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Old 01-17-2017, 03:28 PM   #1
thewriterjames
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Thinking about a 2nd Story

Hi,

I'm thinking of writing another story(ies) continuing my previous work. That was my first story ever (and I haven't written since) and I would like some feedback on it re what works well, what doesn't, etc. Would someone mind reading and commenting here? I'd really appreciate it!

https://www.literotica.com/s/james-a...-story-of-love
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Old 01-17-2017, 05:17 PM   #2
thewriterjames
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Wow. Someone must have read the request and then decided to post some rather harsh feedback publicly on the story board... anonymously. At least, the timing is odd as I've gotten almost no comments in the last year and just got one this afternoon.

I get that it could be tightened up by using an editor. I didn't know that when I posted it. But some of the criticisms seem to be reaching. Regardless, I'll try to do better next time. Still, the most recent comment didn't seem to be designed to be constructive at all but rather only negative.
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Old 01-17-2017, 08:19 PM   #3
Dream_Operator
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I read the beginning. The opening is really slow -- tons of backstory and description that don't advance the plot. Nothing really drew me in and made me want to read the rest.

That said, some people enjoy this style of writing.

I wouldn't worry about what the anonymous poster said, and you can always delete the comment if you don't like the tone or think the criticism was fair. Unfortunately, when you post something on the board, you paint a target on your back. It's even worse if you post in the Politics thread.

I would encourage you to keep writing. The story was well-received and highly rated, so you must be doing something right.
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Old 01-18-2017, 12:31 AM   #4
yukonnights
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I also took a quick peek. I skimmed it enough to say that I think you write just fine. And as was said above, it was very well received. All of the comments seemed positive as well. It is longer than one I would choose, but it didn't lack for views...so whatever works best for you in regard to length. If it's going to be a continuation, perhaps you should make it the second part of a series. (I screwed up my first two submissions which were about the same people...I know better now.)

Best Wishes
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