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Old 12-06-2012, 04:24 PM   #1
Snakeeyes91
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How do I entice a married man?

Bit of a touchy moral subject for some, but I'm 21 and have become friends with a married guy in his 40s. His kids are grown up but his wife is lovely. He flirts with me a little but what are some subtle ways to show I'm interested too without making a fool of myself? Any constructive advice please? Xx
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Old 12-06-2012, 04:33 PM   #2
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Thank you
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Old 12-06-2012, 04:34 PM   #3
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You don't! Karma is a real bitch...keep your distance.
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Old 12-06-2012, 04:48 PM   #4
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You two talk often? Does it ever end up being more than just casual flirting?

Maybe ask him if he's ever cheated if you feel like you two are close enough to ask that kind of question. That'll let you guage how he feels about the prospect now if he's ever done it in the past. Gotta be careful though - that kind of question could throw a wet blanket on whatever fire you two have burning at the moment.

I dunno. I've never seduced a married man. Come to think of it, I've never seduced a man at all. I would guess that you'd do it very much the same way that you'd do it with any other man.

Anyway, good luck and I hope he doesn't wreck his marriage if it's a good one.
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Old 12-06-2012, 04:56 PM   #5
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We talk almost every day, it's mostly casual flirting but I can feel the electricity that I've not felt for a while, I don't want to set out to hurt anyone. It's a bit of a dreamers idea to think he'd leave her and cheating isn't my thing, that's why I really want to make sure it's mutual fiest
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Old 12-06-2012, 05:03 PM   #6
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It does sound as if you know what you are thinking about doing but I would be oh so cautious. Are you aware that the legal system could find you guilty of alienation of affection? You could actually be sued by his wife. I would be very careful also about any promises he might make to you.
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Old 12-06-2012, 05:04 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Snakeeyes91 View Post
Bit of a touchy moral subject for some, but I'm 21 and have become friends with a married guy in his 40s. His kids are grown up but his wife is lovely. He flirts with me a little but what are some subtle ways to show I'm interested too without making a fool of myself? Any constructive advice please? Xx
It depends on what you're interested in. If you think you're going to "entice" him away from his wife, you're probably setting yourself up for disappointment. As a married man myself who has made the bad decision in the past to play around outside my marriage, I can tell you that most married men that do it are looking for some "strange" and a bit of nasty sex that they generally don't get from their wife. It can be highly erotic but it's risky business and I learned the hard way that it can mess up your life.

If on the other hand, you are just interested in some raunchy play time with this guy, then the easiest way to "break the ice" is to just basically tell him that. If he's the type who also wants to play, he'll probably enjoy the attention and the erotic excitement. However, like I said, if you can't compartmentalize your life and keep your emotional distance, and enjoy it for the physical pleasure alone, such relationships can lead to hurt, pain, anger, revenge, etc. If you're friends and family find out, they'll probably think you're a cheap slut that has no regard for marriage. If you don't mind them thinking that and don't mind being pushed away after maybe 5-6 months of raunchy fucking and sucking with a, "Gee babe, it's been great, but this isn't really me and I need to think of the long term. I really think you're special, but I'm old enough to be your father and it's really not good for the long term. I'll always think of you fondly and you'll always have a special place in my memory, but it's really best if you find someone your own age and settle down."

Sorry if this makes you feel cheap, but trust me, most guys in their 40's would only be interested in a "kid" of 21 for one reason. If that's what you want too, good luck.
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Old 12-06-2012, 05:05 PM   #8
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Not in this country thankfully lol
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Old 12-06-2012, 05:06 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Snakeeyes91 View Post
We talk almost every day, it's mostly casual flirting but I can feel the electricity that I've not felt for a while, I don't want to set out to hurt anyone. It's a bit of a dreamers idea to think he'd leave her and cheating isn't my thing, that's why I really want to make sure it's mutual fiest
You are treading on dangerois ground, any man would be flattered by your flirting and attention. So is it just something you want to do, to see if you can intice him and end his marriage. If you need to practise, Im free and have the experiance.
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Old 12-06-2012, 05:08 PM   #10
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Thanks amofiga, I know it needs a lot of serious thought, I think I've titled it wrong really. But it's given me a lot to think about before making a move of any sort unlike most at my age I'm fully aware that I know almost nothing, lol.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:22 PM   #11
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A few women at Literotica will be able to help you, but I believe most of them frequent the Playground, not the How-to area. One you can specifically private message is [deleted], she is well versed in the seduction of married men.
In case you're not already aware, KierstH12 has a vendetta against the poster she named and is trying to cause her grief here, so PMing would NOT be a good idea.

KierstH12, I have no investment in your feud, but even if you've been badly wronged, trying to drag in unwary third parties to harass your rival is kinda shitty.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:37 AM   #12
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Thanks amofiga, I know it needs a lot of serious thought, I think I've titled it wrong really. But it's given me a lot to think about before making a move of any sort unlike most at my age I'm fully aware that I know almost nothing, lol.
A very wise statement, we are all fully aware and at the end of it all we know nothing, Sometimes the thoughts in our heads rules the feeling in our hearts, and we can do nothing about it.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:41 AM   #13
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So you have your bonk (probably easier than you think) and he rocks up a week later saying "I'm so in love with you - I have left my wife and kids..." - could happen

Last edited by NightL : 12-07-2012 at 04:44 AM.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:47 AM   #14
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You might be looking to deep at this as well. I flirt all the time it is just my nature, but I don't mean anything by it. For me it is just innocent flirting not me going to step out on my wife and it took years for me to realize that I as doing it.

The half of the coin is you do not know what the aspects of his relationship dynamic is with his wife. In this day an age there are so many open and ect relationships that you never know.
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:57 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Snakeeyes91 View Post
We talk almost every day, it's mostly casual flirting but I can feel the electricity that I've not felt for a while, I don't want to set out to hurt anyone. It's a bit of a dreamers idea to think he'd leave her and cheating isn't my thing, that's why I really want to make sure it's mutual fiest
If "anyone" includes his wife, you cannot pursue him and not hurt someone.
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:03 AM   #16
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So you have your bonk (probably easier than you think) and he rocks up a week later saying "I'm so in love with you - I have left my wife and kids..." - could happen
Yep....could happen.....so do earthquakes and hurricanes and lots of other things that occur fairly randomly. From my experiences in my 67 years on this earth, I'd say that in the majority of cases, when married men mess around with much younger single women, the motivation isn't often leaving the marriage at great financial and emotional expense to try to start a life (at reduced financial worth) with a woman who will be at her sexual peak and looking to mess around herself with younger men when the man is at an age when he's stocking up on Viagra and Cialis and falling asleep on the sofa watching Monday night football. Based on my limited personal statistics, I know personally for sure of 7 married men (including myself) who have had affairs with either single or married women. Of them, one divorced his wife and married the "mistress" primarily because he got caught and his wife threw him out. Call me stupid, but I'd say that a single woman betting that a married man 25 years her senior will leave his wife to marry her is about the same as betting on a trifecta of long shots.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:00 PM   #17
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Last edited by KierstH12 : 12-14-2012 at 11:19 AM.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:20 PM   #18
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I agree that if you are not wanting to hurt anyone then there is nothing you can do. It is highly unlikely that you can have a threesome and then the three of you live happily ever after. Since a threesome isn't even what you are looking for then it is virtually impossible for someone not to get hurt.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:03 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Snakeeyes91 View Post
Bit of a touchy moral subject for some, but I'm 21 and have become friends with a married guy in his 40s. His kids are grown up but his wife is lovely. He flirts with me a little but what are some subtle ways to show I'm interested too without making a fool of myself? Any constructive advice please? Xx
If he's flirting he's probably testing the waters with you. Mostly all good points raised in the thread so I'll add my two cents. As a man that flirts with women frequently, if I were the guy you're talking about, I would be flirting with you to see if you're interested in joining me in a threesome.

If you think you'd enjoy that, next time he flirts with you just ask him if that's the way he and his wife play. To be fair, if this is the case he should be more direct about it, but who knows, maybe they're just getting started.

Regardless, you should find out what it is and make a decision about what to do.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:19 PM   #20
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I am not dragging anybody into a feud. She asked for advice and I know of a person who has expertise in this area. The occasions I have contacted [deleted] she has been polite. I have every reason to believe she would be polite and helpful to the OP.
Let's look through your recent posting history and see what we find, hm?

November 30, you linked to a "SLUT" necklace as a "present" for her. http://forum.literotica.com/showthre...1#post42649611

October 21: "Too bad it was removed. I understand [deleted] was getting very nervous knowing she had been discovered as his mistress. She knew she could not hide forever.

October: about a dozen posts made solely for the sake of mentioning her name (sometimes by misspelling other words to turn them into her name), in among a bunch of others about cheating and unfaithfulness.

I can see that you're hurting, and it sounds like you have reason, but you're behaving like a creepy stalker here. That's not going to assist the healing process.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:33 PM   #21
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Sometimes, people, flirting is just harmless flirting. I am a bit of a flirt but I have no intention or desire to have sex with every man or woman I flirt with.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:35 PM   #22
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I would proceed with caution like others above you and others might get hurt. No reason why you could not probably talk to the guy about some of this dilemma....but again like others he may be thinking one thing....score!!!....you might be thinking another....i want to be with him emotionally and sexually....just be careful.

When people are married or involved always someone else out there that could grab your heart its just natural and easy to get into it with them...just have to think about the others and how they are affected too. In a perfect world we would all just get along.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:41 PM   #23
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I am not dragging anybody into a feud. She asked for advice and I know of a person who has expertise in this area. The occasions I have contacted Ellapure she has been polite. I have every reason to believe she would be polite and helpful to the OP.
Probably so.

Snakeeyes91, it might be a good idea to talk to someone who has been there, done that and felt the sting of getting caught. Right now you're thinking only of what you might be able to do to get your kicks, and it seems exciting, but you are not thinking about the potential consequences.

If talking to someone who has "been there done that" is not enough, you might be enlightened by reading the story of ms_intrigue. Simply do a search and you'll find more than enough to make you wonder what the hell you were thinking. It is clear proof that there can be VERY serious consequences to going after a married man.

If you want to keep your life nice and sane and comfortable, stay away from the married men and find a man who is actually available.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:13 PM   #24
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You might be looking to deep at this as well. I flirt all the time it is just my nature, but I don't mean anything by it. For me it is just innocent flirting not me going to step out on my wife and it took years for me to realize that I as doing it.

The half of the coin is you do not know what the aspects of his relationship dynamic is with his wife. In this day an age there are so many open and ect relationships that you never know.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^This

Added point, if the relationship is truly open, he won't mind if you ask his wife for confirmation of that.
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:09 PM   #25
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You don't! Karma is a real bitch...keep your distance.
Ditto! Some things just aren't worth it in the long run.
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