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Old 09-06-2012, 08:00 PM   #1
Soccerguy1297
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Are Married Men Less Desirable?

I've been on the site for a while now, it all came about through various searches online seeking advice, and stories from guys like myself. I had recently come out as a married bisexual man (my wife knows, and is bi as well - part of which is what made it so easy to come out to her). She is more bi in the sense that she believes "spiritually" that all men and women are bisexual. I highly doubt she'd ever do anything with another women - at least while we are married, although I feel as though I would support it. My wife is not as sexual as I am, so she doesn't quite look at it the way I do.

Here's my question. I'm a young (33), good looking, in-shape, clean, laid back guy who is not looking for anything serious - I have the love of my life and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, however, I also have desires and needs that she simply cannot fulfill. I have talked with a few guys on here and they've all been great to talk to, awesome guys who are probably really cool people. The problem is that they get in touch and are all about getting to know each other (which is exactly what I'm looking for), however, they then seem to back down a bit or drop off the face of the earth. So...Are bisexual married guys less desirable, or considered too much of a "risk" because of the "wife factor?"

I cannot bring myself to put an add on CL, nor can I bring myself to respond to one, they are all way more aggressive than I want to start out with, and it just seems way too creepy (I've seen the stories on the news). I'm looking for more of a friendship with benefits type thing. I just find it strange that a guy like me has a hard time getting laid by a another guy, heck, us guys are supposed to be "easy." I AM picky and perhaps that's part of it, I don't know, just figured I'd throw it out there.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:13 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccerguy1297 View Post
I've been on the site for a while now, it all came about through various searches online seeking advice, and stories from guys like myself. I had recently come out as a married bisexual man (my wife knows, and is bi as well - part of which is what made it so easy to come out to her). She is more bi in the sense that she believes "spiritually" that all men and women are bisexual. I highly doubt she'd ever do anything with another women - at least while we are married, although I feel as though I would support it. My wife is not as sexual as I am, so she doesn't quite look at it the way I do.

Here's my question. I'm a young (33), good looking, in-shape, clean, laid back guy who is not looking for anything serious - I have the love of my life and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, however, I also have desires and needs that she simply cannot fulfill. I have talked with a few guys on here and they've all been great to talk to, awesome guys who are probably really cool people. The problem is that they get in touch and are all about getting to know each other (which is exactly what I'm looking for), however, they then seem to back down a bit or drop off the face of the earth. So...Are bisexual married guys less desirable, or considered too much of a "risk" because of the "wife factor?"

I cannot bring myself to put an add on CL, nor can I bring myself to respond to one, they are all way more aggressive than I want to start out with, and it just seems way too creepy (I've seen the stories on the news). I'm looking for more of a friendship with benefits type thing. I just find it strange that a guy like me has a hard time getting laid by a another guy, heck, us guys are supposed to be "easy." I AM picky and perhaps that's part of it, I don't know, just figured I'd throw it out there.

Thanks for listening.
I think its just the nature of the internet that some people use it as a way of talking about stuff they'd never actually do. So, whilst people can seem very sincere online, when it comes down to it they are actually petrified of taking it further.

Maybe part of your problem is just that?

I dont think married men are intrinsically less attractive and I imagine for some it'd be a massive turn on. But, maybe an obvious problem if you're talking to a guy who in the back of his mind wants a relationship.
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:40 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Tiger1978 View Post
I think its just the nature of the internet that some people use it as a way of talking about stuff they'd never actually do. So, whilst people can seem very sincere online, when it comes down to it they are actually petrified of taking it further.

Maybe part of your problem is just that?

I dont think married men are intrinsically less attractive and I imagine for some it'd be a massive turn on. But, maybe an obvious problem if you're talking to a guy who in the back of his mind wants a relationship.
Thanks. Yeh, that's pretty much what I was thinking as well but was looking for some feedback. I'm not one of those guys that wants to just randomly hook up with a guy at the last minute to get a quick bj behind some dumpster or in a car (excuse the overdramatic analogy), however, I'm not looking for a romantic relationship either. I'm looking to build a safe, healthy friendship with a like-minded guy, who I am attracted to and vise versa, who I can fulfill my bi-desires with. Call it a fuck-buddy, friend with benefit, etc...doesn't matter. The bottom line is (no pun intended), that if I am going to go out on a limb with my own feelings, and take my own risks, it has to be with the right guy. I also completely understand how the internet can give people an outlet to either be somebody they aren't, or be who they ARE, but allow them to be more brash, or more outgoing than they would in person - it's natural, I've been there.

Thanks for the feedback.
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:43 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Soccerguy1297 View Post
Thanks. Yeh, that's pretty much what I was thinking as well but was looking for some feedback. I'm not one of those guys that wants to just randomly hook up with a guy at the last minute to get a quick bj behind some dumpster or in a car (excuse the overdramatic analogy), however, I'm not looking for a romantic relationship either. I'm looking to build a safe, healthy friendship with a like-minded guy, who I am attracted to and vise versa, who I can fulfill my bi-desires with. Call it a fuck-buddy, friend with benefit, etc...doesn't matter. The bottom line is (no pun intended), that if I am going to go out on a limb with my own feelings, and take my own risks, it has to be with the right guy. I also completely understand how the internet can give people an outlet to either be somebody they aren't, or be who they ARE, but allow them to be more brash, or more outgoing than they would in person - it's natural, I've been there.

Thanks for the feedback.
What you're describing isnt at all different from what i look for and what im sure many other guys look for.

I'm sure if you wrote that in an ad on gaydar or somewhere, you'd get lucky. I've not used Craigslist but I know there are sites where you wont necessarily just be offered an instant blowjob.

Good luck.
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:30 PM   #5
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well that sounds very much like me aside from the Bi wife because mine is not. one of the things that always is in the back of my mind is what happens if it goes wrong. what happens if my wife suddenly decides she isn't cool with it. and for me is the ever present what if I am just not into them I tend to be a very private person.
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Old 09-07-2012, 02:41 AM   #6
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If the wife is involved or knows it's not a problem. Otherwise you'll surely lose interest from folks who don't want to get involved in any drama.
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Old 09-07-2012, 08:56 AM   #7
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In simple terms your hunting for a friend with extras. There are plenty of ways to find what your looking for. CL is most likely your last choice. In my case...a buddy, that you can watch the game with, hunt, fish...helps each other out. even hang out with the families.... But...you also have time for those extras...
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Old 09-07-2012, 12:35 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klippert View Post
In simple terms your hunting for a friend with extras. There are plenty of ways to find what your looking for. CL is most likely your last choice. In my case...a buddy, that you can watch the game with, hunt, fish...helps each other out. even hang out with the families.... But...you also have time for those extras...
Exactly. Your phrasing of it in your last sentence sums it up perfectly! The thought of having that kind of friendship really turns me on.
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Old 09-07-2012, 01:48 PM   #9
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i see alot of people here and on CL asking for married men. so its more desireable i suppose
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Old 09-07-2012, 06:24 PM   #10
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Good topic

Sounds so very similar to my situation (except the wife part - my wife would be blown away if she thought/knew I was bi-curious). I desire all of the same things that you have written about. It would be nice to have a great, safe relationship with another guy who enjoys sex with me when we feel like it.

My ideal partner would be a married man. I guess I feel it's much safer and would be, hopefully, very discreet. My problem is that I am not out actively looking and would not use Craig's List. I would like to think that maybe I'll find the right connection here.
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Old 09-07-2012, 07:40 PM   #11
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Sounds so very similar to my situation (except the wife part - my wife would be blown away if she thought/knew I was bi-curious). I desire all of the same things that you have written about. It would be nice to have a great, safe relationship with another guy who enjoys sex with me when we feel like it.

My ideal partner would be a married man. I guess I feel it's much safer and would be, hopefully, very discreet. My problem is that I am not out actively looking and would not use Craig's List. I would like to think that maybe I'll find the right connection here.
That was exactly what I was hoping for, not all hope is lost yet.
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Old 09-07-2012, 11:15 PM   #12
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Exactly. Your phrasing of it in your last sentence sums it up perfectly! The thought of having that kind of friendship really turns me on.
thanks for the vote on my view of the situation....
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I luv watching amateur housewives
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http://amateurblogs.eroprofile.com/f...es/2013/41030/
http://www.eroprofile.com/galleries/movie/1479124
http://just.eroprofile.com/play/F1QGiYYkNgUEAAd
http://www.xhamster.com/movies/13092...made_game.html
http://www.eroprofile.com/galleries/movie/2219423
My favoirte G/G vids...(so far)
http://www.xvideos.com/video979068/d...e_st._michaels
http://just.eroprofile.com/play/LdMWNsTXRphh3ZW
http://xhamster.com/movies/567475/in..._lesbians.html
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Old 09-09-2012, 11:02 AM   #13
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For me a fellow married man would be the most desirable partner to live out my Bi fantasies with. Having someone who shares a healthy interest in women sets the basis for a common ground of mutual interests and experiences.
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Old 09-09-2012, 11:33 AM   #14
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I'd be friends with you if I lived in New England too! I am in the same position, I do not trust anyone on CL, if they have diseases they won't tell you, they'll probably more than likely lie to you if they do, you are just a nameless cock or ass or mouth to be filled, they don't want to know your name, they wouldn't care if they spread aids to someone they don't know. So disease is my biggest trust issue with craigslist. i wish I could find someone as a friend, then spring it on him that I want to swallow his cum after I find out if I can trust him or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccerguy1297 View Post
I've been on the site for a while now, it all came about through various searches online seeking advice, and stories from guys like myself. I had recently come out as a married bisexual man (my wife knows, and is bi as well - part of which is what made it so easy to come out to her). She is more bi in the sense that she believes "spiritually" that all men and women are bisexual. I highly doubt she'd ever do anything with another women - at least while we are married, although I feel as though I would support it. My wife is not as sexual as I am, so she doesn't quite look at it the way I do.

Here's my question. I'm a young (33), good looking, in-shape, clean, laid back guy who is not looking for anything serious - I have the love of my life and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, however, I also have desires and needs that she simply cannot fulfill. I have talked with a few guys on here and they've all been great to talk to, awesome guys who are probably really cool people. The problem is that they get in touch and are all about getting to know each other (which is exactly what I'm looking for), however, they then seem to back down a bit or drop off the face of the earth. So...Are bisexual married guys less desirable, or considered too much of a "risk" because of the "wife factor?"

I cannot bring myself to put an add on CL, nor can I bring myself to respond to one, they are all way more aggressive than I want to start out with, and it just seems way too creepy (I've seen the stories on the news). I'm looking for more of a friendship with benefits type thing. I just find it strange that a guy like me has a hard time getting laid by a another guy, heck, us guys are supposed to be "easy." I AM picky and perhaps that's part of it, I don't know, just figured I'd throw it out there.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 09-09-2012, 12:05 PM   #15
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I am a newly single 30 year old bisexual male recently out of a 5 year relationship, my ex said she was cool with my bisexuality for years but last month told me it was a deal breaker. I am open to talk if you want feel free to pm me, you are lucky if your wife really understands.
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:46 PM   #16
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My wife understands my bisexuality, she does not know that I am seeking an outlet to experience what I desire. I love her dearly, she just can't give me what I need right now, and finding somebody on here that wants to is a challenge as well. Oh well.

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I am a newly single 30 year old bisexual male recently out of a 5 year relationship, my ex said she was cool with my bisexuality for years but last month told me it was a deal breaker. I am open to talk if you want feel free to pm me, you are lucky if your wife really understands.
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:18 PM   #17
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My wife understands my bisexuality, she does not know that I am seeking an outlet to experience what I desire. I love her dearly, she just can't give me what I need right now, and finding somebody on here that wants to is a challenge as well. Oh well.
Feel free to pm me if you want to chat, I am open to it I know what you are feeling. Be careful with the wife thing, even if she says she understands. My ex encouraged my bisexuality for years and even gave me a hall pass to suck cock, I went through with it and sucked a couple dicks and now its a dealbreaker, even though she let a lesbian friend of hers fuck her with a strap on when she was drunk, but of course she tells me its not the same thing, bull fucking shit.
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:42 PM   #18
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If anything, they're more-so, as they're "off-limits" to us predators.
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:01 PM   #19
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Some on here have mentioned a concern that your wife may change her mind. But also be aware that any arrangement also involves you and this other guy you hope to have someday on some kind of regular basis. You and the other guy may have changes in your own opinions over time.

Personally, I couldn't imagine having an emotional (or for that matter sexual) relationship on the side of a happy relationship regardless of the gender of my partner or of the gender of whomever I want on the side. It may sound so innocent to watch a ball game, get it on, then go home to your spouse. Can you keep it that casual for very long?

For plenty of men after umpteen encounters with the same person (male or female), it gets difficult just to get it up for a body. That is where feelings come into play, and feelings between men can be unpredictable. (Contrary to what some may say, feelings between men are not limited to 100% gay men.) Maybe that is why some guys prefer fleeting hookups - because they know that is all it could ever be.

Last edited by none2_none2 : 09-09-2012 at 07:03 PM.
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Old 09-11-2012, 10:39 AM   #20
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married men are more desirable for you, because you're looking for as much control as possible. someone you can relate to. someone "safe". someone rooted to a central relationship in his life that he will also want to protect. it's understandable.
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