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Old 03-19-2013, 11:52 PM   #151
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Oh, no, please don't think for a second that you upset me or hurt my feelings and I don't sense that you were patronizing at all : )

You make many excellent points in your reply. Outstanding would be a better word : )

- "I just get reactive depression: if someone calls me out or if I've confided in them, they turn round and call me a faggot."

Oh, if you want to see the 'complete bitch' in me just call one of my friends a faggot in the derogatory way. The claws will come out (Usually by having one of my big male friends take care of it, hehehehe). Being called Faggot in a teasing way is totally different. I so very much know what you are talking about.

- "My very pretty friend Emma who is also mtf, was at a party where her 'friends' outed her to complete strangers. Nice. She was really upset by that but I was just plain angry when I heard."

That is horrible. I'm so very sorry to hear that.

You know what my pillar is? If a friend decides to no longer be your friend because you 'come out' they weren't your friend in the first place and they are not the kind of person anyone would want to be friends with. If they are bigoted towards you being who you are who else are they bigoted towards? Minorities? (which is a disgusting and revolting, let alone disrespectful and completely absurd term) Women? Different religious points of view? People with freckles? Those who prefer pancakes over waffles? These people are empty vessels. You are not : )

- "So I think it helps people who read the thread that, if they are depressed, or angry or upset in whatever way, can see that they are people here who are sympathetic and empathetic to their needs and emotions."

I couldn't agree more. And you wrote that so perfectly. (HUG)

The only thing I am pissed about is I don't know how to give you a rose back. I sooooo want that icon thingie, hehehe : )
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Old 03-21-2013, 08:58 PM   #152
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Now I'm back! Officially! I was afraid that I'd have to go through the tedious process of having to get 100 posts for my avatar again! LOL!
Hi Stacy welcome back, I returned today after a long break, pleased to see the bickering trolling and suchlike hasn't changed
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Old 03-24-2013, 11:21 PM   #153
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This warms my heart : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epDPui27QZQ
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Old 03-26-2013, 04:30 PM   #154
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It's weird how my transition has changed me, not just physically but rather my emotions and desires. I think I've become more fragile of late - more sensitive and anything is inclined to catch me by surprise. I think it's the testosterone dropping away but I'll get that checked.

I used to follow a girl on Tumblr who posted hot gifs and pics: tasteful mostly, full of passion, but today I tipped - I just couldn't watch anymore. I couldn't bear to watch a gif of a woman kissing her man with such passion: their bodies entwined, their lips hungry for each others mouth, and because I want that so much myself I cried. I don't want simply to be soft and warm, and to lay my body open to a man, but to feel the energy of the Earth in my veins and being and soul. I want my heart in pieces and for my every breath to be for that moment, when time slows to a heartbeat's rhythm.
I saw the passion of those few seconds gif replayed over and over. Love: over and over; and over and over it said to me 'You don't have this body' 'You are something less than this' 'This is not for you'
I think I've probably said enough. I'll go back to my books and music and try to put this out of my mind but knowing I never will. I have to try or go mad.
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:00 PM   #155
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It's weird how my transition has changed me, not just physically but rather my emotions and desires. I think I've become more fragile of late - more sensitive and anything is inclined to catch me by surprise. I think it's the testosterone dropping away but I'll get that checked.

I used to follow a girl on Tumblr who posted hot gifs and pics: tasteful mostly, full of passion, but today I tipped - I just couldn't watch anymore. I couldn't bear to watch a gif of a woman kissing her man with such passion: their bodies entwined, their lips hungry for each others mouth, and because I want that so much myself I cried. I don't want simply to be soft and warm, and to lay my body open to a man, but to feel the energy of the Earth in my veins and being and soul. I want my heart in pieces and for my every breath to be for that moment, when time slows to a heartbeat's rhythm.
I saw the passion of those few seconds gif replayed over and over. Love: over and over; and over and over it said to me 'You don't have this body' 'You are something less than this' 'This is not for you'
I think I've probably said enough. I'll go back to my books and music and try to put this out of my mind but knowing I never will. I have to try or go mad.
*HUGS* hunny, to begin with put it in perspective, what you see on the internet in gifs and pictures, isn't anymore real than the kind of romance found in mills and boon paperbacks.

Real love and relationships involves elbows getting in the way, laundry and the spot that decides to break out, on the morning you wake up when you have a date later that day.

The point is while looking for the perfect romance you can let real life and love pass you by unnoticed. Try not to strive for what others have, or fake for internets sake, but find what is right for you. Get out make friends and have a laugh, the best therapy there is, and as I said on another thread, hormone therapy will cause mood swings, its unavoidable, just learn to ride them out and accept they are not real.

Your always welcome to message me if you want
take care xx
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Old 03-27-2013, 03:01 AM   #156
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Thanks - a sleep on it has helped of course but... Oh well. It was just the look in her eye for a split second that said it all... But yea, elbows and failed alarm clocks and snoring are the realities! Nevertheless it is those tiny precious moments of utter bless that peak out from all the mundane that define the mood...
Today though I'm back home - 'home home' and happily for me, a girl's best friend is her Mum so it'll be good to spend some time with her over the hols, between the bickering and the l-o-n-g stories about what has been going on whilst I've been at Uni, there's no place like it.
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:45 PM   #157
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Stacy!! I found these and thought of you... wherever you are

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Old 03-28-2013, 07:47 PM   #158
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Stacy!! I found these and thought of you... wherever you are

fab shoes, I have a pair in red and another in black, just wish my legs were as nice as the models.
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:08 AM   #159
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The Hate Debate Radio 1

UK-based radio show from Paris Lees about prejudice on iPlayer so you can catch it online here - but only for a couple of days

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01rdz78
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:13 PM   #160
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Stacy!! I found these and thought of you... wherever you are

Those are absolutely wonderful!
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:20 PM   #161
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Those are absolutely wonderful!
I'd be happy to go shopping with you
How ru doing hun? XX
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:25 PM   #162
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I'd be happy to go shopping with you
How ru doing hun? XX
I'd love to go shopping with you dear!

<3

I've been doing well. Busy, but well!

How are you?

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Old 03-30-2013, 07:50 PM   #163
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I'm good - back in my old bed for Easter, listening to music... chilled... sleepy
*n-night*
write me x
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:28 PM   #164
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Night love!
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:42 PM   #165
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I have always loved the way Sigourney Weaver does her hair!

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Old 06-12-2013, 06:07 PM   #166
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So there's loads of mtf on YouTube and I really admire people who are brave enough to put themselves out there and hope they don't later regret it. I'm sure this lady won't and I found it very moving

http://youtu.be/ZONpd3aiSy0
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Old 06-13-2013, 02:37 PM   #167
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I have to find more time to watch more on youtube....I still have much to learn. I found myself smiling as I watched this one. She just exudes happiness....and her smile is just so damn infectious!! Thanks Sticks.
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Old 06-13-2013, 03:03 PM   #168
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TJ... if there is something you need to talk to me about and you can PM me anytime.
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Old 07-02-2013, 10:32 PM   #169
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Old 07-03-2013, 06:43 PM   #170
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God damn right!
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Old 07-03-2013, 06:48 PM   #171
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This sums up how I feel, though I don't know how I would describe myself, am I a drag queen? a CD? a TV? TG curious? not sure, think maybe if I was a lot younger then I may have taken a different path.

All I can say is that being en femme so much for work as well as pleasure, I am comfortable being who I am whatever that is
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Old 07-03-2013, 06:54 PM   #172
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This sums up how I feel, though I don't know how I would describe myself, am I a drag queen? a CD? a TV? TG curious? not sure, think maybe if I was a lot younger then I may have taken a different path.

All I can say is that being en femme so much for work as well as pleasure, I am comfortable being who I am whatever that is
God damned right Silky! I think people beat themselves up trying to be something they're not: like they have to prove something. But trying to find out who you are... well I guess that can take a lifetime... maybe... idk
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:56 PM   #173
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This sums up how I feel, though I don't know how I would describe myself, am I a drag queen? a CD? a TV? TG curious? not sure, think maybe if I was a lot younger then I may have taken a different path.

All I can say is that being en femme so much for work as well as pleasure, I am comfortable being who I am whatever that is
*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*

Keep fighting the good fight, sister.

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God damned right Silky! I think people beat themselves up trying to be something they're not: like they have to prove something. But trying to find out who you are... well I guess that can take a lifetime... maybe... idk
But we're on the journey of self-discovery, and the journey of a thousand miles beings with but a single step.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:57 PM   #174
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Believe me, I know there's more to being a woman than wearing beautiful clothes and shoes, but damn if I don't love feeling smooth!!!

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Old 07-04-2013, 08:04 PM   #175
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Believe me, I know there's more to being a woman than wearing beautiful clothes and shoes, but damn if I don't love feeling smooth!!!

Wow, love this one. Those shoes are gorgeous as well!
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