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Old 04-12-2013, 09:51 PM   #1
Kevin29
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Women Help/Advice Needed

Hi

I am wondering if the women of the forum can offer me some advice.

I am current in a relationship but have been flirting and receiving pics from an old friend.

We are both attached but I think there could be scope for some adult fun with no commitment.

She is very open about her sex life and boasts about her sex drive, doesnt mind me complementing her on her looks and assets but I dont get the feeling she would want to meet, although when it has been mentioned she has said she would see if she could get away for the night.

Is she just having some flirty fun or is there intention there to take it further.

Thanks in advance
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Old 04-12-2013, 11:17 PM   #2
JtohisPB
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In my opinion, if she is bragging about her sex drive she is at the very least considering the idea of you two hooking up. From the little you've written, despite you saying you don't think she actually wants to meet, I think it's likely she does.

I would also encourage you to proceed with caution. Is this encounter worth risking your current relationship? Should you just end the current relationship, then? You say "attached," not "married." Still, committed is committed. Commit to the people you want to be with and not cheat on, IMO.

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Old 04-12-2013, 11:26 PM   #3
Kevin29
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Thanks for the reply

Yes been a member for a while but never contributed....until now

Yeah she does boast about it, and how unexciting her current sex life is. It will also only ever be the random hook up for sex only.

She sent me some pictures, im sure you can imagine what sort so I just wanted to see what women think of the situation as sometimes I get the feeling she isnt interested.. Mixed feeling I suppose of what is going on.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:55 AM   #4
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Well Kevin, I think if you want to know you're going to have to ask her. I agree with J, she seems interested but perhaps is testing the waters so to speak. Maybe she wants to know your reaction first, but if she isn't straight up then you'll have to do the asking.

Before doing anything, make sure you're ready for any unintended consequences such as your gf or her so finding out etc.
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Old 04-13-2013, 09:08 AM   #5
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The only way you'll find out for sure is to ask the question or make the date.

It sounds like she is interested, but like everyone suggests....be careful what you wish for, and make sure it is worth the risks.
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Old 04-13-2013, 09:24 AM   #6
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Kevin - tonight I am a big hairy bloke looking for his pony (don't ask - too complex to explain) - flirting is flirting and relationships are special. Choose.
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Old 04-14-2013, 02:25 AM   #7
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What you really have to ask yourself-- are you willing to cheat on your SO?

First, get the answer to that.

Then you can be receptive to this woman's advances-- or tell her you are not available.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:16 AM   #8
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It seems like he is very willing to cheat else he wouldnt be here.

I feel sorry for the girlfriend. Hopefully he will do the right thing and break up with her so that she can find a decent person to have a relationship with.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:21 AM   #9
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She could be enjoying the attention of someone that is not her partner. Maybe she is not hearing how special and attractive she is from her partner or she could have caught him out with someone else and is getting back at him.

She could be one of those people who gets off on doing things with guys in relationships.

She might have every intention of getting away for the night to do stuff with you.

No idea, too many ifs and buts or maybes to really answer properly.
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Old 04-14-2013, 10:56 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonatatre View Post
It seems like he is very willing to cheat else he wouldnt be here.

I feel sorry for the girlfriend. Hopefully he will do the right thing and break up with her so that she can find a decent person to have a relationship with.
Think you are on the wrong site if you think im willing to cheat because I am on here.

I am in a happy relationship but the opportunity for a bit of fun as arisen and I am tempted.

Her reasons for what she is doing are her own.
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Old 04-14-2013, 10:57 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by kiwi_submissive View Post
She could be enjoying the attention of someone that is not her partner. Maybe she is not hearing how special and attractive she is from her partner or she could have caught him out with someone else and is getting back at him.

She could be one of those people who gets off on doing things with guys in relationships.

She might have every intention of getting away for the night to do stuff with you.

No idea, too many ifs and buts or maybes to really answer properly.

First point is 100% accurate, she doesnt and you hit the nail on the head as I too think she is looking for the attention of being wanted/chased.

I suppose only time will tell.
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Old 04-14-2013, 11:21 AM   #12
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I was contacted recently via facebook by an old lover whom I've not spoken to for many years. He was bemoaning his current relationship and wanted us to meet even though I made no secret of the fact that I'm married.

I must admit that I enjoyed the flattery and entertained a daydream of meeting again and having a no commitment fling.

But I was sensible enough to realise that it could never happen. The risks were far too great. And how could I be sure that a one off fling would be the tasteful fun I imagined rather than the sordid reality it could actually be?

It's a very big risk you are considering and there is no way you can be sure the fun will be worth the potential loss.
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Old 04-14-2013, 12:14 PM   #13
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Hi LallyH

I suppose what you say is correct, although the chances of being caught are slim due to the distance and the change of us ever accidently bumping into each other which is 0%.

When we talk its the same situation, both want to meet for a drink and a good night out and if something happens it happens but I dont know if the flirting is for flattery only or if I am seeing too much into it. Trouble is she wont answer a straight question which indicates flatterty. Just dont want to get hopes up.
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Old 04-14-2013, 05:07 PM   #14
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Smile

i presume you would be fine for your s/o to be doing the same with someone from her past?
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Old 04-14-2013, 05:47 PM   #15
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i presume you would be fine for your s/o to be doing the same with someone from her past?
Not at all, she may well have done and I dont know. I doubt it though.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:03 PM   #16
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Not at all, she may well have done and I dont know. I doubt it though.
You lost me here --- is it no you would not be ok with your gf having some fun on the side? If that's the case then nerts to you.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:16 PM   #17
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You lost me here --- is it no you would not be ok with your gf having some fun on the side? If that's the case then nerts to you.
Of course I would object.

Not sure what nerts is.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:24 PM   #18
Cathleen
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Of course I would object.

Not sure what nerts is.
Interesting, it's ok for you to seek sex elsewhere but she can't. Nice character trait you have.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:31 PM   #19
Kevin29
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Interesting, it's ok for you to seek sex elsewhere but she can't. Nice character trait you have.
I never said it was OK but sometimes temptation gets the better of us.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:39 PM   #20
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I never said it was OK but sometimes temptation gets the better of us.
No, temptation is just that, temptation. You don't have to act on it. But do whatever you think is right for you.

I just think it's best to get out of a relationship before messing with personal integrity, and another's feelings. Doesn't always happen I know...that damn human condition.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:50 AM   #21
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I never said it was OK but sometimes temptation gets the better of us.
No. Erroneous.

You are a human being with free will. You're not a robot or a slave to mysterious forces beyond your control. If you cheat on her, it's of your own doing. If you make that choice, it's YOU...MAKING THAT CHOICE.

You're free to choose. You know this. Own your shit and don't cop out with that "Temptation got the best of me, OOPS!" bull.

If you're going to cheat, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. I hope some side pussy would be worth the karmic cost of destroying your partner's trust, love and faith in you.
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Old 04-15-2013, 12:27 PM   #22
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No. Erroneous.

You are a human being with free will. You're not a robot or a slave to mysterious forces beyond your control. If you cheat on her, it's of your own doing. If you make that choice, it's YOU...MAKING THAT CHOICE.

You're free to choose. You know this. Own your shit and don't cop out with that "Temptation got the best of me, OOPS!" bull.

If you're going to cheat, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. I hope some side pussy would be worth the karmic cost of destroying your partner's trust, love and faith in you.
Steps have already been taken to employ the "one thing led to another" or "all of a sudden / next thing you know my penis fell into her vagina" defense.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin29 View Post
Hi LallyH

I suppose what you say is correct, although the chances of being caught are slim due to the distance and the change of us ever accidently bumping into each other which is 0%.

When we talk its the same situation, both want to meet for a drink and a good night out and if something happens it happens but I dont know if the flirting is for flattery only or if I am seeing too much into it. Trouble is she wont answer a straight question which indicates flatterty. Just dont want to get hopes up.

Kevin, it looks as though you are looking for a way to have your bit o' cupcake on the side and keep cake at home. Many here will not support this idea. Some will, but many won't.

"Old friend", "both attached", "Only be a random hook up for sex", "temptation"...blah, blah, blah. This isn't a job opportunity that has landed in your lap while you are currently employed. It involves real lives, with real people who have ideas and feelings and values as to what a "relationship" is.

If your idea of relationship differs from your partner's, cut her loose and go and explore your old friend, and her friends too if you want.

To save you the time and trouble of starting another thread about whether or not your girl's ideas / feelings / relationship beliefs and values agree with your actions or intentions, I will offer you this:

If what you are doing or thinking about doing would hurt or upset the other in your relationship should you tell her or she find out, then her ideas and yours differ.

And before you explain how distance and being careful and discretion are all in play here, and she would never find out, I would put to you that you would know. And if you truly respected, loved and cared for this person, such a betrayal really should not be an option.
If it wouldn't bother you at all, go back to my suggestion above and let her go. She deserves to be with someone who would be bothered by even the idea of this, and you can go forth and piston your peni into any old friend that'll have you.
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Old 04-16-2013, 10:55 AM   #23
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So basically, you're asking if the poontang is a sure bet before you commit (hehe) to cheating on your partner.

No, no it's not.

Unasked for opinion: if your main concern is "Can I really get some without getting caught?" then your relationship is broken, dude. This isn't temptation getting the best of you. This here is premeditated risk assessment.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:08 PM   #24
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Sounds like you want us to convince you it's OK...... well it's not....... unless you break up with your gf........ in which case good luck with the possible fun, hope it was worth it (sounds like if you're considering this you'd be better out of current relationship anyway and need the prod).
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:53 PM   #25
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So basically, you're asking if the poontang is a sure bet before you commit (hehe) to cheating on your partner.
AKA "wingwalking", where the rule is to make sure you have a new handhold before you let go of the old one.
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