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Old 02-27-2015, 03:45 PM   #1
Hipshot1554
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Can you talk about it?

I'm wondering whether you folks here can talk openly with your SO about anything sex related. If you can, great, if not why? Are you afraid of their response or are you embarrassed about being open yourself?
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Old 02-27-2015, 06:20 PM   #2
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There were many things I used to be hesitant to bring up with my wife for fear of how she would react and if it would change her views about me. Little by little I would open up and thus get her to open up more as well, ultimately finding out we were both pretty kinky. There are still a couple things I have not divulged as I think she might have some issues with them, but anything she can come up with I know I'd be more than willing to explore or at least indulge her in some way.
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Old 02-27-2015, 06:34 PM   #3
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There were many things I used to be hesitant to bring up with my wife for fear of how she would react and if it would change her views about me. Little by little I would open up and thus get her to open up more as well, ultimately finding out we were both pretty kinky. There are still a couple things I have not divulged as I think she might have some issues with them, but anything she can come up with I know I'd be more than willing to explore or at least indulge her in some way.

Does she know about "Lit"?
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Old 02-27-2015, 06:37 PM   #4
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Yes. She used to log on with me but not so much anymore but from time to time she will log in and see what's what for her own pleasure or to see what I've been getting into.
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Old 02-27-2015, 06:46 PM   #5
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Yes. She used to log on with me but not so much anymore but from time to time she will log in and see what's what for her own pleasure or to see what I've been getting into.
You are one of the lucky ones then.
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Old 02-27-2015, 06:52 PM   #6
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You are one of the lucky ones then.
In some ways yes lol. I don't think she is aware of the frequency of my visits to lit though I'm sure she would have some issues with that but has yet to raise any concerns.
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Old 02-27-2015, 06:55 PM   #7
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In some ways yes lol. I don't think she is aware of the frequency of my visits to lit though I'm sure she would have some issues with that but has yet to raise any concerns.
And what does she do when she's here?
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:06 PM   #8
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Talk

95% of things i can talk about although i never talk about fucking another woman,more so a younger or more attractive lady.My lady is everything i want & need and i wouldnt want her to think any different ! (have i earnt brownie points)
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:11 PM   #9
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First wife had a lot of sexual hang ups, couldn't talk about anything and any suggestion to try something was met with "I'm sorry I'm boring! If that's what you want then...."

MY second wife is the polar opposite(in many ways) we talk openly about fantasies and new things. We may not always agree on trying what the other suggests, but we talk it out and explain why.
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:12 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hipshot1554 View Post
I'm wondering whether you folks here can talk openly with your SO about anything sex related. If you can, great, if not why? Are you afraid of their response or are you embarrassed about being open yourself?
Yes, I can.
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:29 PM   #11
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I can talk about a lot of things with my wife but usually during sex after we usually don't talk about it at all. My wife really has a hard time opening up even during sex.

The reason why I don't discuss things I would like or would like to do is sometimes embarrassment but I think it is often an inability to articulate exactly what I want. Almost like I want her to have an attitude about sex that dictates what may happen and not actual instructions.
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:38 PM   #12
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We talk about everything and have no secrets. I love hearing about what he did with previous lovers in particular and all the naughty things they got up to. We openly discuss our fantasies and desires without concern.
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:38 PM   #13
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I can talk about a lot of things with my wife but usually during sex after we usually don't talk about it at all. My wife really has a hard time opening up even during sex.

The reason why I don't discuss things I would like or would like to do is sometimes embarrassment but I think it is often an inability to articulate exactly what I want. Almost like I want her to have an attitude about sex that dictates what may happen and not actual instructions.
I know exactly what you mean. Things are just better if done without having to ask for them.
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Old 02-27-2015, 09:20 PM   #14
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We've been all over the map on this. Honesty has always governed our marriage and sex lives. We were monogamous but shared an exhibitionism fetish (exposing and public sex). Then our marriage started falling apart. Due to new internet popularity, Hubby began spending alot of time on line. He let me check on his posting which were only discussions and stories of our experiences.

Hubby was hospitalized for a TIA and in a twisted act, I gave him a blow job in his hospital bed (caught in the act by a nurse). I used his account to report my deed to his flasher friends. I was an instant hit. I started posting more under his account and found my story telling talent. I decided to write a novel as a testament to the way we started (and used to be).

We came to Literotica under a couple's account for discerning readers and to get editor help. When we separated for 18 months and talked divorce, hubby came here alone. We reconciled and fixed our relationship. I created my own account, wrote stories edited by my husband, and published my novel.

Our marriage has become open and due to various activities we almost left Lit last summer. Hubby pulled all his stories. I did too but put them back and wrote more about our new sexuality. I submit stories here and talk about sex on the forums to generate interest in my novel and stories. I just can't stop being an exhibitionist.

Our computer always logs on as me but hubby uses my account to peruse the forums and make posts, seldom using his own account. We share everything. Nothing is kept secret.
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Old 02-28-2015, 06:54 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Hipshot1554 View Post
I'm wondering whether you folks here can talk openly with your SO about anything sex related. If you can, great, if not why? Are you afraid of their response or are you embarrassed about being open yourself?

I can and do but she doesn't reciprocate and would have me believe all her thoughts are pure.

Which is pure bullshit. She's as human as the rest of us

Anyway some of the things I've shared with her she's made reality but others not. if I bring them up again I'm pressuring her apparently. So part of me is starting to hold back again and leave fantasy in my head.

Last edited by BareBackRider2 : 02-28-2015 at 06:58 AM.
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Old 02-28-2015, 07:19 AM   #16
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When we first dated [39 years ago!] I was the screwed up prude who had grown up with bitterly separated parents and I was scared about sharing my sexual desires and responses with anyone. My good woman so beautifully helped me love myself as well as her. So that set the stage for total openness which has developed over the years.

We talk a quite a lot during love making, giving a hot commentary to the other about what we are doing. And we often talk about how it was, afterwards or the next day, and that so sets us up for the next session.

We've had our times of trial over the years and they have impacted on our sex life quite severely at times. One period [of nearly two years] we didn't know how to express our disappointment and longing without hurting the other; we learnt a lot through that time and have moved to a much deeper connection.

It was a few months before I told her I was coming onto this forum, which is not something she would ever do herself. But I had to tell her, or else leave lit. So I told her. I gave her some examples of the flirting I had been doing. She copes with this by comparing it to the way she gets all dreamy and wet with the more explicit romantic novels she reads. We have an understanding that we don't need to know everything about the other's sexual explorations as we are both pretty certain they will not lead to cheating in the rl sense.

Likewise it was a few months after getting into my principal fetish which is steel cockrings, before I could tell her. On reflection, so silly! She wanted to be all over me the minute I told her I had something she'd not seen before around my junk!

It's a really good place to be, for a married couple. With only what I brought to our marriage all those years ago, It would not be like this. I'm immensely grateful to her.

Simon

Last edited by suckonsimon : 02-28-2015 at 07:21 AM.
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Old 02-28-2015, 07:31 AM   #17
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if its necessary we can talk about anything....We don't find that we have to walk through the door and say.....
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Old 02-28-2015, 11:06 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by BareBackRider2 View Post
I can and do but she doesn't reciprocate and would have me believe all her thoughts are pure.

Which is pure bullshit. She's as human as the rest of us

Anyway some of the things I've shared with her she's made reality but others not. if I bring them up again I'm pressuring her apparently. So part of me is starting to hold back again and leave fantasy in my head.
When my wife simply changes the subject I know the conversation is over.
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Old 02-28-2015, 12:50 PM   #19
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No I can't talk to her about anything out of the ordinary. She thinks anything other than man and wife "normal" sex is dirty, disgusting, perverted and depraved (her own words, not mine). Pity really as I have a far more liberal attitude!
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Old 02-28-2015, 03:47 PM   #20
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I can talk to my wife about pretty much anything sexually. The only thing I don't talk to her about much is which of her friends I would love to fuck. I suspect that would make her uncomfortable around them.
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Old 02-28-2015, 03:53 PM   #21
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And what does she do when she's here?
She used to look at the ampics section with me but now I think she just browses the different threads and will reply to any pm that might come her way.
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Old 02-28-2015, 05:19 PM   #22
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My wife and I have been together for more than 30 years. This is the second marriage for both of us. Around four years ago I confessed something to her that I'd never before admitted to any other woman. I told her that as a teenager I used to enjoy giving blowjobs, almost daily to my best friend and that I'd served as his willing and enthusiastic personal cocksucker all through high school. What had begun as mutual masturbation quickly turned into, at my instigation, a one sided arrangement where I would suck his cock without recieving or wanting any reciprocation at all from him. I liked the way that being a "Cocksucker" made me feel! Needles to say, my wife was very surprised that her macho husband had been a shameless cocksucker and cumslut, but she attributed this to adolescent sexual experimentation, which in fact, it was. When she asked me if I still felt the desire to blow other men, I lied and told her I didn't. I didn't tell her that in reality I never really stopped being a cocksucker and that except for periodic extended intervals, I occasionally get together with men that I've met online for the purpose of giving them blowjobs. I'm EXTREMELY cautious in my selection of partners and only meet with other married men like myself of who I can be relatively sure pose no health threat to me or, by extension, to my wife. My reason for divulging to my wife about my adolescent history was to see how she would react and to test the waters, so to speak, about the advisability of going further and admit to her my ongoing activities. I was disappointed by her lack of response and her seeming reluctance to explore or engage in any discussion concerning my revelation to her. I tried to approach the subject a few times and was rebuffed repeatedly, the last time with some annoyance. I love my wife and it kills me to be dishonest with her. Aside from this, we have no secrets between us, but I know that to come clean to her at this point would mean the end of our marriage.
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Old 02-28-2015, 06:00 PM   #23
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We were married for almost 40 years and it was only the last 5 years that we started to honestly discuss what we each enjoyed sexually. We started to try a few new things and started developing a list of things we might be willing to try but then he became ill before we got too far with the list.
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Old 02-28-2015, 06:17 PM   #24
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We were married for almost 40 years and it was only the last 5 years that we started to honestly discuss what we each enjoyed sexually. We started to try a few new things and started developing a list of things we might be willing to try but then he became ill before we got too far with the list.
That's very sad, for many reasons. I would have never thought that open communications could be possible after not being there for so long. We don't value time enough 'til we get older.
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Old 02-28-2015, 06:29 PM   #25
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I just broached the subject of literotica with my current partner after a conversation with another member. It was hard and we hadn't been together thr long so I wasn't sure how she'd respond. I was honest with her about it and how it's been a major part of my exploration of my desires, fantasies, and sexuality. She was really pissed at first but then curiosity got the best of her and she's been on here reading my posts and checking things out. She admitted to me last night that the site has a lot of interesting information and got ambit flushes when she admitted some of my posts had actually turned her on. We are still repairing things but I am feeling positive about it so far now that I know she's not going to cut my balls off when I'm sleeping. Hopefully...
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