Um... stretching?

dumbgirl

Virgin
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Posts
7
I'm uncomfortably tight, and any time my boyfriend and I have sex, we have to use a lot of lube, and it still hurts at first anyways.
So, I was wondering if there was any way I could just stretch myself? I don't want to be like, crazy loose or anything, of course. I just really don't like being in pain whenever I want to have sex. I wouldn't even mind if I could get it to be only slightly uncomfortable every time, at least it wouldn't be painful.
Any suggestions?
 
Are you over 18?

Have you had a pelvic exam recently and discussed this issue with your doctor to rule out any physical causes?

Have you tried a set of plugs/dilators/dildos in increasing sizes, with the smallest clearly comfortable enough to insert easily, and the largest slightly bigger than your bf?

Look, you could be FISTED regularly, and as long you and your partner are careful to not tear anything, your vagina will snap right back into shape. They are made to expel babies and go right back (again, provided there's no major damage and the woman's pelvic floor muscles are in shape). And given that you're probably not going to be using a toy or cock that is extraordinarily large, you really have nothing to worry about in the "looseness" department as long as you're doing your kegel exercises throughout your life.
 
If your an adult and don't have any medical problems that could be causing it, you can surf the web for exercises that help calm the discomfort, some even help with better sex.
 
First see your gynecologist and rule out any infections etc... Then ask him/her about vaginismus. If you have had something tragic happen in your past this could also be holding you back. Like sexually forced in the past or being raised being told sex isnt right, there could be a mental connection going on. Ways to help

Therapy is a little unorthodox, but worth the final outcome. Physical treatment includes a combination of practicing Kegel exercises (contracting and holding the muscles used to stop urine flow), doing relaxation techniques, and using a graduated vaginal dilator (or different size dildos like suggested) to retrain the muscles surrounding the vagina to respond correctly.

Here is what I found out on Vaginismus what to ask yourself and rule it out:

Do you experience intense burning pain when intercourse is attempted?
Does it feel as though your husband is "bumping up against a wall" while attempting penetration?
Have you been unable to have sexual relations because your vagina seems "too small"?
Does vaginal pain stop after discontinuing intercourse?
Can you point to physical or emotional trauma in your past that evokes shameful feelings toward sex?
Have physicians ruled out all other causes of female sexual pain?
If you answered "yes" to these questions, you may have vaginismus.

I have been married for 15 yrs almost and was doing great in the sex department till after my last child. After that I think I got self conscious and It became uncomfortable during sex. I think it was his demands on me when it came down to it. I ruled out everything through my drs. And just eased myself into what he and I wanted. Now I have no trouble!
 
First see your gynecologist and rule out any infections etc... Then ask him/her about vaginismus. If you have had something tragic happen in your past this could also be holding you back. Like sexually forced in the past or being raised being told sex isnt right, there could be a mental connection going on. Ways to help

Therapy is a little unorthodox, but worth the final outcome. Physical treatment includes a combination of practicing Kegel exercises (contracting and holding the muscles used to stop urine flow), doing relaxation techniques, and using a graduated vaginal dilator (or different size dildos like suggested) to retrain the muscles surrounding the vagina to respond correctly.

Here is what I found out on Vaginismus what to ask yourself and rule it out:

Do you experience intense burning pain when intercourse is attempted?
Does it feel as though your husband is "bumping up against a wall" while attempting penetration?
Have you been unable to have sexual relations because your vagina seems "too small"?
Does vaginal pain stop after discontinuing intercourse?
Can you point to physical or emotional trauma in your past that evokes shameful feelings toward sex?
Have physicians ruled out all other causes of female sexual pain?
If you answered "yes" to these questions, you may have vaginismus.

I have been married for 15 yrs almost and was doing great in the sex department till after my last child. After that I think I got self conscious and It became uncomfortable during sex. I think it was his demands on me when it came down to it. I ruled out everything through my drs. And just eased myself into what he and I wanted. Now I have no trouble!

Good info. I'll note that I spoke to my OBGYN about the painful sex that started early in my pregnancy, and she dismissed my concerns, even when it didn't resolve following the pregnancy.

So last October, I finally saw a female urologist who specializes in sexual conditions. She was able to diagnose me with Vulvar Vestibulitis with some questions and a five minute exam. I told her about the debacle with my OBGYN, and she said most gynecologists don't have any clue about female sexual conditions and will always chalk painful sex with no obvious physical cause up to "hormones" or "psychological issues." :(

Anyway, my condition is still present (though a little less severe than it was last year), but we have found some work-arounds now that we know what's going on. I can't say I find intercourse pleasurable at this point, but at least it's not unbelievably painful, and I'm hoping it'll resolve once I stop nursing completely.

So, my advice is to do some research and try what you can on your own, but definitely see a really good specialist if you're not getting anywhere with self-care or a gynecologist.
 
Wow, I just stumbled on this thread but the symptoms are just what I experience. It got so bad that I told my (now ex) fiancee that I just couldn't deal with the pain anymore and we stopped trying altogether. My ob/gyn told me it was all in my head and I needed to learn to relax, so she was no help. I'l definitely look into finding a specialist. Thanks so much for posting this! You never know who else you might help by doing so!
 
Back
Top