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07-19-2011, 08:51 AM
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#1
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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North Carolina Triad Area - Minions Wanted
The Evil Empire® Needs You!
With the departure of Tall Amy and slavemike, the leaders of the Evil Empire® have an opening or two for eager minions with a burning desire to serve. *Please note that is a "burning desire to serve", not a desire to serve up some burning! That comes later. AFTER the pillaging.* The position of Evil Puppet® has been filled, thanks everyone for your interest. ;-)
But we still need minions!
Plotting World Domination while maintaining a full time work schedule and full time college class load takes a lot out of an Evil Mastermind and his Wicked, Mean, and Nasty consort, so we are looking for help around the Top-Secret Supreme World Headquarters of The Evil Empire®. Specific duties are negotiable. But things that we need help with include typical headquarters and training ground maintenance things like uniform care, mess hall duties, chemical warfare agent dispersion, keeping free-fire zones clear of tall grass that infiltrators can hide in, etc. Useful skill sets would include plant identification and eradication, small arms and appliance operations, close quarters room clearing, and a variety of chemical warfare application skills is highly valued (especially the proper application of defoliants and surficants [and knowing the DIFFERENCE between where and how to use them]...).
Please be aware that initially this will NOT be a paid or 24/7 live-in opportunity. Compensation is negotiable however, and that could include time in The Information Extraction Center. *Calling it a dungeon is just sooooooo passe'.* Tori and I both give classes in a wide variety of torture techniques and we like to keep in practice. ;-) Which reminds me, Emergency Contacts and Next of Kin information might be useful for us to have. Just sayin'. And IF you survive the first 6 months this could turn into a permanent gig.
Where was I? Oh yes... Anyway, our class schedule takes us to a variety of locations and if you enjoy travel this could be a great opportunity for you to be a demo doll, and to network and expand your opportunities to infiltrate other subversive organizations! While performing headquarters duties, room and board will be provided, we have guest quarters that minions can use. Be advised that Tori and I did not spend 2 million years evolving to be the most dangerous predators on the planet just to eat the stuff food eats, so meat of many varieties will be on the menu. But the The Evil Empire® embraces a policy of cultural diversity so we do provide a wide variety of menu options that include meat free choices. We embrace the cuisines of many world regions, you never know when you might have to wine and dine a Head of State or the leader of an international cartel. Can't be pulling a "Busharoo" when the head of a Yakuza family is making a courtesy call, or you are
negotiating with the head of the Hashashiyyin...
Tori and I have been around the block a few times, no falling for assassination attempts by seduction for us! *insert Vincent Price laugh from the "Thriller" video here...* Please understand that Tori and I don't rule out the possibility of turning minions into personal sex slaves, but really, we enjoy each others company and we are not looking for a mythical (or real for that matter) unicorn to toss in the sack. Though that could possibly come with time, trust, mutual attraction and agreement (and suitable biological and chemical contamination free certifications). Really.
We are looking for service, not sex.
Therefore, age, race, gender, orientation, and other such concerns are non-issues for us. What ARE issues are things like overall compatibility, humor, communication, openness, promptness, and location. If you don't live within a 2 - 3 hour drive of Greensboro, NC, please, don't waste your time our ours. The physical ability to perform the services needed and the ability to traverse stairs would be good too. The Top-Secret Supreme World Headquarters of The Evil Empire® is a spacious location on 3 levels (the Daily Operations Center, Mess Hall, Rec Room and Primary Communications Hub is on the ground floor, the Design and Fabrication Office, Information Extraction Office and the Guest Quarters are in the Arie, Maintenance and Storage are in the subterranean level.), but we keep elevators out of the equation so no getting trapped and killed by cutting the elevator cables for us!
Please understand that The Evil Empire® is in fact ruled by She Who Must Be Obeyed - Spaat, *and it is pronounced SP-hot, but the h is pretty much silent. It is NOT said - "sp-AT"!* Empress of All - and Tori and I are Senior Management. So if you have a cat allergy this might not be the right position for you. Unless you enjoy being humiliated by the cat and shed on and that sort of thing. If Tori or I tell you one thing and Spaat says different, take care of her first... Then get back to whatever it was Tori and I told you to do. Otherwise the consequences could be...
Severe.
Anyway, that's enough about us. You can find us at various Greensboro Floating Munch functions, Tarheel Leather Club meetings and other events around the Carolinas and Southern Virginia. If this sounds remotely like your cup of tea, drop me or Tori a few lines. We are on fetlife (me - Evil_Geoff, her - MsToriJones, She Who Must Be Obeyed - Spaat), email me here on Lit or drop us a note there on FetLife.
The Evil Empire® prides itself on being an Equal Opportunity Environment, but seriously, this isn't a position for just anyone. Lazy fuckers, psychotic bitches, drama llamas, out of work actors and double naught spies, and *HEROES* (especially heroes with cute SO's!) NEED NOT APPLY. Unless you can provide certification that you've gone to the Dark Side. We're cool with that.
The line starts to the right, no pushing or shoving, Klingon promotional techniques are not to be used prior to selection since it would reduce the pool of applicants. Thank you for your cooperation.
- Geoff
Last edited by Evil_Geoff : 12-29-2011 at 04:42 AM.
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07-19-2011, 08:54 AM
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#2
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THE MFing Princess ;)
sereneone4u is offline
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a land, far far away, once upon a time
Posts: 36,438
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*pops in to say Hello, give you a hug and a  *
__________________
http://kevan.org/johari?name=serene14u
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but
for the heart to conquer it
Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
And I was seething, breathing deeply
Spitting sentry, horned and tailed
Waiting for you
It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.
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07-19-2011, 10:05 AM
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#3
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Trouble in Paradise....
Shagly is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Too far North
Posts: 74,845
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Any Minions enlist yet?
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07-19-2011, 10:27 AM
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#4
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Awwww, thanky serene! {{{{HUG}}}} back atcha
Not yet Shagly. I'm not holding my breath. Seems cyberwanking is all anyone is interested in but I have hope. ;-) |
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07-27-2011, 03:33 PM
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#5
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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I see it still holds true -
The goobers demanding rough sex get 5,000 views... the guy who wants real service gets 100. 
Ain't no justice. 
Still, one can hope. |
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08-04-2011, 01:10 AM
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#6
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Moderator
Etoile is offline
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 16,628
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Well, *I* liked this ad.
__________________
This is LIT-erotica where the size of your polysyllable matters. --VelvetDarkness
Come to think of it she's kinda like Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way. --graceanne
Etoile you are all kinds of the best --Lord_Steve
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12-29-2011, 04:35 AM
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#7
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Kicking it back to the top...
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12-30-2011, 01:29 AM
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#8
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Really Really Experienced
vampwrrr is offline
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 324
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I trust that you've thoroughly studied the "Evil Overlord List", to maximize your likelihood of achieving world domination?
__________________
I am a wolf but, I like to wear sheep's clothing.
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01-04-2012, 12:58 PM
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#9
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Oh yes, the Evil Empire is a rather happy place, actually. Cheery uniforms, the big red button labelled "Self Destruct" doesn't connect to anything, and we use solar and wind power so we don't have any nuclear reactors to be turned into bombs that will blow the place up. The Security Service has strict instructions to not kick pets, leave protestors alone, and under no circumstances to we randomly pick 1/2 of a couple to whisk away to an internment camp. They ALL go, or no one goes.
Just sayin'... 
Last edited by Evil_Geoff : 04-20-2012 at 02:29 AM.
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01-04-2012, 12:58 PM
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#10
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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... damned duplicate post ...
Last edited by Evil_Geoff : 06-13-2012 at 04:55 PM.
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02-23-2012, 01:14 PM
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#11
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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It's so hard to find good help these days.
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02-23-2012, 01:16 PM
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#12
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THE MFing Princess ;)
sereneone4u is offline
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a land, far far away, once upon a time
Posts: 36,438
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There, there Geoff 
__________________
http://kevan.org/johari?name=serene14u
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but
for the heart to conquer it
Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
And I was seething, breathing deeply
Spitting sentry, horned and tailed
Waiting for you
It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.
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02-23-2012, 01:22 PM
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#13
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Hey serene! Hope you are doing well. Life has been... Mundane here recently. *sighs*
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02-23-2012, 01:23 PM
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#14
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THE MFing Princess ;)
sereneone4u is offline
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a land, far far away, once upon a time
Posts: 36,438
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil_Geoff
Hey serene! Hope you are doing well. Life has been... Mundane here recently. *sighs*
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More hugs
I know the feeling...sigh
I have discovered that I really am a subby though since my first foray on Lit
that has to be something though, right?
__________________
http://kevan.org/johari?name=serene14u
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but
for the heart to conquer it
Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
And I was seething, breathing deeply
Spitting sentry, horned and tailed
Waiting for you
It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.
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02-24-2012, 06:20 AM
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#15
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lascivious loving leopard
sombrablanca is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,469
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I love this ad. Too bad it wasn't a forum rp style o thread. Were I more sub, by a lot, I just might... Though I think I'd be/make a headstrong yet effective general who most were kinda afraid of. The one that -grins when you add the words by any means necessary to an order. A twisted, sick, pleasure filled grin. Would have longest unbroken attendance record in the company for torture classes. The only General that still does ops. Get the picture? xD Hey Serene, glad to see you're getting what you like figured. Knowing is halfway to being verrry happy as you explore it. xD
Last edited by sombrablanca : 02-24-2012 at 06:23 AM.
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04-20-2012, 02:11 AM
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#16
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Gonna kick this back up to the top... |
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04-20-2012, 08:23 AM
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#17
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Experienced
TheArcticFox is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 38
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This was hilarious! Good job, and good luck.
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04-23-2012, 03:42 AM
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#18
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Thank you Arctic Fox. But it seems that good help is terribly hard to find these days. So many want to wank, so few seek to serve. Pity, that.
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04-24-2012, 09:05 AM
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#19
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lascivious loving leopard
sombrablanca is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,469
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Question. On the surficants and defoliants... I assume you mean spread the surficants first, so when we spread the Agent Orange to kill by poisoning, we'll do less damage to the ecosystem? And you're looking for a gardener/servant with the wit and desire that'll fit in? Y'all sound quite fun. Especially in the case of your world domination plans come to fruition. If so, please let me know. While I don't think I'd do well as a menial, and live too far away besides... If you destroy the world's governmental structure and could use a General described as before, I'll rob some yuppie of his 69 'stang, capture his virgin girlfriend and have me a road trip. |
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04-24-2012, 12:39 PM
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#20
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sombrablanca
... If you destroy the world's governmental structure and could use a General described as before, I'll rob some yuppie of his 69 'stang, capture his virgin girlfriend and have me a road trip. |
Just make bloody sure you double tap the yuppie before you head this way... I don't want any stray heroes (or zombies) coming to the Evil Empire® looking for vengeance, that gets so messy and leads to unnecessary drama.
When the World Domination thing gets into full swing, I am sure there will be many upper and middle management/supervisory/officer positions available. Regional Dictators will almost certainly be needed. I'll make sure that HR keeps your resume' at the top of the pile. |
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04-25-2012, 12:10 AM
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#21
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lascivious loving leopard
sombrablanca is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,469
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Of course. n after i get bored of her, and before the shock and pain wear off, double tap her too. Like you said. No letting someone go for revenge.
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05-30-2012, 01:07 AM
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#22
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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Well we still have a minion slot or two open... |
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05-30-2012, 06:47 PM
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#23
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Experienced
strong_daddy is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Southeast
Posts: 82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil_Geoff
coming to the Evil Empire® looking for vengeance, that gets so messy and leads to unnecessary drama
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You need more snipers
Preferably induhviduals who can hit a tennis ball size target at 400 yards consistently with a 7mm magnum.
Not that I am volunteering, payment in one (1) weekly virgin is kind of expensive for most small organizations.
But I am still making the el-oh-el at the first post. |
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05-30-2012, 10:23 PM
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#24
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Equal Opportunity Sadist
Evil_Geoff is offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 6,290
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@strong_daddy - good snipers are definitely appreciated in the Evil Empire®.
However, I'm not sure we could keep someone of your... caliber, shall we say?... supplied with virgins. Those are actually an extremely rare commodity around here. |
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05-31-2012, 05:27 PM
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#25
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Soft petals
INeedLove is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9,842
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(Just stopping in to say hello to EG. Glad to see you posting)
__________________
If you think you know me based on a few statements you've read here-guess again!
Thank you for the drawing softhelmet. 
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