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Old 10-22-2012, 02:25 PM   #1
Monkeys_paw
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Question Going up - first submission, please comment!

Hi everyone,

I hope this is the right forum now? Otherwise, sorry, mod, please move this thread.
A friend said I could write decent stories, so this is my first submission to prove him wrong (or right).
Please read and tell me what the strong and weak points are and how I can improve.

Thanks for your time and effort!

http://www.literotica.com/s/going-up-8
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