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Old 06-18-2014, 05:48 PM   #1
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Polar Vortex vs Solar Vortex

Great googlie mooglie it's hot out there. 95F at nearly 6 pm. I can't believe just a few months ago I was bitching about the cold.


As an aside, Dolf's selfie thread reminded me that I have exquisite feet.

I'd post a pic, but that would involve getting up and it's too hot for such nonsense.
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Old 06-18-2014, 06:04 PM   #2
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The river was angry Sunday

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Old 06-18-2014, 06:08 PM   #3
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I once had a lady friend who had a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.

When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.
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Old 06-18-2014, 06:23 PM   #4
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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.

She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake,
and thought that she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found
your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?
The blonde said, No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits... I can splash it on my eyes!
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Old 06-18-2014, 07:45 PM   #5
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I had Cincinnati spaghetti for dinner tonight.

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Old 06-18-2014, 08:16 PM   #6
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I'm basking in the 90 degree temps. I'm so glad that winter has finally left for good.
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Old 06-18-2014, 09:19 PM   #7
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I'm starting to wonder what I'm going to do tomorrow.

Maybe call the guy to come and cut my grass. Maybe I'll start a long weekend and go to the hills. Maybe I won't do anything; what with the heat and all.
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Old 06-18-2014, 09:36 PM   #8
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Watching the Nats/Astros game: There's a big boobied woman sitting behind home plate, in a low-cut tank top bending over to eat a half-smoke.
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Old 06-19-2014, 09:30 AM   #9
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Is Schmott the new buzzword?

I was just getting used to Statist.
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Old 06-19-2014, 09:36 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnySavage View Post
As an aside, Dolf's selfie thread reminded me that I have exquisite feet.

I'd post a pic, but that would involve getting up and it's too hot for such nonsense.
you suck.
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Old 06-19-2014, 09:37 AM   #11
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Foot fetishist ^
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Old 06-19-2014, 09:38 AM   #12
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Foot fetishist ^
manfeet are all disgusting and grotesque, but that isn't the point.
your laziness means more to you than my happiness, mr uglyfoot.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:18 AM   #13
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Don't lash out at me because of your jealously of my perfect feet.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:20 AM   #14
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Don't lash out at me because of your jealously of my perfect feet.
I only have your word for that, bunion boy.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:21 AM   #15
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I don't listen to music very often. In the car I listen to NPR, and at home I'm a TV guy - I don't even own a radio/record player for the house.


But... I am a heavy user of Outlook and an iPhone. Which means I have to plug my iPhone into my laptop and sync Outlook to my iPhone via iTunes.

Now I find myself playing the iTunes Radio for a few hours a day. I still prefer quiet, but the Nora Jones "station" is pretty good.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:33 AM   #16
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Quote:
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I once had a lady friend who had a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.

When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.
You been watching your Slappy White videos again, haven't you.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:34 AM   #17
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I had chili for dinner yesterday. Mine had a lot less cheese, I like sour cream in mine. I made up for it with a grilled cheese sandwich.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:34 AM   #18
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A fairy tale starts, "Once upon a time..."

A sea story starts, "Listen up, Fuckers, this here is a no-shitter..."
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:36 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnySavage View Post
A fairy tale starts, "Once upon a time..."

A sea story starts, "Listen up, Fuckers, this here is a no-shitter..."
I do miss the no shitter stories.

I don't even try to tell normal people about the Philippines or Thailand and such.
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:39 AM   #20
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Sometimes I go down to the Washington Monument, wearing my "Dysfunctional Bubblehead" hat and regale the tourists with somewhat true stories of daring and danger.
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Old 06-19-2014, 11:36 AM   #21
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Old 06-19-2014, 11:37 AM   #22
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Old 06-19-2014, 11:37 AM   #23
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hammer toes
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Old 06-19-2014, 12:34 PM   #24
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verrucas


You're quite the diagnostician. I had to look that up. That's a fairly obscure name for a relatively common affliction.



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Old 06-19-2014, 01:13 PM   #25
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You're quite the diagnostician. I had to look that up. That's a fairly obscure name for a relatively common affliction.



what would you call it?
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