The Need For Change - Closed for Hells_Fury

Dr Jonathin Smith - PHD, Psycology Professor - Albright College
Age 40
Confirmed Bachelor
5 Years Head Master in Enland

As I sit and wait in my Victorian home with a perfectly landscaped back yard containing both an inground pool, gazzebo and outdoor hot tub, I gaze across the huge plain and at the perfectly shaped 7 story Academic buildings and 3 dormitories.
Still holding the letter I had received from Dean Squires, asking but also demanding that I take in a Miss Katherine Marcel into my residence and with permission to use whatever methods I deemed necessary to get her back on track. I re-read "Miss Marcel comes from a prestigious home with both of her parents lead physicians in their fields. Previous to her first semester at Albright she was a high honor student with every intention of becoming a physician herslef. However the wrong crowd and pre-med do not work, as you know. So again, you will find it in your favor, especially with the new endowments being handed out, if you personally shape and mold this miscreant and get her back to doing A level work. I can see the lead chair on the horizon if Miss Marcel is fortunate to get into Harvard Medical School. And this will be both an accomplishment especially for you, as you are definitely on the fast track for this elusive position.
Dean of Academics,
Dr. Nelson Squires
I look at my empty driveway and say "yes Miss Katherine Marcel you will be going to Harvard if it is the last thing I do, and look once more at my watch.

Katherine Marcel stormed out of the office of Dean Squires. Her temper flaring as she walked back to her room packing up her things. Her jean shorts hugging her his and her yellow shirt clinging to her body. Leaving the dorms her anger flared as she got into her car.

She could not believe what he was making her do. She hated this more than anything else. To go and live with a man that her family was friends with. A man she had never desired to know. Rolling her eyes as she pulled up into the drive way she rolled her neck and put her car into park.

Stepping out of the car she walked up the path way with a bit of attitude. Knocking on the door she waited. This was ridiculous she told herself. a study aide would have suited her. But no they went to extremes. Of course they did with her family legacy and with her father telling everyone as soon as she graduated he would build a new building for them. What ever the school needing rolling her eyes again she knocked on the door once more. This time a bit more harder than necessary.

Coming to the door, opening it, looking at you and saying "Park your car in the garage", as I point the garage door opener at the garage and the 3rd bay begins to open. " Then you may come through the back door and carry your possions up to the 2nd floor, your room is the 3rd door on the right. And please do it quietly as I enjoy peace and quiet in the home."
As you turn to leave I say "have you eaten lunch, as I am a pretty good cook?"

Standing there Katherine listened to everything that he had said to her. Beginning to walk away she heard his question, looking back to him over her shoulder she shrugged. "I could eat something small." Was all that she said to him and then she was back in her car and pulling over to where he had instructed her to park. She could not believe this. Turning the car off the door behind her closed. Setting her head against the stearing wheel she sighed heavily. 'This is rediciulous' She told her self again and again.

Getting out of the car she grabbed her things and walked over to the back door heading inside. Keeping quiet she headed up to the room that Dr. Smith had told her was hers. Setting her things on the floor of which fit into one back pack and an over sized duffel bag. Sitting down she pulled out her cell. Nothing no calls, no messages nothing. Shaking her head she put her phone away.

Looking around the room she went and checked the closet deciding that it would do. Seeing the desk sitting along the wall opposite the bed she set up her lap top and all of her work. She had truly wanted to become a surgeon, but not just any surgeon she wanted to be as prestigious as her parents both were. Looking through the files on her lap top she sighed as she realized the internet access was password protected. Leaving her room she began to wander around in an attempt to find her host.

Smiling as you walk into the kitchen, I look at you and say "I hope that tuna salad sandwhiches and cobb salad are alright," as I carry them over to the table that over looks the back yard. Motioning for you to sit, I place your plates down in the chair across from me.
"I do hope you find your room satisfactory as in the chat I had with your father this morning, it will be yours for the next 3 1/2 years."
Beginning to eat and in between bites I say "your rules are simple." Bedtime is at 9pm and wake up at 5am, but on Sundays you can sleep in until 7am. Each morning we will meet in the driveway at 5:30am for an invigorating jog. I find that a brisk 5 miles as the new dawn is breaking does wonders for your mind and soul. If you are not up to 5 miles we will begin with 2 and work upwards."
"Next with your intelligence, nothing less than an A is satisfactory nor will be tolerated. Your father told me he had never disciplined you with corporal punishment and I assured him that I did. He is in full agreement. Therefore any misbehaviors or any homework assignment or quizz or test lower than an A and I can assure you that you will be over my knee quicker than your mind can say no."
" Your car and cellphone are now priveledges and will be given to you, as rewards for good behavior and satisfactory academic work." I hold my hand out for your cellphone. I assure you that I will not open the phone.
"I know at the moment you do not feel you are a lucky young lady, but I can assure you that you are. Dean Squires has erased your total first semester and your dismal grades and given you a brand new start on your GPA. Do you have any idea how long it would have taken you to get even back to a 3.0 and I know you know that with a 3.0 there is no chance you would have gotten into Med School anywhere in this country. So please take this as an oppurtunity to begin again. How could a high honor student get a D in Spanish 1?" Did you even go to class?"
I hope you kept your last semester text books as you are again in Spanish 1, Biology 1, Algebra 1 and English Literature 1. Your classes have all been scheduled in the morning and each day Monday thru Friday from 1pm to 5pm you are in Detention Study Hall, so you should have very little homework at night except the advanced reading you will do to prepare for the next days classes. Dinner is precisely at 6pm. I will cook you will do the dishes. If there is anything special that you would like to eat, just let me know. We will do shopping on Saturday afternoon. If your work is completed after dinner you may have an hour of television or use of the pool or hot tub. At 8pm you will take your shower and get ready for bed and the next days classes. If you go to class unprepared, I do not have to tell you what awaits you when you get home the next afternoon."
As I finish the last of my sandwhich, the password to your computer is Smith but you will find that there is a system in the house, that only allows you to get on to the campus internet, which is basically the Library and your Academic classes.
"And lastly, since your computer no longer has the capability to email, please write a letter to your Mom and Dad and let them know you are living in my residence. You may read it to me at dinner and I will stamp it and put it in tomorrows mail." Oh and it almost slipped my mind, but tell them this "that your first semester has been deleted and you are repeating your classes and that all of your 2nd semester courses will be taken in the 6 week accelarated summer school. You will have the month of August for vacation and if you pass everything, you will be a sophmore on September 2, when you return."
"So please go and unpack and write your letter and if I were you I would open your Algebra book and begin to review. Dinner is at 6pm, please do not be late."

As you begin to leave the kitchen I slide my empty plate towars the middle ofvthe table and say "Katherine, Dishes." "And I almost forgot, please inform your gentleman friend that you can have lunch together, but that dating ids out of the question until furthur notice." Looking at your red face, I hod up my hand. "before you say something that you are going to regret, please think about who and why you are in this present situation. If the answer is truly anyone other than yourself, I would truly love to hear it." I stand waiting to see if you have a response.

Katherine stood there staring at the man. She needed a notepad in his presence to simply remember everything that he wanted her to remember at the mention of her gentlemen friend who she assumed he was speaking of Jake a shiver ran across her body. Jake and her had been dating for a few months but it never had gotten serious. Of all the things that Katherine threw away her virginity was one thing she had a strong hold on and Jake had taken that away from he regardless of what she said. Clearing her throat she looked back to the man before her now.

"You do not have to worry about him or any them. I assure you of that."

With that being said she grabbed the dishes from the table and took them over to the sink. Clearing them off of any left overs she filled the sink with hot soapy water and went on to scrub the dishes clean being sure she had them all she checked the table and the living room. Satisfied she put the dishes away and went on to clean the kitchen. She was used to this, use to little messes not the ones that she had been bombarded with when she moved into the dorms. That was the start of her failure.

Finishing her work she went up stairs and put her lap top away. Pulling out a notepad and a pen she sat there looking blankly at the page. Turning her lap top back on she found her playlist. All the music was instrumental. Sitting there she looked at the paper once more till she began to write.

Dear Dad and Mom,

I know that these past few months have been horrible for the both you and for that I am sorry. I promise you that things will get better and I will make the both of you proud once again. Life at college is different from anything I ever expected and the people here well the students are not as kind as I had hoped for. I know you hold high expectations of me as do I and I know right now I have failed those. I have been graciously given a second chance my slate wiped clean of all stains. Please have faith in me once again and trust that I will make you proud. I am no longer living in the dorms I am not living with Dr. Johnathin Smith. I know how that may sound but it is strictly for academic reasons alone. I love the both of you.

Sincerely your daughter,
Katherine

A few tears had slid down her face as she finished. Putting the letter away till dinner she pulled out her books. Looking over them she chose to start with Algebra. Studying ahead for ten chapters she finally felt comfortable with everything they would be going over. Glancing at the clock and realizing she still had a few hours till dinner she chose to go ahead another five chapters quizzing her self between each of them and then returning to previous chapters to make sure she was remembering everything. Satisified with her work she put her books away.

Glancing over to the clock she saw that it was ten minutes till dinner. Getting up from her desk she left her room. Her letter in hand as she headed down for dinner. She would make an attempt at doing her best once again, but her emotions were conflicted as she tried to remember the girl she was before she came here. Before her life had been changed in a way that she could not fix. She could still smell him on her could still feel his hands all over her body and it made her sick. Seeing Dr. Smith standing there she cleared her thoughts and walked into the kitchen.

"I have done as you asked me to do and here is the letter."

Her tone was not as welcoming as it should have been but then again she could not change over night neither. She would put her best foor forward though and try her hardest. It was te days the memories got to her that would be the true issues.

As you enter the kitchen, I smile at you. "I hope you are hungry as I decided upon spahgetti and meatballs." I look at your hand and see your letter. You may seal it and put it on the island. I will put a stamp on it and it will go out in the mornings mail. "I do not have to know what you and your parents share in your letters, but my concern is that the line of communication remain open." I begin to dish up two plates of spaghetti and place two meat balls on each plate. "it had to be very hard for them "to see their crown jewel failing for the first time." However as stated earlier all is not lost.
We walk over to the table and I hold your chair for you to sit. After you do, I pick up the lighter and light the candle on the table. It makes a romantic glow especially with the beautiful sunset over the back yard. I walk to my place pick up the wine opener and open the bottle of Merlot. Walking back over I pour you a glass and come back and pour mine. "I do not mind if you have a glass of wine or even drink a beer, but just do not get intoxicated."
After I sit, I raise my glass and say "it has been a long time since a beautiful young lady as yourself has graced my table. Welcome Katherine."
I smile again at you as you remain with your glass raised. "Umm katherine you are in no danger from me, as I was only trying to make a pleasant atmosphere for you, as I was concerned that our talk earlier may have been overwhelming. But lets just get it out on the table. You are so new here at the University, but I have heard the stories and rumors. "Many think I am gay, others think I do not desire women in general, as I have had oppurtunities from female Professors as well as students. In every case I have denied them. Not because I do not have my urges or even desire their company, but katherine a long time ago, the summer I received my PHD, I was engaged to be married. My fiancee had also received her doctorate and we had such grandoise plans. We were going to open a practice together and become wildly rich and then travel the world. Sighing, well unfortunately fate had other plans as it was after our rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding. Her father was taking his family home and Emily was in the car, when on a two lane road, a tractor trailer blew a tire and there was a horrific crash. The State Policeman that investigated the accident proclaimed that everyone was killed instantly upon the impact of the two vehicles. I was deveastated of course and floundered for a year. Then I took at job for 5 years in England and then took this job and have been here ever since. But on the grave of my beloved Emily, I swore that there would never be another woman for me, and I still feel the same way today.:\
"I am sorry, I guess that does not make for pleasant table coversation, but I just wanted to reassure you, that you are in no danger sexually from me. Now come on please eat, as I again smile at you.

Katherine sits there listening to his story. She suddenly feels horrible for this man before her and for the first time she sees him as a man and not all of the other choice words she had for him. Nodding softly she shakes her head as he finishes.

"Thank you for telling me all of that. It is sad however that you are deciding on a life of solitude, I doubt she would want that because she loved you so I believe she would want you to be happy in your life. Just because you find another does not mean you ever have to forget her."

Taking a sip of the wine she sits there silently unsure of what to say now or where to go from her. He just revealed so much of himself to her, but could she honestly do that with him. Her parents did not even know what happened to her. Sitting there she absent mindedly plays with her food as she is lost away in thought.

I look at you, deep in thought, absentmindedly twirling your spaghtie onyour fork. "I am sorry, but it appears that I have spoiled dinner for both of us. Bring your wine and lets say we take a stroll through the gardens."
We get up from the table and I let you walk in front of me aind out through the back door. Catching up to you I say "if you take the sidewalk it leads to the pool and hot tub. But if you take the gravel path, it will lead you through the gardens. Wait till spring as it is so beautiful. Even in winter it is like everything is sleeping. We walk through gardens and trees and crest a hill and come to a private lake with a big log cabin. This is what they call "The faculty sancuary, but I am about the only one that uses it in the winter. I reach in my pocket and take out my key. The door opens to a huge livingroom and kitchen in the rear. It is decorated in brown leather furniture with a table and chairs overlooking the lake. The couch and chairs face the massive stone fireplace.
I look and see you with your arms wrapped around you and I go to the fireplace and start a fire. Soon the wood is crackling and the cabin begins to warm. I reach out and take your hand and we walk over to the leather chair. Sitting I bring you into my lap and look into your eyeys.
"Katherine, I had the oppurtunity to look into your record this afternoon. You started off well in September, but then discovered no was looking after you and I am guessing also discovered alcohol for the first time and spent more time socializing than in your books. But what I would like to know is what happened around Thanksgiving? And Katherine like a patient of mine, whatevever you tell me will not be repeated.
My hypothosis is either you were molested or raped, as you never went back to attend another class and only showed up to take your finals. I told you my saga now please tell me yours."

At his mention of her telling him her story she stood once again. Pacing back and forth and shaking her head. Then looking directly at him she swallowed hard.

"Everything was fine when I got here, then I met up with an old friend, one I had competed against in a nationwide debate about rape a debate that I won. Defending the victim/survivor. I used the facts that I had at my access including my parents. His name is Jake we met up a few months after I got here and started dating. He wanted to take it further and I didn't I was focused, determined and did not have time for certain pleasures if you will. Then a few months after he took me on a date said we needed to get away thinking nothing of it I went. That is when he turned me from who I was to who I am not. He took something from me I can never get back, something I now just want to forget. So I did everything I could do to forget it happened. I stopped going to class but even that didn't work I saw him every but him being the DEANS son what choices did I have. Of course I have a prestigious name, and my parents could tare this school down but that would only harm more than help more. But I had to wonder if the dean would care if I spoke up against his son, so I did my research every semester there are twenty-three rapes reported and twenty-three cases where the one in charge decided there was not enough evidence. All girls like me, all girls on the fast track to success. Months later these same girls disappeared no knows where they went or what happened. So tell me after discovering that what should I have done... Instead of thinking anymore I chose not to."

She said shaking her head. Her demeanor had changed she was telling the truth but she knew the outcome of it all. Going over to an empty chair she took a seat and stared at the fire burning in the pit.

Katherine, I am a Doctor in psycology and nothing I can tell you or do for you, can ever change the unpleasant memories you have from this unfortunate ordeal. "But here is what I would like you to seriously think about. The forced sex that you had to go through was only physical. It will be nothing like the sex you will have when you are truly in love and so desire your lover. Yes the act will be physical, but it will be wonderful as you will be in love, will desire him and your body will respond in ways you never could imagine. So I leave you with this thought. "The sex you had was no different than if you had taken a sex toy, a plastic phallus and put it up your vagina and lost your hymen. "Mentally my dear girl you are as much a virgin today as you were before, because you did not want it, nor desire it. You are a brilliant young woman with the world at your feet, are you going to let one scum bag take it all away from you? "I stand to take you into my arms.

Katherine shook her head at his words. Looking directly at him she stepped away from him again.

"I was assualted and I have chosen to be a survivor not a victim, that does not mean he didn't take something from me that he did not touch me deeper than just the physical way. Ok so please don't try to analyze me in anyway or for that matter anything I have been through. The fact I am here says enough. I am now at your residence because I had no choice that does not mean I need you lecture me about my past."

Her words were stern as she spoke. Shaking her head she walked out and found a trail to walk down. She just wanted to get away from him. She hated what he said to her, rape could not be looked at scientificly or for that matter on just a physical level she hated what he said and she hated him for hit. So she walked and just kept walking.

I watch you walk out the door and realize that you are emotionally upset and this is probably the first time you have spoken about the incident since the night of the rape.
I sit and wait 15 minutes and figure out that you arenot going to return.
Locking up the cabin I have two paths to begin to look for you. There are 3 hours of daylight left as I glance at my watch. I decide to take the path that winds around the lake anb
d if I do not find you then you must have gone home.
Beginning to walk I hollar out Kathine! and keep walking and peridically stop and call out your name. I feel my anger rising and come to the conclusion "that she is going to get a lesson that she will not soon forget." Katerine where are you?" as I continue to walk and search.

Katherine was so upset. She just walked she had no destination in mind only to be alone. Tears streaming down her face she sat down under a tree on the ground. She had only been there for a few minutes before she heard him. Standing up she dusted herself off and wiped off her tears and took a few deep breaths. Following the sound she took another deep breath.

"Dr. Smith I am right here."

She said as he came into view. Standing there she remained silent and simply waited.