Fighting For A Second Chance(Closed for heartofcourage)

"Yeah, that sounds great mom. I know. Yes. Yes I know that mom." Chuckling softly into the receiver of his cell phone, Alex looked around the small park he had grown up in when a young boy. The summer heat was hot as ever, only mid-way through June and the weather made sure to remind him of that each morning. But he had no reason to complain, this was nothing compared to walking through the desert with fifty pounds of gear, clothes, and weapons on you.

Shaking the images of the ever-returning battles from his head, Alex patted his lap for his dog Kiara to come to him while listening to the ever-preaching words of his mother on the phone. "Yeah mom, okay." Another small chuckle left his lips as he shook his head. "I know. Yes, really. I'll make sure to see when I'm able to leave town when I get back home. I miss you and dad, so I'll make sure to stop by." Pausing, he heard the quivering of his mother's voice on the phone, making him realize just how long it's been since he had truly seen his mother. "Don't cry mom." With a soft whimper leaving her lips, he knew she'd be going. "Love you too mom, tell dad the same. I'll call you later."

And with those last words, his phone call came to an end and a heavy sigh left his lips. As his phone locked, a clear reflection of his tanned face and his smokey blue eyes came into view. Blinking at his reflection, he wondered if he ever knew the face looking back at him anymore. So much had changed in the past few years and a part of him only wished that he could get those years back, the golden years if you may.

"Come on girl." He said softly to his Siberian Husky, Kiara as he stood from the bench and unhooked her leash. Watching as she ran away from him, he continued to walk at a steady pace, looking around at the swaying trees and the small park in front of him. He stopped at the water fountain to get a small drink. With the cool water running down his throat, he momentarily lost himself to his thoughts before the sound of Kiara barking in the faint distance brought him out of his haze.

Wiping the fallen liquid from his moist lips and chin, Alex let his eyes scan the park before he noticed Kiara rolling in the grass and licking the hand of a small boy. Breaking into a light jog, Alex quickly made his way over to Kiara and the small boy as he crouched down and ran his hand along the soft fur of his dog before letting his eyes wander to the child in front of him. The boy's head was turned down , watching Kiara as he giggled and ran his small fingers through her fur, excitingly petting her.

"Hey little guy, where's your mommy?" He asked him softly with a smile. When the child looked up at him, Alex felt his heart skip a beat, his stomach clench, his insides heat up. Who was this boy? His eyes were so blue, almost the same color as his own, the smokey greys mixing in with the bright baby blues, his facial features oddly familiar. Especially the button nose.

Running a hand through his own black messy-styled hair, Alex let out the breath he was unaware of holding before he heard a voice calling a name. That voice. He knew that voice a little too well. He could recall that voice with his eyes closed, picture the face of the women it belonged to without taking a moment's pause to think about it.

"Alec!" So Alec was his name.

Alex could feel his chest constricting as it begged for the oxygen surrounding him, begging to have some sort of air fill the void that was appearing in his heart. A tight line took the shape of his full lips as the realization that he had a son filled his body, causing him to finally take in a breath, his lips quivering slightly as he stood up from his crouched position, watching as his son, her son, their son played with his dog.

"When were you planning on letting me in on your little secret?" Alex asked a little bitterly, his body slowly turning to face the girl of his past, his highschool sweetheart, the love of his life, the girl who had left him behind. "Nice to see you again, Lyndsay. Do tell me, how have you been?" He asked with sarcasm hinting at his voice. "Quite a cute kid you've got. Say, does he get his looks from his father?" Again with the sarcasm, one his brows raised as he finally allowed his eyes to meet hers, so many emotions and memories hitting him hard.

“Alec!”

Her voice was frantic, her brain working in overtime as she jogged along the park path to find her baby. She had turned her back for just a moment to grab his cup of juice and then he was gone. All manner of horrible scenarios played through her head as she began her search, his stroller and things left behind. All that mattered was finding him.

Laughter floated through the trees and she suddenly changed her course, heading towards the familiar sounds of Alec’s infectious giggles. When she saw him playing with a dog that was bigger than he was, she felt another irrational fear go shake her to the core. Then she saw the dog’s owner standing there and she was struck that even from a distance, he looked familiar.

“Alec.” She panted as she hurried to him and snatched him up in her arms, his sweet smell soothing her frazzled nerves. She buried her nose in his baby soft black curls, her heart still racing a mile a minute. “Baby, I told you to stay with Mommy. You’re much too little to go off on your own.” He had his own headstrong personality and was a fearless toddler. Much like his father, she thought.

Lyndsay turned towards the man that was standing by to thank him for keeping Alec occupied, the words dying on her lips as her blue eyes took in the sight of a man she hadn’t seen for years. He was the man who had broken her heart, the man responsible for the boy that she held in her arms. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears as she fought the urge to run and avoid the inevitable confrontation, but it seemed that Alex was determined to ask the difficult questions she didn’t want to answer.

“Hello, Alex.” She said softly, allowing Alec back onto the ground to play with the dog that was sitting patiently by his master. She could hear the bitter note in Alex’s voice and she sighed. “Don’t do this here, Alex. Not in front of him. I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t answer my calls or return my messages.” Her voice matched the same bitter tone that his had, a bit of lingering sadness at her predicament. “Your mother told me that you wouldn’t want to see me and it was better if I just let you go.”

She had made a huge mistake in doubting what she had felt for him for so many years. She’d left him for another man and by the time she realized her mistake, he was gone. She’d been forced to live with her mistakes and make the best out of them. Now it seemed that both of them had lived a lot of hard life since the years when they were young a stupidly optimistic.

Alex's cold demeanor quickly faltered, his face growing soft as he shook his head, his eyes growing distant as he thought back to the simple days. The days that they would spend together beneath the trees, swimming in the creek with their best friends, sneaking out at night to be together.

He remembered when he had hardly made it back through her window one morning before her mom walked in on the two in her bed. Sure they had arguments, but over the stupidest things. He never believed the things the older couples told them, that he'd miss the stupid little fights if he ever lost them, but it was undeniably true. He missed fighting with her over what dress she should wear to go out on a date, or what movie they should watch, or what color the sun was. He missed her.

"Lyndsay don't do this right now." He practically begged her as he noticed her bright blue orbs filling with sadness, her words as angry as his, but a sadness lingering in the depths of each word. "Please, just hear me out." He pleaded with her before his words were pushed away to the scene in front of him, his heart aching as he watched the girl of his dreams bending down to place Alec back near his puppy, the actions of Alec causing his anger to completely fade away to oblivion, his fingers twitching as he wanted nothing more than to do as Lyndsay was doing now, to care for his son the way that she did.

She had changed over the years, they both had, but not in a bad way. She as still as beautiful as the day he had met her, eight years ago. God, that was so long ago! Her shining locks of hair much longer than they had been during her teen years, the slight change of her body due to child birth only making her more beautiful in his eyes.

Licking his lips slightly, Alex blinked to push the thoughts away from his wandering mind before looking into her eyes once more, his heart hammering in his chest loud enough to where he was sure she could hear it. But she made no indication of any sort.

"I'm sorry." He told her sincerely, his words meaning so much more than he thought she could ever understand. "I completely understand if you hate me, I would hate me." He admitted softly. "But it's not like I could respond back then any how, they took all of my personal belongings and the war was just so bad. They only allowed us to receive letters every few months. And even then, my commanders didn't like us sending out letters in fear that our location would be discovered."

With a sigh, Alex let his head hang low for a moment before he opened his eyes and looked into her deep blue eyes, the same eyes that had caused him to fall in love with her so many years ago.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, or even like me, none the less talk to me. But please, don't keep my son from me any longer. You know that he deserves a father and if I had even the slightest thought that he even existed, I would have been there with you, every single step of the way."

He paused, his eyes scanning her face. "So please. I beg of you, let me be part of his life. I can't regain the past three years, but I can be there for the years to come, if you'll let me."

“Alex, I don’t need an apology.” She started before she stopped herself. Lyndsey didn’t want to fight, not after he’d probably just gotten the shock of his life. She sighed and looked down at Alec as he played with the dog that sat patiently at Alex’s side.

The path that life had take made her sad. She had loved Alex with all of her heart and she never understood why she felt the need to look for something new and exciting. She had made a huge mistake and hadn’t realized it until she was already three months pregnant and Alex was off training in the Army. There had been no going back.

She had never seen Alex look so desperate as he did in that moment. She would never had imagined that he would want this little boy as much as she did. She’d been so ashamed at the way Alex’s mother had responded to her that she never told anyone in the family about Alec.

She brushed her long brown hair out of her face and crossed her arms over her chest, considering her words very carefully. She could either deny him contact or she could give him what they all wanted. She was afraid that either way it would end badly.

“I would love for you to be a part of Alec’s life.” She said as she stooped and picked up the little boy, holding him close as he looked between the two of them. “I just…I don’t know, Alex. I don’t want to hurt him.” She didn’t want to hurt herself either. “Why don’t you come to dinner at my house tonight? I live just down the street. We can talk more about everything then.”

She watched the hopeful look on his face and hoped that she was doing the right thing. She felt it was right. She prayed it was right.

“Alec likes Spider Man right now.” She murmured to Alex, hoping to give him a hint as to the way that he could bridge the gap between he and his son.

It was as if everything around him was put on pause, his heart the only beating thing in miles of where he stood. People usually described being in near-death experiences as that one moment of seeing your life cross your eyes, visioning every little thing that ever brought you happiness, and thanking that you got the chance to do those things. Well it was the same for him, but in reverse.

Nothing else mattered to him. Yes he had just met his son merely minutes ago, but he was the only thing that mattered in his life anymore. The past four years in combat that had busted his ass? Didn't matter. The girl of his dreams walking out of his life, believing a lie over their relationship? Didn't matter. The fact that he had never known about his son until this minute? Didn't matter.

The only thing that did matter, was the fact that things were about to change. Whether she liked it or not, he would support his son and be there in his life. He would have been there from day one, had Lindsay allowed him to be. But that didn't matter, only the future and the endless possibilities did. He could feel his heart thudding hard in his chest as he blinked his eyes and saw her mouth tense up before she opened her mouth to speak.

As soon as the words left her mouth, giving him allowance to take part in their son's life, he felt his hear soar and the stupidest, biggest grin take place on his lips. He couldn't help it, he was the happiest man in the world. The only thing that made sense to him, was the fact that he finally believed in the bond between a child and parent. It was unexplainable, but he would never purposely disappoint or leave his son again, ever.

"Thank you so much." He finally spoke, his voice hardly above a whisper as he was still trying to catch his breath and steady his heart. It was all so crazy, but he was delighted to the extreme. "Spiderman? I guess he takes after his dad then." Alex winked with a smile before he pulled his phone out and handed it to her. "Can you add your number and address? And what time should I be there?"

Lindsey took the phone from Alex and programmed her number and address into his contacts. She checked the time on his phone and noticed that it was already well into the afternoon. “How about five? Alec should be up from his nap by then and we usually order a pizza and watch a movie. I think tonight he was planning on watching Spider Man…again.”

She smiled as her son’s eyes lit up at the mention of watching Spider Man for probably the twentieth time. Kissing his baby soft cheek, she looked at Alex and handed back his phone. She suddenly didn’t know quite what to say to him and that broke her heart. She use to be able to talk to him about everything.

“I…uh….I’m really glad you’re back.” She said, the honesty in her voice a very real thing. “I thought about you a lot. We’ll see you at five.”

She turned to leave them, Alec safely back in her arms. She couldn’t help but look back over her shoulder at Alex a few times before he was out of sight. Her stomach was in knots at the thought of all the things she wanted to talk to him about. She tuned out Alec as he babbled to her, her mind a million miles away at the moment.

When she got back to the stroller, she kneeled and buckled him back in tightly. Looking at her little boy, she saw so much of his father in him. Beyond his looks, he had his personality. Spending every day with him gave her a little bit more hope for the future.

“Well, kiddo, looks like we need to get some things done before your daddy comes over.” The words felt good to say to Alec. He needed a daddy and Alex would be a great one.

Alex took his phone back, glancing at the address and number with a smile, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the mentioning of the Spiderman movie. "Don't worry, I'll be there tonight, on time. If I can ever help it, I won't be late a single day for any given event in my son's life for the rest of my life." He told her honestly, his eyes pleading with her, but he knew that he wasn't going to win her back this easily.

"I'm glad I'm back too." He told her honestly, hope sparkling in his eyes.

After watching Lyndsay take their son and walk away from him, he realized that he never wanted to see that sight again. It was too painful. This is not the way he imagined his life. He had always dreamed of having kids with her one day, but not like this. His life was so fucked up, and this was the first he was hearing of it, how fucked up. With a sigh, he fastened Kiara's leash before turning and walking the opposite way, a void in his heart as he realized how much he really had missed in his son's life for the past three years.

The rest of the day pretty much dragged. Time was clearly not moving fast enough. Every time he would glance at the clock or his phone, only a few minutes will have passed. With a sigh, he decided that he may as well get ready to go over for dinner and then get out of the house to pass time more quickly. After pulling on a fitted pair of light blue jeans, a white undershirt, and a blue button down shirt, Alex tied the laces to his black converse and ran his fingers through his hair before looking himself over in the mirror, grabbing his phone and keys, and walking out the door.

He spent half an hour going to the store and then he was parking in front of the house he used to spend every day in. A million memories hit him all at once and he had to take a deep breath to regain his composure. How did things get so screwed up in this little of time? He knew that four years wasn't that long, but it definitely wasn't a short period of time either.

Checking the time on his phone, he realized it was half past four, and she mentioned showing up at four. Slipping his phone into his pocket, he grabbed the dozen roses from the passenger seat and the Kroger bag with a chocolate cake inside before locking up his neon green mustang and approaching the door. Letting out a deep breath, he hid the roses behind his back before raising his free hand and letting it fall against the wooden oak of the door, knocking the same knock he had knocked four years ago.

Lyndsey had taken over the mortgage on the house when her parents had decided to move somewhere warmer. It was nice raising Alec in the same house that she’d been raised. It had always been a good neighborhood with a good school close by and great activities for kids his age. He was a social butterfly with more friends then she could care to count.

After putting Alec down for a nap, she had taken time to clean the house of his toys, trying to make it look halfway presentable. She had put on a clean pair of jeans and a new sleeveless blouse. She fretted over the way she looked in the mirror for what seemed like an hour before she decided it was stupid to care. It was just Alex. They were just going to talk about their son. That was it.

She had just finished ordering the pizza when she heard a knock at the door. When she opened it, she couldn’t help but smile at Alex as he stood on the front porch like he’d done so many times in the past.

“Well, this seems familiar.” She said as she moved aside to let him come in. “Alec isn’t quiet up from his nap yet. I don’t think it would hurt if you wanted to go wake him. He’s usually pretty grumpy.” She warned Alex, knowing that he too could be pretty grumpy when woken.

As soon as the door opened to reveal Lindsey, a breath-taking smile appeared on Alex's face, his heart skipping a beat as she smiled up at him. It was as if the past four years had never happened, as if he was simply showing up at her house to surprise her like he had so many times in the past, bringing her flowers as they had dinner with her parents and enjoyed being young and carefree.

Yes he enjoyed that time with her, but this was a whole other chapter of their lives together, a whole new book of their life together. It was different, they were different, they had a son. He couldn't help but to laugh at her words, nodding in agreement.

"Very familiar." He said softly as he stepped inside. As she closed the door and turned back around to face him, he held the white roses out to her and smiled, knowing it was her favorite flower. He had bought them for her on their first date, afraid that she wouldn't like them, because the store had been sold out of red roses. But she fell in love with them, and him, and here they were many years together.

"Why don't we just let him sleep a while longer, at least until dinner gets here? I was hoping we could catch up a little, talk for a while." He told her in a soft voice, his eyes sparkling with hope as he sat the cake he had brought on the kitchen table, knowing that it was also her favorite dessert.

She was a little speechless when he presented her with the white roses. A large smile broke out on her face when she took them from him, bringing them to her nose to take a deep breath of their fragrance. She remembered times when he’d save his money to buy her flowers. It always use to make her feel special. Now was no exception.

She moved to grab a vase from above the sink, putting the flowers in water before she noticed the cake on the counter. She looked at Alex with a raised eyebrow as she placed the flowers on the counter.

“Trying to butter me up?” She asked with her hands on her hips, a smile barely hidden on her face. “Because it might be working just a little bit.” She didn’t want to give him too much hope since she didn’t know what the future held, but right now everything felt as if it were falling into place. They fell into silence for a moment and Lyndsey suddenly got nervous. What if they had nothing to talk about besides their son anymore?

“I’ve got pictures for you of Alec, if you want. I’ve been saving them.” She hated to admit that she had put together an album on the off chance that one day she’d run into him, but that was just what she’d done. She walked into the living room and pulled it off a shelf, handing it to Alex with a slightly embarrassed look. “It’s got everything. His ultrasound. His birth. His first steps. Birthdays.” She trailed off for a moment, looking down at the ground. “You have to believe me, Alex. I really wanted you there.”

"Just a little? Darn it, I was hoping for a lot more." He teased with a wink and a smile.

When the silence fell into place, his eyes remained hopeful. He knew they could do this, they could become familiar with each other once more, they could work through this, and maybe if they were lucky, be together once more. They could raise their son together. But for the meantime, all that mattered, was being friends, and him giving everything he could to make his son happy.

When she mentioned pictures for him, he followed her into the living room like a lost puppy dog and gladly took the picture album that she had put together. When she told him what was in it, he felt his heart swell, a smile appearing on his face. He listened to her and held the album in his hands, until her last words hit him and he let out a sad sigh before sitting the album down on the counter.

Upon hearing her last words, almost a request to him, he felt his heart throb in his chest. Turning toward her, Alex tenderly took her hand in his and let his eyes fixate upon her own eyes, his free hand tucking a fallen strand of hair out of her eyes and behind her ear.

"Listen to me." He told her softly. "You may not want anything to do with me, you probably hate my existence. You might even think I ruined your life, but I wouldn't trade those four years with you for anything in the world. You're the reason I made it through the war, because I had motivation. God if I knew I had a son, I'd probably be a high-ranked commander." He joked lightly.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to close the distance between his lips and hers, to hold her tight in his arms and to never let go of her. He wanted to feel her skin against his, see the smile on her face as he reunited their bodies. But he couldn't think about any of that right now, just on being friends. He knew that he couldn't win her over so easily, but he could only hope.

Lyndsey smiled slightly at his words, thinking about how good it felt to have him simply hold her hand. Since he had been gone, there really hadn’t been another man in her heart…except for Alec of course.

“Come on, Alex, there must have been other women.” She asked as she took a seat on her couch, waiting for him to sit down beside her. “I mean, when I had to tell my parents I was pregnant, they made Steve and I get engaged.” Steve Dunbar was the man that she’d dated off and on when Alex and her had hit their rough patch. Her parents first assumption had been that the child was Steve’s since Alex was already long gone. “He stayed with me through everything even though I was honest that the baby wasn’t his. After Alec was born, I didn’t think it was fair that I was keeping him in a relationship that was based on a lie. He’s got a great wife now. They watch Alec once a week for me.”

She wasn’t sure why she’d told Alex that. She wanted only honesty between them from then on. No lies. No secrets. She wasn’t everything that they’d ever planned for, she just wasn’t sure how to go about getting that.

Lyndsey was about to say something more when she heard a noise from the hallway and turned to see Alec standing there with his Spider Man toy under one arm, swiping at his sleepy eyes with his other fist and looking very grumpy. She smiled at her baby as he walked over to her without a word and climbed into her lap, curling up against her as he’d done nearly every day since he was born. She looked over the top of his black curls to Alex, her heart breaking at all the time he’d missed with his son.

“Did you have a good nap, kiddo?” She asked as he nodded silently. “Well, why don’t you go sit in your daddy’s lap? Mommy still has some things to get done before dinner. I’m sure he’s got all sorts of cool stories to tell you.” And just like that, she picked Alec up and placed him in the arms of the man who had given him life.

Alex arched a brow and shook his head with amusement as he followed her lead to the couch, taking a seat next to her as she began to talk. His hand absentmindedly grazed her knee as he sat next to her, her words about an ex making him tense up slightly. He began to imagine the worst, his gut knotting up immediately before she calmed his nerves by telling him that the couple had broken up after Alec was born, a small smile breaking loose on Alex's face.

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out for the two of you. But to be honest, about your previous question-" He paused and ran a hand through his hair that had finally grown out after being buzzed off for so long in the army. "There never was anybody else. Not while I was with you, nor after you left me. Sure, I had offers, I won't lie about that much. I was even tempted a few times, but not once did I take up those offers, because I knew there was better."

Alex saw her lips tense up as she prepared to open her mouth to speak, before she turned her head and his eyes followed her gaze to where her son ; his son ; their son was standing in the doorway clutching at a Spider man figurine, his eyes half shut and a yawn leaving his outstretched lips as he rubbed at his eyes grumpily.

"He's my miniature clone, in every single way." Alex thought to himself, a smile breaking loose on his lips.

The thought was pushed away from his mind as soon as Lindsey spoke the word Daddy, followed by Mommy. He may have subconsciously knew that they were the parents of Alec, that they were his mother and father, but it sounded so different aloud, so strange, so right. He felt himself swell with pride at being called Daddy.

When she nonchalantly picked their son up and plopped him in Alex's lap, Alex automatically stretched his arms out to hold his son, his heart beating a mile a minute as he fought to control himself, a goofy smile on his face as if he had just won the jackpot. But really, it was as if he had won the jackpot, he finally was able to meet his son, hold his son, talk to his son, be a family.

"Hey little guy, I heard that somebody likes Spider Man, is that true?" When Alec slowly nodded his head, Alex smiled while picking him up and walking over to the counter where he had left the bag with the cake in it. What he didn't tell Lindsey, was that he had also brought something for Alec as well.

Sitting Alec on the counter top, Alex reached inside of the bag and pulled out one of the newest things that kids loved: Pillow Pets. He had gotten Alec a Spider Man one. It unrolled to be Spider Man, but you could also roll it up to be a pillow. After handing it to Alec, he also pulled out a Slip N' Slide that was Spider Man themed and sat it on the counter.

"Maybe after dinner, your mom will let me hook it up in the back yard and we can go have some fun?" He smiled at Alec.

Lindsey tried to make herself scarce as Alex tried to bond with his son. She set the table for dinner, smiling as she listened to their conversation. Alec wasn’t at an age just yet that he had asked about his dad, but she knew that someday the conversation would come up. She’d talked to Steve and his wife one night over coffee about what she was going to tell him, and both had told her it was best to be honest. Fate had suddenly deemed that Alex would walk back into their lives and make that conversation a little easier.

As she placed the silverware next to the plates, she noticed Alex pulling out gifts for Alec. She wanted to be angry and tell him that he didn’t need to buy him things to win his favor, but she bit back the words and decided to let it go. It was better to pick her battles. She could discuss it with him later when things had calmed down a bit. Still, she couldn’t help but notice how Alec’s eyes lit up at his gifts.

“Please, mommy, please?” She heard Alec ask and she was shaken from her thoughts as she held up the Slip N’ Slide box, his huge eyes begging. She glanced towards Alex and noticed the same look on his face.

“After dinner, Alec. Now thank Alex for your presents and go wash your hands. The pizza will be here any minute.” She grinned as Alec said a clumsy thank you and slipped off the counter, racing to his bathroom to wash his hands. “Thank you.” She said softly, her hand reaching out to rest lighting against Alex’s arm. She needed to touch him and remind herself that he was actually there. It was an amazing thing.

The moment was ruined when the doorbell rang and she gave him a small smile. “Could you get Alec situated? I’ll get the pizza.” She said, brushing past him to pay the delivery man.

Alex watched as his son immediately began to beg his mom if they could put up the Slip N' Slide. A small laugh left his lips as Lindsey blinked to concentrate before she told Alec the same thing: after dinner. When she told him to go get cleaned up, Alex helped him off of the counter and watched as he ran toward his room.

With a soft sigh of happiness, he felt something warm touch his hand, making him look down to see Lindsey looking up at him with hopeful eyes, a smile touching his full lips as he nodded his head. He once again got the urge to lean down and press his lips against her luscious lips, wanting nothing more than for things to be the way they once were, but he knew he had to take things slow with her this time.

When the doorbell sounded, breaking the two out of their trance, Alex nodded his head while running a hand through his hair, shaking his head at how unbelievable this all was. When Alec came running back into the living room, he held his hand out to Alex and Alex grinned before taking Alec's hand. Slowly walking into the kitchen, Alex looked down at Alec.

"You want to sit next to your mom, or me?" He asked curiously, praying for the latter.

"You." Alec told him softly, a smile breaking free on Alex's face as he felt like punching the air in victory, all because his son wanted to sit next to him for dinner.

"Okay, sounds good to me."

Pulling his chair out and helping him get seated, Alex waited until Lindsey came in and then did the same with her, seating her across the table from the two boys before he took his seat next to Alec and smiled at his little family.

"Thanks for letting me come over tonight." He told Lindsey happily.

Lindsey couldn’t help but smile at Alex’s infectious enthusiasm. She felt a lot of guilt at keeping his son away from him for so long, but sitting there with him in that moment felt so incredibly right.

“Say our prayers, Alec.” She said, smiling as their son immediately bowed his head and repeated a short little prayer he’d been taught before she dished him up some of his favorite cheese pizza. “Cheese for Alec and pepperoni for us. You might want to watch him. He might eat everything on your plate too.” Lindsey said as Alec giggle at the inside joke, taking a giant bite of his pizza.

The conversation between the three of them felt so easy and natural. She soon forgot that she had felt awkward earlier around Alex and was laughing right along with him at their son’s antics. It felt right to be with him again and she was sorry that she’d ever doubted what they had in the first place.

When Alec finished, Lindsey cleaned his hands with a napkin, wiping his messing face and listened to him beg to go set up his new toy. “Not yet. Go and get your swimsuit out of the dresser and I’ll get you set up.” She said, giving him a swat as he ran squealing out of the room. She smiled as she watched him go before she looked at Alex with a serious look on her face. “What are you going to tell you family?” She asked softly, knowing that they already hated her enough for what she’d done to him in their break up. She couldn’t even fathom how they’d react to know that they had a grandchild they never knew.

Alex couldn't believe how easy all of this was flowing. The conversation was light and easy, the laughs were loud and frequent, the adorableness of their son was non-stop and he couldn't believe how much he had missed the girl that was sitting across the table from him. He had missed so much of his son's life, but everything was finally falling together perfectly. He couldn't ask for a better night.

When dinner was over, Alex watched as Lindsey cleaned his messy face and hands before he begged about the water toy once more. When she swatted him and he ran squealing to his room, Alex couldn't help but to laugh. This was what being a family was about. He went around the table and collected the dishes before putting them in the sink and letting them soak. If they weren't about to put the toy up, he would even do her dishes for him.

"What do you mean? About Alec?" He asked softly, his eyes taking in the seriousness of the matter as he noted the softness of her voice, the worrying of her tone. He took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. "My family doesn't matter. I'll get around to telling them and if they can't accept him, then they don't matter. Only you and him matter right now. And besides, how could anybody not love him? He's perfect." Alex spoke truthfully. "I think all I'd have to do is show a picture to my mom, or bring Alec around, and she'd fall in love."

He was so caught up in their conversation that neither of them had heard Alec enter the kitchen with his swimming trunks on already. Alex felt a tugging on his pants, where he looked down and saw his son smiling up at him.

"Aren't you going to do it too?" Alec asked him, his eyes big and hopeful.

"Uhm." Alex paused for a moment. "Sure buddy, I'd love to."

Alex smiled before pulling his shirt over his head and onto the ground. He was even more fit than when they had been together so many years ago, from all the training in the army. He was in the best shape he had been in his whole life. And his body obviously showed it. He stepped out of his shoes and bent down to slip his socks off before he unbuckled his pants and pushed his jeans to the floor.

"You're swimming in your underwear?" Alec asked while giggling loudly.

"Yupp." Alex smiled. "Me and your mommy used to all the time." He grinned at the memories.

“But it’s more than just about Alec…” She was interrupted from the conversation when the little boy came back in the room, already in his swimsuit. He was getting so big, she thought, smiling at the sudden independent streak that he’d developed.

Lindsey laughed as Alec asked if Alex would be joining him on the slide, her laugh dying as she watched him strip out of his clothes. She couldn’t help but look over the hard plains of his muscular body with appreciation. It looked like time in the army had definitely done him good. God, he would think she looked terrible if he ever saw her, she thought absently.

She blushed hotly as Alex mentioned their skinny dipping days to the giggling toddler, the warning glare she gave him softened by the smile on her lips. She remembered those days very well. Back then she’d had a body that a few pounds lighter, a little more toned, and she’d definitely not been shy about showing it off. Now…well, that was a different story.

“You two better get going. There’s only so much time to play before bedtime!” She said with wide eyes directed towards her suddenly panicked son. She laughed as he grabbed Alex’s hand and begged him to hurry. She watched out the window over the sink while she did the dishes as Alex set up the slide, grinning at Alec slid fearlessly down it time after time. She could have joined them, but she chose not to. This was their time to be boys and to bond. They had a lot of time to make up for.

He could see the blush creeping onto her face from the memories filing their minds. They had been so happy and so in love growing up, it was hard to imagine what had filled the years since. He had been about to ask her if she would join them, when Alec begged him to hurry up, panic filling his eyes at the mentioning of bed time. Upon feeling his son's hand in his, he gladly picked him up and went out the back door.

It took him a while to get the thing set up before he hooked the water hose up to the connecting piece and the water began to spurt up through the holes that allowed the actual slide to get wet. He pumped the pillow piece a few times, soaking the slide before he held his thumbs up for his son to slide down the slide.

Time and time again, Alec would slide down the soaked slide before he practically forced Alex to slide down the slide, fitful giggles leaving Alec's lips as he watched his dad slide down the slide, water splashing his face and hair as he sputtered and laughed along with his son. Standing up from the slide, he looked up to see Lyndsey smiling at them through the kitchen window. He waved for her to join them but when she shook her head no, he felt Alec's hands on his legs, trying to push him onto the slide.

Alex yelled, acting surprised as Alec giggled and took off away from him, Alex chasing him throughout the backyard, laughing loudly himself. He was more than capable enough to catch the giggling toddler, but he let Alec believe that he could outrun his dad.

"You better hurry! I'mma get you! Hurry! Jump on the slide, it will save you!"

Alec giggled and slid down the slide in a rush, the whole thing picture perfect. He could not believe how much fun he was simply having playing on a Slip N' Slide in his ex-girlfriend's backyard, with the son he never knew he had. It was a dream come true.

The hours slipped by and the boys were sitting in chairs outside, drinking juice as the last of the water droplets dripped from their shorts, both smiling, and both having a great time. Alex had turned the water off of the slide about an hour ago, and it was getting close to nine. When Alec finished his juice, Alex could see the tired look in his eyes, it wouldn't take him long to fall asleep.

He picked his son up and began to walk inside as he heard his son's small voice. "Thanks dad." He said softly as he nuzzled his face into Alex's strong neck and fell asleep on his chest. Alex felt his heart swell and skip a beat as he walked into the living room and looked at Lindsey before walking back to his son's room and laying him in bed before tucking him in, kissing his forehead, turning the light off, and walking back into the kitchen.

His boxers were fully dry by this point, his eyes lit up with happiness, his chest rising and falling in content breaths as he pulled his pants back up his legs and buttoned/zipped them before fastening the belt. He brought his shirt with him to the couch, leaving his shoes and socks sitting by the door. He slowly sat down on the couch next to Lindsey as he let out a slow breath and looked into her eyes.

"This day has meant so much more to me than you'll ever know." He told her softly, his shirt still in his hands.

She had been reading on the couch when Alex stepped into the house with a sleeping Alec. She couldn’t help but smile at the picture the two of them made and she nodded to him as he motioned that he was taking him to bed. She waited in the living room for him to return, her mind racing with a million possibilities.

She wanted him in Alec's life from now on. Whatever he wanted, she'd agree to. If he wanted to share custody she'd make an agreement. If he wanted to visit, she'd make it work. Her little boy deserved the kind of happiness that he'd had that day everyday of his life. She could see how much having a dad meant to him, even if he was too little to realize it.

Lindsey still took time to appreciate his muscular chest as he came into the living room without a shirt, a different emotion altogether racing through her body when he sat close to her on the couch. His words touched her deeply and she wanted to tell him so many things but something was stopping her. She couldn’t get the words out. It felt miserable.

“Alex…” She started and stopped herself, struggling as she reached out to touch his arm. “There’s a part of me that’s never stopped loving you. I think about you all the time. No one else has ever come close to what I had when I was with you.” She could feel tears filling her eyes as she spoke suddenly in a fast rush of words. “Can you ever forgive me for being so stupid?” She needed his forgiveness for so many things, least of all for keeping his son a secret for so long.

When Alex felt her hand touching his arm, he felt his body fill with heat. That's all it took, one little touch from her. He missed her touch, her lips, her body, her everything. He missed her so bad, and it was killing him to act like they were strangers when they both knew that they had once been so much more. But that was it, they had once been, they weren't anywhere close to that now.

When she said his name, he looked up into her eyes, his eyes searching hers for the unspoken words. When she began to speak the rest of her sentence, he felt his heart skip another beat, beating faster than it had in so long. He felt like an awkward teenager once more, afraid of what the girl of his dreams thought of him, afraid of what she was going to say, afraid that he would do something to mess all of this up, it was too good to be true.

"Please don't cry." He whispered to her, seeing the tears welling up in her eyes, about to brim over and roll down her cheeks. He suddenly reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him, his arms wrapping around her and hugging her tight to his chest as he ran a hand through her hair, smoothing it out down her back as he kissed the top of her head.

"It's okay now, I promise. You are not stupid, and of course I forgive you. I know now that none of this was intentional, it was all messed up, and we were so young. I'm so sorry for not being here." He spoke against the top of her head, a single tear rolling out of his left eye and rolling down his cheek as he continued to rub her back and run his fingers through her hair, wanting to touch her, to know that this was really happening, that they may be able to move forward finally, mend the broken pieces.

Lindsey couldn’t help the tears that flowed as Alex wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight. She sobbed in earnest, so many years of fear, loneliness and regret coming forth in a violent outburst of emotion. She had missed him so much, wishing that he were there everyday to watch Alec grow. She had tried to contact him, she really had, but between letters being returned or going unanswered, she had slowly just given up over the years.

“I want you in our lives, Alex. Anything you want, I’ll do. Just please don’t break his heart because of what I’ve done.” She begged him, babbling as she cried, her emotions too stretched thin to make much sense of just what she was saying.

It was cathartic to cry in his arms, the stress leaving her body until it was replaced with a pleasant numb feeling. Before she knew it, she was closing her eyes with her cheek pressed against his warm skin. His scent was familiar and she could almost pretend that they were teenagers again, that none of the past had ever happened. She let herself drift in the peaceful thoughts of that until she had fallen asleep in his arms.

Alex simply held onto her tightly and let her cry in his arms. He knew that she had been building these emotions up for a while now, because that's what she did. She let her emotions build up until something happened and they all leaked out like a breaking dam. He had been through it with her in the past, and he hoped to go through it with her in their future.

"Shh, it's okay. Nothing will stop me from being here for you two in the future, I'll never leave you alone again. I promise." He whispered into her ear as he he tried to soothe her, her tears coming down in sobs as he rubbed her back and whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

When Alex felt her tears finally subside, he held her even tighter, knowing that she desperately needed it. He could feel her cheek against his strong neck. He eventually felt her even breathing and knew that she had fallen asleep in his arms. She had cried herself to sleep in his arms, and he knew that this only meant that they could move forward from today. They could make progress. They could change.

He carefully picked her up and turned the light out in the living room before walking her to her bedroom. He silently layed her down in her bed and pulled the covers up. He didn't want to leave her like that, so he unbuttoned his pants, slid them down once more, and joined her in the bed. He slowly layed down behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist as he nuzzled his face against her neck and drifted off to sleep holding the girl of his dreams.

It was well before dawn before a scared little boy entered the room, climbing into the bed and shaking her shoulder with a panicked whisper about monsters in his closet. Lindsey groaned in her sleep, her eyes feeling sore from the crying she’d done the night before as she pried them open to look at her alarm clock.

“Alec James, it is too early to be up. You lie your butt back down in bed, mister. You know that monsters aren‘t real.” She scolded, her eyes widening slightly when she noticed a warm body pressed against her back and a muscular arm holding her waist tight.

As Alec dove quickly under the covers on her other side, she dared to peek over her shoulder at Alex as he slumbered on, undisturbed by their son. She sighed and snuggled back under the blankets, a smile on her face as she pulled her son close. She felt at peace for the first time in four years. Drifting back to sleep, she absently heard Alec murmur something about spending the day with his dad. She sleepily agreed before she shushed him and fell back to sleep.

When she awoke a few hours later, she was alone. Both were gone and the smell of breakfast lingered in the air. She was amazed at how late it was. She hadn’t slept that late since before Alec was born. After a quick shower, she pulled on short and a t-shirt and entered the kitchen to find the two of them eating at the table. Smiling at the picture they made, she quickly joined them, helping herself to the bacon and eggs that Alec insisted he made.

“So, what plans do the two of you have today?” She asked

When Alex finally opened his eyes, he felt Lindsey's warm body pressed against his chest, her soft body being cuddled against his as his arm remained tight around his waist. He smiled softly at waking up next to her, his cheek brushing against the back of her shoulder before he planted a soft kiss on the top of her shoulder. He looked around at the clock and noticed it was already nine. He slowly pulled his arm from around her and slowly became quite aware of his case of morning wood.

With a soft chuckle, Alex grabbed his pants and made his way to the bathroom. Once he was finished using the bathroom, Alex walked past the bedroom and heard a noise. When he poked his head in, he noticed that Alec was stirring awake, being in the arms of his mother. When had he come in last night?

Putting the thought aside, he helped Alec out of bed and walked into the kitchen with the young child in his arms, rubbing his eyes furiously as he yawned. With a smile, Alex sat his son down in a chair and opened the fridge.

"You hungry?" He asked Alec before his son nodded with a smile coming to his face.

"Mom likes bacon, and eggs, and biscuits!" He grinned. "But I like pancakes!"

"Shh, let's try to let your mom sleep a little while longer, okay?"

Alec nodded his head happily as Alex cracked three eggs on the stove, started bacon in another pan, and put the biscuits in the oven. He looked around before Alec pointed at one of the cupboards above his head. Arching a brow, Alex opened the cupboard and saw the pancake mix. What Alec didn't know, was that his dad was about to make chocolate chip pancakes, that Lindsey had once loved waking up to on Saturday mornings when she spent the night with him.

The eggs, bacon, and biscuits were already done and he was making the last two pancakes when Lindsey walked in. Her hair was wet from a shower, her eyes were slightly puffy and irritated from crying the night before, but she still looked as beautiful as the day they had met. He smiled at her while flipping the pancakes onto a plate and setting them on the table with the rest of the food.

Sitting down next to Alec, he made sure that Lindsey and Alec's cups were full of Orange Juice, and they began to eat as a happy little family. When she inquired them about their plans, Alec turned toward Alex the same time he looked down at his son, both shining with grins.

"Dad's going to take me to the Aqua Center so we can swim and play around. And then we're going to the carnival tonight! Mommy, we both want you to come with us." Alec babbled happily, a large grin on his face as he shoved a big bite of pancake in his mouth.