Old 07-23-2015, 02:03 PM   #1
HeavenlyT
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Normal boring sex?

Hey all trying a new post. I was talking with some friends and was wondering if others kind of think this way also. Everyone had their fantasies and sometimes maybe our fantasies overtake our mind leaving that basic one on one traditional sex with our partner has become boring leaving us with a bad sex life. Basically I think I have become more into fantasies and taboo that if I have sex with a guy that doesn't really know my wants and likes, that I find it more boring. Anyone know what I'm getting at? Have you become more into your fantasies that sex with your spouse/partner just doesn't do it for you. You could have all the sex in the world at home but you just don't want to?
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Old 07-23-2015, 02:09 PM   #2
tjernst
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Very true

Hi, I'm Ted.
I find your statement very true. I am in a loving marriage but my wife cannot have sex do to very bad health. I find myself seeking deeper into the sexual taboo of the world.
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Old 07-23-2015, 02:18 PM   #3
TalkToMeInSB
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Certainly the ideal is to be able to play out your fantasies and taboos at home! While not possible (been trying to get her to just say, "Daddy cum for me!") normal sex at home is certainly better than no sex at home!

I absolutely love sinking into her hot pussy, whether it is a quickie in the morning, or full on animalistic fucking and grunting, and smacking her ass with her bent over the kitchen table.

It seems your question speaks to the comfort level with communication and role playing of the two people at home. And, of course, whether their kinks line up.

But for me the answer is no, sex at home is not boring, partly because I just love having sex with her, partly because we are gradually opening up and sharing our desires.
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Old 07-23-2015, 02:26 PM   #4
seraph_nocturne
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Originally Posted by TalkToMeInSB View Post
Certainly the ideal is to be able to play out your fantasies and taboos at home! While not possible (been trying to get her to just say, "Daddy cum for me!") normal sex at home is certainly better than no sex at home!

I absolutely love sinking into her hot pussy, whether it is a quickie in the morning, or full on animalistic fucking and grunting, and smacking her ass with her bent over the kitchen table.

It seems your question speaks to the comfort level with communication and role playing of the two people at home. And, of course, whether their kinks line up.

But for me the answer is no, sex at home is not boring, partly because I just love having sex with her, partly because we are gradually opening up and sharing our desires.
With you on this one. I enjoy my hubby so much that even our short, sporadic quickies just to take the edge off are utmost enjoyable. I get over the fact that I don't get off every time, set aside my naughty thoughts and desires, and just get lost in him. It's never a bore. We talk about sex rather often, things we like, things we'd like to try.

OP, perhaps you might try talking it out with your spouse/partner, maybe make some of those fantasies a reality? It's almost sad how unusual and awkward people seem to become when talking about sex, especially when most people are so eager to engage in it... never really understood it.
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Old 07-23-2015, 03:46 PM   #5
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I get it.

For me, good sex is like good food or good literature: it's complex, layered, imaginative, and full of surprises; it delights and satisfies. Anything less just isn't very interesting.
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Old 07-23-2015, 03:59 PM   #6
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I'm hugely imaginative sexually and several fantasies play out in my mind and always have since before I'm allowed to say on here.

And yet:

Sex with my wonderful woman of 39 years marriage is never boring. Even when it is vanilla it is delightful. And plenty times it gets what seems to us adventurous, within the frame of one on one. And it has changed a great deal. Not least in these last few years when I can go on just as long as I fancy before my explosion. And her orgasms, which have always had a real wow about them are now utterly fabulous.

I hope that what we have is not too exceptional. All it takes is love, esteem, genuine being there for each other, lots else in life too, fitness, talking about sex, and a great sense of fun and adventure in sex.
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Old 07-23-2015, 05:09 PM   #7
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Fantasy is fun but it has never been more interesting for me than "vanilla" one-on-one sex, whose possibilities I'm far from having exhausted. They're different activities in basic ways as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 07-23-2015, 05:34 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tjernst View Post
Hi, I'm Ted.
I find your statement very true. I am in a loving marriage but my wife cannot have sex do to very bad health. I find myself seeking deeper into the sexual taboo of the world.
This is so true in a millionplus marriages on both sides
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Old 07-23-2015, 07:40 PM   #9
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I wouldn't call sex with my hubby "boring". If anything it is exactly what the doctor ordered. Having said that he isn't the most imaginative guy but he does try. Any day I can get him off the couch and to put down his beer is a victory lol.
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Old 07-23-2015, 07:44 PM   #10
WebTraveller
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My wife used to be a beast in bed but over the years she has slowly gotten mundane and not adventurous at all. Even when I try new things, ask about other possibilities, she is just not into it. Don't get me wrong, she still gets me going, just very vanilla. I on the other hand have gotten very open minded and have TONS of fantasies.
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Old 07-23-2015, 08:00 PM   #11
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Ditto WebTraveller. She has become vanilla (and I like vanilla) and I have moved on to Ben and Jerry's variety pack.
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Old 07-23-2015, 09:56 PM   #12
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Sex is good no matter what. I'll take a quickie over nothing anyday. That said, I found that I wasn't happy with the comparatively boring sex I had with my husband. My bf is very adventurous and we've talked about numerous fantasies we both have. We've been making arrangements to have as many of both of our fantasies come true as is feasible and enjoy fantasizing together about the ones that don't seem to have too much likelihood of coming true.
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Old 07-23-2015, 11:09 PM   #13
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I realize how lucky I an when I hear about this problem with many relationships. My wife and I share the same fantasies and are both open to new things. Not sure I could go back to only "vanilla" sex.
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Old 07-24-2015, 02:45 AM   #14
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The thought of something "different" excites most people.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side though!

If the mental connection is still there, the sex will always be great...
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Old 07-24-2015, 06:38 AM   #15
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Boring sex is the best.
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Old 07-24-2015, 11:25 AM   #16
MiaAntonia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeavenlyT View Post
Hey all trying a new post. I was talking with some friends and was wondering if others kind of think this way also. Everyone had their fantasies and sometimes maybe our fantasies overtake our mind leaving that basic one on one traditional sex with our partner has become boring leaving us with a bad sex life. Basically I think I have become more into fantasies and taboo that if I have sex with a guy that doesn't really know my wants and likes, that I find it more boring. Anyone know what I'm getting at? Have you become more into your fantasies that sex with your spouse/partner just doesn't do it for you. You could have all the sex in the world at home but you just don't want to?

Yes, fantasy can get hold of you and take you to your own subconscious world. It can ruin your sex life if you become too dependent on it without trying to reach out for your partner and involve him in it. But on the other hand fantasy can be a very powerful tool to revv up sex life with your partner. In therapy we encourage the partners to use fantasy to improve sex life.
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