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Old 11-12-2012, 10:06 PM   #1
game_master24
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The difference between orgasm denial and delay

I want to bring this up because I think a lot of people are confusing the two. There are several examples in the thread:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=792957

where the two are mixed up. Even the op mixed it up in his topic post.

I've practiced orgasm denial for two years. While that may not be very long to some and I am by no means calling myself an expert on the matter, I think I have a handle on what it is and what orgasm delay is. To me, Orgasm denial is the act of withholding an orgasm over a period of sessions. Orgasm delay is where in the same session the orgasm is slowly built and then given.

These are two different acts. They get mixed up a lot though, and now that my obsessive compulsive tendency to correct a wrong is completed I will go back to lurking.
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Old 11-13-2012, 01:04 AM   #2
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How is that working out? Do you enjoy it?

I have considered incorporating this into our practices before so I appreciate the claification. Nice of you to share.
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Old 11-13-2012, 01:39 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by game_master24 View Post
I want to bring this up because I think a lot of people are confusing the two. There are several examples in the thread:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=792957

where the two are mixed up. Even the op mixed it up in his topic post.

I've practiced orgasm denial for two years. While that may not be very long to some and I am by no means calling myself an expert on the matter, I think I have a handle on what it is and what orgasm delay is. To me, Orgasm denial is the act of withholding an orgasm over a period of sessions. Orgasm delay is where in the same session the orgasm is slowly built and then given.

These are two different acts. They get mixed up a lot though, and now that my obsessive compulsive tendency to correct a wrong is completed I will go back to lurking.
I think you're being too specific. I think they're both the same. Some people just take it to the next level, while others prefer quicker rewards. Call it what you want, I'm easy.
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Old 11-13-2012, 01:43 AM   #4
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Quote:
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I think you're being too specific. I think they're both the same. Some people just take it to the next level, while others prefer quicker rewards. Call it what you want, I'm easy.
It's actually an important distinction when you're trying to figure out what the hell somebody wants when they're talking about "tease and denial" or whatever.
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Old 11-13-2012, 01:50 AM   #5
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It's actually an important distinction when you're trying to figure out what the hell somebody wants when they're talking about "tease and denial" or whatever.
That's where communication comes in. You both decide on a length of time before hand. I said I'm easy.
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Old 11-13-2012, 08:07 AM   #6
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You both make good points. It should be clearly communicated, and it should be distinguished between the two. In my experience, subs don't always like new things, so when you try something like orgasm denial on them, they kind of question you if they think its one thing and you think it's something completely opposite.

Which by the way, I've enjoyed the power to say, "no you may not have an orgasm." I don't know how much they've liked it (lol), but if you give them a set time, they know long they have to suffer, and are more willing to participate.
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Old 11-13-2012, 03:03 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by game_master24 View Post
You both make good points. It should be clearly communicated, and it should be distinguished between the two. In my experience, subs don't always like new things, so when you try something like orgasm denial on them, they kind of question you if they think its one thing and you think it's something completely opposite.

Which by the way, I've enjoyed the power to say, "no you may not have an orgasm." I don't know how much they've liked it (lol), but if you give them a set time, they know long they have to suffer, and are more willing to participate.
I think the preferred term is orgasm denial, but that's just what it's called. Some prefer longer lengths of denial than others, because we are all different. And it can depend a lot on how the denial is carried out, too. If you keep your "victim's" total interest, you can sometimes have them do most anything, just to be allowed an orgasm.

One of my stories has a section totally dedicated to orgasm denial, as a game between the sub and dom. I can point you to the section, if you want to read it. Of course, it's not necessary for you to read how I do it, if you are satisfied with how you do it.

Keep your submissive's interest in this denial thing, and you both will reap the benefits. Her, when you eventually allow her an explosive orgasm and you, when she allows you to deny her again and again.
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Old 11-13-2012, 04:05 PM   #8
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Orgasm denial - temporary.

Chastity - no set endpoint, a SOP of sorts.
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Old 11-13-2012, 04:20 PM   #9
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Orgasm denial - temporary.

Chastity - no set endpoint, a SOP of sorts.
Orgasm delay - FUN

Orgasm denial - Just plain mean
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:01 PM   #10
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Orgasm delay - FUN

Orgasm denial - Just plain mean
I agree
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Old 11-13-2012, 08:22 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by KWAL View Post
How is that working out? Do you enjoy it?

I have considered incorporating this into our practices before so I appreciate the claification. Nice of you to share.

Okay, I want to put my little bit of caution in here.

Jounar loves orgasm denial, and we added it to my contract for the better part of 6 years. It's gone several ways.

At one point I could earn passes so that if I were playing with some one else, I could orgasm during play, or choose to use the pass on my own. There were also certain people he gave me a free pass with and as long as they said I could orgasm, I could. We played it that way for...2 years...then I got a steady play partner(couple) and was given a free pass for only them.

Now after 6 years, I've gotten so conditioned to only being allowed to orgasm when Jounar says I can, that even when he gives me passes, I can't get myself off. That started 2 years ago. This year I realized that I can't orgasm, even when playing with Mr and/or Mrs unless my trigger word is pulled. (Long story, but think extreme orgasm on command).

It's very frustrating at times, but Jounar loves it. He says it's like he really owns my orgasms.

Neither one of us has any clue how we'd go about untraining that. Not that he's very inclined to do it.
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Old 11-13-2012, 09:39 PM   #12
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Okay, I want to put my little bit of caution in here.

Jounar loves orgasm denial, and we added it to my contract for the better part of 6 years. It's gone several ways.

At one point I could earn passes so that if I were playing with some one else, I could orgasm during play, or choose to use the pass on my own. There were also certain people he gave me a free pass with and as long as they said I could orgasm, I could. We played it that way for...2 years...then I got a steady play partner(couple) and was given a free pass for only them.

Now after 6 years, I've gotten so conditioned to only being allowed to orgasm when Jounar says I can, that even when he gives me passes, I can't get myself off. That started 2 years ago. This year I realized that I can't orgasm, even when playing with Mr and/or Mrs unless my trigger word is pulled. (Long story, but think extreme orgasm on command).

It's very frustrating at times, but Jounar loves it. He says it's like he really owns my orgasms.

Neither one of us has any clue how we'd go about untraining that. Not that he's very inclined to do it.
Haha Isn't this less of a problem with the denial and more a problem with the fact you were trained to cum on command?
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Old 11-13-2012, 09:52 PM   #13
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Haha Isn't this less of a problem with the denial and more a problem with the fact you were trained to cum on command?

I wasn't trained to "cum on command," I was brain washed (subliminal messages implanted in my sleep).

If it were simply related to being "trained to cum on command" then I would have experienced this issue before meeting Jounar (who was not the one to kink me this way). Hell Jounar has never even used my trigger word on me. Not once.

So, no, I believe it's a result of being trained to only orgasm with his permission, usually under his supervision.
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Old 11-13-2012, 11:04 PM   #14
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I often use the terms "orgasm denial" and "orgasm delay" interchangeably, as do many others. Perhaps they are best thought of as overlapping, sort of like a Venn Diagram, or as different points on a continuum. Generally I delay the orgasm only until later in a session or day. The whole point for me is not to create fewer orgasms but to create better ones (and even more ones). If I could do that by never denying one for more than a session or a few hours then I would. But I'm not sure I could; I think part of the force of this experience is the seed of doubt in the subs mind that she actually will be allowed to orgasm then (whenever "then" is).

A baseball analogy comes to mind in this regard: the great Boston Red Sox hitter Ted Williams believed that a batter should never swing at the first pitch. (This wasn't due to his belief in some sort of "hitter's delay," but rather in his desire to be able to gage the pitcher's stuff before swinging.) He said he almost never swung at the first pitch, but that about five percent of the time he did because he needed to keep the pitchers honest.

That's how I personally feel about orgasm delay. To give it its full effect, to keep it honest, sometimes there has to be a denial for a longer period. But otherwise, in my humble opinion, after a suitable period of teasing, begging, and edging, "laissez les bons temps rouler."
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