a survey for married couples...

[multipleJ]

Got boring for a few years with sick kid & work schedules but mostly 5 times a week until recently.

Been going at it daily for over a month. Has been numerous times a day normally.

[Nymphobiguy]

Originally Posted by sleepwithangels

How many times on average are you having sex with your spouse?

on average 2x per week (that's if i'm lucky). we were dating complete nympho- now were married its like the complete opposite

[THROBBS]

Originally Posted by Nymphobiguy

on average 2x per week (that's if i'm lucky). we were dating complete nympho- now were married its like the complete opposite

Sadly, the transition to "the complete opposite" is not yet complete if you are at 2x/week average.

[Cyann]

Originally Posted by query

. . . yes and she said to love honor and cherish...if for some (bizarre highly unlikely) medical reason there are NO sexual activities she can engage in...fine - there's always affectionate cuddling...but this isn't a marriage. period.

pretend this is a girlfriend....assuming you have no idea when or if you will EVER get laid again why would in any way it be inappropriate for you to have another asexual girlfriend or for that matter a virtual harem of asexual girlfriends...

the only point of monogamy is to voluntarilly reserve your sexuality for your partner...it isn't to forcibly deny your partners sexuality to others.

she doesn't get to cloak herself in the antiquated protection of religiously created tradition of marriage, while playing the I am modern woman and not bound by antiquated ideas of what she is to bring to the marriage.

I'm not (exclusively) protesting that your needs aren't being met....neither are hers. If you want to love someone find ways to serve and cherish them...you do so you love her...she isn't being encouraged to do the things that will bring her closer to you and make her feel good about her part of this relationship.

Google Athol Kay (Kaye maybe?) Married man sex life...it would have saved my marriage I'm sure. start working your MAP...be a better you, you don't have to (and I dont think you should) cheat to get her attention but she needs to believe you have options.

Mostly I agree with this, but I might quibble with parts of your last sentence.

I am one of those wives who doesn't put out. It might be for a different reason than many of these wives talked about here. The difference is if my spouse goes out and gets it elsewhere, I have no right to complain. None. I feel like a person can choose celibacy for themselves, but you don't get to choose it for someone else. I continue to be amazed when I see/hear of wives who don't participate in sex and then get all butthurt when their husband goes out and gets it elsewhere. What is that about? You don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him either?

[Cyann]

That said . . . guys, where is the payoff in chasing after someone who doesn't want you? I ask that as a serious question. If some guy doesn't want me (as is his right) I am immediately turned off. We're talking within seconds. There is no point at all in wasting my time. A huge part of sex for me (I'd say the main thing, actually) is desiring and being desired. If that's not there . . . why bother?

[THROBBS]

agreed.

[photobuff56]

Originally Posted by Nymphobiguy

on average 2x per week (that's if i'm lucky). we were dating complete nympho- now were married its like the complete opposite

Same here, when we dating she would try almost anything and if she liked it well she liked it. We sometimes had it 3and times a day but not every day. Now its a chore and id rather masturbate its more fun only married 2 yrs.

[neakman]

once a week....on average depending on circumstances.....

29 years married.

[carolinahusband]

Married 17 years. Once or twice a month...if I instigate it...but it's always the same routine. I can't remember the last time she instigated things, but it's been years, not months. Sad to say at this point I've pretty much given up on it. Thank goodness for internet porn, chat rooms and webcams. BTW, what's this blowjob thing I keep hearing about?!?

[Kat1971]

Not often enough, 2 times a month if I'm lucky. I need much more and have resorted to wrirting erotic lit to give myself a kick and found im quite good (imo)! Loving writing, its an escapism. Hoping it will turn my wife on too and she likes what I write but still waiting for the desired affect....

[shark968]

I'd say 3 times a year if I'm lucky. My wife lost interest after our child was born. Before my child was born I'd get it twice a month or so.

[lookin4plam8]

5or6 times per year, been married almost 35 years

[HARDHUBBY45]

-0- none...zero...not at all...married 34 yrs.

However I do masturbate 143 times a week...

Well at leat 5-8 times a week

[jen_litgirl]

Married almost 14 years.

We have sex almost every night and every couple of mornings. On top of that I'm masturbating almost every day while he's at work.

We've had short breaks (around 2 weeks) when I've had a baby or when he's out of town but pretty much our whole marriage we've had sex almost every night.

[bigbreastsluvr]

Once a month... if I'm lucky. At times have gone 3-4 months without sex. I love sex... she doesn't care much for it.

I'm the one who always has to initiate it.... so most times I just give up. Most nights I don't even bother sleeping in the same bedroom. Better that way not to sleep with someone who's sex drive is so much lower than mine. Less frustrating.

I tend to end up jerking off a lot... which again is easier to do when you sleep in a different bedroom.

She gets pissed off if I do it in the same bed as her. She says the movement wakes her up.

Been married 7 years.

[onefinesailor]

Totally depends on her mood. If she had another partner, 4-5 times a week. If it's just the two of us, maybe once every few weeks. We have kids and have been married 10 years, I think the unpredictability of it all adds to the excrement.

[ConstantineIII]

Normally 3-4 times a week, but we just got promotions that have screwed up our schedule. Married 9 years next week.

[just for fun]

Lately it's been every couple of months and quite honestly it leaves me horny out of my fucking mind

[bluubri]

Two or three times if I am lucky. Married 18 years.

[bluubri]

Two or three times a month if I am lucky. Married 18 years.

[Inquietude]

:-))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I love the answers.

//several times a week

[darkknight01]

Originally Posted by jen_litgirl

Married almost 14 years.

We have sex almost every night and every couple of mornings. On top of that I'm masturbating almost every day while he's at work.

We've had short breaks (around 2 weeks) when I've had a baby or when he's out of town but pretty much our whole marriage we've had sex almost every night.

Even when you are on your cycle?

[katebestfriend]

Me and the missus have been married for 16 years, together 17. Can honestly say our sex life is better now than ever...even though our relationship can be volatile. About 5 years ago, things were getting a bit boring. We were down to once a week, and nearly always a Saturday - it was very predictable and same thing virtually every time. then my wife suggested getting some couple-friendly porn, because obviously she was as bored as I was. That spiced things up to the point where her sex drive was re-invigorated so much, she'd ask if it was ok to have another orgasm on her own. I said, er yes, so long as you don't mind if I do too (should explain, we've been in separate bedrooms for most of marriage because neither of us sleep well, especially now we have kids).
These days, it's completely normal for us to say good night and go to bed and masturbate on our own. It's become a wonderful, daily ritual and a great way for both of us to relax. And the best part is, we both feel sexier - my wife postively glows - and we're making love more too (2-3 times a week) as a result.

[jhuson]

Originally Posted by query

the only point of monogamy is to voluntarilly reserve your sexuality for your partner...it isn't to forcibly deny your partners sexuality to others.

Wow. The above quote really nails it. Simple yet profound.

I'm surprised nobody has articulated it quite this way before but it is sad but true.

It's sad because even if your partner isn't into it much but is willing to throw you a "bone" once a week or just to fulfill her "wifely duties, are you really happy with that? I know I'm not.

[conquen]

Roughly 3 times a month. 90% of the time it is the same old thing but once in a while it seems like there is still hope. She just needs to channel her inner slut.