Old 08-20-2014, 08:09 PM   #1
Ktownmale63
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Man on man anal sex

So i have tried being a bottom twice. Hurt like hell tried lube everything i could use to make it feel good. Hurt so bad i only top now. I watch anal porn and it always sounds like it hurts like hell. So honestly does it feel good or feels good because " its supposed to". Thinking it really cant feel that good.
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Old 08-20-2014, 08:36 PM   #2
Riley69
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Anal - takes some getting used to

I've had anal sex many, many times over the years (I'm in my 50's now) and I had trouble at first myself. My ass was young and TIGHT when I was first starting out and I had the same thoughts about, "Well, this will never feel good!" But, I bought some sex toys and practiced with them and learned how to move to make things feel good. I was by myself, so I could take my time and try any position I wanted, no matter how strange. It was a good learning experience!

Some things I've learned:

1. If you are going to let a man fuck you, try to be in a setting where you can be comfortable, take your time and not worry about being caught. ESPECIALLY if you are a beginner.

2. Communication! Tell the man you are with, "Hey, I'm VERY tight back there and I need some time to loosen up so it doesn't hurt me the whole time." Let him know he can use his fingers to loosen you up if he wants. Ass play can be fun! Suck his cock some while he is fingering your ass, make it worth his while.

3. Position: If you get on your hands and knees and let your male friend move in behind you while his cock is raging hard, you should expect him to be impatient and jam it in. UNLESS, you trust him and he knows he HAS to go slow. When I started out, my male lovers were flat on their backs and I straddled them. This left me in control, mostly, and I had the option of just "moving up" off of his cock if I needed to. Plus, it gave me the chance to face him and look him in the eye while we fucked. He could see my face and tell if he was hurting me.

4. Anxiety: Things get messy when it comes to anal sex, at least sometimes. If you are going to fuck on a bed, couch, carpet, or something you really don't want to get nasty, then put down an old comforter, old towel, old blanket, etc. At least if something old gets nasty, you have the option of just tossing it if you need to.

5. Kissing: If you and your male lover are into kissing, in my experience, it seems to loosen things up a bit in the anal region but I don't know why. Maybe it tricks your body into being receptive to a big cock or something! For me, if the guy is being romantic and kissing me while getting me into position for a good fuck, it just seems to get me more ready to accept him inside me. It may not work the same for you.

6. Sex toys: Some of my male lovers really enjoyed using sex toys in my ass first. For one thing, it got me in the mood and got me loose pretty fast. For another thing, it got my lover in the mood since he got to watch my ass stretching around a dildo!

7. LUBE: Well, some people say more is better. I say, use just enough to be comfortable. I use KY Jelly because it is unscented and cleans up nice. Drawback: It can be COLD! Solution: Put a towel in the clothes dryer and get it very warm, then put the tube of KY Jelly in the towel. Yay! Warm KY Jelly! For me, too much lube tells my lover, "I can jam my rock hard cock into his ass all the way and it won't hurt him at all!!! He is lubed up and then some!" It don't work that way!

Well, I hope this helps you out a little bit. You should at least get a dildo that has a suction cup on it so you can stick it to a surface and ride it. When you start to enjoy doing that, you can move on to the real thing and feel like you can enjoy it.
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Old 08-21-2014, 01:48 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley69 View Post
I've had anal sex many, many times over the years (I'm in my 50's now) and I had trouble at first myself. My ass was young and TIGHT when I was first starting out and I had the same thoughts about, "Well, this will never feel good!" But, I bought some sex toys and practiced with them and learned how to move to make things feel good. I was by myself, so I could take my time and try any position I wanted, no matter how strange. It was a good learning experience!

Some things I've learned:

1. If you are going to let a man fuck you, try to be in a setting where you can be comfortable, take your time and not worry about being caught. ESPECIALLY if you are a beginner.

2. Communication! Tell the man you are with, "Hey, I'm VERY tight back there and I need some time to loosen up so it doesn't hurt me the whole time." Let him know he can use his fingers to loosen you up if he wants. Ass play can be fun! Suck his cock some while he is fingering your ass, make it worth his while.

3. Position: If you get on your hands and knees and let your male friend move in behind you while his cock is raging hard, you should expect him to be impatient and jam it in. UNLESS, you trust him and he knows he HAS to go slow. When I started out, my male lovers were flat on their backs and I straddled them. This left me in control, mostly, and I had the option of just "moving up" off of his cock if I needed to. Plus, it gave me the chance to face him and look him in the eye while we fucked. He could see my face and tell if he was hurting me.

4. Anxiety: Things get messy when it comes to anal sex, at least sometimes. If you are going to fuck on a bed, couch, carpet, or something you really don't want to get nasty, then put down an old comforter, old towel, old blanket, etc. At least if something old gets nasty, you have the option of just tossing it if you need to.

5. Kissing: If you and your male lover are into kissing, in my experience, it seems to loosen things up a bit in the anal region but I don't know why. Maybe it tricks your body into being receptive to a big cock or something! For me, if the guy is being romantic and kissing me while getting me into position for a good fuck, it just seems to get me more ready to accept him inside me. It may not work the same for you.

6. Sex toys: Some of my male lovers really enjoyed using sex toys in my ass first. For one thing, it got me in the mood and got me loose pretty fast. For another thing, it got my lover in the mood since he got to watch my ass stretching around a dildo!

7. LUBE: Well, some people say more is better. I say, use just enough to be comfortable. I use KY Jelly because it is unscented and cleans up nice. Drawback: It can be COLD! Solution: Put a towel in the clothes dryer and get it very warm, then put the tube of KY Jelly in the towel. Yay! Warm KY Jelly! For me, too much lube tells my lover, "I can jam my rock hard cock into his ass all the way and it won't hurt him at all!!! He is lubed up and then some!" It don't work that way!

Well, I hope this helps you out a little bit. You should at least get a dildo that has a suction cup on it so you can stick it to a surface and ride it. When you start to enjoy doing that, you can move on to the real thing and feel like you can enjoy it.
That is great advice!
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Old 08-21-2014, 04:07 PM   #4
Ktownmale63
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Great advice i truly love pussy but enjoy mutual blow jobs and jack offs, and im just ok with being a top. Maybe its just not for me. Anyways thanks for the advice and other please share things you have done to help.
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Old 08-21-2014, 04:30 PM   #5
sata85
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Even the first time I did anal, it didn't hurt (though it was with plenty of lube).
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Old 08-21-2014, 05:29 PM   #6
Rogue25
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I am the same as the original poster. It just don't work for me. I am struggling with my first dildo even following two very painful attempts with a guy. I want that intimacy but it's avoiding me right now.
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Old 08-21-2014, 05:38 PM   #7
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It's called gay sex, son.
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Old 08-21-2014, 05:56 PM   #8
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Pjur Back Door Lube. It has relaxing ingredients (not numbing). It's very thick and doesn't feel like it goes away in the middle of the action.
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Old 08-21-2014, 09:17 PM   #9
blubyuf6
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I can take a pretty big dildo, but then again I've been playing with my ass since I a young teen.. Only draw back to using my big black one is it makes me cum too quick...
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:34 PM   #10
CaveCat12401
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Avoiding it (for now). Most recent "date" has a somewhat thick dick and it's kind of intimidating. Great in my mouth, but I'm hesitant about taking it up the ass. The fact that we haven't fucked hasn't been a real issue so far. Bought some EZGlide in case he convinces me.

Great suggestions from Riley69!!
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Old 08-23-2014, 08:09 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley69 View Post
I've had anal sex many, many times over the years (I'm in my 50's now) and I had trouble at first myself. My ass was young and TIGHT when I was first starting out and I had the same thoughts about, "Well, this will never feel good!" But, I bought some sex toys and practiced with them and learned how to move to make things feel good. I was by myself, so I could take my time and try any position I wanted, no matter how strange. It was a good learning experience!

Some things I've learned:

1. If you are going to let a man fuck you, try to be in a setting where you can be comfortable, take your time and not worry about being caught. ESPECIALLY if you are a beginner.

2. Communication! Tell the man you are with, "Hey, I'm VERY tight back there and I need some time to loosen up so it doesn't hurt me the whole time." Let him know he can use his fingers to loosen you up if he wants. Ass play can be fun! Suck his cock some while he is fingering your ass, make it worth his while.

3. Position: If you get on your hands and knees and let your male friend move in behind you while his cock is raging hard, you should expect him to be impatient and jam it in. UNLESS, you trust him and he knows he HAS to go slow. When I started out, my male lovers were flat on their backs and I straddled them. This left me in control, mostly, and I had the option of just "moving up" off of his cock if I needed to. Plus, it gave me the chance to face him and look him in the eye while we fucked. He could see my face and tell if he was hurting me.

4. Anxiety: Things get messy when it comes to anal sex, at least sometimes. If you are going to fuck on a bed, couch, carpet, or something you really don't want to get nasty, then put down an old comforter, old towel, old blanket, etc. At least if something old gets nasty, you have the option of just tossing it if you need to.

5. Kissing: If you and your male lover are into kissing, in my experience, it seems to loosen things up a bit in the anal region but I don't know why. Maybe it tricks your body into being receptive to a big cock or something! For me, if the guy is being romantic and kissing me while getting me into position for a good fuck, it just seems to get me more ready to accept him inside me. It may not work the same for you.

6. Sex toys: Some of my male lovers really enjoyed using sex toys in my ass first. For one thing, it got me in the mood and got me loose pretty fast. For another thing, it got my lover in the mood since he got to watch my ass stretching around a dildo!

7. LUBE: Well, some people say more is better. I say, use just enough to be comfortable. I use KY Jelly because it is unscented and cleans up nice. Drawback: It can be COLD! Solution: Put a towel in the clothes dryer and get it very warm, then put the tube of KY Jelly in the towel. Yay! Warm KY Jelly! For me, too much lube tells my lover, "I can jam my rock hard cock into his ass all the way and it won't hurt him at all!!! He is lubed up and then some!" It don't work that way!

Well, I hope this helps you out a little bit. You should at least get a dildo that has a suction cup on it so you can stick it to a surface and ride it. When you start to enjoy doing that, you can move on to the real thing and feel like you can enjoy it.
this is all sound advice ,you would be well advised to follow it ,i find using toys or his fingers always helps .
straddling him is nice but i love to be on all fours myself but you must find what works best for you .
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Old 08-23-2014, 08:41 AM   #12
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Excellent advice Riley and Blue Sky. Even though my lover says he has no objections and I try to be clean as possible I get nervous about the messiness. So far nothing has happened but I still worry about it. That is where the communication comes into play. Your lover can help reduce the anxiety level and help with your comfort.
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Old 08-24-2014, 06:24 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ktownmale63 View Post
So i have tried being a bottom twice. Hurt like hell tried lube everything i could use to make it feel good. Hurt so bad i only top now. I watch anal porn and it always sounds like it hurts like hell. So honestly does it feel good or feels good because " its supposed to". Thinking it really cant feel that good.
I'm going against the grain here...You may not know this. Your ass is an exit point. Not a designed entry point for parking cocks. That pain, ISN'T fear leaving the body, that pain is telling you..."NO ENTRY"

But (no pun intended), next time, lay on your side. Anyone who's has had an exam..knows Your not on your hands and knees or on your back weighting for the scope...
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:57 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by klippert View Post
I'm going against the grain here...You may not know this. Your ass is an exit point. Not a designed entry point for parking cocks. That pain, ISN'T fear leaving the body, that pain is telling you..."NO ENTRY"

But (no pun intended), next time, lay on your side. Anyone who's has had an exam..knows Your not on your hands and knees or on your back weighting for the scope...
Your statement about the exit point is well taken, butt (pun intended) we all have different positions that feel comfortable to us. We are all uniquely shaped and we all respond differently. Think I will go try some now!

And we did....we did the side by side thing....It is very comfortable after taking a pounding from other positions. Just sort of spooning(anyone use that term anymore?) with him inside me. He can't get too deep in that position but it is a good way to relax and enjoy.
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Last edited by m2m : 08-26-2014 at 06:35 AM.
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