Too bad I am married...

[simpletimes]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

I just saw this....in referring to "full born again" were you referring to Christian?

Yes that was the inference. I have no problems at all with anyone's personal beliefs. We all need to believe in something. I hope to not offend anyone for any belief. If I did, I do apologize for that, it certainly was not my intent. I was merely voicing my opinion on what lead to the demise of my marriage.

[julybaby04]

Originally Posted by simpletimes

Yes that was the inference. I have no problems at all with anyone's personal beliefs. We all need to believe in something. I hope to not offend anyone for any belief. If I did, I do apologize for that, it certainly was not my intent. I was merely voicing my opinion on what lead to the demise of my marriage.

I only ask for this reason (and no offense at all). I am a Christian, a very strong one (Baptist even..lol).....and if she is using this as the reason for not being intimate, I would ask her to please spend a bit more time reading the Bible.

Not only did God make this incredible physical experience to be shared between and husband and wife....He expects it to be! Withholding sex from a spouse is not Biblical in any way whatsoever. The Bible is clear that in doing so it can lead to adultery, which is obviously a sin.

She is completely wrong in her assessment of using her beliefs as a reason for withholding intimacy.

I, myself, as a Christian, am very much looking forward to marriage again so that pleasure can be experienced as much as possible!!

[julybaby04]

PS.....ask her to read the Song of Solomon. This is one of the most sexual things you could ever read. God ordained sex.....and He really did not put many limits on what can be experienced between a husband and wife.

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

PS.....ask her to read the Song of Solomon. This is one of the most sexual things you could ever read. God ordained sex.....and He really did not put many limits on what can be experienced between a husband and wife.

Originally Posted by simpletimes

T'was a major factor in my divorce...

Might be a bit late for them. (or not)

[Trouble_maker]

Because apparently I'm to damn charming for my own good. I turned down the third woman in as many weeks today


P.s. My wife is wonderful, she spoils me so and allows me my little pleasures.

[julybaby04]

Originally Posted by THROBBS

Might be a bit late for them. (or not)

I agree.....I guess it would be. Perhaps she still needs to read it though....

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

I agree.....I guess it would be. Perhaps she still needs to read it though....

It seems that many christians need to read the bible.

Though there are quite a few who have and yet do not quite "get it".

Sometimes that comes from "selective" reading (or absorption).

Those are the ones who (I'd say) have not been "born again"... that i sto say, have not had a true spiritual awakening.

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by Trouble_maker

Because apparently I'm to damn charming for my own good. I turned down the third woman in as many weeks today


P.s. My wife is wonderful, she spoils me so and allows me my little pleasures.

so sad.

[Trouble_maker]

Originally Posted by THROBBS

so sad.

My grams always said I was cursed to break women's hearts. I feel like shit because they are such wonderful women that any man would be lucky to have them

[julybaby04]

Originally Posted by THROBBS

It seems that many christians need to read the bible.

Though there are quite a few who have and yet do not quite "get it".

Sometimes that comes from "selective" reading (or absorption).

Those are the ones who (I'd say) have not been "born again"... that i sto say, have not had a true spiritual awakening.

Perhaps. But there is a big difference in someone's salvation and what they "choose" to adhere to concerning the Bible.

I would say that the problem is not so much are they saved (or spiritual awakened) as much as they are selfish and believe that whatever they choose to do (or not do), as long as the reference the Bible, it is ok.

God has this master plan for husbands and wives. Both have duties, honestly, whether they like it or not. Passion is a whole different topic, but intimacy is not.

[simpletimes]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

PS.....ask her to read the Song of Solomon. This is one of the most sexual things you could ever read. God ordained sex.....and He really did not put many limits on what can be experienced between a husband and wife.

Yes, in truth we both were very active still in the beginnings of her conversion. She used to be very much into erotica of all kinds, art and stories.
I do not blame her nor religion for our ultimate departure of minds. I think that I am just as much to blame for the end as she. We still get along, much better now that we are in different cities of course.
It may be that I was no longer satisfying her emotional needs and she needed something that she could believe in faithfully, where-as I tend to be more realistic and fact based.
We had a wonderful life together, problems, sure at times, but I lay no blame on her for anything that happened, we drifted apart in directions to far to navigate back.

[julybaby04]

Originally Posted by simpletimes

Yes, in truth we both were very active still in the beginnings of her conversion. She used to be very much into erotica of all kinds, art and stories.
I do not blame her nor religion for our ultimate departure of minds. I think that I am just as much to blame for the end as she. We still get along, much better now that we are in different cities of course.
It may be that I was no longer satisfying her emotional needs and she needed something that she could believe in faithfully, where-as I tend to be more realistic and fact based.
We had a wonderful life together, problems, sure at times, but I lay no blame on her for anything that happened, we drifted apart in directions to far to navigate back.

You are a kind man to look at things from both perspectives. Many would not. It is much easier to blame than to understand. You are very wise.

[simpletimes]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

You are a kind man to look at things from both perspectives. Many would not. It is much easier to blame than to understand. You are very wise.

I certainly know and understand my shortcomings, perfection is not in anyone's DNA. I just believe in being realistic about life. People change over time, sometimes to much, sometimes not enough.
If and when she would find someone that fits well into her life, I would be very supportive about it.
I may be just a crazy old guy, but I have learned a lot in life.
I know the realities of relationships, there is good and bad in all of them, the idea is finding a relationship where the bad is acceptable and does not affect the good.


And thank you.

[Vastrae]

Originally Posted by query

GO out enjoy galleries...sometimes mention you are going sometimes not.......
... work on whatever it is that makes you great. If you are fit, get more fit...

If you are funny be funnier

If you are a clothes horse update your wardrobe.

Do not let her apathy define you. The opposite of love is NOT hate. It is apathy.

Thanks too for the great advice.

[ComeAlive]

What I meant to add but got too sidetracked (sorry) was that when I was facing separation/divorce I had to be sure there was no alternative. My ex was an ass but I loved him as I can tell you do your wife. I had promised him "till death" and neither one of us was dead. So I spent a year trying to bring my family back together. I tried everything I could think of.

But it didn't work, my ex didn't want a family.

You seem to be here because you feel lost, and don't know what decision to make next. You said your wife has a mental illness, I understand how frustrating that can be too. But if you still wake up in the morning and love your wife, then fight for her. I don't know all aspects of your marriage but if your asking advice from us, your probably not ready for divorce.

I'd suggest not only couples counciling but maybe seeing one yourself? In having your own space to vent, and learn about this mental illness, you may find clarity.

I do wish you all the best.

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by Trouble_maker

My grams always said I was cursed to break women's hearts. I feel like shit because they are such wonderful women that any man would be lucky to have them

Only if you had been leading them on.

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

Perhaps. But there is a big difference in someone's salvation and what they "choose" to adhere to concerning the Bible.

I would say that the problem is not so much are they saved (or spiritual awakened) as much as they are selfish and believe that whatever they choose to do (or not do), as long as the reference the Bible, it is ok.

God has this master plan for husbands and wives. Both have duties, honestly, whether they like it or not. Passion is a whole different topic, but intimacy is not.

I reckon it is God who actually knows about their salvation, based not on a "lip service" act of contrition.

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by ComeAlive

What I meant to add but got too sidetracked (sorry) was that when I was facing separation/divorce I had to be sure there was no alternative. My ex was an ass but I loved him as I can tell you do your wife. I had promised him "till death" and neither one of us was dead. So I spent a year trying to bring my family back together. I tried everything I could think of.

But it didn't work, my ex didn't want a family.

You seem to be here because you feel lost, and don't know what decision to make next. You said your wife has a mental illness, I understand how frustrating that can be too. But if you still wake up in the morning and love your wife, then fight for her. I don't know all aspects of your marriage but if your asking advice from us, your probably not ready for divorce.

I'd suggest not only couples counciling but maybe seeing one yourself? In having your own space to vent, and learn about this mental illness, you may find clarity.

I do wish you all the best.

no idea who this is directed to.

[ComeAlive]

Uh, you?

[ComeAlive]

Sorry, maybe I'm just totally off my rocker today and not making a lick of sense. It's been a LOOOONNNGG day for me. If so, kindly ignore my comments.

[simpletimes]

Originally Posted by ComeAlive

What I meant to add but got too sidetracked (sorry) was that when I was facing separation/divorce I had to be sure there was no alternative. My ex was an ass but I loved him as I can tell you do your wife. I had promised him "till death" and neither one of us was dead. So I spent a year trying to bring my family back together. I tried everything I could think of.

But it didn't work, my ex didn't want a family.

You seem to be here because you feel lost, and don't know what decision to make next. You said your wife has a mental illness, I understand how frustrating that can be too. But if you still wake up in the morning and love your wife, then fight for her. I don't know all aspects of your marriage but if your asking advice from us, your probably not ready for divorce.

I'd suggest not only couples counciling but maybe seeing one yourself? In having your own space to vent, and learn about this mental illness, you may find clarity.

I do wish you all the best.

Couples counseling will only work if both want to share. Sometimes it is just in both's best interest to part ways so they may find the happiness they seek.

[cf23430]

Originally Posted by julybaby04

I only ask for this reason (and no offense at all). I am a Christian, a very strong one (Baptist even..lol).....and if she is using this as the reason for not being intimate, I would ask her to please spend a bit more time reading the Bible.

Not only did God make this incredible physical experience to be shared between and husband and wife....He expects it to be! Withholding sex from a spouse is not Biblical in any way whatsoever. The Bible is clear that in doing so it can lead to adultery, which is obviously a sin.

She is completely wrong in her assessment of using her beliefs as a reason for withholding intimacy.

I, myself, as a Christian, am very much looking forward to marriage again so that pleasure can be experienced as much as possible!!

I love it when you speak from the heart and soul....your truly a special lady

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by ComeAlive

Uh, you?

Ah ha!

Originally Posted by ComeAlive

Sorry, maybe I'm just totally off my rocker today and not making a lick of sense. It's been a LOOOONNNGG day for me. If so, kindly ignore my comments.

With multiple people posting, it is easiest if you either quote the person you are addressing or address them ComeAlive.

Originally Posted by simpletimes

Couples counseling will only work if both want to share. Sometimes it is just in both's best interest to part ways so they may find the happiness they seek.

What simpletimes said.

I and we have been to multiple counselors multiple times.

Not really seeking advice. I would actually pose a question if I had one. I was venting and perhaps doing some fishing, I suppose.

I did not really intend to create a disenchanted spouse's thread...or a thread debating religion. (I am a Christian BTW)

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by cf23430

I love it when you speak from the heart and soul....your truly a special lady

And the snake uncoils...

[ElizaCat22]

I could have probably gone out today & tonight and had fun instead of being stuck in a cramped messy apartment.
Everytime I try to clean it, he messes it up. Makes me want to scream.