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Old 07-28-2016, 01:09 AM   #1
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The General Commentary Thread

I guess I'm frustrated over finding quite the right place to comment on posted poems without messing up whatever theme or prompt is driving that thread. We have several "companion" threads that exist solely to allow comments on poems in this or that thread. Trying to locate the one that comments on the MonkeyLove thread or the CanadiansOpposedtoBrexit thread or even knowing if there is or isn't a thread commenting on the Five Senses Challenge (what actually inspired this thread) is a major investigative operation.

So this thread. Like, general.

Post a comment here for any thread. Just reference the thread and poem you are commenting on.

Something like by golly it is beyond great to see a poem posted by the talented and sophisticated darkmaas who has deigned to grace our forums threads with a typically really tasty poem.

You want to know something about poetry? Just read dm's poem aloud.
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Old 07-28-2016, 01:22 AM   #2
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How does one write a poem? How does one structure a poem?

One really good solution to this is to make a kind of story. It doesn't have to be elaborate, or showy, or linguistically frilly. It just needs to engage the reader with some basic narrative that he or she can relate to.

Like Angie's "Awakening." Twenty lines, very basic story, but interesting and compelling. The poem is more than a "I looked hot in that swimsuit" poem--it references older women's opinion, the narrator's uncertainty about how she looks, her growing confidence about how she looks, the whole thing about incipient sexuality.

It is, in other words, about the emotions experienced by the narrator, which is what makes it a poem.

Or, at least to me, a pretty good one.
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Old 07-28-2016, 11:49 AM   #3
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Both Lyricalli's 3-17 and Angeline's Nshm-21 in 30 poems in 30 days made me smile
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Old 07-28-2016, 02:50 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzara View Post
How does one write a poem? How does one structure a poem?

One really good solution to this is to make a kind of story. It doesn't have to be elaborate, or showy, or linguistically frilly. It just needs to engage the reader with some basic narrative that he or she can relate to.

Like Angie's "Awakening." Twenty lines, very basic story, but interesting and compelling. The poem is more than a "I looked hot in that swimsuit" poem--it references older women's opinion, the narrator's uncertainty about how she looks, her growing confidence about how she looks, the whole thing about incipient sexuality.

It is, in other words, about the emotions experienced by the narrator, which is what makes it a poem.

Or, at least to me, a pretty good one.
And thank you for the inspiring poem you wrote that helped me find my way into yesterday's 30/30 entry. I have come to believe that good poems combine the characteristics we define as poetry (images, metaphor, etc.) with those that make for a good story.

This is a good time on the forum--our cup runneth over with good writing. When folks like Katie, Desejo and darkmaas return to write along with the current cast of inmates er regulars, it makes for a great atmosphere and one that is conducive to writing for everyone. Now we just need another challenge. <Just hinting--I have to try lol.>

Also I'd love it if we had a single companion thread for all the "poem only" threads. I could sticky it so it wouldn't get lost. I'd also like to unstick your form thread, the challenges thread and the illustrated info thread and put links to them into a single "resources" sticky thread. Think that would be an improvement? I do! (Anyone please respond if you have a strong opinion on this!


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Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Both Lyricalli's 3-17 and Angeline's Nshm-21 in 30 poems in 30 days made me smile
It's a real slog some days in that thread lol as was recently pointed out by (I think) Piscator.
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Old 07-28-2016, 03:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Both Lyricalli's 3-17 and Angeline's Nshm-21 in 30 poems in 30 days made me smile
Thank you! I had to go look up to see which that was. Written while waiting for a very, very late dinner that night.
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Old 07-29-2016, 10:40 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzara View Post
How does one write a poem? How does one structure a poem?

One really good solution to this is to make a kind of story. It doesn't have to be elaborate, or showy, or linguistically frilly. It just needs to engage the reader with some basic narrative that he or she can relate to.

Like Angie's "Awakening." Twenty lines, very basic story, but interesting and compelling. The poem is more than a "I looked hot in that swimsuit" poem--it references older women's opinion, the narrator's uncertainty about how she looks, her growing confidence about how she looks, the whole thing about incipient sexuality.

It is, in other words, about the emotions experienced by the narrator, which is what makes it a poem.

Or, at least to me, a pretty good one.
Thanks for starting this thread, Tzara. I think the value of PF&D is not only to write but discuss the elements of poetry that make it good art. I think we all benefit as writers when that happens.

I too liked Angie's "Awakening." When you alluded to storytelling, I was reminded of 1201's "power of three." He might contradict me if he was here, but I always took that to mean establish the narrative however briefly, then to the turn in the narrative, or the "ahah!" and then the resolution, i.e., the more definitive statement the poet wishes to make.

This isn't axiomatic. For example, some of W.S. Merwin's poems confused me from the get-go, but I somehow manage to enjoy them, never quite understanding how or when I made the "turn."

Nonetheless, it's one those self-checks I do in a final draft, although not always successfully.

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Old 07-29-2016, 02:48 PM   #7
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Piscator, I really enjoyed reading your muddy West Coast Trail Memories. I'm not the camping type but your poem is so colorful and moves to its surprise ending so fluidly that it put me there.
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Old 07-29-2016, 11:02 PM   #8
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Tzara said;

"by golly it is beyond great to see a poem posted by the talented and sophisticated darkmaas who has deigned to grace our forums threads with a typically really tasty poem."

Wow! As much as I would like to be agreeable ... this is highly hyperbolic. But thank you. All I can see in the poem is things that could be improved.

This little corner of literacy/debauchery/eroticism is much improved. Maybe a new golden age ... dare we hope ...


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Old 07-30-2016, 12:21 PM   #9
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Quote:
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Piscator, I really enjoyed reading your muddy West Coast Trail Memories. I'm not the camping type but your poem is so colorful and moves to its surprise ending so fluidly that it put me there.
Thanks Angeline and also to Remec whose 5 senses triggered a cascade of memories and the poem more or less wrote itself (although it could use editing).

And thanks to Tzara for starting this thread, it is a welcome addition to the cord that binds this site together.

I find the 5 senses challenge interesting in that the 5 words either work for me or don't and when they do the writing is almost automatic. Equally interesting is how the same words can trigger very different poems as evidenced by my late response to darkmass' sequence which UYS had responded to just before I was about to post (so I posted anyway). In a more formal fashion, this might be an interesting challenge.
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Old 07-30-2016, 01:44 PM   #10
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Quote:
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Thanks Angeline and also to Remec whose 5 senses triggered a cascade of memories and the poem more or less wrote itself (although it could use editing).

And thanks to Tzara for starting this thread, it is a welcome addition to the cord that binds this site together.

I find the 5 senses challenge interesting in that the 5 words either work for me or don't and when they do the writing is almost automatic. Equally interesting is how the same words can trigger very different poems as evidenced by my late response to darkmass' sequence which UYS had responded to just before I was about to post (so I posted anyway). In a more formal fashion, this might be an interesting challenge.
Hi P'tor. Are you suggesting a "same senses" challenge? Sounds similar to a same title challenge, which we've done here successfully in the past. I think that would be fun (either challenge, actually). Anyone else interested?
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Old 07-30-2016, 01:51 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
Hi P'tor. Are you suggesting a "same senses" challenge? Sounds similar to a same title challenge, which we've done here successfully in the past. I think that would be fun (either challenge, actually). Anyone else interested?
Funny, I was talking to someone recently about this same thing, because it's so interesting to see what different people will do with the same words.

Was thinking that a new set of words could be posted every few days. Or maybe several sets of words could be given up front, and people can do all of them, some of them, etc. Might depend on how long the challenge runs which option would work best.
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Old 07-30-2016, 04:52 PM   #12
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Private Message reporting for duty, General Commentary SIR, YES SIR!
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Old 07-30-2016, 05:08 PM   #13
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Hi P'tor. Are you suggesting a "same senses" challenge? Sounds similar to a same title challenge, which we've done here successfully in the past. I think that would be fun (either challenge, actually). Anyone else interested?
owwww I am game!!! count me in!!!
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Old 07-30-2016, 05:45 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Funny, I was talking to someone recently about this same thing, because it's so interesting to see what different people will do with the same words.

Was thinking that a new set of words could be posted every few days. Or maybe several sets of words could be given up front, and people can do all of them, some of them, etc. Might depend on how long the challenge runs which option would work best.
It really works best when everyone has the same title or (I'm extrapolating) set of senses. Of course the senses could be chosen to be more open or not--like smell could be "pink grapefruit" or "citrus" which opens it up more or even "fruit" which goes even further. It all depends on who picks the senses. Maybe it should be a group effort. Would we try to make it harder or easier for each other?

I think a week or more per word set is fair because there are ongoing challenges here or people just write or maybe someone else has another idea for a challenge. I personally don't want to write a poem a day for a while once I finish my current 30/30.

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Private Message reporting for duty, General Commentary SIR, YES SIR!
Lol. I'm counting this as you'll do the challenge!

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Originally Posted by Sinseria View Post
owwww I am game!!! count me in!!!
Great! That's four of us so far.
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Old 07-30-2016, 06:28 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
Hi P'tor. Are you suggesting a "same senses" challenge? Sounds similar to a same title challenge, which we've done here successfully in the past. I think that would be fun (either challenge, actually). Anyone else interested?
I was thinking of a same 5 senses challenge where all entrants would write a poem on the same 5 sense ques and could produce an appropriate title if they desired.

For instance the first challenge could use the ques from the first 5 Senses challenge


Taste: Pomegranate
Touch: Sand
Smell: Sandalwood
See: Red
Hear: Breathe

champagne could recycle here initial response if so desired but everyone else would have to come up with their own poem on these sense words.
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Old 07-30-2016, 06:47 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piscator View Post
I was thinking of a same 5 senses challenge where all entrants would write a poem on the same 5 sense ques and could produce an appropriate title if they desired.

For instance the first challenge could use the ques from the first 5 Senses challenge


Taste: Pomegranate
Touch: Sand
Smell: Sandalwood
See: Red
Hear: Breathe

champagne could recycle here initial response if so desired but everyone else would have to come up with their own poem on these sense words.
This could work well. More than one set at a time in the same challenge gets confusing. The idea of recycling those lists of senses is genius!

How long would you give per set of senses?
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Old 07-30-2016, 06:55 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
It really works best when everyone has the same title or (I'm extrapolating) set of senses. Of course the senses could be chosen to be more open or not--like smell could be "pink grapefruit" or "citrus" which opens it up more or even "fruit" which goes even further. It all depends on who picks the senses. Maybe it should be a group effort. Would we try to make it harder or easier for each other?

I think a week or more per word set is fair because there are ongoing challenges here or people just write or maybe someone else has another idea for a challenge. I personally don't want to write a poem a day for a while once I finish my current 30/30.
How you do it could depend on how long you want the challenge to run combined with how many sets of senses you want people to write with.

It might be a bit more disorganized to give all the sets up front, because all the poems with the same sets of words won't be together, but easier to run. You could give five sets of words for a three week challenge, for instance, versus three sets at one wet per week for three weeks, and just let people write with them in their own time over the duration of the challenge.

Of course, nothing wrong with three sets in three weeks, either, so everyone's working with the same words at the same time.

Though, I just had the thought that five days between sets would be appropriate.

It could be fun to have those who want to participate send sets of senses via PM, then randomly mix them up when putting the sets together for use in the challenge.


After the conversation I mentioned earlier, I started thinking about trying it in a month or two, so I've given the different ways of doing it some thought.
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Old 07-30-2016, 06:56 PM   #18
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Quote:
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This could work well. More than one set at a time in the same challenge gets confusing. The idea of recycling those lists of senses is genius!

How long would you give per set of senses?
What about 2 weeks for responses? We could use this thread for comments or set up a separate thread.
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Old 07-30-2016, 07:34 PM   #19
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Same Five Senses Challenge

Quote:
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What about 2 weeks for responses? We could use this thread for comments or set up a separate thread.
Works for me. I'll set up a thread Monday. People can send their responses to The Poets via pm so people can guess who wrote what. The Poets is an account any of the poetry moderators can access. (Unless you want to do this--either way is good...)

And if we start on the 1st of August, we would have until the 15th to submit poems.
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Old 07-30-2016, 11:26 PM   #20
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Old 07-30-2016, 11:48 PM   #21
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Quote:
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Works for me. I'll set up a thread Monday. People can send their responses to The Poets via pm so people can guess who wrote what. The Poets is an account any of the poetry moderators can access. (Unless you want to do this--either way is good...)

And if we start on the 1st of August, we would have until the 15th to submit poems.
No I'm quite happy letting you moderate
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Old 07-31-2016, 01:12 AM   #22
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I'm really enjoying Piscator's recent 007 contributions, among others.
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Old 07-31-2016, 07:44 AM   #23
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Quote:
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Lol. I'm counting this as you'll do the challenge!
If it involves 5 senses, I might have to bail. I only have 3 operating at 100%.

My nose has only worked for a few days in the last 8 eight years. Don't ask me why. Your guess is as good as mine. I'm leaning towards brain tumor. Unfortunately, one of the signs of a brain tumor is experiencing the smell of burnt toast. Since I can't smell it it, I'm fucked.

Otherwise, I'm color blind .... depending on the light. The poorer the lighting, the worse I become at distinguishing colors from one another. I still have to have people shop with me while purchasing clothes, otherwise I'd end up with pink underwear instead of white.
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Old 07-31-2016, 07:52 AM   #24
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AH mentioned the idea of a challenge parodying famous poems. Not sure if he is still considering hosting it. To DB or not to DB, that was the question.
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Old 07-31-2016, 08:32 AM   #25
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AH mentioned the idea of a challenge parodying famous poems. Not sure if he is still considering hosting it. To DB or not to DB, that was the question.
If no one else sets up a DB, I'll DB again mid-late August. How's that?
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