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Old 05-24-2012, 07:45 PM   #1
Tzara
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Why Your Erotic Poem Isn't

It is a truism to state that the vast majority of self-labeled "erotic poems" posted here at Lit are neither erotic nor much of a poem. There are, undoubtedly, many different reasons for this, but probably the most common is that the typical author knows little and cares less about the techniques of poetry, preferring to simply write down a series of lines that graphically and uninventively describe some sexual act, something like
You are so wet
I slip my stiff rod deep in
Fuck you harder, pet
Than you ever have been.
Descriptive language, if any is present (often, none is), is comprised of the hoariest of clichés—erections are "like steel" or "hard as rock," vaginas are "dripping with sweet nectar," kisses are "tender" or "savage." The acts and actors being described are usually porn film fantasies with anatomical characteristics well into the 99th percentile in terms of size, foreplay is non-existent, and refractory periods unheard of.

Perhaps that is what most readers want. Perhaps that is all most Lit poets want as well—to get someone to give the poem a five and leave a comment saying "REALLY HOT!!!!" I sincerely hope not, but that may be the case.

In the hope that at least some people are interested in trying to write better erotic poetry, I'd like to once again try and discuss the subject. Among other things, I'd like to talk about what kinds of things you find erotic in poems, about what the term "erotic poem" means to you (e.g., is an erotic poem simply a poem about sex or is it a poem that is sexually arousing?) and, particularly, try and discuss examples of what you think of as good erotic poetry.

To start, cite an example of a poem you consider to be a good example of erotic poetry. Tell us why you think the poem is erotic and how the workings of the poem make it so. The example can be from non-Lit poets (my first example is going to be a poem by Dorianne Laux, for example), or from a poem posted here at Lit. If it's a Lit poem, please only quote short excerpts in your post and link to the complete poem so that the poet can delete the Lit poem if they want to without leaving another copy of it on site. If you quote a non-Lit poem, please cite the author and source.

That's it for now. I'll be back to talk about Ms. Laux.
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:22 PM   #2
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I'm with you. So-called "erotic" poetry that is little more than porn with line breaks excites me not. It has quite the opposite effect. There are erotic poems here that I find well written AND sexy. Bogusbrig, for example, has been writing some good graphic stuff here lately: I think his L'Origine du monde in your Ekphrastic thread is an excellent example of how a poem can be sexually graphic and poetic. Too bad most people who write what they think is erotic usually produce poems that are tepid and boring, especially if the reader has been at Lit for more than..um..a week or two. And believe me aften ten years here I've seen enough of that crap to last a few thousand lifetimes.

I usually love the poems that get the message across more with allusion and interesting word choices. It's sorta like why lingerie is usually more alluring than the full monty.

Anyway. Just stating my agreement. Carry on.
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Old 05-24-2012, 09:12 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzara View Post
It is a truism to state that the vast majority of self-labeled "erotic poems" posted here at Lit are neither erotic nor much of a poem. There are, undoubtedly, many different reasons for this, but probably the most common is that the typical author knows little and cares less about the techniques of poetry, preferring to simply write down a series of lines that graphically and uninventively describe some sexual act, something like
You are so wet
I slip my stiff rod deep in
Fuck you harder, pet
Than you ever have been.
Descriptive language, if any is present (often, none is), is comprised of the hoariest of clichés—erections are "like steel" or "hard as rock," vaginas are "dripping with sweet nectar," kisses are "tender" or "savage." The acts and actors being described are usually porn film fantasies with anatomical characteristics well into the 99th percentile in terms of size, foreplay is non-existent, and refractory periods unheard of.

Perhaps that is what most readers want. Perhaps that is all most Lit poets want as well—to get someone to give the poem a five and leave a comment saying "REALLY HOT!!!!" I sincerely hope not, but that may be the case.

In the hope that at least some people are interested in trying to write better erotic poetry, I'd like to once again try and discuss the subject. Among other things, I'd like to talk about what kinds of things you find erotic in poems, about what the term "erotic poem" means to you (e.g., is an erotic poem simply a poem about sex or is it a poem that is sexually arousing?) and, particularly, try and discuss examples of what you think of as good erotic poetry.

To start, cite an example of a poem you consider to be a good example of erotic poetry. Tell us why you think the poem is erotic and how the workings of the poem make it so. The example can be from non-Lit poets (my first example is going to be a poem by Dorianne Laux, for example), or from a poem posted here at Lit. If it's a Lit poem, please only quote short excerpts in your post and link to the complete poem so that the poet can delete the Lit poem if they want to without leaving another copy of it on site. If you quote a non-Lit poem, please cite the author and source.

That's it for now. I'll be back to talk about Ms. Laux.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

being much more articulate than I, you have said what I have been trying to say in feedback for a while. even WickedEve had a list of words that are so overused they should not be used in an erotic poem. ou have just given glorious examples. When I see the words "shaft, dripping with nectar, hard, stiff, etc, I just back click. Ick. Here in America, it is truly sad that politics merit more money in the coffers than education does, but that is the way it is. Vocabulary is , it seems, atthe bottom of the list in every class.

When I was in HS, I won Latin Vocab awards 2 years in a row in the Junior Clasical league. First Place both times. I was so proud, lol. Latin teaches word roots and the like. It is a good thing to know and I don't think it is taught in school anywhere anymore. Irrelevant, I suppose.

So, when I do write, I at least make an attempt to use words that aren't in the top 100. It makes people attempting to write "good" poetry look really ignorant, or at the very least, lazy.

Thanks for your post, maybe someone will learn something about writing from it. Most of the poets that I gove FB to almost always send me hatemail, even when I am delicate and kind, they just refuse to see what is "wrong" and therefore, they refuse to learn or grow.

This forum was once a great place to learn then it became a loitering ground for attention whores and went to hell, that was when we lost o ur good poets, or some just left to live their lives. My muse vacated me and I stopped writing for over 3 years but have since been trying to write and it is coming back slowly, but now, I am findig myself using some of those worn out words and lines. I have to stop, slap myself, and try again.

Great advice, Tzara. I hope some of the newer visitors here learn from it.



maria

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Old 05-24-2012, 09:18 PM   #4
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Most first timers/new poets on Literotica write what turns them on or someone specific, which leaves others who read it feeling cold since they're not privy to the poet's point view. I don't find sex words in "artistic" line breaks masquerading as an erotic poem particularly sexy. Like Angeline states, she finds it has the opposite effect and I agree with her.

I think Annaswirls and her alts had/has some of the most erotic poems on Literotica because of the way she weaves emotion in her poetry. I remember often reading a poem by her and although it wouldn't be considered erotic to others or her meaning for it to be erotic, I'd still find her imagery arousing.
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Old 05-24-2012, 09:20 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neonurotic View Post
Most first timers/new poets on Literotica write what turns them on or someone specific, which leaves others who read it feeling cold since they're not privy to the poet's point view. I don't find sex words in "artistic" line breaks masquerading as an erotic poem particularly sexy. Like Angeline states, she finds it has the opposite effect and I agree with her.

I think Annaswirls and her alts had/has some of the most erotic poems on Literotica because of the way she weaves emotion in her poetry. I remember often reading a poem by her and although it wouldn't be considered erotic to others or her meaning for it to be erotic, I'd still find her imagery arousing.
Anna is one in a million. Her poem, Chiromancer was my very favorite of hers, of all her alts, but she has pulled it and I miss it. If you speak with her, have her drop a copy in my inbox.

luv ya

~ m

eta-

it is funny you mention how you enjoythe emotion in her poetry. I have been slammed over emotion in mine, by several people. I just ignore them and write what I feel. To me, poetry without emotion is sterile and ugly and on another thread, when I mentioned someone must have an MFA in creative writing, that is usually what I find in their poetry, sterility and over edited crap. Just my opinion, but it's mine and I own it




here is one by sp that is one of my favorite erotic poems. Just read it, and you'll see why

Mona Spice

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Old 05-24-2012, 09:23 PM   #6
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This is why Guy de Maupassant's
"Virtue In The Ballet" and "The Thief"
both 20 times more erotic than many
of the stories posted.

Or "Anna On The Neck" by Chekov.

and

Lolita, a girl who seduced and was,
while 250,000 voyeurs like myself
looked on (first printing).

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Old 05-24-2012, 09:25 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghost_girl View Post
Anna is one in a million. Her poem, Chiromancer was my very favorite of hers, of all her alts, but she has pulled it and I miss it. If you speak with her, have her drop a copy in my inbox.

luv ya

~ m
I don't have contact with her. She one time sent me an email last year, but I never heard from her again. She seems to buzz by the PF&D whenever I'm absent for awhile. Her alt Sibilaire wrote an erotic poem I favorited, but of course it's gone like Chiromancer. You can try doing a search for it in the forums if you if you remember lines. I found my crow poem that way.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ghost_girl View Post
it is funny you mention how you enjoy the emotion in her poetry. I have been slammed over emotion in mine, by several people. I just ignore them and write what I feel. To me, poetry without emotion is sterile and ugly and on another thread, when I mentioned someone must have an MFA in creative writing, that is usually what I find in their poetry, sterility and over edited crap. Just my opinion, but it's mine and I own it
I'm glad you ignore negative feedback on writing poetry with emotion. It makes me wonder how a reader is supposed to feel something about a poem if it's clinical and emotionless. If we're not moved by a poem, what's the point of writing it?
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Old 05-24-2012, 10:10 PM   #8
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Let me start this post with confession—I am male and heterosexual, so it is perhaps unsurprising that the erotic poems I find most appealing are written in female voice and speak about the female narrator’s sexual feelings for men.

I’ve always been surprised, if not shocked, that women sometimes find me attractive and, might even, geez, want to have sex with me, so poems about women feeling randy for men, especially when written with the vaguely imagined “you” as object are, assuming they’re competently written, something that flips my switch.

So the first poem I want to talk about is by Dorianne Laux (whose surname, I just learned today, is properly pronounced “lox”). This is from her first published book (Awake, BOA, 1990; republished by Eastern Washington University Press in 2007):
China

From behind he looks like a man
I once loved, that hangdog slouch
to his jeans, a sweater vest, his neck
thick-veined as a horse cock, a halo
of chopped curls.

He orders coffee and searches
his pockets, first in front, then
from behind, a long finger sliding
into the slitted denim the way that man
slipped his thumb into me one summer
as we lay after love, our freckled
bodies two pale starfish on the sheets.

Semen leaked and pooled in his palm
as he moved his thumb slowly, not
to excite me, just to affirm
he’d been there.

I have loved other men since, taken
them into my mouth like a warm vowel,
lain beneath them and watched their irises
float like small worlds in their open eyes.

But this man pressed his thumb
toward the tail of my spine
as if he were entering
China, or a ripe papaya,

so that now
when I think of love,
I think of this.
The poem starts out in a pretty straightforward manner but is suddenly sexualized by the phrase his neck / thick-veined as a horse cock. What I think is especially sexual about this is that the narrator is looking at someone she doesn’t even know—it’s just some guy in a checkout line, perhaps, who reminds her of a former lover. The whole image is intentionally overwrought—unless the poor guy has his neck veins bulging like those on a stallion’s erection—but it tells us the narrator saw this guy and experienced a big-time flashback about another experience.

Then this:
from behind, a long finger sliding
into the slitted denim the way that man
slipped his thumb into me one summer
as we lay after love
followed by
Semen leaked and pooled in his palm
as he moved his thumb slowly, not
to excite me, just to affirm
he’d been there.
Extremely vivid description, but notably not about the sex itself. Rather the aftermath, and how the narrator felt about that and (by implication) how the unnamed man felt about that. Visual and evocative, in a much more complex way than just describing a sexual encounter.

Shit. I feel I can’t describe this to y’all in a way that communicates what I feel about this poem. But this is more what I mean when I want to talk about “erotic poetry.”

Hey. I’ll work on this. G’night for now.
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Old 05-24-2012, 10:12 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neonurotic View Post
I think Annaswirls and her alts had/has some of the most erotic poems on Literotica because of the way she weaves emotion in her poetry.
My planned second poem is by one of her alts.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:18 AM   #10
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In general, I believe women write better erotic poetry than men do. I think it's because they regard sex differently and add dimensions to it that typically men don't think of.

I came across a poem by Auden, "The Platonic Blow." Although he denied authorship, most believe that was because he wrote it in 1948. I suspect he was more secretive about his homosexuality back then. It had appeal, I think, only because it was shocking at the time.

I've hyperlinked it because it's a longer poem, and some may not be interested in it for that reason or because of the subject matter. I'm not gay, but if I were, I doubt I would have thought much about it for the reason I alluded to initially. Except for some repeated internal rhyming words (which I think he does too much of by the way) I found the poem pretty one dimensional.

Sweet Oblivion also writes in a very formal way. I believe erotic poetry should be more spontaneous, something just shy of stream of consciousness, but with craft. That said, there are exceptions. I thought the following poem by her playful and imaginative in spite of a couple of lines that that missed the mark in my opinion:

Oh, sir! Oh, sir!
bySweetOblivion©

Was that an 'Oh' to show that she's dismayed?
A 'sir' to vent her lack of satisfaction?
Or does her gasping blush show she's displayed
Herself to really stimulate attraction?
It could be just a cry of sheer surprise
To find her breath has been taken away;
Or is it an abstraction to disguise
The fact that she is already at play?
She need not look to sense a different 'eau',
Flowing gently from her vestal creek,
And her "oh" is a whispered plea to go
And delight in this waterfall; to speak
At such a precious moment will ensure
Her words are limited: "Oh, sir! Oh, sir!"

P. S.

I just saw this by Chipbutty who posted it yesterday:



his lips caress the shaping of the word
cerveza
where liquid light all gold and beaded with chill enough to make a nipple rise
spills over tongues and seeks the deep pink path
involuntary swallow
an erection of pale, fine hairs
i stroke the cold and slender neck
taste the errant dribble

Last edited by greenmountaineer : 05-25-2012 at 07:28 AM. Reason: P. S. Chipbutty
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:30 AM   #11
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Critiques for my effort?

There are some fair points to all this. As i am new here, would you be able to let me know how I am going? I've not been judged on my poetry since high school. Good or bad I'm interested. Don't want you to blow sunshine up my ass - I want to learn

Thanks in advance MF


Bound To Be…


As you lie across our bed in our room off the hall…You hear my footsteps as they fall.

Your pulse quickens to a rapid beat. With short shallow breaths, you feel inside you, a rising heat.

You wonder suddenly; what will I do? When I finally come around the corner and onto you...

Will I seduce you with my eyes from the bedroom door? Kiss your neck and have you beg for more?

You throw your hand up to your lips. To stifle the heat, smouldering up from your hips.

I lean myself up against the wall. The images I’m seeing; are making me fall.

Fall into a deepening trance. So much so, that I fail to see your evocative glance.

How long I wonder, have you been waiting there? I can not tell by your smiling stare.

No matter now – for you are known. You can see that my passion has also grown.

Down on your knees, you crawl to me. Wanting me to take your body, to places that only I can see.

Like a minx, you stretch and purr aloud with delight. You do create such a splendid, sensuous sight.

I want to please you, and you receive all I can give. You are my air that I need to live.

You ask; “So my dear Sir, of me, what do you wish? You hold my heart, so I am yours in all of this.”

As if a pet well trained, you start by kissing along my feet. Working your way up slowly till our lips finally meet.

I reward you sweetly, my promise I do keep – my kisses for you are long and deep.

Your sweet nectar starts dripping from your loins like milk. Trickling down your thighs, like a finely spun silk.

To hear you shudder in gasping delight, I know that I have done well. Your moans of pleasure, of contentment - they tell.

I stroke your hair softly and whisper quiet and sweet, while you are still bowed in front of my feet.

Your mouth moving softly you engulf the pulsing flow. I murmur quietly “My one true darling, I do love you so.”

A tear gently traces a path from your cheek and ends its run on the ground. For us, nothing is greater nor more blessed be; than to be to each other – bound.
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:08 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
In general, I believe women write better erotic poetry than men do. I think it's because they regard sex differently and add dimensions to it that typically men don't think of.
I don't think I have much going for me as a writer of erotica, I find it difficult and think on the whole you are right about women writing the best erotica for reasons you state. However, that was a challenge so I spent the last couple of hours reworking an old poem I have never managed to satisfactorily finish but feel I have now. To a degree anyway.

I do think the best erotica, more often than not, is when sex is approached obliquely or is alluded to, though I know I have read explicite poetry that does work but can't think of any off hand.

I think it is anticipation that so whets the appetite or what is happening off screen so to speak, wondering what those muffled sighs are through the door or what caused the dishevelled hair or grass stained knees. At a fundemental level, the mechanics of sex is either boring or ridiculously absurd. I can't think of anything funnier than witnessing sex, watching a man's arse jiggle like a rabbits.

Of course, part taking oneself is a seriously enjoyable matter but does anyone else really want to know about your own perceived prowess?


ryokan

in Starbucks in Harijuka
you and your cappuccino foam moustache
I shaved with my razor tongue

you shied away from
this public display of intimacy
as though it revealed too much

like the first time I saw you naked
you hadn’t hands enough
to hide what was common knowledge
only between you and your mirror

if I could have read Japanese
I would have known the sign on the door
was in place of a lock

I might have noticed the silhouette
through the rickety paper door
of someone articulating their self
to manicure those private parts

later you might not have shrugged
when your breast fell free
that hot August night on the balcony
when the ryokan was all at sleep

the smell of cedar wafting
on a cacophony of cricket song
and your inability to speak
as your yakita slipped from your shoulders

your endearing embarrassment in the morning
when the cleaning lady’s head
peered around the open door
my hand protecting your battered cunt

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Old 05-25-2012, 09:25 AM   #13
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i'll have to go hunt out examples another time, but - for me - erotica is something that leaves us to fill in lot of the spaces with our own imaginations. our imaginations will almost always do a better job of creating a frisson than a poem that attempts to hit our sexay.

way too much that's labeled 'erotica' is simply porn, and poor porn at that. poor porn, chopped into lines, comprised of more clichés than a greetings card, and leaving me cold, wishing i'd never read it and wasted however long that took to do.

i rarely label anything i write as 'erotic', since it's something i suspect is pretty personal to the individual reader - what'll turn one on will leave another unmoved except (perhaps) to tears of boredom.

as far as i'm concerned, erotica is about suggestion, implication, and for me to read one and consider it erotic it needs to engage the senses... whose poem was that about the 'groynes'? the one where the movement of water and stuff made it, imo, a most erotic piece....
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Old 05-25-2012, 10:18 AM   #14
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Sharon Olds is so intrisically sexy that she can even make Quakerism, snails or composting toilets sexy. Don't believe me? Check this out.

The Connoisseuse of Slugs

When I was a connoisseuse of slugs
I would part the ivy leaves, and look for the
naked jelly of those gold bodies,
translucent strangers glistening along the
stones, slowly, their gelatinous bodies
at my mercy. Made mostly of water, they would shrivel
to nothing if they were sprinkled with salt,
but I was not interested in that. What I liked
was to draw aside the ivy, breathe the
odor of the wall, and stand there in silence
until the slug forgot I was there
and sent its antennae up out of its
head, the glimmering umber horns
rising like telescopes, until finally the
sensitive knobs would pop out the
ends, delicate and intimate. Years later,
when I first saw a naked man,
I gasped with pleasure to see that quiet
mystery reenacted, the slow
elegant being coming out of hiding and
gleaming in the dark air, eager and so
trusting you could weep.
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Old 05-25-2012, 10:53 PM   #15
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I love exploring the sensations of fucking when I write erotically. To create an image and then find a word to describe how it feels is nearly orgasmic in itself when it works.

I have read some excellent erotica, some of it specifically addressed to me, that absolutely works... (gone to review some tremor-inducing archived pms)...
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Old 05-25-2012, 10:56 PM   #16
Tzara
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagicFlute View Post
There are some fair points to all this. As i am new here, would you be able to let me know how I am going? I've not been judged on my poetry since high school. Good or bad I'm interested. Don't want you to blow sunshine up my ass - I want to learn

Thanks in advance MF


Bound To Be…


As you lie across our bed in our room off the hall…You hear my footsteps as they fall.

Your pulse quickens to a rapid beat. With short shallow breaths, you feel inside you, a rising heat.

You wonder suddenly; what will I do? When I finally come around the corner and onto you...

Will I seduce you with my eyes from the bedroom door? Kiss your neck and have you beg for more?

You throw your hand up to your lips. To stifle the heat, smouldering up from your hips.

I lean myself up against the wall. The images I’m seeing; are making me fall.

Fall into a deepening trance. So much so, that I fail to see your evocative glance.

How long I wonder, have you been waiting there? I can not tell by your smiling stare.

No matter now – for you are known. You can see that my passion has also grown.

Down on your knees, you crawl to me. Wanting me to take your body, to places that only I can see.

Like a minx, you stretch and purr aloud with delight. You do create such a splendid, sensuous sight.

I want to please you, and you receive all I can give. You are my air that I need to live.

You ask; “So my dear Sir, of me, what do you wish? You hold my heart, so I am yours in all of this.”

As if a pet well trained, you start by kissing along my feet. Working your way up slowly till our lips finally meet.

I reward you sweetly, my promise I do keep – my kisses for you are long and deep.

Your sweet nectar starts dripping from your loins like milk. Trickling down your thighs, like a finely spun silk.

To hear you shudder in gasping delight, I know that I have done well. Your moans of pleasure, of contentment - they tell.

I stroke your hair softly and whisper quiet and sweet, while you are still bowed in front of my feet.

Your mouth moving softly you engulf the pulsing flow. I murmur quietly “My one true darling, I do love you so.”

A tear gently traces a path from your cheek and ends its run on the ground. For us, nothing is greater nor more blessed be; than to be to each other – bound.
Well, MF, the first thing I might ask you is did you actually read my first post?

Because it looks to me like you didn't, because I asked for you (or any responders) to "cite an example of a poem you consider to be a good example of erotic poetry." And then comment on it.

I suppose that you might consider your poem to be "a good example of erotic poetry" except for the fact that in my initial post I specifically single out the phrase "dripping with sweet nectar" as being among the hoariest of clichés.

Granted, you don't use that phrase exactly, but pretty damn close: Your sweet nectar starts dripping from your loins. Sorry, bud, that is fucking awful poetry. In my opinion, of course.

Now I know you want your poems commented on, and (at least I hope) want to learn about poetry. And, God knows, I am no expert on either poetry or God.

So let me just say this:
  • Rhymed erotic poems are extremely difficult to do. The sing-song aspect of rhyme alone tends to de-eroticize the poem.
  • It's hard enough to write an erotic poem in verse. Writing an at least semi-BDSM poem in verse is really difficult. I know. I've tried. It was bad.
  • Tell me what erotic poems you've liked. By "real" poets (i.e., other than Lit). If you haven't read good poetry, you have no fucking clue how to write it.

Sorry, dude. Bad day. Long day. You're probably bearing the brunt of that.
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Old 05-26-2012, 07:14 AM   #17
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Well, MF, the first thing I might ask you is did you actually read my first post?

Because it looks to me like you didn't, because I asked for you (or any responders) to "cite an example of a poem you consider to be a good example of erotic poetry." And then comment on it.

I suppose that you might consider your poem to be "a good example of erotic poetry" except for the fact that in my initial post I specifically single out the phrase "dripping with sweet nectar" as being among the hoariest of clichés.

Granted, you don't use that phrase exactly, but pretty damn close: Your sweet nectar starts dripping from your loins. Sorry, bud, that is fucking awful poetry. In my opinion, of course.

Now I know you want your poems commented on, and (at least I hope) want to learn about poetry. And, God knows, I am no expert on either poetry or God.

So let me just say this:
  • Rhymed erotic poems are extremely difficult to do. The sing-song aspect of rhyme alone tends to de-eroticize the poem.
  • It's hard enough to write an erotic poem in verse. Writing an at least semi-BDSM poem in verse is really difficult. I know. I've tried. It was bad.
  • Tell me what erotic poems you've liked. By "real" poets (i.e., other than Lit). If you haven't read good poetry, you have no fucking clue how to write it.

Sorry, dude. Bad day. Long day. You're probably bearing the brunt of that.
Noone i know is literary minded. Makes it hard to get a true handle on things. You've convinced me enough to ammoni literary seppuku. I'm trashing my pens and paper. Saves me wasting time
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Old 05-26-2012, 07:40 AM   #18
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I recommend Pierre Louÿs's Les Chansons de Bilitis.
It's best in the original although there are several decent translations.
It's critical acclaim and subsequent influence in music, art, film, inter alia, evidences the subtle genius of the work.
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Old 05-26-2012, 12:18 PM   #19
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Noone i know is literary minded. Makes it hard to get a true handle on things. You've convinced me enough to ammoni literary seppuku. I'm trashing my pens and paper. Saves me wasting time
That's unfortunate. If you're new at this, it's a good place to learn.

I can almost guarantee you that a year from now you'll improve your poetry writing, and I doubt there isn't anyone who hasn't looked back at something he or she wrote and "OMG! Did I really write that ______?"(Fill in the blank.)
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Old 05-26-2012, 12:56 PM   #20
Angeline
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That's unfortunate. If you're new at this, it's a good place to learn.

I can almost guarantee you that a year from now you'll improve your poetry writing, and I doubt there isn't anyone who hasn't looked back at something he or she wrote and "OMG! Did I really write that ______?"(Fill in the blank.)
This.

It takes a lot of practice to get beyond the cliche-driven prattle one initially thinks is poetry. How do I know this? I've been there and I've written a lot of crap. But I took peoples' advice and I read like crazy and considered what I was reading and, most important, I wrote every day without fail.

If you do that, Mr. Magic Flute, you will get better at poetry, much better. If you don't think poetry is worth that sort of effort then yeah, why waste your time? If you are willing to really work to improve you'll find people here will bend over backwards to help you do so. If you're not then this prolly ain't the place for you.
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Old 06-08-2012, 04:05 AM   #21
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Speaking from a strictly personal perspective and experience: seems there's certain territories that the more you announce what the reader should feel or experience or think before they read it (or even the writer/poet who intends to write it - again I won't dare presume another beyond myself will feel or see it this way), the greater the chance that what it actually produces will be opposite of the intention. Of these territories I think the erotic and the humorous would aptly fit. It's like someone says, "hey I got this joke you gotta hear, you'll laugh your ass off, it's so so funny!" Well with that kind of setup it better be really really damn funny. Probably one of the reasons one of the hardest jobs in the world must be Comedian. People come to see them, not expecting them to just talk and maybe throw some funny lines or words along the way. No. Gotta be funny throughout.

Simliarly, if I see something like a poem that says it will be 'erotic'... or if I think, 'okay, gonna sit here and write an erotic poem' or poetry that expressly intends eroticism. Now, being a man and a Lit member who sometimes gets in the mood to contribute a few words fictional or poetic it would be no big revelation that thoughts in the realm of the erotic are never far away, and some of those thoughts find their way into fiction attempts and scribblings I loosely deem poetry. But when it comes to choosing a category, there's always the little catch in the head to choose 'erotic', because I'd rather leave it to a reader's imagination and freedom to make of it what they will - suggestions and hints, allusions, maybe they are interpreted in one way or not interpreted at all. And since I've learned long ago that my erotic story attempts tend to ramble and do not focus well enough on keeping the feel 'erotic' I want to just put everything in Humor, but that immediately sets it up for a big bomb because it's usually not exactly all 'funny' either. I might include horror with humor and erotic.

But definitely, erotic poetry - hard. Very very hard.
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:28 AM   #22
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It must be a personal quirk of mine, but I do not get turned on by entire poems that are erotic in nature, graphic or subtle, doesn't matter. However, poems that have erotic metaphors, erotic phrases, that use erotic imagery or even erotic turns of phrase excite me greatly.


That insidious curve / Of the 40W halogen lamp / Winking at the hollow / Of your spine / A crazy play / Between / Demonic Desire /And / Dreams in the Pyre / Like a Flea / Getting drawn
/ Into the / Flickering Fire

This stanza, for instance, creates an erotic imagery in my mind, but refrains from being too erotically graphic. The complete poem maybe about something else altogether, not necessarily about libidinous desire. This one is about pangs of separation rather than erotica. I enjoy such erotic references in poems far more than erotic poems.

As I said, must be a personal quirk of mine...
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:50 AM   #23
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Whether erotic poetry does or does not accomplish its aim for one person or another might relate to the difference between porn that leaves nothing to the imagination or well done pinup art or a real person out and about who maybe has no idea how sexy she is or isn't trying. Lots of people love porn. I'm not one of them. I think I'm in a minority being a man who finds (visual) porn mostly really boring. But sexy pinups? Oh Yum.

Or a real person out there in the world - maybe walking by and arm brushes against arm, maybe get a blended whiff of perfume and body, watch the walk for a few seconds. Hints and enticements. Give the imagination something to play with - and it doesn't need much. Instead of assuming that I need to have a whole fresh-baked pie plopped in front of me, maybe just crack the oven just a tad... tantalize me. Make me move and come to see more. Arouse me out of a lethargy. Inspire a sometimes dormant aggression. Make me want to follow or chase. Make me work, sweat, hell, frustrate me.

In a real life context this is not easy, but to do it with erotic poetry.... a treasure.

Last edited by hmmnmm : 06-08-2012 at 05:55 AM.
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:52 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by serpentwrap View Post
It must be a personal quirk of mine, but I do not get turned on by entire poems that are erotic in nature, graphic or subtle, doesn't matter. However, poems that have erotic metaphors, erotic phrases, that use erotic imagery or even erotic turns of phrase excite me greatly.


That insidious curve / Of the 40W halogen lamp / Winking at the hollow / Of your spine / A crazy play / Between / Demonic Desire /And / Dreams in the Pyre / Like a Flea / Getting drawn
/ Into the / Flickering Fire

This stanza, for instance, creates an erotic imagery in my mind, but refrains from being too erotically graphic. The complete poem maybe about something else altogether, not necessarily about libidinous desire. This one is about pangs of separation rather than erotica. I enjoy such erotic references in poems far more than erotic poems.

As I said, must be a personal quirk of mine...
You posted this while I was composing the follow up post to the prior post. Agreeing...
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Old 06-08-2012, 10:30 AM   #25
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Eroticism is an idea, erotic poetry is the means to present it. A successful poem will allow the audience to interpret the idea all alone while showing exactly what the poet wants to be seen.
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