Finally found someone one else he was talking to quite a bit and wrote her to see if she had heard from her (she also lived closer to him, in the same state at least). She had not and said she would try to contact him to let him know I was trying to find him. Finally, after about 5 or 6 weeks, he did come back on line and had had a major heart attack requiring bypass. It turned out well for us, but we did eventually mutually agree to go our separate ways.
__________________
It's only kinky the first time.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 02:53 AM   #11
pfflyerhot
Literotica Guru
 
pfflyerhot's Avatar
 
pfflyerhot is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In perpetual limbo.
Posts: 7,708
Funny...

Quote:
Originally Posted by danigrl84 View Post
How do you cope when a fellow litster goes AWOL? Especially one you have grown close to, spilled your heart to, shared everything with and promised one another to never just disappear without at least a good bye.... I knew this was probably inevitable. Internet affairs/relationships are a complicated thing, especially when the people involved are in serious relationships irl. I guess I'm looking for how other people have dealt with this....no lectures on not chatting with married men, please.
Maybe misery will love company and we can find comfort in one anothers voids...
Here's a recent post I made in the "Let's Hear Your Voice" thread, on this very topic...
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0qM3CDk8hh7
I'm still twisting about this one... and we hadn't gotten anywhere near heart-spilling promises... I felt we were just becoming friends and he wasn't married... so he said. It's fucking rude to not say goodbye... or even fuck you... I'd be happy with fuck you, even. But, then again... what if they're dead..?

Last edited by pfflyerhot : 08-07-2014 at 02:57 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 03:45 AM   #12
TheJestersAdvocate
;)
 
TheJestersAdvocate's Avatar
 
TheJestersAdvocate is offline
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 18,580
Quote:
Originally Posted by pfflyerhot View Post
Here's a recent post I made in the "Let's Hear Your Voice" thread, on this very topic...
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0qM3CDk8hh7
I'm still twisting about this one... and we hadn't gotten anywhere near heart-spilling promises... I felt we were just becoming friends and he wasn't married... so he said. It's fucking rude to not say goodbye... or even fuck you... I'd be happy with fuck you, even. But, then again... what if they're dead..?
That could very well be...or their internet access could be, anyways. I try my best to ensure saying goodbye when conversing with folks...and unless it's an emergency, won't leave without doing so. Who knows what is going on with some folks.....I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.....as much as it sucks, life does get hectic at times.

*smirks and chuckles a bit* Heh....sorry, just found it funny how you think NOT saying fuck you is rude. I like the way you think.
__________________
Quote from Firefly, episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds"

If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
- Shepherd Book to Capt. Mal Reynolds.

"If someone tries to kill you, you try and kill them right back."

Quote from Firefly episode "Serenity"

Wash: "Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive."

(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."

(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"

(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 06:50 AM   #13
RawHumor
Literotica Guru
 
RawHumor's Avatar
 
RawHumor is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Michigan
Posts: 54,356
Sadly, it's one of the realities of online relationships (romantic or platonic), and not just with married people. With married people, you obviously have that huge extra variable... their spouse can be the "easy" reason that the person you're talking to suddenly disappeared. Sickness (or worse) is another possibility, as was mentioned above. Then, this being the net, there is the scenario of "online death", where someone just creates a new username and possibly a new persona, and the old one disappears without a trace (similar to the catfish scenario that my idiotic friend mentioned above).

It happens. 90% of the time you never get an answer to your question. You just try to hope/pray for the best for the person and hope that you DO find some resolution at some point, knowing that you very well might not.

Exchanging cell numbers and talking on the phone can bring two people closer and reduce the risk of them disappearing without a trace or without reason, but can have its own inherent risks.
__________________
Your stomach across my lap, your skirt pulled up, your bare ass waiting for my hand... now ask me for it.



Don't be a douche! Click here.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 07:12 AM   #14
JtohisPB
BAMF!
 
JtohisPB's Avatar
 
JtohisPB is offline
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,442
Quote:
Originally Posted by TROLLSACK View Post
Oh god... I just don't get how someone can fall in love with someone they have never met. Haven't you guys seen catfish? The broad that you are heartbroken over is probably just some fat sweaty dude fucking with you... If it is a real female, I bet that she never looked at you the way you looked at her.You were probably nothing more than just a distraction for her. I suggest that you never consider someone to be your girlfriend unless you have touched her vagina.

Cheers,
The Troll
You seem to have become confused in the middle of a sentence. Are you suggesting that he is a fat, sweaty dude or that he is pretending to be female (WTF?).

Also, while cat fishing is a very real thing, so is forming bonds with people over the Internet. For many, the benefit of the interaction with others outweighs the alarm at fake people. If he's not asking her for money or other items of monetary value, he's not catfishing her. This doesn't mean he's genuine, I realize.

To the OP, I do know how you feel and the heartbreak is real. With no other means of contacting him, you will have to go through this without answers to your questions. He may or may not return, and you may or may not ever understand why. It is likely he was caught or became ashamed of cheating and needed to stop. Maybe he or a member of his family has health concerns. Who knows. I suggest you focus on healing your heart and trying to move on.

__________________
Please don't PM me for anything other than friendship.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 08:56 AM   #15
GiggLeGasm
June Cleaver Wannabe
 
GiggLeGasm's Avatar
 
GiggLeGasm is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Clevelandish, Ohio... A great place to live; I wouldn't want to vacation here.
Posts: 12,202
To directly answer your question, you handle it as you would handle any breakup. In real life, if you get involved with someone who is already involved, you run the risk that that person may wake up one day and make a choice between the two of you. One of you may feel heartbreak.. two of you.. three of you..
If that's what happened, then the only heartbreak that you can work on is your own.

The fact that this relationship happened on line didn't make it that much different than if it would have happened in real life. You might have still fallen head over heels for a guy who wanted the best of both worlds.. or who doesn't know how to close one book before opening another.. or is just lost and using relationships as therapy.. or.. or.. or

So the question is.. how would you handle it if he was some guy who lived 30 minutes away and just stopped returning your calls?
__________________
I don't swallow. I let it run down my chin in a cheap attempt to look kinky.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 01:35 PM   #16
Primalex
能ある鷹は爪を隠す。
 
Primalex's Avatar
 
Primalex is offline
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,632
Quote:
Originally Posted by danigrl84 View Post
How do you cope when a fellow litster goes AWOL?
You pick some lonely guy and have sex with him. He will feel better and this will make you feel better.
__________________
There is no good and evil, there is only power...and those too weak to seek it.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-07-2014, 07:18 PM   #17
pfflyerhot
Literotica Guru
 
pfflyerhot's Avatar
 
pfflyerhot is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In perpetual limbo.
Posts: 7,708
Time...

Time, and knowing that I was always sincere has helped me.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:35 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.