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Old 10-13-2013, 04:59 PM   #1
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What attracts you to a member of the opposite sex?

I'm tackling the question, "What attracts you to a member of the opposite sex?" for an upcoming blog post. I just want to outline the similarities and differences between men and women to get a better idea of how each other thinks.

Thanks!
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:10 PM   #2
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I'm tackling the question, "What attracts you to a member of the opposite sex?" for an upcoming blog post. I just want to outline the similarities and differences between men and women to get a better idea of how each other thinks.

Thanks!
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:11 PM   #3
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Here goes!

For me, first it is her face: features, but more, expressions: just a fleeting glimpse of personality is what I need, to spark attraction, or otherwise. Given that spark, it is then for me, frankly, about shape. I love dearly a number of women who are really rounded, but for me, sexual attraction has to be about potential for pretty athletic sex; I've got to be able to 'wear' her, on me. With that comes the appeal of her demeanor, poise, movement; that's about seeing that she is comfortable with herself, and with the company she is in, including me. Then, of course, it is conversation - a lot of it - before I would know that this woman is someone I will enjoy spending time with, whether on adventure or date or romantic meal or passionate undressing.

Is that the sort of stuff?

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Old 10-13-2013, 05:23 PM   #4
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Here goes!

For me, first it is her face: features, but more, expressions: just a fleeting glimpse of personality is what I need, to spark attraction, or otherwise. Given that spark, it is then for me, frankly, about shape. I love dearly a number of women who are really rounded, but for me, sexual attraction has to be about potential for pretty athletic sex; I've got to be able to 'wear' her, on me. With that comes the appeal of her demeanor, poise, movement; that's about seeing that she is comfortable with herself, and with the company she is in, including me. Then, of course, it is conversation - a lot of it - before I would know that this woman is someone I will enjoy spending time with, whether on adventure or date or romantic meal or passionate undressing.

Is that the sort of stuff?

Si.
Great answer, but it doesn't mean that any answer is worse or better. I just want to get honest feedback. I have no intention of analyzing, interpreting or judging answeres.
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Old 10-13-2013, 06:44 PM   #5
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A great face, nice smile, sexy eyes. If the face isn't good, I'm not going to look more than 5 or 6 more times.

Also, I'm an ass man. I love a great ass, then a nice set of legs, and finally a nice tummy.

Tits are nice, I prefer them on the smaller side. I've dated girls with big natural ones in my younger days, and as they get older, mother nature and gravity take hold and then they aren't so great. Smaller ones seem to keep their shape a little more and don't sag so low.
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Old 10-13-2013, 06:56 PM   #6
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Physically, the first things that engage me are usually eyes and mouth (looking for smiles) and hands. I think strong, "done stuff" hands are sexy.

After that, a good laugh and a sense of humor are on the top of the list, followed by intelligence and kindness.
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:01 PM   #7
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As far as guys go, if he's got long hair and a clean-shaven face that's probably enough to catch my initial interest. Bonus points if his hair is black, blond, red, or dyed a vivid color. So yeah, I probably could be considered a hair fetishist :P but that's just what a strong interest in fantasy and historical movies and novels have trained me to consider the look of an exciting man. Then I look at what he's wearing - serious minus points if the outfit includes a polo shirt, a sweater-vest, khakis, or loafers. Or if he's visibly dirty (without a good reason such as being in the middle of doing yard work). Bonus points if his clothing is color-coordinated, and that color is not orange, gray-green, or navy.

If I'm vaguely interested in a guy because of his looks, I pay attention to how he talks. Is he mean, critical, does he think it's funny to insult others or does he like to start arguments about politics or religion? Does he seem bigoted against other races or sexualities, or contemptuous of the poor? Do his interests include nothing but sports and cars or guns? All huge minuses for me. On the other hand if he has a creative hobby, if I see him make an effort to cheer someone else up, if he seems genuinely pleased just to be with his friends and/or me, if he seems playful without being obnoxiously competitive, those are all bonus points.

(And no, I don't actually use numbers, points are just a metaphor for my increasing or decreasing interest.)
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:14 PM   #8
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Big tits!!
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:22 PM   #9
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My tastes vary wildly but I am typically attracted to a man who carries himself with an air of confidence and who looks at me appreciatively. I can see the hottest man and if he looks through me I don't really care much but an average looking man who locks eyes with me, smiles and lets me know he's interested, with his eyes, will totally make my heart race.

I prefer tall men, 6'0" and taller but I've dated men much shorter.

I also like nice hair, nice hands and great teeth.

So, confidence, height, good hair, nice hands and good teeth and I'm initiall drawn in.

Then I start noticing attitude, etc.

I don't like bullies, men who talk down to others or make fun of others (at least in earshot of said person) , are condescending or who are timid. I like someone who laughs easily and freely and who is very physically affectionate.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:48 PM   #10
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Chemistry.

...its not all that common, but you know it when you've got it with a partner - and when you've got it, you're attracted.
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Old 10-13-2013, 11:16 PM   #11
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its the face for me cuz lets face it,all women share the same thing regardless of shapes and sizes.what they dont share its the same face.i'm also attracted to the voice,the more feminine the better.the rest will sadly whiter away due to age or illness or whatever but a good countenance plus a nice,soft femenine voice can last well in to old age
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Old 10-14-2013, 12:39 AM   #12
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Start with a look at her feet, then legs and ass. This works better in the warm months
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:06 AM   #13
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i think def that the way they dress and there ass and face

i find if they have there arss and tits hanging out puts me off a chick dressed sexy but nice is always more turn on than one who looks like porn star

also when it comes down to it sense of humour big plus no one like a chick who thinks she is a princess
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:09 AM   #14
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First thing I notice, build. Tall or short, I like a solid meaty build. Some extra cuddly around the middle is all good.

Sense of humor. Make me laugh, make me smile, me love you long while.

Interactive personality. Don't bully the conversation but don't make me do all the work. Have a few stories and informed opinions. If you tell me 3 stories and all 3 are drinking stories, I'm gone.

Smile. Don't be angry guy, broody guy, or aloof guy. You will be alone guy.

Nice scent. A nice cologne stops me in my tracks. Musk will make me leave the room. When I was a retail cashier, I was extra nice (wink wink) to men with good cologne.

Spruce yourself up. Unless you are mowing the lawn, don't be dressed like you're mowing the lawn. Now, work jeans, work boots, work shirt is good.

I like manly handsome faces, not pretty boy faces. Nimoy > Shatner. Quinto > Pine. Ford > Hamill. Diesel>Pitt. I also like classic clean cut. Chris Evans as Johnny Storm, meh. Chris Evans as Captain America, bang!

Check your grill. If you have jacked up teeth or dirty teeth, no... ever.

No weird piercings and crap. I don't fish so I don't want to look at you and see tackle and lures.

No metrosexual. If you preen more than I do, it's not happening. I like manly. A guy can get a manicure, but I just don't want a guy who's described as "really in touch with his feminine side."
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:18 AM   #15
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1) A pretty face. That's the main thing for me.

2) As for body, I'm not picky at all. I've been really attracted to women who are short, tall, skiny, curvy, ect... I like it all.

But if I had to give a description, the one thing I like is curves around the hips. Toned thighs with a curvy rear end, I love touching those. I don't have a preference for breast size.

3) As for personality, I like a woman who's really nice (but not a push over).
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:21 AM   #16
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:23 AM   #17
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eyes !!!!
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:27 AM   #18
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Another note on personality; I like a woman who's really smart.

That can be a real turn on. If you watch cable news, there are tons of beautiful woman who are really smart, who can talk very intelligently about a range of subjects.

I like that it makes them independent and strong.

But of course, it's a turn-off if they're so smart than they become snobs. I like when they're smart and down to earth. Very sexy.
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Old 10-14-2013, 09:15 AM   #19
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I'm tackling the question, "What attracts you to a member of the opposite sex?" for an upcoming blog post. I just want to outline the similarities and differences between men and women to get a better idea of how each other thinks.

Thanks!
Initial attraction....it's all about the aesthetics. Face, then legs. Bad hair and bad shoes can immediately rule an otherwise potentially attractive woman out for me. I don't have a "type" in terms of how tall or hair colour. I try to find the attractive features because I really like females

Then, confidence....not in the I'm awesome way. But she has to be able to successfully give me a proper handshake and hold my eyes while introducing herself for the first time. The non verbal communications are very important to me and those are two of the strongest ones.

The rest is deeper, personality traits similar to mine etc....they are what maintains the attraction, not what get it so I do not count them as needing to be weighed.
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Old 10-14-2013, 02:08 PM   #20
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what gets my attention: a pretty face. i'm much more face-focused than a lot of guys but i figure that it's what i'm gonna spend most of my time looking at. i'm particularly into women who dress well. not designer, but put together their outfits with some attention to how it looks on them.

what keeps my attention: something that says she's smart, funny and is a good person. and a little (not a lot) of attitude always helps for me.

ed
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Old 10-14-2013, 02:17 PM   #21
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The number one thing that can catch my eye instantly at any distance is long hair. Long, luxurious hair let loose, falling down her back.

#1 would be straight brunette. Runner up is red head. I actually never really went wild for blonds. Some curl is okay, as is some frizz.

As I get closer, I start to notice their body. Sometimes they're as sexy as I imagine them based on their hair, sometimes they aren't-- not quite the right shape. Or age. Or gender (lol).

A happy day is any day my wife doesn't put her hair up. An extra happy day is any day she doesn't put her hair up during sex.

The best of all days is when she doesn't put her hair up while I'm laying on my back and she's sucking on me, her hair cascading down over her face, over my body, tickling everywhere.
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Old 10-14-2013, 02:41 PM   #22
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It's the come fuck me look a woman gives. Still an amazing rush.
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Old 10-14-2013, 02:55 PM   #23
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Old 10-14-2013, 03:08 PM   #24
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I'm going to have to come back and read more of the replies. Right now, it's difficult enough to think through a headache as I wait for the Advil to kick in. Urgh. Does sex really cure headaches or is that a lie some guy made up at some point? If it does... will someone please come ride me to cure this damn headache?

What I'm attracted to depends. There are a wide range of things and it really is a combination of them - how those things come together in each person is how each person is different. It's more than physical in most cases.

It also depends on what I'm looking for. Isn't that true of all of us regardless of gender? There's a difference between what you might look for in a bennies friend fuck buddy and what you'd look for when you hope to find more romantic depth and longevity.

Mind: I love a sexy mind. Some of the things that can come together in that are... intelligence, articulateness, flirtiness, open-mindedness about sex... those sorts of things. It's hot to me if she's able to be alluring in a classy, flirtatious way using more subtle feminine expression and yet change gears and be as dirty and direct as you can get.

Demeanor: Like above, the ability to change gears. I love a woman who can be aggressive and raw, unleashing a fire inside to pin me against a wall if she desires, yet also appreciative of the softer side of intimacy. Sex is dynamic and I love the range of expression. Getting the sense she's similar in that can attract me. Coupled with this is... everybody has their limits and I don't expect none, but the less inhibited by thoughts of "taboo" or "gross" the more freeflow sex can be. That doesn't mean it has to be super-kinky, just that a woman with a more free mind who can let go and roll with spur of the moment expression is hot.

Physicality: Over time, I've come to appreciate so many different varieties. When younger, I preferred smaller perkier tits... nowadays, I find myself attracted to big as well and it's more about the shape or the imagination of how they'd feel. When younger, I liked little butts... but, damn do I find that bigger hips and more ass hot these days as well. Those are just some of the things that have changed. When it comes down to it, it can be something about her eyes... and lips (especially glossy ones) can be a major turn-on... or the graceful lines of her neck or back... legs... hell, I look and just notice what I notice about each person and it either comes together to attract me or it doesn't.
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Old 10-14-2013, 03:21 PM   #25
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The physical traits come first, because that's what lures you in before you get a chance to talk, at least in the real world.
For me, it's face, butt, and boobs.
A pretty face goes a long way with me, and would trump her other features that might not be great.
A great butt will steal my gaze any day of the week.
Boobs... who doesn't like boobs?
I actually value those in that order, though; the face is easily most important.

Once you start talking to and getting to know someone, the game changes.
I like girls who are sweet, friendly, playful, silly, and have a dirty mind like mine.
They need to lead the conversation and make me feel comfortable.
I'm a terrible conversationalist, so it would help if she kept it going when it got slow.
If we start talking about the weather, it's doomed.
If she can actually get me talking a lot, we're golden.
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