a dominate submissive?

Hi, im just wondering if anyone can shed some insight....i'm a sub and I know my place but i often find myself bored with taking orders... i love openminded play the kinkier the better...but i like to be controlled to control...i'm not sure if this is even a thing....:/

Yes.

You need two more words when you talk about what you're doing; Topping, and Bottoming. These refer to the actions that we enjoy. Someone who is bottoming is being done unto, someone who is topping is the doer.

Submission and Dominance refer to the relationship (sometimes) of the top and bottom. Or, the motives if you like.

Top and bottom can combine in any way with dom and sub. Often a dom is also a top, doing because they want to, on a submissive bottom who wants to please the dom-- but not always.

Someone can be a "Service Top" doing unto only for the sake of the bottom's enjoyment. Or they might be a Dominant Bottom, requiring to be done unto exactly the way they want.

Hope this helps!

lol helps a bit, it's hard to explain exactly what i mean.For me it doesn't matter if im on top or bottom im always aiming to please...it just i seem to have a domme nature and will try to take over......

lioncub_alison_ said:

lol helps a bit, it's hard to explain exactly what i mean.For me it doesn't matter if im on top or bottom im always aiming to please...it just i seem to have a domme nature and will try to take over......

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Well, technically, Dominants please themselves. If pleasing others is what a dominant wants to do, then that's what they do

But topping and bottoming are roles, not identities. You can switch back and forth as often as you want and still be submissive or dominant.

well ur no help...im even more confused q:

Confused about what?

lol wht category I fall into...lol

There isn't one single category for you. Or for anyone. Humans are more complicated than that.

That's why we have so many words in our language.

Someone give her a label, before I pick one.

Primalex said:

Someone give her a label, before I pick one.

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I'm thinking... You go right ahead.

lioncub_alison_ said:

Hi, im just wondering if anyone can shed some insight....i'm a sub and I know my place but i often find myself bored with taking orders... i love openminded play the kinkier the better...but i like to be controlled to control...i'm not sure if this is even a thing....:/

Click to expand...

You find yourself bored with taking orders?

ok that’s crazy to me...lol
but everyone has the things that gets to them...
that just happens to be one of mine...

So back to you...

you get bored with taking orders but you like it when your Dom/partner tells you to take control of him or her?

Stella_Omega said:

Well, technically, Dominants please themselves. If pleasing others is what a dominant wants to do, then that's what they do

But topping and bottoming are roles, not identities. You can switch back and forth as often as you want and still be submissive or dominant.

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you know the whole dozen monkeys on a dozen typewriters for a dozen years thing...in a way you have done that with basically four labels: top bottom sub dom in an inexhaustible supply of threads with tailored to the OP's queries..

each time you do that I see those four simple things in a slightly different cast and have little epiphanies. Sometimes I think whether it be a subject relevant here, religion, politics, money management or pick your discussion topic, the "hashed over" things are done so for a reason...they are the essence of all that follows.

I like back to basics stuff.

My epiphany here is that that statement above sounded autobiographically specific to you...(and others I have puzzled over lately as they have fallen outside my per-conceived paradigms)

I actually get this...although no one can "make" someone else orgasm exactly "making them" lie back and enjoy themselves when their impulse is to give is perversely and deliciously sadistic in its own right.

Very perceptive, query.

the "hashed over" things are done so for a reason...they are the essence of all that follows.

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yeah, that's the basics, to me. It's a Venn Diagram. And so many people only know about two of the corners...


And you have given me a little epiphany on my own: I love to bottom. I love it love it love it-- but it's really hard for me to receive without reciprocating. If someone is eating my pussy, I'm usually trying to wrap my leg so I can get my ankle between their legs and rub their crotch. Otherwise, I feel selfish and greedy. But I know damn well that when I'm licking someone's pussy, the last thing I want is for them to be distracted. I want them to fall into bottom space, just turn into a sensation sponge. And I don't think they're being selfish at all!

Lately, I've been asking to be tied down, so I can take what is offered without being distracted by my instinct to top. It helps!