Searching for something I can't explain. Anyone feel the same?

[beachcomber83]

I am new around here and still in the process of feeling the site out. This could fall flat, but I am curious to know if anyone out there feels the same way I do.

I often feel like there's a huge barrier between my true self and the world around me. I have friends, can be outgoing at times, etc, but I lack any person that I feel I can completely open up to, without reservations.

I frequently wonder if other people feel the same way. I think of all the erotic thoughts that pass through my mind that forever go unshared. Sometimes I will pass a woman on the street, exchange a glance or a friendly smile, and wonder what secret thoughts she harbors that she will never tell another soul. Am I wrong to assume that most people keep secrets when it comes to issues of intimacy and sexuality? Are we at least partly in a permanent state of mental seclusion, or is my imagination just more spastic than the average person?

The thought makes me sad in a way. I guess what I am seeking is a woman who is equal parts friend and confidant, somebody that I can completely open up to since we are both protected by this veil of privacy.

I know this message is very rambly, but does anyone out there get what I am trying to say? Or is this place more for casual hookups, etc?

For the record, I am 28 and not too hard to look at . I am open to most any age. Its the intellect and the openness of a woman that I place a premium on.

[sweetcarla]

What a refreshingly honest and, somehow, sweet personal

I find it kind of hard to reconcile my normal-everyday-self and my online-Lit-self. Coming from a place where people are mostly reserved and very Catholic, sex isn't exactly a topic that often gets discussed, even among friends.

I personally feel that discovering Lit has been both a blessing and a curse. Although I don't feel as guilty about my less than innocent thoughts knowing that there are others like me, the newfound knowledge I've gained about sex has made me even more curious as well as more hesitant to share them with other people I encounter in real life. I often wonder if I'll ever meet someone who I can be totally honest with about this side of me.

Sorry if this reply is a bit rambly as well Long story short: I get what you mean I hope you find what you're looking for here. Have a good day

[beachcomber83]

Thanks to all who wrote kind words in response to this message. I still haven't connected with the right person, so I am swallowing my pride and doing the self bump. If you are interested in talking, please drop me a line. Thanks all.

[Amoracchius]

Well, I'm not a woman, nor am I attractive, but I read your personal anyways and just wanted to know you have my support, my fellow man-in-arms. There are very few like you left in this world.
I'll leave with this piece of advice. Don't let the romance die, when you find it.

[kinda_peeved]

when i try to share my interests in kinks, it's like a glazed look overtakes his eyes and face.

its as if a "free for all" has been declared and i as a person, with feelings, no longer exists. its not good


but it will get better


good luck in your searches as well

[ooooohhhhhhh]

beach, it is my pessimistic view that we may never find a person who will completely understand us or know us fully. We don't even fully know ourselves at times.

[chipcarver]

You are absolutely right about the secrets. However I am one who believes that someday you will find the person you can open up to about all your fantasies. Don't give up the search. You may find this person here on LIT or better yet you will find this person right around the corner.

[beachcomber83]

Thanks for the solidarity guys. It is nice to know you are not alone.

[INeedLove]

I think many people can understand where you are coming from with your post. Letting someone behind the facade, or even finding someone who is smart enough to know there is a facade, is a huge thing. It's not always as simple as "what you see is what you get." Good luck in your search.

[beachcomber83]

Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts over the past few weeks. Hope everyone is having that a great day, and if you happen to be online, do say hello!

[Lord_Nibiru]

Yes, I know how you feel (not a woman or a looker mind ). There's only ever been one person I've ever felt totally comfortable with and sadly I was still a teenager with all the (even more) complex BS that goes with it.

I'm sure you will find the person you click with. But if not, well, it's a growing club so be uncomfortable with us all instead

[beachcomber83]

Hmm, that was well put Lord.

[afriendg]

Originally Posted by beachcomber83

I am new around here and still in the process of feeling the site out. This could fall flat, but I am curious to know if anyone out there feels the same way I do.

I often feel like there's a huge barrier between my true self and the world around me. I have friends, can be outgoing at times, etc, but I lack any person that I feel I can completely open up to, without reservations.

I frequently wonder if other people feel the same way. I think of all the erotic thoughts that pass through my mind that forever go unshared. Sometimes I will pass a woman on the street, exchange a glance or a friendly smile, and wonder what secret thoughts she harbors that she will never tell another soul. Am I wrong to assume that most people keep secrets when it comes to issues of intimacy and sexuality? Are we at least partly in a permanent state of mental seclusion, or is my imagination just more spastic than the average person?

The thought makes me sad in a way. I guess what I am seeking is a woman who is equal parts friend and confidant, somebody that I can completely open up to since we are both protected by this veil of privacy.

I know this message is very rambly, but does anyone out there get what I am trying to say? Or is this place more for casual hookups, etc?

For the record, I am 28 and not too hard to look at . I am open to most any age. Its the intellect and the openness of a woman that I place a premium on.

I understand exactly where you're coming from bc...I'm much older and should be much wiser..lol..long married and I think it's gotten even harder to share.
Other barriers come up..real life gets in the way...it makes me sad too..but maybe since you're well aware of it, you'll be better able to find someone you can share true intimacy with..if we all had that..sites like this could go out of business...good luck in your quest

[spunkyE]

Totally Beachcomber!

to look at me i'm nothing special. shy girl next door who harbors a lot of naughty thoughts.

i had a blog for awhile to release some of that sexual frustration but was always afraid people would find out it was me.

Top it off Catholic guilt is really deep..............lol Friends who are married just don't get it. rejection fears also play into it.

sorry got off there on a ramble. but no beachcomber your not alone!

[Noor]

Originally Posted by ooooohhhhhhh

beach, it is my pessimistic view that we may never find a person who will completely understand us or know us fully. We don't even fully know ourselves at times.

or that we can find the person but it is not the time or place for the relationship you would like.

[beachcomber83]

Sage advice. Another thanks to the kind notes that keep trickling in.

I guess I am swallowing my peide and giving this the ole self bump, as the right conversation hasn't quite arisen yet.

[Tappy_McWidestance]

Certainly letting down one's defenses enough to show the inner you is a scary concept. I think being online makes that easier, however, because you can be freer with the anonymous nature of the net than you can in real life.

I have found many people on Lit whom I can talk to without fear of people labeled. We're all here for a reason. While not everyone shares what you are into, somebody here does. So keep looking. You'll find someone to connect with.

[Yukki_love]

I couldn't agree more with what your saying, & as you've noticed your not
alone on such feeling and thoughts. Some of us on here are still looking for someone
to just let go with, not be afraid of sharing the deepest of fantasies/thoughts~ *sigh*
Hopefully you find the person your looking for here on Lit or in real life~ have a good one!

[Thefamiliar]

Originally Posted by beachcomber83

I am new around here and still in the process of feeling the site out. This could fall flat, but I am curious to know if anyone out there feels the same way I do.

I often feel like there's a huge barrier between my true self and the world around me. I have friends, can be outgoing at times, etc, but I lack any person that I feel I can completely open up to, without reservations.

I frequently wonder if other people feel the same way. I think of all the erotic thoughts that pass through my mind that forever go unshared. Sometimes I will pass a woman on the street, exchange a glance or a friendly smile, and wonder what secret thoughts she harbors that she will never tell another soul. Am I wrong to assume that most people keep secrets when it comes to issues of intimacy and sexuality? Are we at least partly in a permanent state of mental seclusion, or is my imagination just more spastic than the average person?

The thought makes me sad in a way. I guess what I am seeking is a woman who is equal parts friend and confidant, somebody that I can completely open up to since we are both protected by this veil of privacy.

I know this message is very rambly, but does anyone out there get what I am trying to say? Or is this place more for casual hookups, etc?

For the record, I am 28 and not too hard to look at . I am open to most any age. Its the intellect and the openness of a woman that I place a premium on.

Shes out there looking for you too.

Just don't get cold feet and run fast in the opposite direction when ya find her.

The soul always knows its kin. Don't lose faith.

[redwingsgirl]

Originally Posted by beachcomber83

I am new around here and still in the process of feeling the site out. This could fall flat, but I am curious to know if anyone out there feels the same way I do.

I often feel like there's a huge barrier between my true self and the world around me. I have friends, can be outgoing at times, etc, but I lack any person that I feel I can completely open up to, without reservations.

I frequently wonder if other people feel the same way. I think of all the erotic thoughts that pass through my mind that forever go unshared. Sometimes I will pass a woman on the street, exchange a glance or a friendly smile, and wonder what secret thoughts she harbors that she will never tell another soul. Am I wrong to assume that most people keep secrets when it comes to issues of intimacy and sexuality? Are we at least partly in a permanent state of mental seclusion, or is my imagination just more spastic than the average person?

The thought makes me sad in a way. I guess what I am seeking is a woman who is equal parts friend and confidant, somebody that I can completely open up to since we are both protected by this veil of privacy.

I know this message is very rambly, but does anyone out there get what I am trying to say? Or is this place more for casual hookups, etc?

For the record, I am 28 and not too hard to look at . I am open to most any age. Its the intellect and the openness of a woman that I place a premium on.

You're not alone. And I know what you mean about it making you sad. I don't think anyone will ever know all of me. A few have gotten close. But there's always some element I'm not comfortable sharing. Perhaps that's just the human condition...

And yeah, like someone else said. Don't run from her when you do find her. That's happened to me. Finding someone you connect with on every level is so rare. Don't get scared when it happens. It might not happen again. When it's right, you'll just know. She'll be a game changer.

[sdnt]

How nice. . . Welcome to Lit. I hope you find more people to share yourself with comfortably. I also hope that you can come out of your shell, so to speak, on here. We all enjoy sex.

[beachcomber83]

Thanks for the welcome.

[monkishgirl]

Originally Posted by beachcomber83

I am new around here and still in the process of feeling the site out. This could fall flat, but I am curious to know if anyone out there feels the same way I do.

I often feel like there's a huge barrier between my true self and the world around me. I have friends, can be outgoing at times, etc, but I lack any person that I feel I can completely open up to, without reservations.

I frequently wonder if other people feel the same way. I think of all the erotic thoughts that pass through my mind that forever go unshared. Sometimes I will pass a woman on the street, exchange a glance or a friendly smile, and wonder what secret thoughts she harbors that she will never tell another soul. Am I wrong to assume that most people keep secrets when it comes to issues of intimacy and sexuality? Are we at least partly in a permanent state of mental seclusion, or is my imagination just more spastic than the average person?

The thought makes me sad in a way. I guess what I am seeking is a woman who is equal parts friend and confidant, somebody that I can completely open up to since we are both protected by this veil of privacy.

I know this message is very rambly, but does anyone out there get what I am trying to say? Or is this place more for casual hookups, etc?

For the record, I am 28 and not too hard to look at . I am open to most any age. Its the intellect and the openness of a woman that I place a premium on.

This is a wonderful and honest post. I can relate very well to your feeling of seclusion with your thoughts, the not knowing how they will be recieved if shared, or if you are comepletly alone in them. I think a lot of Lit members were drawn to the site for similar reasons. Good news your not alone, welcome to lit, wish you the best in your search.

[loralei3000]

I think most of us feel this way especially after being on a site like this one. I feel that if I meet someone I can speak with about my kinks then they lose all interest in the rest of me. Like I become just a fetish and not a person. And the people I don't talk to about them don't get to see a complete picture of who I am.
I wish I had an answer to this problem, if you find one let me know.
L

[Sensualdreamer]

Originally Posted by beachcomber83

I am new around here and still in the process of feeling the site out. This could fall flat, but I am curious to know if anyone out there feels the same way I do.

I often feel like there's a huge barrier between my true self and the world around me. I have friends, can be outgoing at times, etc, but I lack any person that I feel I can completely open up to, without reservations.

I frequently wonder if other people feel the same way. I think of all the erotic thoughts that pass through my mind that forever go unshared. Sometimes I will pass a woman on the street, exchange a glance or a friendly smile, and wonder what secret thoughts she harbors that she will never tell another soul. Am I wrong to assume that most people keep secrets when it comes to issues of intimacy and sexuality? Are we at least partly in a permanent state of mental seclusion, or is my imagination just more spastic than the average person?

The thought makes me sad in a way. I guess what I am seeking is a woman who is equal parts friend and confidant, somebody that I can completely open up to since we are both protected by this veil of privacy.

I know this message is very rambly, but does anyone out there get what I am trying to say? Or is this place more for casual hookups, etc?

For the record, I am 28 and not too hard to look at . I am open to most any age. Its the intellect and the openness of a woman that I place a premium on.

I get where you're coming from. You're likely scared of the rejection that could happen if you were to let those barriers down and let others see you as you truly are.

I think it's possible to get to a stage where you're intimately exposed to other people but in order to get to that point you need to trust the person you're talking to.

I use to be the same way - I was scared what others would think if they knew what I really thought. I came to the conclusion that I am who I am and I don't hold back. If my conversation causes another woman to blush, and her SO gets a hard on well it must suck that he's married to a frigid prude, and I can only guess what he wishes she were like in the bedroom or hell in the backseat of a car .

I'll simply say my ability to embrace who I am makes for very interesting conversations when my friends talk to me, b/c they don't know what to expect from me. Case in point a guy friend sent me a text asking me what I was doing and I told him I was looking at images of anal porn. If anything he didn't freak out, he replied that he thought it was hot lol

Not every woman will understand every kink a guy may have, and not every woman will embrace those same kinks...but when you find someone who'll explore them w/ you w/o acting all disgusted you've gotten lucky.