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Old 04-25-2012, 02:17 PM   #1
RedButterflySlut
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Could use some advice on proportions on piece of erotic artwork

I've been working on a piece of erotic art, but could use some advice before I continue on and finalize it.

Any artists critiques to improve it? I absolutely hate finishing a piece, going back and realizing that I have a horrible glaring flaw.

Note: This is supposed to be a take off of this famous painting.
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Old 04-25-2012, 02:56 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedButterflySlut View Post
I've been working on a piece of erotic art, but could use some advice before I continue on and finalize it.

Any artists critiques to improve it? I absolutely hate finishing a piece, going back and realizing that I have a horrible glaring flaw.

Note: This is supposed to be a take off of this famous painting.
The man's hip is turned too far to be doing anything interesting, unless he is painting her right butt cheek with precum...
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Old 04-25-2012, 03:18 PM   #3
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Hey there. If we're talking about proportions, then you might want to work on the man's arms. His right upper arm seems to be a bit longer than his left.
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Old 04-25-2012, 03:30 PM   #4
RedButterflySlut
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Originally Posted by Isana View Post
Hey there. If we're talking about proportions, then you might want to work on the man's arms. His right upper arm seems to be a bit longer than his left.
Okay, I'll give it some work Thanks. I really need to practice drawing guys!

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The man's hip is turned too far to be doing anything interesting, unless he is painting her right butt cheek with precum...
Thanks, I'll try to change the angle of his hips a bit.
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:30 PM   #5
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Apart from all that has already been said .. The girl's torso is supposed to be 3/4 the length of the legs which in your drawing seems to be approx. 1/2 the length of the legs. Secondly, the right hand of the girl will add stability to her "doggy" position ..

the pillows need to be little less wider at the ends that are away from the viewer and this will add to the depth and reduce the stiffness ...


Above all, its a great drawing and a great concept .. believe me ..u wont regret finishing it.

Love

~Kimmy~
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Old 04-26-2012, 09:52 AM   #6
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Talking Advice on Proportions -or is this already too late?

Hello, RedButterflySlut...

I hope you haven't finalize this piece yet since what I have to say will no longer matter at all. Then again, you may consider it as free advice from one artist to another, okay?

Let's do it one at a time:
1. Consider/study your composition--all the elements you included in your illustration--from the position of the two bodies to the intruding one on the right, to the pillows and walls and sofa or couch.

Which ones are in the foreground--the things closest to the viewer? Which ones are in the middle ground, and those that are in the background? Establish your point of view, also called perspective, so that your drawing will achieve depth. Crop it, if possible, to give more emphasis to what you wanted to focus on, in this case, the anal intercourse.

With this in mind, do you really need the third party? If you do, consider these:

She's looking the other way, out of the frame, out of the important action--and with her arm with the flower at an angle, it points the eyes more out of the picture! Look at the woman's bended leg on the couch, it also points to the woman on the right, strengthening the direction out of the main action. What I meant is, it is a distraction.

We call this subliminal lines that tend to push the eyes everywhere in a composition. Be careful with these directional arrows. All must come together and contribute to the main focus of your illustration--and not, subtract from it. How? By using line, tone, color, texture, etc., to achieve it.

2. As advised by the others before, check the length of the man's right arm. Let it poke out at an angle and let him hold her butt instead. And while we're on the butt subject, the man's upper body showed his lower spine, and therefore, must also show the cheeks of his butt--not one but two.

Check his shoulder blades--he looked like a hunchback since you wanted to exaggerate the weight of the arm pushing hard against the woman's head/face. Therefore, do not hide the hand! Fingers are the most troublesome, if not quite difficult, to draw yet, it's necessary and important.

Where is the man's other leg? Show that, too, either bended or kneeling on the couch with his weight on her butt. I would suggest that you make the woman grip her thigh, as if opening herself more to the man's assault--er, lovemaking. It is not wrong to exaggerate when necessary, and you'll learn and find out it helps in adding emotion to the illustration.

3. The diagonal lines on the wall help to focus the eyes on the action, and that's good, yet check the angles of the pillows resting on the armrest. At this point, it seemed they're fucking on the backrest of the couch. (If that is a bed, then the woman on the right lost her legs!) Again, establish your perspective well since this is an interior scene. If I cover your drawing using the edge of the door on the right, the drawing stand well on its own--without the naked maid.

Drawing, like writing, needs to be edited too. And we have to be very sure if not certain that the picture we created is already acceptable if not real.

Suggestions:

Crop the drawing by removing the woman on the right for a more powerful illustration.

Check your anatomy--being both naked requires that from you.

Assign/identify your shadows and highlights before shading/coloring your artwork. Be very sure you have the image clear in your mind before you start rendering.

I am sorry to be frank but you seeked advice, and I hope I was constructive if not blunt enough to help you out. All the best!!
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:27 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedButterflySlut View Post
Note: This is supposed to be a take off of this famous painting.
For me, this is the most important thing you have said.

Because you mention and link to it.
I do not think it is necessary to be slavish to the original, but if the connection is lost on the viewer, then...well, then it is lost.

If you paint the final, the connection will be stronger.

Think of your concept, your "story".
I say keep the maid, and keep her as a black woman..you could even have her in nearly the same pose and expression... "oh, here they go again!".

I also say put that cat in there somewhere..it is hilarious.

As l-m-Goblin noted, look to your composition.

And you can take liberties with anatomy, if you choose to and it serves you and your story. (One most know anatomy to do that well). Unless, you want some dissonance (which I suppose not, since you asked).

more than the length of the segments (though they are "off") the contours "take me out of it", a bit. eg> look to the sensuous curve you gave the woman's calf to heel...give the same attention to curve of hip-to-thigh-to knee.

and don't be afraid to "bury" a bit of body in the sheets and face in the pillow. gives weight and sense of softness to environment.

I think it is a LOT of fun!
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Old 04-26-2012, 01:17 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by THROBBS View Post
For me, this is the most important thing you have said.

Because you mention and link to it.
I do not think it is necessary to be slavish to the original, but if the connection is lost on the viewer, then...well, then it is lost.

If you paint the final, the connection will be stronger.

Think of your concept, your "story".
I say keep the maid, and keep her as a black woman..you could even have her in nearly the same pose and expression... "oh, here they go again!".

I also say put that cat in there somewhere..it is hilarious.

As l-m-Goblin noted, look to your composition.

And you can take liberties with anatomy, if you choose to and it serves you and your story. (One most know anatomy to do that well). Unless, you want some dissonance (which I suppose not, since you asked).

more than the length of the segments (though they are "off") the contours "take me out of it", a bit. eg> look to the sensuous curve you gave the woman's calf to heel...give the same attention to curve of hip-to-thigh-to knee.

and don't be afraid to "bury" a bit of body in the sheets and face in the pillow. gives weight and sense of softness to environment.

I think it is a LOT of fun!
You totally got what I was going for!
Haha, I tried to recreate the expression in the servant woman, the perturbed "UGH. Are they done yet?" attitude. Unfortunately I'm not great at drawing expressions.
I'll bury her face a bit more into the pillows, but in the original painting those pillows are rather thick, they're supporting her. Must not be comfy pillows. Since Olympia was a 'working girl' and Manet wanted to make her profession clear, it's possible that the pillows where extra thick for the exact intention of using them for sex play and different positions.
I'll definitely add the cat somewhere! Poor little cat, all he wants is love. Not wild, wild exhibitionist sex.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim_vegas View Post
Apart from all that has already been said .. The girl's torso is supposed to be 3/4 the length of the legs which in your drawing seems to be approx. 1/2 the length of the legs. Secondly, the right hand of the girl will add stability to her "doggy" position ..

the pillows need to be little less wider at the ends that are away from the viewer and this will add to the depth and reduce the stiffness ...


Above all, its a great drawing and a great concept .. believe me ..u wont regret finishing it.

Love

~Kimmy~
I'll keep on working on it! I want this drawing to be perfect when I'm done, but by no means am I in practice as an artist. I draw maybe every six months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanmeangoblin View Post
A lot of great advice
The third party is important because I'm recreating a famous painting, with a few tweaks. I'll do my best to follow the rest of your advice.
They're on a bed with ridiculously high pillows, the naked woman behind them is kneeling, looking rather perturbed with the whole situation.
The man's other leg is behind 'Olympia's' leg, the line got a little faint when I took a picture of the drawing. Thankyou again for the long reply! It really helps.
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Old 05-09-2012, 01:12 PM   #9
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Progress?
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:40 PM   #10
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Progress?
I'm redrawing the whole thing -lol-
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:51 PM   #11
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I'm redrawing the whole thing -lol-
That is progress.
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