Living out my fantasy next weekend, should I?

[CuriosityCanKill]

Let me start this by saying I'm married, young, and fairly content. Like most marriages, there's some financial strain. To pick up this slack and entertain a few fantasies of my own, I started using Skype to contact men from around the world. Yes, they paid me, but one paid considerably more. So like any good businesswoman, I began to narrow my focus on him. Eventually, he became my only client.
My husband had some idea I was doing this. We didn't talk about it, and he doesn't know the extent. But he saw the random influxes that would save us every once in a while.

Well this man has invited me to a weekend in New York City. I have done some research on him, and I found out he is actually a CEO of a S. American company. I know how far-fetched that sounds, but he NEVER presented that information to me. Google and the source of payments did (as well as his face obviously). I realize there's not much I could truly know about his personality from interactions on a screen, but I do trust him (very hard for me to do) in a business and personal sense. I know to take precautions. I have enough information on him that frankly could ruin him. I am not that kind of person, but that information is post-dated to send in case I don't return. I've already established an alibi for my personal life as well. I plan on keeping it a secret from my husband although he has expressed interest in "sharing me" during pillow talk, but who hasn't?

I'm struggling with this decision though. This is an opportunity to taste a fantasy I only dreamed of. I won't lie: part of the attraction is the money, but it isn't my only motivation. Sex with my husband is phenomenal, but what woman doesn't dream about being spoiled in NY by an exotic executive? And to make the vain confession, the part that I find most gratifying is that I'm worth it.

This is a complicated situation full of pitfalls, but I need the open-mindedness of this community to give it a fair chance.

[mainegirl]

The question you have to ask yourself is, is it it worth cheating on my husband and what happens if he finds out.

[SgtSpiderMan]

I don't think you can honestly consider this without talking to your husband first. If you don't think you can talk to him about this, you might want to reconsider the whole deal.

[SilverDrake]

Originally Posted by SgtSpiderMan

I don't think you can honestly consider this without talking to your husband first. If you don't think you can talk to him about this, you might want to reconsider the whole deal.

100% right!

[theslutbunny]

This woman doesn't dream of it, that's for sure. But then, I've never had to sell myself for money, so what can I possibly say that doesn't sound judgemental?

[jaF0]

Once you get paid to get laid, it can't be undone. Hooker, Call Girl, Whore, Escort, Concubine or whatever other word you choose is what you become. That may not be bad if you can accept and embrace it. They can make a very good living.

[DarkPleasures]

Originally Posted by CuriosityCanKill

Let me start this by saying I'm married, young, and fairly content. Like most marriages, there's some financial strain. To pick up this slack and entertain a few fantasies of my own, I started using Skype to contact men from around the world. Yes, they paid me, but one paid considerably more. So like any good businesswoman, I began to narrow my focus on him. Eventually, he became my only client.
My husband had some idea I was doing this. We didn't talk about it, and he doesn't know the extent. But he saw the random influxes that would save us every once in a while.

Well this man has invited me to a weekend in New York City. I have done some research on him, and I found out he is actually a CEO of a S. American company. I know how far-fetched that sounds, but he NEVER presented that information to me. Google and the source of payments did (as well as his face obviously). I realize there's not much I could truly know about his personality from interactions on a screen, but I do trust him (very hard for me to do) in a business and personal sense. I know to take precautions. I have enough information on him that frankly could ruin him. I am not that kind of person, but that information is post-dated to send in case I don't return. I've already established an alibi for my personal life as well. I plan on keeping it a secret from my husband although he has expressed interest in "sharing me" during pillow talk, but who hasn't?

I'm struggling with this decision though. This is an opportunity to taste a fantasy I only dreamed of. I won't lie: part of the attraction is the money, but it isn't my only motivation. Sex with my husband is phenomenal, but what woman doesn't dream about being spoiled in NY by an exotic executive? And to make the vain confession, the part that I find most gratifying is that I'm worth it.

This is a complicated situation full of pitfalls, but I need the open-mindedness of this community to give it a fair chance.

Sure, cheat on your husband. After all, marriage doesn't mean anything, right? Be sure to let us know how it went. And I don't mean the sex, I mean the divorce, etc.

Since you've already whored for this man, maybe he can pay you enough for you to live comfortably alone.

[tonguedancer]

So your fantasy is to be a high priced call girl? That's what it sounds like. You're getting money to perform on Skype. That's not that big of a deal. We can call that sort of an internet porn site for money. Lots of them out there and lots of people making good money. IF that's your thing, maybe you should consider having a real "pay me to look at me" site and forget the Skype for money.

However, going to NYC to meet this guy for what I assume would be expensive sex. OK, if this post is for real and not some "fantasy" of it's own, then I'd say you should discuss it with your husband and tell him how much money you're going to make. If he likes pimping you out then you're home free. You two could have a great money making opportunity and if he truly doesn't mind sharing (especially for money) then good luck all around. However, if you're going to sneak off to New York with some foreign national and then slip home dripping jizz from between your legs, and your husband doesn't suspect anything, then your husband is the one that's pretty naive.

If you have "balls" enough to think about doing this, then you need to have "balls" enough to make your own decisions.

[jaF0]

Who knows, Hubby may be OK with it. Lots of housewives make a side living like this with Hubby's full knowledge. Only the OP has insight there.

The only thing I see is that bit about the one special client. That could lead to more than bumpin' uglies for bucks which might cause other problems.

[fgarvb1]

Husband aside what happens if things go wrong?

Now what is the worst things that can happen?

What is the best outcome you can hope for?

Step back...think about it.

Now what do you want to do?

Decision made.

[twister947]

As long as your husband is on board, I don't see fucking for cash as any different than, say, playing football for cash. Just protect yourself.

[HotelsAreFun]

Sort of like the movie Indececnt Proposal? Watch and see the highs and lows of money and sex....

[CBM514]

Just my opinion, but you may want to ask yourself carefully, "what happens if the reality doesn't line up with the fantasy?" Then what do you do and will is still be worth it?

Even IF hubby doesn't find out, you will know and it will change you and your interactions and relationship with him.

IF he was "ok" with it and was there or around the area for your protection and security of the relationship after it may be different, but I don't know how you can predict how you will feel and react after taking that step, after it's done you can't go back and undo it

[followmenow6969]

Is it really worth it ? Sounds more like you're fulfilling a fantasy of yours at the possible cost of your marriage, self worth, dignity and possibly your life...

Don't it's not worth it !!!!!

[iamshaun]

I don't like this thread, and disagree with it

Your should probably seek a divorce if your willing to even consider this without his consent as it's not fair.

Put the shoe on the other foot and question how you would feel

[followmenow6969]

Originally Posted by iamshaun

I don't like this thread, and disagree with it

Your should probably seek a divorce if your willing to even consider this without his consent as it's not fair.

Put the shoe on the other foot and question how you would feel

I agree.......

[CBM514]

To me the costs of living out a fantasy seem too high is all

[TheOlderGuy]

Originally Posted by CuriosityCanKill

Let me start this by saying I'm married, young, and fairly content. Like most marriages, there's some financial strain. To pick up this slack and entertain a few fantasies of my own, I started using Skype to contact men from around the world. Yes, they paid me, but one paid considerably more. So like any good businesswoman, I began to narrow my focus on him. Eventually, he became my only client.
My husband had some idea I was doing this. We didn't talk about it, and he doesn't know the extent. But he saw the random influxes that would save us every once in a while.

Well this man has invited me to a weekend in New York City. I have done some research on him, and I found out he is actually a CEO of a S. American company. I know how far-fetched that sounds, but he NEVER presented that information to me. Google and the source of payments did (as well as his face obviously). I realize there's not much I could truly know about his personality from interactions on a screen, but I do trust him (very hard for me to do) in a business and personal sense. I know to take precautions. I have enough information on him that frankly could ruin him. I am not that kind of person, but that information is post-dated to send in case I don't return. I've already established an alibi for my personal life as well. I plan on keeping it a secret from my husband although he has expressed interest in "sharing me" during pillow talk, but who hasn't?

I'm struggling with this decision though. This is an opportunity to taste a fantasy I only dreamed of. I won't lie: part of the attraction is the money, but it isn't my only motivation. Sex with my husband is phenomenal, but what woman doesn't dream about being spoiled in NY by an exotic executive? And to make the vain confession, the part that I find most gratifying is that I'm worth it.

This is a complicated situation full of pitfalls, but I need the open-mindedness of this community to give it a fair chance.

Your last sentence is probably all the answer you need.

Firstly, ignore the replies that are filled with judgmental snarkiness. Any advice given by these people is filled with their own damaged emotions.

Secondly, don't even consider doing this alone, without your husband's informed support. You appear to be blessed with a relationship that you value. This is rare and precious. Even if everything went as well as it possibly could, the weight of keeping that a secret would sink your future with your husband. For your own personal safety, and the health of both your relationship and your individual psyches, don't consider doing it if you don't have your husband's full support.

Thirdly, there is nothing wrong with what you want to do. As others have pointed out here, being paid for sex is no different than being paid for anything else we do. And, yes, I'm sure you ARE worth it. Accept that, and take that motivation out of the equation. Only you (and your husband) can assess whether the benefits are worth the risks. You know the risks are huge. Even if your personal safety is assured, there will be unforeseen emotional costs down the line, and you will need to be forever diligent about recognizing them (they will often appear as unrelated issues,) and communicating about them until your tongue bleeds.

Whatever you decide I wish you well. It's a brave soul who walks down these dark roads at night.

[amofiga]

Originally Posted by TheOlderGuy

Your last sentence is probably all the answer you need.

Firstly, ignore the replies that are filled with judgmental snarkiness. Any advice given by these people is filled with their own damaged emotions.

Secondly, don't even consider doing this alone, without your husband's informed support. You appear to be blessed with a relationship that you value. This is rare and precious. Even if everything went as well as it possibly could, the weight of keeping that a secret would sink your future with your husband. For your own personal safety, and the health of both your relationship and your individual psyches, don't consider doing it if you don't have your husband's full support.

Thirdly, there is nothing wrong with what you want to do. As others have pointed out here, being paid for sex is no different than being paid for anything else we do. And, yes, I'm sure you ARE worth it. Accept that, and take that motivation out of the equation. Only you (and your husband) can assess whether the benefits are worth the risks. You know the risks are huge. Even if your personal safety is assured, there will be unforeseen emotional costs down the line, and you will need to be forever diligent about recognizing them (they will often appear as unrelated issues,) and communicating about them until your tongue bleeds.

Whatever you decide I wish you well. It's a brave soul who walks down these dark roads at night.

1) Agreed: Ignore the snarky ones and probably ignore the other ones as well. This is a personal decision and probably shouldn't even be put out in public of "opinons". Decisions like this that I made in my life, good or bad, have been all mine....for better or worse. It's the way life is.

2) If you can't discuss it with your husband, then it's no different from any other sort of cheating, only you're making $$$ at it. If he's cool with it, go for it. I had a friend where I worked who himself had a business associate in Nevada who's wife was a professional prostitute at one of those legal brothels. He couldn't understand how a guy would be able to live like that. The thing is, it's not for anybody to judge other than the principles involved.

3) Whether or not there is anything "wrong" with having sex for money is an age old question with lots of arguments either way. However, there are places in this country as well as other places in the world where it's perfectly legal and if managed properly, can be a win win situation. Any issues relative to "morality" are for each individual to decide and not "inflict" on others.

Good luck whatever happens.

[CuriosityCanKill]

Originally Posted by CBM514

Just my opinion, but you may want to ask yourself carefully, "what happens if the reality doesn't line up with the fantasy?" Then what do you do and will is still be worth it?

Even IF hubby doesn't find out, you will know and it will change you and your interactions and relationship with him.

IF he was "ok" with it and was there or around the area for your protection and security of the relationship after it may be different, but I don't know how you can predict how you will feel and react after taking that step, after it's done you can't go back and undo it

And this is the conclusion I've come to. He's the best part of my life, my best friend, my everything. I considered this to alleviate the financial stress, but it just isn't worth it. Yes, I'm sick of being in debt and living so frugally. We fought the day I asked this question (something we never do), and it was fed by my anxiety over this. It really would change things forever, always in the back of my mind. Nothing is worth that. Fantasies are fantasies, and sometimes should be left that way.

[CBM514]

Originally Posted by CuriosityCanKill

And this is the conclusion I've come to. He's the best part of my life, my best friend, my everything. I considered this to alleviate the financial stress, but it just isn't worth it. Yes, I'm sick of being in debt and living so frugally. We fought the day I asked this question (something we never do), and it was fed by my anxiety over this. It really would change things forever, always in the back of my mind. Nothing is worth that. Fantasies are fantasies, and sometimes should be left that way.

Even though you are torn and it probably would fun and profitable, I think you have made the better decision for your life as a whole.

Nothing saying that you can't have your fantasy and include him someday maybe, but if he means that much to you then I applaude you for thinking it through and making this choice.

[CuriosityCanKill]

Originally Posted by TheOlderGuy

Your last sentence is probably all the answer you need.

Firstly, ignore the replies that are filled with judgmental snarkiness. Any advice given by these people is filled with their own damaged emotions.

Secondly, don't even consider doing this alone, without your husband's informed support. You appear to be blessed with a relationship that you value. This is rare and precious. Even if everything went as well as it possibly could, the weight of keeping that a secret would sink your future with your husband. For your own personal safety, and the health of both your relationship and your individual psyches, don't consider doing it if you don't have your husband's full support.

Thirdly, there is nothing wrong with what you want to do. As others have pointed out here, being paid for sex is no different than being paid for anything else we do. And, yes, I'm sure you ARE worth it. Accept that, and take that motivation out of the equation. Only you (and your husband) can assess whether the benefits are worth the risks. You know the risks are huge. Even if your personal safety is assured, there will be unforeseen emotional costs down the line, and you will need to be forever diligent about recognizing them (they will often appear as unrelated issues,) and communicating about them until your tongue bleeds.

Whatever you decide I wish you well. It's a brave soul who walks down these dark roads at night.

Thank you for the advice. I certainly don't judge the men and women making a living doing this, but the emotional toll it would take on me would be a huge burden in an otherwise flawless marriage. I'm not doing it. There will always be a what-if in my mind, but that's so much better than any of the alternatives.

[PleasePeesMe]

DON'T DO IT. Buy a lottery ticket, it might change your life. One paid fuck surely will.

[klippert]

just because you've used skype...doesn't mean this guy isn't a serious problem...and what you know about him...he may know a lot more about you...

[eroticman61]

Originally Posted by CuriosityCanKill

Thank you for the advice. I certainly don't judge the men and women making a living doing this, but the emotional toll it would take on me would be a huge burden in an otherwise flawless marriage. I'm not doing it. There will always be a what-if in my mind, but that's so much better than any of the alternatives.

I can appreciate the angst you must be feeling these days with such a highly volatile decision.
Remember, it is your decision to make and I think you have done a good service to yourself vetting it in this manner and seeing all sides.

Don't ever change!