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Old 12-02-2012, 08:10 PM   #1
Oo_Bugsy
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Bisexual: How do you know?

How does one know if one is Bisexual?

Are you only truly Bisexual IF you've had a sexual encounter with the same sex?

Discuss, advise & ask any questions.
I'd like to find out if I am Bi or not.

Bugsy
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Old 12-02-2012, 08:34 PM   #2
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I don't think you need to have an encounter to know, but the emotions that you experience from such an encounter could help you be more sure of yourself.
I have many friends who've been with people outside of their orientation because they weren't sure of how they felt, and having those relationships didn't change who they are. Depending on the type of person you are, an encounter may be something that would give you some degree of definitive emotion on the matter.
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Old 12-02-2012, 09:50 PM   #3
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I'd suggest you not worry about labels, especially if you've not had the experience. My two cents!
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Old 12-02-2012, 11:21 PM   #4
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I'd suggest you not worry about labels, especially if you've not had the experience. My two cents!
I agree, it's silly to let yourself get painted by a label, just accept things as they are and leave the labeling to those with small minds.
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Old 12-02-2012, 11:43 PM   #5
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For what it's worth

Assuming you're male, I'd say if you want to have sex or do have sex with men and women, you're bisexual.
If you only want to have sex with women, you're heterosexual. And if you only want to have sex with men, your'e homosexual.
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Old 12-02-2012, 11:53 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by PleasePeesMe View Post
Assuming you're male, I'd say if you want to have sex or do have sex with men and women, you're bisexual.
If you only want to have sex with women, you're heterosexual. And if you only want to have sex with men, your'e homosexual.
So i like sex with both sexes but i only love sex with a woman if there is a cock for me at the same time. I have never had any emotional desires or atraction to any women. Am i Bi or just a slut?
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Old 12-03-2012, 02:07 AM   #7
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Take a look at the world famous Kinsey Scale Of Human Sexual Preference:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oo_Bugsy View Post
How does one know if one is Bisexual?

Are you only truly Bisexual IF you've had a sexual encounter with the same sex?

Discuss, advise & ask any questions.
I'd like to find out if I am Bi or not.

Bugsy
Your sexual interest is what it is-- whether or not you've acted on it, it's till the way you are wired. Or anyway, how you're wired at this time, because people can change wires a lot over their lifetimes.

You can call yourself bi-curous, if you like. You certainly seem to be.

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Originally Posted by badslutmommy View Post
So i like sex with both sexes but i only love sex with a woman if there is a cock for me at the same time. I have never had any emotional desires or atraction to any women. Am i Bi or just a slut?
Sure, you're bisexual. Some people say that your flavor is "heteroflexible" because you are mostly het but will engage with same sex under the right circumstances.
Being a slut has nothing to do with being bisexual. Plenty of bisexuals are also monogamous-- it's just that the choice of partners to be monogomous with was never limited by the sex of those partners.

In fact, liking more than one partner in bed at a time isn't slutty all by itself, either.

(I don't like the word slut, because it has too many not-sexual connotations and I'm a political bitch. But if you get off on it-- then all power to you.)
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Old 12-03-2012, 02:08 AM   #8
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i somewhat recently through discovering that i am bi. i have been bi for a long time but i denied it till just about 2 years ago but its still fresh to me and my family is still in the process of finding out. maybe i can help with some of the mixed thoughts and emotions if you wanna talk.
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Old 12-03-2012, 03:57 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
Take a look at the world famous Kinsey Scale Of Human Sexual Preference:

Your sexual interest is what it is-- whether or not you've acted on it, it's till the way you are wired. Or anyway, how you're wired at this time, because people can change wires a lot over their lifetimes.

You can call yourself bi-curous, if you like. You certainly seem to be.


Sure, you're bisexual. Some people say that your flavor is "heteroflexible" because you are mostly het but will engage with same sex under the right circumstances.
Being a slut has nothing to do with being bisexual. Plenty of bisexuals are also monogamous-- it's just that the choice of partners to be monogomous with was never limited by the sex of those partners.

In fact, liking more than one partner in bed at a time isn't slutty all by itself, either.



(I don't like the word slut, because it has too many not-sexual connotations and I'm a political bitch. But if you get off on it-- then all power to you.)
I am right along there with badslutmommy. My flavor is heteroflexible. I am not sexually attracted to men but will suck cock and think nothing of it.
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Old 12-03-2012, 04:24 AM   #10
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Very helpful chart and explanation Stella_Omega, thank you.

And thank you everybody else for your contributions.
I shall for the time being consider myself bi-curious.

Thanks again!

Bugsy
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:30 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oo_Bugsy View Post
How does one know if one is Bisexual?

Are you only truly Bisexual IF you've had a sexual encounter with the same sex?

Discuss, advise & ask any questions.
I'd like to find out if I am Bi or not.

Bugsy
Having sex with someone for the first time of the same gender doesnt make you bisexual, but bi-curious.
now if you liked it and want more then your bisexual.
you honestly never no till you at least tried a little with someone, if you dont get turned on then its not for you.
does anything about the same sex turn you on?
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:34 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badslutmommy View Post
So i like sex with both sexes but i only love sex with a woman if there is a cock for me at the same time. I have never had any emotional desires or atraction to any women. Am i Bi or just a slut?
Perhaps the only way that can be answered is are you doing it only for the cock you happen to be with and you feel no sexual attraction to the other woman involved. I'm not about to call you a slut if that is the case but you're not bisexual.

I do find it hard to believe you have no emotional attraction to other women, don't you have women friends? Or maybe a best friend? Those involvements are of course emotional. If so and one of those would make sexual advances to you would you say no? If you answer is yes, I have no label that I know of to fit your situation. If on the other hand you'd find sex, without a man, with one of these women enjoyable I'd say your bisexual.
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Old 01-14-2013, 02:51 PM   #13
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oo_Bugsy View Post
How does one know if one is Bisexual?

Are you only truly Bisexual IF you've had a sexual encounter with the same sex?

Bugsy
Quote:
Originally Posted by PleasePeesMe View Post
Assuming you're male, I'd say if you want to have sex or do have sex with men and women, you're bisexual.
If you only want to have sex with women, you're heterosexual. And if you only want to have sex with men, your'e homosexual.
Plenty of gay or lesbian people have engaged in sexual activity with the opposite sex (most of them have, according to studies, because of heteronormative society), but they are still gay or lesbian.

And there are plenty of heterosexual women who had sex with women. There is also a thing called situational sexual behavior; for example, heterosexual men having sex with men while in prison because they have no access to women (often, these heterosexual men do this with men who are feminine and/or present as women).

Sexual orientation cannot always be based on behavior. Indeed, a lot of researchers assert that sexual pleasure can be achieved with a person without sexual attraction to that person. Think of how a heterosexual man may have sex with a woman that he's not sexually attracted to. Or how a person may use a sex toy for sexual pleasure...but is not sexually attracted to that sex toy. This factor also relates to the situational sexual behavior aspect I mentioned -- having sex with someone that you are not truly sexually attracted to.

And the topic of bisexuality also has to do with how the person defines bisexuality. Some researchers, and some people in general, define bisexuality as being equally sexually attracted to both sexes because they don't view anyone as 100% heterosexual or as 100% homosexual and/or because they don't understand why "bi" in "bisexuality" shouldn't imply "equal" when "bi" implies or means "equal" for other topics; therefore, to them, what you are predominantly sexually attracted to determines whether or not you are heterosexual or homosexual. For this same reason, some researchers, and some people in general, argue that "true bisexuality" does not exist because everyone who identifies as bisexual sexually prefers one sex over the other.

As for my personal opinion of knowing whether or not a person is sexually attracted to both sexes... It can be complicated because of some people simply being curious. But if the person is having persistent sexual thoughts about both sexes, I'd normally say that person is sexually attracted to both sexes. If it's occasional thoughts about both sexes, that's trickier. If it's occasional sexual thoughts about one sex, with predominant sexual thoughts about the other sex, that can also be tricky and goes back to the defining bisexuality aspect I mentioned; but such people usually identify as heterosexual/straight or homosexual/gay/lesbian.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
Your sexual interest is what it is-- whether or not you've acted on it, it's till the way you are wired. Or anyway, how you're wired at this time, because people can change wires a lot over their lifetimes.
Actually, scientists (at least not the fringe ones, such as those claiming that they can change a person from being gay) haven't found that sexual orientation can change; what they have consistently found is that sexual orientation identity can change. While it seems that for a minority of people, sexual orientation can change because their preferences are not the same as before, scientists are cautious about calling it a change of sexual orientation. Some people who identify as bisexual state that their sexual attractions fluctuate, and some scientists believe that this is what the "sexual orientation change" is about, something that inherently comes with bisexuality.

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by badslutmommy View Post
So i like sex with both sexes but i only love sex with a woman if there is a cock for me at the same time. I have never had any emotional desires or atraction to any women. Am i Bi or just a slut?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
Sure, you're bisexual. Some people say that your flavor is "heteroflexible" because you are mostly het but will engage with same sex under the right circumstances.
He seems more so "homoflexible" to me, Stella, because he only loves sex with a woman under the circumstance that it involves a man. Unless by "cock," he means either a man's cock, a transperson's cock or a woman using a dildo on him.

Last edited by PricelessT : 01-14-2013 at 03:02 PM. Reason: Tweak. Disambiguated one instance of "sex" in the first line...where I am referring to both sexual activity and biological sex.
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:10 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by PricelessT View Post
He seems more so "homoflexible" to me, Stella, because he only loves sex with a woman under the circumstance that it involves a man. Unless by "cock," he means either a man's cock, a transperson's cock or a woman using a dildo on him.
My god you type, type, type but you don't read. Badslutmommy is not a he!
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:18 PM   #15
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I do read, as others here know very well, but I also make mistakes (like all humans). I did not pay much attention to badslutmommy's screen name; but even if I had, a lot of posters choose screen names that reflect the opposite of their sex/gender. And badslutmommy's post could have just as easily been coming from a he.

My apologies to badslutmommy.
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:56 PM   #16
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I am right along there with badslutmommy. My flavor is heteroflexible. I am not sexually attracted to men but will suck cock and think nothing of it.
Yep, same here. I've described myself as "bi" to several people I know, but I'm not attracted to men, don't want to date or kiss men, and I'm not really into other types of sex besides oral with men. I just love sucking cock, and pleasing a man in that way.

I also love pleasing a woman orally, along with doing all kinds of other things with women, including dating them.

It's just easier (to me) to say I'm "bi" than say I'm heteroflexible or pansexual (either of which I think fits me much better), then have to explain what exactly those terms really mean.

The way I see it, it's purely sexual/physical to me, and there are very few people I'll actually have such a conversation with. It's not my business what they do in the bedroom (or car, or park, or adult bookstore), and vice-versa.
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:06 PM   #17
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I do read, as others here know very well, but I also make mistakes (like all humans). I did not pay much attention to badslutmommy's screen name; but even if I had, a lot of posters choose screen names that reflect the opposite of their sex/gender. And badslutmommy's post could have just as easily been coming from a he.

My apologies to badslutmommy.
I can be such a bitch!
I was only teasing!
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:10 PM   #18
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Yep, same here. I've described myself as "bi" to several people I know, but I'm not attracted to men, don't want to date or kiss men, and I'm not really into other types of sex besides oral with men. I just love sucking cock, and pleasing a man in that way.

I also love pleasing a woman orally, along with doing all kinds of other things with women, including dating them.

It's just easier (to me) to say I'm "bi" than say I'm heteroflexible or pansexual (either of which I think fits me much better), then have to explain what exactly those terms really mean.

The way I see it, it's purely sexual/physical to me, and there are very few people I'll actually have such a conversation with. It's not my business what they do in the bedroom (or car, or park, or adult bookstore), and vice-versa.
Or maybe you just have a fetish.
As defined as:A form of sexual desire in which gratification depends to an abnormal degree on some object or item of clothing or part of the body.
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:44 PM   #19
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I can be such a bitch!
I was only teasing!
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:56 PM   #20
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You know your'e probably bi if not only do you enjoy sex with either gender,but you can find yourself laying awake at night wishing that whichever was there for you to hold or be held by.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:06 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mac_crazy View Post

The way I see it, it's purely sexual/physical to me, and there are very few people I'll actually have such a conversation with. It's not my business what they do in the bedroom (or car, or park, or adult bookstore), and vice-versa.
Quote:
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You know your'e probably bi if not only do you enjoy sex with either gender,but you can find yourself laying awake at night wishing that whichever was there for you to hold or be held by.
Both of these are legitimate measures of bisexuality.

mac-crazy might be called bisexual, in that he approaches his interactions sex-first-- DemianBiros might be called bi-romantic in that he wants an emotional interaction.

Don't be thinking that these labels are the only ones that apply to you! It's just that sexuality, identity, emotional needs and appetites, hundreds of other elements-- all of these things are like this tangled ball of threads and it's fun, or helpful, to tease the threads out and look at them a little while before returning them to the ball.
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:20 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oo_Bugsy View Post
How does one know if one is Bisexual?

Are you only truly Bisexual IF you've had a sexual encounter with the same sex?

Discuss, advise & ask any questions.
I'd like to find out if I am Bi or not.

Bugsy
What exactly is bisexual? Will i have sex with another woman? Absolutely. But whenever i am horny or thinking about sex i am fantasising about a guy. If they were not family i may not be so easily inclined to have same sex. I would never find myself in an serious longterm emotional relationship with a woman. I admit i am a slut and will screw pretty much anything when i am horny, but am i bisexual?
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:53 AM   #23
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Does male sex turn you on as much, or more, than female sex? What is considered standard sexual situation's not enough to satisfy you? Or do you generally seek pleasure where you can find it, no matter who? Then you maybe Bi.
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Old 01-19-2013, 06:15 AM   #24
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We're all born bisexual - it's society that put a badge on it. If it weren't for the prejudices rammed down the throats of kids by religion/parents it wouldn't matter which sex we chose to sleep with. Who has a problem with bisexuality? Certainly not the two people ( or more ) in the bed.
But it's not a perfect world so bisexual has become a dirty little word, fully loaded with connotations and of assumptions that a bisexual is addicted to sex, unstable, a threat to everyone at the party, another reason for AIDS, probably a paedophile and not something that Auntie Marg would approve of.
Some people like badges though and this is one you can wear underneath your lapel and brag about when conversation gets thin at a dinner party.

I'd suggest the OP should get out there and do it then report back with a great story
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