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09-03-2012, 01:28 PM
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#1
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Tortured Innuendo
Words are of course inadequate for the joys of sex, but sometimes they are fun as we stretch our similes and torture our innuendos in the desperate attempt to avoid saying cock or pussy or moan or glistening every other sentence when indulging in a little erotic emailing.
In actual fact it is amazing how enthralling textual sexual sentiment can be, developing a buzz of anticipation each time the inbox is opened or whenever the messenger is turned on… I’ll admit to getting a small boner – and yes, sometimes it is fun to be crude as well – simply by the possibility of there being something tasty to read or arousing to look at.
So I’m a man, 38, English. Slim, but not as skinny as I once was. Probably a little over educated but with a good sense of the silly.
I’m looking for women who’d like to play with words, especially during these long northern hemisphere nights when it is dark outside and we huddle around the warm glow of our laptop or ipads and look for warmth and stimulation. And not just words, pictures, dares and games can be fun too, but let’s get to know each other first, otherwise it is just binary sex and who wants to be just a number?
Last edited by MattWolf : 01-09-2013 at 01:52 PM.
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09-04-2012, 01:07 AM
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#2
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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early morning wood induced bump...
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09-05-2012, 02:12 AM
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#3
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Well the response to this thread was... as enthusiastic as a wet blanket to put it mildly...
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09-05-2012, 02:21 AM
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#4
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Just a mouse
LadyVer is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ridunculous
Posts: 12,303
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattWolf
Well the response to this thread was... as enthusiastic as a wet blanket to put it mildly...
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That could be a good thing.  You might want to also try commenting on threads so you can be more visible and meet people that way. Good luck! |
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09-05-2012, 03:10 AM
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#5
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyVer
That could be a good thing. You might want to also try commenting on threads so you can be more visible and meet people that way. Good luck! |
Not sure why it would be a good thing, but thanks for the thoughtful advice LadyVer. |
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09-05-2012, 03:23 AM
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#6
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Just a mouse
LadyVer is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ridunculous
Posts: 12,303
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattWolf
Not sure why it would be a good thing, but thanks for the thoughtful advice LadyVer.
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You're welcome. FWIW, I think your personal is one of the better ones so I would be surprised if you didn't get responses. |
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09-05-2012, 03:30 AM
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#7
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Really Really Experienced
ilovehugs is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: in your hugs
Posts: 321
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyVer
You're welcome. FWIW, I think your personal is one of the better ones so I would be surprised if you didn't get responses.
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i agree Lady
__________________
When people walk away from you, let them go. It doesn't mean they are bad people, it just means that their part of your story is over.
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09-06-2012, 01:24 AM
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#8
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovehugs
i agree Lady
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Kind of you both to say, although it also seems a backhanded dig at personals... |
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09-06-2012, 11:17 AM
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#9
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Literotica Guru
NeonKnickers is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,657
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I've said it once, and I'll say it again: this guy is a genuine pervert - smart and kind. Regardless of where and if he posts...it's still true. Good luck, Matty Dub. 
__________________
“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep…feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.” - Zooey Deschanel
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09-06-2012, 01:03 PM
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#10
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKnickers
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: this guy is a genuine pervert - smart and kind. Regardless of where and if he posts...it's still true. Good luck, Matty Dub. |
Thank you kindly, may your knickers ever be neon. |
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09-07-2012, 12:31 PM
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#11
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Drop me a line again sometime Neon. You seem to be my only fan.
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09-30-2012, 02:04 AM
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#12
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Anybody up and fancy a chat?
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09-30-2012, 02:24 AM
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#13
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Really Experienced
dumbeg4 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: France
Posts: 105
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MattWolf, I share your love of cock and roll play. Nothing so depressing as " Private Messages: Unread 0."
Wish you luck.
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09-30-2012, 02:28 AM
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#14
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dumbeg4
MattWolf, I share your love of cock and roll play. Nothing so depressing as " Private Messages: Unread 0."
Wish you luck.
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I don't have a particular love of cock... except maybe my own I guess, which I'm on firm terms with. |
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09-30-2012, 01:49 PM
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#15
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Really Experienced
dumbeg4 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: France
Posts: 105
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Hastening to correct wrong impression...I don't fancy cock either. "cock and roll play"= rock and roll play=role play....pretty tortured..sorry .
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10-01-2012, 04:10 PM
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#16
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dumbeg4
Hastening to correct wrong impression...I don't fancy cock either. "cock and roll play"= rock and roll play=role play....pretty tortured..sorry .
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No need, there is nothing wrong with fancying cock, but thanks for the explanation. Less innuendo than tortured cockney rhyming slang. |
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10-01-2012, 04:29 PM
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#17
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Meow!
BluKitten is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: I'm in the Great Lakes State!
Posts: 22,842
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattWolf
No need, there is nothing wrong with fancying cock, but thanks for the explanation. Less innuendo than tortured cockney rhyming slang.
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I must admit that I fancy cock! I miss it. I miss the fullness of it sliding slowly into my cunt. Then pressing on that sweet spot, causing me to arch my back and yell to the ceiling "Fuck, YES!"
__________________
I am no one to you, someone to others, but always me for myself
There is beauty everywhere, you just have to look to find it, and you have to WANT to see it, when you have found it!
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofkisserareyouquiz/
You're an Expert Kisser 
You're a kissing pro, but for you, it's all about quality and not quantity.
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off.
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave.
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable.
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10-01-2012, 04:35 PM
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#18
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BluKitten
I must admit that I fancy cock! I miss it. I miss the fullness of it sliding slowly into my cunt. Then pressing on that sweet spot, causing me to arch my back and yell to the ceiling "Fuck, YES!"
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Which is exactly the kind of fancying cock that I'm delighted to hear about. |
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10-03-2012, 01:20 AM
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#19
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Although screaming at the ceiling might disturb (or excite?) any upstairs neighbours.
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10-03-2012, 07:10 AM
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#20
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Meow!
BluKitten is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: I'm in the Great Lakes State!
Posts: 22,842
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattWolf
Although screaming at the ceiling might disturb (or excite?) any upstairs neighbours.
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Not if you live in a house or if you really don't give a shit what the neighbors think.
__________________
I am no one to you, someone to others, but always me for myself
There is beauty everywhere, you just have to look to find it, and you have to WANT to see it, when you have found it!
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofkisserareyouquiz/
You're an Expert Kisser
You're a kissing pro, but for you, it's all about quality and not quantity.
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off.
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave.
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable.
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10-03-2012, 02:38 PM
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#21
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BluKitten
Not if you live in a house or if you really don't give a shit what the neighbors think.
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True. Bugger the neighbours. Let them wish they were getting some as well. |
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10-03-2012, 02:48 PM
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#22
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Meow!
BluKitten is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: I'm in the Great Lakes State!
Posts: 22,842
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattWolf
True. Bugger the neighbours. Let them wish they were getting some as well.
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Wouldn't mind that, IF I was getting some. But, I'm not, so woe is me!
__________________
I am no one to you, someone to others, but always me for myself
There is beauty everywhere, you just have to look to find it, and you have to WANT to see it, when you have found it!
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofkisserareyouquiz/
You're an Expert Kisser
You're a kissing pro, but for you, it's all about quality and not quantity.
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off.
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave.
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable.
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10-03-2012, 04:47 PM
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#23
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BluKitten
Wouldn't mind that, IF I was getting some. But, I'm not, so woe is me!
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Well in that case I just hope your neighbours are either into gags or have oiled their bed springs recently. |
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10-03-2012, 04:56 PM
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#24
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Experienced
Trixzee is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: The wilds of upstate NY
Posts: 50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattWolf
Well in that case I just hope your neighbours are either into gags or have oiled their bed springs recently.
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Luckily, my nearest neighbor is deaf in one ear and doesn't hear that well in the other.
__________________
I fear I may have muddied the waters on this subject. If so, I made no post on this thread; these are not the droids you are looking for; pay no attention to the man behind the curtain... Oh, look over there!
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10-03-2012, 05:13 PM
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#25
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Literotica Guru
MattWolf is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: England
Posts: 698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trixzee
Luckily, my nearest neighbor is deaf in one ear and doesn't hear that well in the other.
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Although can be something kinda... interesting... about know that one is being overheard. |
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