Old 06-12-2012, 02:13 AM   #1
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Hidden Gems

Because we never finish a year, this is going to be a revolving, never ending place for people to highlight posts made by people in the bdsm forums that were clever, insightful, wise, or interesting. Be sure to credit the author of the post. If you'd like to comment on that person's comment, please go to the original thread they made it in and comment there, so as to keep this thread just for highlighting the best our forum has to offer.

Everyone is free to quote their favorites.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:16 AM   #2
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Stella_Omega - in A question of what to expect on this forum...

Well, sure. Which is why MORE words are better than few.

We can say "Blue" and disappoint every single person who looks at that blue, because each one of them was expecting a different version of blue. Turquoise blue. Cerulean blue. Grey-blue. Indigo blue. Midnight blue. Baby blue.

"I used to be cerulean blue, but as I got darker I became indigo blue, and I am still getting darker, and will probably become black eventually."

"Really? I used to be blue, myself, but I went purple and now I am totally red."

"What shade of red? Cherry, or blood? "

"Well, coral actually. With some orange overtones."

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Old 06-12-2012, 02:17 AM   #3
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"Be careful what you wish for." So many attributes that it's almost painful to recall.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:32 AM   #4
seela
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ecstaticsub on could you go vanilla?

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Vanilla does not mean sexually unadventurous, nor is is synonymous with boring sex. At least not in my mind.

I fell in love when I was 18 with my soul mate for life. Way back then I didn't even know what BDSM was. I was a consensual sex virgin. But I knew I was in love after the first date.

About 2 weeks into the relationship I thought it might be fun if he ate slightly firm Jello out of my pussy. He said he was sure, strawberry or lemon?

An open mind for FUN, whether it be kinky sex or vacations or where to live, or how to raise children or whose house to spend Christmas at is much much more important to me then a power exchange relationship or BDSM.

That connection, that emotion connection where I am his number one priority and he is mine, plus really and truly liking each other, being able to completely trust the other with secrets, and more important vulnerabilities ... that's love.

That kind of love I have learned in my life time is very very rare. I am very lucky, and very grateful that I have my husband as my husband for life.

So yeah, I love my chocolate sprinkles but they are nothing without my vanilla scoop.
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:25 AM   #5
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CutieMouse in BDSM vs Lovemaking

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[adding to the hijack]

Cynical view of control -

The one with the most control in a relationship, is the one willing to walk out the door first [if necessary].

[/adding to the hijack]
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Old 06-14-2012, 04:14 AM   #6
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The right to "choose a traditional life" I'm sorry, will go on whether I go to bat for it or not.

There's plenty of ingrained messaging of bullshit that my family gave me that I had to give up or get over or fight with daily to be a full-fledged adult. I also accept that the job of feminism is much bigger than "make me comfortable."

People seem to be conflating being able to choose something with everyone applauding the choice you make.

Guess what, living a life of authenticity in a fake consumer culture is hard work, and nobody hands out trophies and you will probably lose friends and lose economic opportunities and have to make decisions about closets, and survivial-based decisions that are not pretty. Your reward? A life of authenticity. That's IT. I'm grateful every single day not that I have support, but that I have developed the brass cojones to care less than ever about it.

I'm still seeing a lot more people wondering what's wrong with a woman of child bearing age who does not define herself as "a mom" more than anything else.

The only defense the right to "choose a traditional life" needs is the very real question "are we going to continue to live a life of distribution that makes two normal person incomes inadequate in the west, are we still going to consider parenting by middle class white women a calling and parenting by underclass women of all colors a burden?" Because that's the national narrative on reproduction.

Right now, choice is becoming less and less of a choice for more and more people, and the "choice" of learning to read or raising her own children in safety is not something most women get to have. It's even in limited supply in the west.

I have a problem with that. For most people it's never been a choice. The working mother is not a recent invention, it's the norm.

I have a problem with worrying about whether feminists think I'm cool and my sex life is "ok" or not when we should ALL be worrying about whether women are 90whateverpervcent of the world's poorest poor, and I want to genuinely give those women the resources they want instead of importing my outside agenda and making help a kind of colonialism -

and those are the dialogues I want to enter into with feminism. Well, certain kinds of feminism, the kind that hasn't gone completely up its own privileged Western butt.

I absolutely pine for a world in which people can genuinely make their own decisions on their relationship to gendered behavior. If you think that the tilt is not heavily in the direction of "tradition" you are failing to see that you live in an echo chamber of privilege. This is not even a question most people are in the position to enjoy pondering.
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Old 07-04-2012, 02:10 PM   #7
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eastern sun in the marks of a slave

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I've learned something in the last few days. . .

Jealousy is predicated on the perception that someone else is having more fun than you are.

Therefore, those burning flames can be eased, if you a. focus on your own pleasure (i.e. increase your own fun) or b. look closely to see whether it's really true that the others are having fun.

If they're not really having fun, it changes immediately and you even feel some compassion for their unhappiness.

And if you start having fun, you just don't mind as much what they do.
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Old 07-04-2012, 03:25 PM   #8
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Quote:
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eastern sun in the marks of a slave
E.S. is describing envy, which is wanting what others have got. Money, happiness, whatever.

Jealousy is the conviction that you and you alone have the right to another person's body, mind, destiny.
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:30 PM   #9
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Stella_Omega in The Isolated Blurt Thread

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You do not have to watch it.

You don't have to watch all of it.

You don't have to keep watching for one single second longer than you want to.

This is not a test. There is no test of you being cured. That doesn't exist. When a leg is broken, you don't walk on it until it can be walked on. You don't walk on it before it's healed. When it's your heart and soul, you'll know the healing is good when you can trust your heart and your soul-- for yourself, in the now and the future.

Forgiving someone means that you've decided to stop letting their past shit impact you any longer. It doesn't mean you have to endure any more shit from them, even postumously.

EDIT TO ADD;

I literally have only learned this model of forgiveness this year. And what a difference in my heart.
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Old 10-21-2012, 11:57 AM   #10
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Curious in Cali in Forgiveness

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Real forgiveness to me has usually felt more like acceptance than anything else. Given the circumstances and human nature, it could not have been any different. That it happened, and can't be changed. What you can change is your course of action from that point on, and self preservation is your responsibility.

Words aside, people always show you who they are, it is simply our job to believe them when they do.
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