Old 12-05-2012, 01:17 AM   #26
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If you're looking for someone for mind-expanding, "I-never-thought-about-it-like-that,-wow", pretty much all is on the table (agree to disagree if nec.), sincere and honest discussion, plus nonjudgemental, compassionate "new lens" listening—if that's what you're looking for... That's me. You've found it. I do tend to ramble on, tho, full disclosure...
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:07 AM   #27
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I was there I guess

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In need of rescuing.
You are tired of me already! Too bad I thought we had fun!
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:42 AM   #28
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Page 3

Page 3 is a lonely place
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:35 AM   #29
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:30 PM   #30
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Smile it's Friday

A smile can say what words never can.
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:32 PM   #31
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:44 AM   #32
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Old 12-11-2012, 01:54 AM   #33
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Great Line of Discussion Here

Exploration2, I like what you started here; your handle is very apropos. Honest thanks for getting it rolling.

I'm a bit past the mid in middle aged now, and despair sometimes for the insular lives we've increasing developed in our cocooned households, and how hard it is to have any kind of real interaction these days because of all the distrust we have of one another. While the drive is still there to make meaningful connections, there is a subtext running the whole time we attempt it wondering what underlying motivations might actually exist (e.g., is this person being friendly because they want to sell me something, what immediate self-gratification or gain are they trying to fill before disappearing, etc.).

We can probably speak a lot more honestly about the subject here than many places because I'd dare say we are less inhibited than society at large and probably still place quite a bit of value on living the full rich range of human experience. Ironically, I find more of that range in literature these days than actual people.

When in a social setting I always manage to be engaging, but ultimately it all seems so meaningless for reasons cited above. To be honest, the only true conversations I feel I have these days are with my wife (we have an open marriage in case you're wondering why I roam around here), my children and a few close relatives. Beyond that seems to be the great barrier divide. In any case, yes, I too welcome that chance to have a real conversation and hope that my time spent here might open a few doors to that.

Thanks again for speaking to something that I have thought about extensively the last few years as the ease of interaction I knew as a young man seems to have all but disappeared and not, I think, for my lack of trying or the decreasing flexibility that sometimes accompanies aging. There is far too much superficial group think in the U.S. (reality TV, likes and dislikes that we express through Facebook, etc.) that is increasingly manifested as we grow more and more fearful not only of each other but the government that it supposed to serve us instead of profile us and invade our privacy. Alright, before I really go on a rant, I'm done for now, but if anyone would like to talk further I too, am interested.

As for me, I was a hippy in the late 60s and early 70s, did my time in consensus reality and did well enough at it to retire early, and am now going back to being a sort of hippy sans some partying I've replaced with meditation. It's great to have escaped the cube farm and to be able to think with less clutter and focus on writing again. Any like-minded here who want to discuss their journey, I'd love to hear from you.

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Old 12-11-2012, 02:18 AM   #34
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^^ Nice thread, I think having good conversations are my life's greatest joys. Glad I have a few people to have such convos with at least but the oppotunity to do so are few :/ but in any event, hey people, I'll pm or you me if you'd like to converse.
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:52 PM   #35
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Resurrection

After a long work imposed absence.

A peaceful and happy New Year to all.
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Old 12-28-2012, 04:16 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnieCumLately View Post
While the drive is still there to make meaningful connections, there is a subtext running the whole time we attempt it wondering what underlying motivations might actually exist (e.g., is this person being friendly because they want to sell me something, what immediate self-gratification or gain are they trying to fill before disappearing, etc.).
In my opinion you'll never have friendships with that attitude. Being a friend is about giving, giving part of yourself to someone else, in return they'll give part of themselves back to you. I'm never quite sure why but I make friends easily. I do have an outgoing personality. If I do happen to have a long layover at an airport I'll always find someone of interest to talk to. Most of the time about them, it always works to show interest in another's life.

I to think your idea of having a real conversation Exploration2 to be interesting. It's surprising so few have been interested in doing so. I realize you've received a number of PMs but that doesn't do much for the rest of us on the board.

Here are a few random facts about myself.
I'm almost 31.
By the way my name is Diane.
I'm married. My wife's name is Jessica. I'm a lesbian, which means I'm her wife also.
We have two beautiful twin daughter, fraternal twins. I'm also a twin but my sister and I are identical, at least on the outside, not so much on the inside.

I was born in Connecticut just a short distance from New York City. I fled home, coming out is not always pleasant, to live with my Aunt in Miami, Key Biscayne actually. Moved to New York after I graduated law school, moved home to Connecticut while still working in New York.

Moved from Connecticut to Iowa. Where I am now a full time Mother and a part time Attorney.
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Old 12-29-2012, 12:01 AM   #37
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Bump

A bump for the night.
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Old 12-29-2012, 12:10 AM   #38
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a bump in the night
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Old 12-29-2012, 12:13 AM   #39
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stopping in to say hello-

I will add my two cents that conversation is a lost art. I will admit that there are times in my life when I don't have the energy to do "small talk" but that when I do connect- REALLY connect with people, it is fabulous.

I think that in some ways, we have grown too individualistic. We don't actually care about others. Don't want to care or see people outside of our preconceived notions of them-- so see past the cliches that we use to skate through the day.

Anyways, I will stop my tirade and allow space for others now- but Happy Friday!
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Old 12-29-2012, 01:25 AM   #40
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I'll weigh in on this topic.

I'm surrounded by people who have previous bonds with each other. I seek in conversation, not to break or copy those bonds, but to form my own bonds with these people. Is it always easy? Hell no. But the shared experiences have created real relationships. The people who try too hard to fit in, those that copy the existing bonds between people, they always seem like they don't quite fit in. There are people who are of a common mind who can do that with a group. Immediately adapt to the behaviors of those around them and fit in almost anywhere.

I'm 32, and a whole life story to share with those who would ask. I'm far more open sexually now then at any point in my life. I also like to play devil's advocate, I've gotten pretty convincing at making arguments that I have absolutely no belief in other then it's to take a stand against what you're saying. It's the critical thinking side of me. I don't do it to be an ass. Just to make people think. I know it can rub some people the wrong way, but it's a core part of who I am.
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Old 12-29-2012, 02:09 PM   #41
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Sensuality and Conversations

A conversation for me is the essence of being human. It is what separates us from all other species and it is what we share in common with our closest primate relatives. Conversations allow me to share in the experiences of another person. They allow me to peek into the mind of another soul, while I share mine with them.

It is not about being confrontational or contrary with premeditation. That would fall under the category of a debate rather than a conversation. That is not to say I don't disagree at times, but that is not the intent from the start.

Conversations do involve words however a significant portion of a conversation is nonverbal. Sensuality flows from the mind, and the medium by which the mind expresses itself is conversing, verbal or more often nonverbal.

A look, glance, smile, sparkle in the eye, raised eyebrows, a flick of her head, the crossing of her legs, the way she places her hand next to mine.

To use a cliche the eyes are the window to the mind. Intense emotion will always dilate the pupil. An easy way to tell if your partner is still tuned in.

A good conversation is like a warm bath. It envelopes you in a warm comfortable feeling. Allowing the mind to relax and flow.

Am off to work for a little bit.
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:41 PM   #42
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What a great thread that has got better and better with time, like us older women

Interesting people with great life journeys. It's good to know there are people here who want more than sexual banter. Which doesn't mean to say that during a good conversation sexual banter won't occur.

Exploration - i was thinking about how sometimes conversation isn't needed, but it is more about communication - a look, a touch, and then you wrote about that.

Conversation is how we learn. How we learn to listen, how we learn about life, how we learn about the world, how we learn to interact.

Another thing I love about conversation is laughter - laughing together is so healing.

Thanks for starting this - and i wish there was a like button as I'd have worn my poor old finger out on this thread.

J
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:48 PM   #43
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Bump

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Old 12-30-2012, 02:31 PM   #44
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good thread!....i agree the art of conversation is dying.

we are becoming more and more isolated by the way we live our lives...we can be on a train with dozens of other commuters yet everyone is on their phone texting with someone in another location or surfing the net....or people on their personal stereos exist only in their unique world, oblivious to those around them.

i have the unenviable position of being part of the dating website community, and it is here i see the worst of it...chaps try to engage with me who are absolutely clueless.

often times i'll get "hi" as a conversation starter, or if they are feeling posh i'll get "hello"....most of the time they are looking for me to take charge of the conversation and i'm sitting there thinking "but it's YOU that emailed me".

they want a relationship but they haven't a clue how to even start off the conversation to get to know me (or the myriad of other ladies they email)...it's very sad we've lost this basic method by which we connect with other human beings.
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Old 12-30-2012, 04:57 PM   #45
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My two cents

Like some people have mentioned, conversation has lost a sense of intimacy to some degree, especially when it comes down how we presently interact.

Phone texting isn't nearly as fulfilling as having a phone conversation, because you can hear the inflection of a voice, etc. A lot more effort has to be put into a text because all those cues are missing which gives considerable emphasis to words and phrases.

Real life meetings of course are the best, you get to hear all those emotional and visual cues. Given the fast pace of life now, long drawn out conversations seem to be rapidly evaporating. This is especially reinforced by the variety of options we have to communicate now that are just easier and more time efficient.

Of course in this text environment a lot of emotion and sentiment can be conveyed, as long as the effort is put forth. After all language is an imperfect medium of communication and is always up for interpretation.

Ok, enough of my rambling and I'll give a bump to the author of the page!
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:14 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferreus View Post
Like some people have mentioned, conversation has lost a sense of intimacy to some degree, especially when it comes down how we presently interact.

Phone texting isn't nearly as fulfilling as having a phone conversation, because you can hear the inflection of a voice, etc. A lot more effort has to be put into a text because all those cues are missing which gives considerable emphasis to words and phrases.

Real life meetings of course are the best, you get to hear all those emotional and visual cues. Given the fast pace of life now, long drawn out conversations seem to be rapidly evaporating. This is especially reinforced by the variety of options we have to communicate now that are just easier and more time efficient.

Of course in this text environment a lot of emotion and sentiment can be conveyed, as long as the effort is put forth. After all language is an imperfect medium of communication and is always up for interpretation.

Ok, enough of my rambling and I'll give a bump to the author of the page!
This, I think a lot of people these days have lost the art of conversation and even less appreciate the value of it!! Do I sound really old?? I'm not....honest
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:17 PM   #47
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A bump for the day
Always enjoy a good conversation!
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Old 12-30-2012, 06:41 PM   #48
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Conversations

Conversations have been a dying art form for many a year and maybe it shows my sad state but I remember the last real conversation I had with a stranger better then my fling( which unfortunately is few and far between). It is strange how the internet can bring us all together but so few people know how to actually talk.
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:16 PM   #49
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The Internet can allow us to remove the mask(s) we wear throughout the day, so as to fit in the best we can. We have those that want to stand out and those that would sooner blend into the background and go largely unnoticed and everywhere in between.

Perhaps another reason why the internet seems to encourage greater interaction or the appearance of it is, is shy people find it easier to open up online rather than in real life situtation. Shy people can feel less presurised online as quite often they can take their time to make their reply.

As for dating sites, I find them in general disheartening.
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:30 PM   #50
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Re

I agree that it allows for everyone to lose there masks which one would figure allows people to truly communicate but finding someone you can hold a conversation with still seems few and far between in my opinion.maybe it is me????
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