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Old 11-04-2012, 06:34 PM   #1
MsQuote
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Writing Erotica: The Secret Hobby

I wrote a blog post about Writing Erotica: The Secret Hobby. I'm still curious to know from other writers who in their live know about their writing. It's something I hold very close to the vest in my life. My family is very conservative, uptight and repressed about sex. It would definitely cause problems if they knew. I know some of my friends would be very uncomfortable with me if they knew.

Does anyone in your family and do your friends know you write erotica. If so, how did you approach them about it and what were their reactions?
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:36 PM   #2
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I wrote a blog post about Writing Erotica: The Secret Hobby. I'm still curious to know from other writers who in their live know about their writing. It's something I hold very close to the vest in my life. My family is very conservative, uptight and repressed about sex. It would definitely cause problems if they knew. I know some of my friends would be very uncomfortable with me if they knew.

Does anyone in your family and do your friends know you write erotica. If so, how did you approach them about it and what were their reactions?
One does not reveal such things, even to trusted friends.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:42 PM   #3
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Some people know. Very few of those who know the real me have actually read my stories with the notable exception of those I have met at UK Lit get-togethers.

Some years ago I attended a local creative writing class. I told the tutor about Literotica and my identity as oggbashan. She read about thirty of my then submitted stories and told me that she was shocked by some of the content.

But she read every one of them to the end.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:43 PM   #4
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I wrote a blog post about Writing Erotica: The Secret Hobby. I'm still curious to know from other writers who in their live know about their writing. It's something I hold very close to the vest in my life. My family is very conservative, uptight and repressed about sex. It would definitely cause problems if they knew. I know some of my friends would be very uncomfortable with me if they knew.

Does anyone in your family and do your friends know you write erotica. If so, how did you approach them about it and what were their reactions?
At first I had problems telling people what I wrote, but then I realized what a huge market there is for erotica and stopped being "embarrassed" to tell people. Then I just started telling people "I write smut!"

Only about half my family knows. The half who don't know are, like yours, ultra conservative, and very religious. They'd frown upon it. Plus, I don't think they'd be too pleased to know I used their last name as my last name in my pen name.

The rest of my family who knows supports me. As do most of my friends. Although, most of my friends admit they don't read the kind of stuff I write, they don't have issues with me writing it. I even have a "fan club" at my job, and I've given out freebies (and a few signed print books) to them for showing me their support and buying my stuff.

My dad was my biggest supporter and my beta reader before he passed away. It was mostly because of him that I found Literotica and re-discovered my love of writing.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:49 PM   #5
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I'm never telling anyone because writing erotica is a wierd thing to do.

Even if I wrote sci-fi stories, or dramas, on website, I would still keep it as my little secret hobby.

I'm very proud of my stories though, and it's a huge thrill that so many people take the time to read them.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:01 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by MsQuote View Post
I wrote a blog post about Writing Erotica: The Secret Hobby. I'm still curious to know from other writers who in their live know about their writing. It's something I hold very close to the vest in my life. My family is very conservative, uptight and repressed about sex. It would definitely cause problems if they knew. I know some of my friends would be very uncomfortable with me if they knew.

Does anyone in your family and do your friends know you write erotica. If so, how did you approach them about it and what were their reactions?
My partner is my first reader/editor. My girlfriend and her girlfriend are both enthusiastic readers, and about a dozen of my other friends are subscribed to the blog where I used to post stuff before I set up shop here.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:05 PM   #7
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:20 PM   #8
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My mom knows I write but not what. I would tell her though.It's just never come up. Sex isn't a topic discussed with my family.

Beyond her most others, who know I write,know what I write. I tell them, I actually like to see the reactions I get.

One guy I've worked with for about six years learned recently. His reactions was.

"You a weird fucker you know that?"

I had to look at him and laugh.

"You just figuring that out? I put on armor and fight for fun. I get dressed up in medieval clothes and get drunk around bonfires watching belly dancers."

"That's what i said..you a weird fucker!"

lol.

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Old 11-04-2012, 07:20 PM   #9
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I have mentioned it in the course of conversation to family and friends, but I get either odd looks or shrugs.

I also post non-erotic stories on other sites. I mention them and I get the same reaction.

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Old 11-04-2012, 07:29 PM   #10
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:39 PM   #11
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My immediate family knows I write erotica, with the exception of my brother. They don't read my stories but they are happy that I have finally taken up writing as a hobby (considering I hated writing most of my life) and are proud that my stories are receiving generally positive reactions from my readers.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:46 PM   #12
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Another one with a sexually repressed family. There is no member of my family, including my partner who is also sexually repressed, with knowledge of my erotica. They know I write, but I am also attempting to break into another genre, so that's what we discuss.

There are a few of my friends in the theatre world who know, and that only came up because of the wild conversations we get into after rehearsals and in the dressing room. They all know that my man doesn't know, and will guard the secret. Some of them have read a few of my stories and say they've enjoyed them, so that's nice.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:52 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by michchick98 View Post
At first I had problems telling people what I wrote, but then I realized what a huge market there is for erotica and stopped being "embarrassed" to tell people. Then I just started telling people "I write smut!"

Only about half my family knows. The half who don't know are, like yours, ultra conservative, and very religious. They'd frown upon it. Plus, I don't think they'd be too pleased to know I used their last name as my last name in my pen name.

The rest of my family who knows supports me. As do most of my friends. Although, most of my friends admit they don't read the kind of stuff I write, they don't have issues with me writing it. I even have a "fan club" at my job, and I've given out freebies (and a few signed print books) to them for showing me their support and buying my stuff.

My dad was my biggest supporter and my beta reader before he passed away. It was mostly because of him that I found Literotica and re-discovered my love of writing.
I think I'd tell some people if and when I get something published and it gets some good feedback an if I made some money for it. But for now it's just a hobby that I share with my lover. Some of my stories are based on conversations and times we've had together, which is a fun way to share the love. He's written some stories about us, too. They're the most beautiful and awesome gifts I've ever received. The second biggest thrill I get out of writing erotica is when someone I don't know really enjoyed my story.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:54 PM   #14
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... One guy I've worked with for about six years learned recently. His reactions was.

"You a weird fucker you know that?"

I had to look at him and laugh.

"You just figuring that out? I put on armor and fight for fun. I get dressed up in medieval clothes and get drunk around bonfires watching belly dancers."

"That's what i said..you a weird fucker!"

lol.

M.S.Tarot
Ha! I would take that as quite the compliment!
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:03 PM   #15
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I've been writing erotica for decades, I was VERY underage when I published my first short story. It has been a great release for my daily stresses. It has led me to a few very lucky women's beds. But more recently, as I've entered married life it has receded back into the shadows. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed to express my sexuality in my writing. It is a very sensitive process to me, and it's really one of the only times I can be completely vulnerable. I don't invite people in my daily life to that side, simply because I'm not comfortable with them being that close to me. My wife doesn't even read my erotica.

So it certainly is a secret hobby for me, though only in a backhanded way. I want every person in the world to read the narrative of my sexuality, EXCEPT my family and friends.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:16 PM   #16
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Only my partner knows

The only person who knows is my partner. He reads my stuff before it is posted and encourages me when I'm in a bit of writer's block, like right now.

I wouldn't tell anyone else. I was at a friend's house and she had 50 Shades of Gray out of her coffee table, but I still wouldn't tell her.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:20 PM   #17
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I started writing in my late 40's. Now I'm approaching 66 and I don't care who knows what i write. It comes up in conversation ever so often and I love the shocked looks I get when I tell them i write porn, i mean, erotica.

The only people who have a problem with that is the legal department at the mainstream publishing company that publish my books. They tried to make me close out my Lit account and pull all my stories. It took me and 3 IT people to finally get it through their heads that it didn't matter if i did. It was already on the internet and there was no way to get rid of it.

Luckily my books sold enough that they keep publishing them and keep telling the lawyers to shut up.

I do try to keep my mainstream pen name completely separate from my name here and I have been pretty successful at it. The only exception came at a book signing in Dallas where a couple of ladies from a Litogether showed up. We all had a good laugh about it over beers later.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:22 PM   #18
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I've been writing erotica for decades, I was VERY underage when I published my first short story. It has been a great release for my daily stresses. It has led me to a few very lucky women's beds. But more recently, as I've entered married life it has receded back into the shadows. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed to express my sexuality in my writing. It is a very sensitive process to me, and it's really one of the only times I can be completely vulnerable. I don't invite people in my daily life to that side, simply because I'm not comfortable with them being that close to me. My wife doesn't even read my erotica.

So it certainly is a secret hobby for me, though only in a backhanded way. I want every person in the world to read the narrative of my sexuality, EXCEPT my family and friends.
I have to agree with writing erotica as letting yourself be vulnerable.

Why is it that your wife doesn't read your erotica? Is it because she doesn't know you write or because she's not interested in reading your work?

I understand what you mean about not wanting your friends and family to know about your writing. As I mentioned in another post, some of my stories are inspired by times my lover and I have shared with each other. Even if my friends didn't know that, I think it would still be TMI. Still, there are many stories that a completely fictional I think I could share with them if I had the guts to do so.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:49 PM   #19
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I have to agree with writing erotica as letting yourself be vulnerable.

Why is it that your wife doesn't read your erotica? Is it because she doesn't know you write or because she's not interested in reading your work?

I understand what you mean about not wanting your friends and family to know about your writing. As I mentioned in another post, some of my stories are inspired by times my lover and I have shared with each other. Even if my friends didn't know that, I think it would still be TMI. Still, there are many stories that a completely fictional I think I could share with them if I had the guts to do so.
Honestly, I would LOVE if my wife read my erotica. I would write more for her, as that is my true motivation (writing the naughty fantasies people are to polite to say). What little she's read just didn't interest her.

I have written a few about my life experiences, but I find them to be much less entertaining that my fiction. Of course, every bit of fiction includes some part of fact.

At times I've wanted to just come out and tell everyone that I am an erotica writer and proud of it. But really, I would rather that discovery be made (if it happens) and not have to force that part of myself into their lives. In other words, allow them to still think of me as the innocent kid they know and love.
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Old 11-04-2012, 09:30 PM   #20
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I'm a very secretive good little witch. My erotica is just one of many secrets I keep.
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Old 11-05-2012, 01:54 AM   #21
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I started writing in my late 40's. Now I'm approaching 66 and I don't care who knows what i write. It comes up in conversation ever so often and I love the shocked looks I get when I tell them i write porn, i mean, erotica.

The only people who have a problem with that is the legal department at the mainstream publishing company that publish my books. They tried to make me close out my Lit account and pull all my stories. It took me and 3 IT people to finally get it through their heads that it didn't matter if i did. It was already on the internet and there was no way to get rid of it.

Luckily my books sold enough that they keep publishing them and keep telling the lawyers to shut up.

I do try to keep my mainstream pen name completely separate from my name here and I have been pretty successful at it. The only exception came at a book signing in Dallas where a couple of ladies from a Litogether showed up. We all had a good laugh about it over beers later.
Those lawyers at your publisher's probably don't know their publishing history all that well.

I've found a number of established genre writers used to write "dirty books" back in the 1950's, 60's & 70's. For example, Lawrence Block revealed recently on his blog that he published several books of lesbian erotica under a pseudonym. Which he wrote for money: for some reason mainstream publishers will only publish one book by an author a year, no matter how prolific the writer is, & even back then one book's advance might not cover living expenses until the next book is accepted for publication a year or two later. A potboiler book with a sexy plot could bring in a quick $5000, which a generation ago went a lot further than it does now.

But then lawyers worry about the worst case & its effects for the person who signs their paychecks, & not about what reasonably may be expected to happen.
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Old 11-05-2012, 02:07 AM   #22
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Only two people in real life. Both are redheads...I had amazing sex with both of them...they're both still good friends of mine! It's just really hard to tell people...especially considering the content. People have a hard time distinguishing that its just fantasy. It's hard to confide in real people.
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Old 11-05-2012, 03:24 AM   #23
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Hell no. I even live in perpetual fear that someone I know will read my stuff and figure out that it's mine (it would actually be pretty easy).
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Old 11-05-2012, 03:59 AM   #24
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My wife knows. She proofread some of my stories.

I've written a couple of non-erotic stories under a different name as a cover in case I seem "too knowledgeable" about writing, publishing, dialogue, etc.

It seems fucked-up to me that we have to cringe under the cover of anonymity because we write about people having sex (a perfectly legal and indeed enjoyable activity), but other authors who write about murder, crime, wars, etc. can be open about what they do. Ah well, whatever.
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Old 11-05-2012, 04:22 AM   #25
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My husband knows- he an I proof read each other's work. Apart from that only my best friend knows that I write, let alone write erotica. I tend to keep it to myself to avoid questions!
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