Originally Posted by sr71plt
The writing seems wooden to me. Maybe it's that most of the sentences are short and choppy. I don't get any sense of emotion or range in the writing, so it got monotonous for me. The writing is technically correct in most instances, but it's not elegant writing. I did an "oh, yeah, right" on anyone being dumb enough to pay even twins to have one sex session for $100,000. For $100,000 you should be able to buy them as permanent sex slaves. And then I didn't see any indication they collected the money, so that got a snort too. I don't read series that weren't completed before posting started and thus all parts follow a known story arc, so, no, I wouldn't continue reading this.
I think you'll get considerable razzing (and I see there's already a comment on this) for putting MM in any category but Gay Male. But maybe that was the site editor's decision and not yours. It still invites attack, even if it shouldn't.
Thank you for the response.
Wooden writing: the first chapter is wooden and mechanical because it is the twins first time together and my first time writing incest. As the stakes get higher and the emotions change so does the writing, although I do tend to write in short sentences. I am assuming you only read the first chapter?
The money thing, is overblown because this is a young billionaire who has endless cashflow and knows nothing about what an escort should cost him. He sees a set of twins who have a no-touching clause in their contract and throws money at them to get them to do what he wants. Maybe I should have indicated that better but the key to the story is the twins, not their clients. Also needed the dollar amount to be so huge they could not refuse it.
When I posted the story I selected the Incest/Taboo section but specifically indicated gay male action. I left it up to the site editors to change the category at their discretion. They didn't.