"You're home early, Brandon." observed Bethany from the den as I entered the house. "Thought you were supposed to be out late?"
"Shut up, Beth," I snarled as I stormed past. I ignored her retort and took the stairs two at a time. I stomped down the hall to my room. I slammed the door behind me and slung my suit jacket to the floor. I tugged my tie loose and threw it angrily across the room.
I felt a sudden urge to smash something. Using what little sense I had left, I picked up a pillow from my bed and began punching it. Again and again I slammed my fists into it, pinning it against the mattress. The fluffy target absorbed each blow with a soft "whump" as I channeled my emotional turmoil into it.
Several minutes later, I sank to my knees. I still felt terrible, but I was too tired to lift my arms. I knelt there and heaved great gasps of air into my lungs and blinked at the tears in my eyes. If I had the breath to do so, I thought I might cry. Or perhaps laugh like a madman.
This was not how I expected tonight to go. Tonight was supposed to be a big night for Caroline and me. Tonight was supposed to be our first time. Tonight was supposed to be fun and exciting. Instead, everything had gone sideways. Instead of fun and excitement, I had humiliation, anger, and confusion.
As I caught my breath, I knew that I couldn't keep this to myself. I had to get this out of my head. I had to talk to someone.
Unfortunately, the obvious choice was not an easy one: Beth. My sister and I didn't talk much, which passed for peace these days. That was actually an improvement; we'd spent much of middle school in open conflict. Silent coexistence was certainly preferable by comparison.
But it was a far cry from our early days. Beth had been born four minutes before me, making her the elder twin. We'd been thick as thieves back then. We did everything together as kids. I'd considered her my best friend.
But though we shared similar features - most notably the almond-shaped eyes from our mother - our personalities began to diverge as we matured. Beth was always the bold, adventurous one, whereas I favored quieter pursuits. She was the outgoing and popular one. I was more the stereotypical nerd, favoring books and computers to parties and people. Now seniors in high school, Beth was the captain of the drill team and first runner-up for homecoming queen whereas I chaired the math team and was lead trombone in the band.
I'd actually been her "little" brother freshman year. Beth hit puberty fast. She was among the first girls to develop womanly curves and she hit 5'8" by 9th grade. I didn't hit my growth spurt till sophomore year, whereupon I hit 6' and started to fill out my skinny frame. Consequently, for a while there, she was taller than I was.
Of course, these differences made her well-placed to advise me. Being short, skinny, and shy till just recently, I wasn't exactly a magnet for women. I eventually got taller and filled out, but I am still a bit shy. I only recently started dating. Caroline had been my only girlfriend and she no more experienced than I.
Beth, by contrast, was in a completely different world. Physically, even I had to admit she was gorgeous. Those early curves had never really stopped developing, giving her one of the biggest racks in school. Countless hours of high kick practice meant her rocking bod towered atop some killer legs. Combined with her bright smile and outgoing personality, she was part of the social elite in school. She dated whenever and whomever she wanted.
I sighed. I didn't relish the idea of sharing my situation with her. But I couldn't think of anyone who would know more about relationships than she. Resigning myself to my fate, I trudged downstairs to look for her.
"Shut up, Beth," I snarled as I stormed past. I ignored her retort and took the stairs two at a time. I stomped down the hall to my room. I slammed the door behind me and slung my suit jacket to the floor. I tugged my tie loose and threw it angrily across the room.
I felt a sudden urge to smash something. Using what little sense I had left, I picked up a pillow from my bed and began punching it. Again and again I slammed my fists into it, pinning it against the mattress. The fluffy target absorbed each blow with a soft "whump" as I channeled my emotional turmoil into it.
Several minutes later, I sank to my knees. I still felt terrible, but I was too tired to lift my arms. I knelt there and heaved great gasps of air into my lungs and blinked at the tears in my eyes. If I had the breath to do so, I thought I might cry. Or perhaps laugh like a madman.
This was not how I expected tonight to go. Tonight was supposed to be a big night for Caroline and me. Tonight was supposed to be our first time. Tonight was supposed to be fun and exciting. Instead, everything had gone sideways. Instead of fun and excitement, I had humiliation, anger, and confusion.
As I caught my breath, I knew that I couldn't keep this to myself. I had to get this out of my head. I had to talk to someone.
Unfortunately, the obvious choice was not an easy one: Beth. My sister and I didn't talk much, which passed for peace these days. That was actually an improvement; we'd spent much of middle school in open conflict. Silent coexistence was certainly preferable by comparison.
But it was a far cry from our early days. Beth had been born four minutes before me, making her the elder twin. We'd been thick as thieves back then. We did everything together as kids. I'd considered her my best friend.
But though we shared similar features - most notably the almond-shaped eyes from our mother - our personalities began to diverge as we matured. Beth was always the bold, adventurous one, whereas I favored quieter pursuits. She was the outgoing and popular one. I was more the stereotypical nerd, favoring books and computers to parties and people. Now seniors in high school, Beth was the captain of the drill team and first runner-up for homecoming queen whereas I chaired the math team and was lead trombone in the band.
I'd actually been her "little" brother freshman year. Beth hit puberty fast. She was among the first girls to develop womanly curves and she hit 5'8" by 9th grade. I didn't hit my growth spurt till sophomore year, whereupon I hit 6' and started to fill out my skinny frame. Consequently, for a while there, she was taller than I was.
Of course, these differences made her well-placed to advise me. Being short, skinny, and shy till just recently, I wasn't exactly a magnet for women. I eventually got taller and filled out, but I am still a bit shy. I only recently started dating. Caroline had been my only girlfriend and she no more experienced than I.
Beth, by contrast, was in a completely different world. Physically, even I had to admit she was gorgeous. Those early curves had never really stopped developing, giving her one of the biggest racks in school. Countless hours of high kick practice meant her rocking bod towered atop some killer legs. Combined with her bright smile and outgoing personality, she was part of the social elite in school. She dated whenever and whomever she wanted.
I sighed. I didn't relish the idea of sharing my situation with her. But I couldn't think of anyone who would know more about relationships than she. Resigning myself to my fate, I trudged downstairs to look for her.