Old 05-26-2015, 10:36 PM   #1
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Regrettable Sex

I had some pretty regrettable sex a couple weeks ago, and honestly I am having a huge problem wrapping my brain around it. I normally like some pretty rough and abusive sex, but this....ugh. I'm just not sure. I had been sort of....worked up....for a few days and went to a music festival. I met this guy who was a lot older.....47-48. I didn't know it at the time, but he has a daughter that is 17 and one that is 20. I'm 24 and could pass maybe for younger. Anyway, he's a musician and we were standing around and chatting about the bands and at one point we were drinking, dancing, and making out. He goes, "My house is just off campus. We can hear the music and drink on the porch." I'm not stupid....he wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck. So I kiss him, grab his hand, and we walk maybe a mile to his house. We go inside and I let him kiss me and this time, I take his arms and wrap them lower around my hips and place his hands squarely on my ass. We make out some more and everything's fine. I go, "Let's go to your room." So we do. We get going and sex is sex....it's good, but nothing unusual. At some point, though, he pulls out, flips me on my stomach, and I feel his hand square between my shoulders. I loved that. Then he was inside me. I loved that.

Then, BAM. He shoves his fingers fast and hard in my ass and I sort of buck to pull away, but with his hand on my shoulders, I'm not moving. I tell him stop, I'm not ready. He doesn't stop. So he fucks me a bit, and his fingers hurt....not excruciating....I really just was not ready for them. So he finishes (inside me - condoms weren't ever an issue, so that....but eh....I can live with that I guess...I don't like using them either). So we sort of collapse and make out a bit. No more pain, and the actual sex was ok, so fine. After we sort of rest, he pulls out something and snorts it - I think it was coke. I declined. We chatted and I'm getting aroused again after a while. He goes, "You remind me of my daughters.......my daughters' friend!" It was weird....like he said daughter, then said daughter's friend. I sort of chilled and rolled over away from him. A few moments later, he's kissing my neck and groping me. I'm sort of warming to him, he's rubbing me down below and it feels good.

Then, BAM. He's trying to fuck me in the ass. FUCK. I'm usually fine....just ask, dude. But he keeps sneak attacking me and it fucking hurts! So I tell him it hurts. He backs off. But he. Is. Pissed.

"Then I'm going to fuck you HARD," he said. Normally, yes! Awesome. But he's creeped me out and hurt me once, so I'm not thrilled. But I don't like the position I'm at and I just sort of nod and roll on my back, mainly hoping he will just fuck me and stay away from my ass. So he sort of slaps my thighs open (it stings) and he slams his full length inside me and starts going HARD, just like he said. He starts saying, "You like this? All you little sluts want to come around and spend my money and you think I won't do anything about it?" That was like a punch in the gut because it REALLY felt like he was talking about or thinking about his daughter and her friends. He fucked me hard for what seemed like forever, and I just sort of went with the positions he wanted, because he was freaking me out. At some point, he started slapping my side and once slapped my face. I was on my back, eyes closed, sort of just taking it and BAM.....he slaps me!!! I reached down and clawed his balls and said, "Don't ever fucking slap me." So what does he do? He smirks, pulls my hand off him, and proceeds to fuck me harder, not slapping my face, but slapping the shit out of my side and my thighs. I had a huge bruise on my side the next day. He finished inside me once more.

So when he's done, I go to the bathroom and try to clean up, but I left my fucking clothes in the room. Shit. He knocks on the door and is like, "Hey, baby....was I too rough......I thought you liked it that way. I'm sorry if I hurt you." So he's being kind of sweet. He convinces me to come out and sort of curls me up and we lay down. He's stroking me and starts kissing me sweetly. I'm anxious about trying to get away, and also sort of warming up to him. He starts fingering me, so I sort of get ready and think, "Ok, this time he'll be sweet and it will be okay."

Nope. He starts fucking me slowly, and then faster...a good rhythm. I start to cum and sort of quiver. He hasn't finished. He leans over and kisses me. "I want to fuck your ass." NO. "Come on," he kisses me. I have nowhere to go. So he starts turning me over and I see what's going to happen. So what do I do? I ask if he has any lube and just roll over. He does, and he is actually pretty gentle. He gets me warmed up and I'm actually feeling good, but still anxious. He starts to mount me and as he does, he goes, "I've wanted your ass for so long."

Ummmm........I met you like 5 hours ago. For so long? I immediately get sick to my stomach. Once again, I think he's got his daughter on his mind. So he starts fucking me in the ass, tugging my hair. He never leans around to kiss me anymore, and his hands just grab my hips and he fucks me. It didn't hurt, but I just felt icky about it because of his comments and me putting 2 and 2 together that his daughter is only 4-5 years younger than me.

Anyway, he finished, and I just felt dirty and used. I got dressed and he called me a cab.....really??? We were a 15 minute walk away and now I get a cab? I was sore in some places and while the one time we fucked it was nice, I just felt gross and dirty about the rest.

Guys - your girl will do anything if she is with you, so long as you communicate with her and let her get there (wherever "there" is that you want to go). I know I will. But I sort of feel raped, but sort of not. And I sort of just feel like a dirty whore and like I didn't own my sexuality this time, which I always do. I'm struggling to get over this one. I don't ever want to see the guy again. And I don't ever want to put myself in that situation. Perhaps I just partied too much and got reckless, but I feel like I lost the right and ability to do that and have fun, if this is what happens.

Anyway, I just wanted to purge, hoping it will feel better to have it out. And if anyone else has a regrettable story, feel free to post or message me. I know it sucks. And I know it happens.

CB
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Old 05-26-2015, 10:51 PM   #2
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I had some pretty regrettable sex a couple weeks ago, and honestly I am having a huge problem wrapping my brain around it. I normally like some pretty rough and abusive sex, but this....ugh. I'm just not sure. I had been sort of....worked up....for a few days and went to a music festival. I met this guy who was a lot older.....47-48. I didn't know it at the time, but he has a daughter that is 17 and one that is 20. I'm 24 and could pass maybe for younger. Anyway, he's a musician and we were standing around and chatting about the bands and at one point we were drinking, dancing, and making out. He goes, "My house is just off campus. We can hear the music and drink on the porch." I'm not stupid....he wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck. So I kiss him, grab his hand, and we walk maybe a mile to his house. We go inside and I let him kiss me and this time, I take his arms and wrap them lower around my hips and place his hands squarely on my ass. We make out some more and everything's fine. I go, "Let's go to your room." So we do. We get going and sex is sex....it's good, but nothing unusual. At some point, though, he pulls out, flips me on my stomach, and I feel his hand square between my shoulders. I loved that. Then he was inside me. I loved that.

Then, BAM. He shoves his fingers fast and hard in my ass and I sort of buck to pull away, but with his hand on my shoulders, I'm not moving. I tell him stop, I'm not ready. He doesn't stop. So he fucks me a bit, and his fingers hurt....not excruciating....I really just was not ready for them. So he finishes (inside me - condoms weren't ever an issue, so that....but eh....I can live with that I guess...I don't like using them either). So we sort of collapse and make out a bit. No more pain, and the actual sex was ok, so fine. After we sort of rest, he pulls out something and snorts it - I think it was coke. I declined. We chatted and I'm getting aroused again after a while. He goes, "You remind me of my daughters.......my daughters' friend!" It was weird....like he said daughter, then said daughter's friend. I sort of chilled and rolled over away from him. A few moments later, he's kissing my neck and groping me. I'm sort of warming to him, he's rubbing me down below and it feels good.

Then, BAM. He's trying to fuck me in the ass. FUCK. I'm usually fine....just ask, dude. But he keeps sneak attacking me and it fucking hurts! So I tell him it hurts. He backs off. But he. Is. Pissed.

"Then I'm going to fuck you HARD," he said. Normally, yes! Awesome. But he's creeped me out and hurt me once, so I'm not thrilled. But I don't like the position I'm at and I just sort of nod and roll on my back, mainly hoping he will just fuck me and stay away from my ass. So he sort of slaps my thighs open (it stings) and he slams his full length inside me and starts going HARD, just like he said. He starts saying, "You like this? All you little sluts want to come around and spend my money and you think I won't do anything about it?" That was like a punch in the gut because it REALLY felt like he was talking about or thinking about his daughter and her friends. He fucked me hard for what seemed like forever, and I just sort of went with the positions he wanted, because he was freaking me out. At some point, he started slapping my side and once slapped my face. I was on my back, eyes closed, sort of just taking it and BAM.....he slaps me!!! I reached down and clawed his balls and said, "Don't ever fucking slap me." So what does he do? He smirks, pulls my hand off him, and proceeds to fuck me harder, not slapping my face, but slapping the shit out of my side and my thighs. I had a huge bruise on my side the next day. He finished inside me once more.

So when he's done, I go to the bathroom and try to clean up, but I left my fucking clothes in the room. Shit. He knocks on the door and is like, "Hey, baby....was I too rough......I thought you liked it that way. I'm sorry if I hurt you." So he's being kind of sweet. He convinces me to come out and sort of curls me up and we lay down. He's stroking me and starts kissing me sweetly. I'm anxious about trying to get away, and also sort of warming up to him. He starts fingering me, so I sort of get ready and think, "Ok, this time he'll be sweet and it will be okay."

Nope. He starts fucking me slowly, and then faster...a good rhythm. I start to cum and sort of quiver. He hasn't finished. He leans over and kisses me. "I want to fuck your ass." NO. "Come on," he kisses me. I have nowhere to go. So he starts turning me over and I see what's going to happen. So what do I do? I ask if he has any lube and just roll over. He does, and he is actually pretty gentle. He gets me warmed up and I'm actually feeling good, but still anxious. He starts to mount me and as he does, he goes, "I've wanted your ass for so long."

Ummmm........I met you like 5 hours ago. For so long? I immediately get sick to my stomach. Once again, I think he's got his daughter on his mind. So he starts fucking me in the ass, tugging my hair. He never leans around to kiss me anymore, and his hands just grab my hips and he fucks me. It didn't hurt, but I just felt icky about it because of his comments and me putting 2 and 2 together that his daughter is only 4-5 years younger than me.

Anyway, he finished, and I just felt dirty and used. I got dressed and he called me a cab.....really??? We were a 15 minute walk away and now I get a cab? I was sore in some places and while the one time we fucked it was nice, I just felt gross and dirty about the rest.

Guys - your girl will do anything if she is with you, so long as you communicate with her and let her get there (wherever "there" is that you want to go). I know I will. But I sort of feel raped, but sort of not. And I sort of just feel like a dirty whore and like I didn't own my sexuality this time, which I always do. I'm struggling to get over this one. I don't ever want to see the guy again. And I don't ever want to put myself in that situation. Perhaps I just partied too much and got reckless, but I feel like I lost the right and ability to do that and have fun, if this is what happens.

Anyway, I just wanted to purge, hoping it will feel better to have it out. And if anyone else has a regrettable story, feel free to post or message me. I know it sucks. And I know it happens.

CB
Wow, there no sorta in your story. You were raped! I enjoy using my Babygirls ass, but its consensual and I ALWAYS warm her up first! Your ass is not affiliated lubricating and therefore needs special treatment to avoid harm! I'm sorry you got raped by some jerk of a man!
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Old 05-26-2015, 11:06 PM   #3
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Maybe. I think what's so difficult is that I have had a lot of rape fantasies. The idea of it turns me on. But this didn't really turn me on - most of it. And it wasn't all horrible. He used his fingers on me well and was a good kisser. If he had just fucked me, I'd have enjoyed that. So I'm just having a LOT of mixed messages from myself here. The ONE thing that's not mixed is that I just feel dirty and used by it and it's just nagging at me.
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Old 05-26-2015, 11:16 PM   #4
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Maybe. I think what's so difficult is that I have had a lot of rape fantasies. The idea of it turns me on. But this didn't really turn me on - most of it. And it wasn't all horrible. He used his fingers on me well and was a good kisser. If he had just fucked me, I'd have enjoyed that. So I'm just having a LOT of mixed messages from myself here. The ONE thing that's not mixed is that I just feel dirty and used by it and it's just nagging at me.
And what's even more sad, is that the next time you want to act out your rape fantasy, these bad feelings will pop up again, unfortunately!! Next time you might try better communication during the act so that you know your in control and yet you put those old feelings to rest also. I absolutely luv using my Babygirls ass but it's at her request, and like I said easier, I always warm her up first. I want her experience to be pleasurable not painful or worse, hurtful!!! Not to mention the emotional piece that you speak so eloquently about!
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Old 05-26-2015, 11:25 PM   #5
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Well next time I don't think I'll easily go to some guy's house. I think those days are probably over.
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Old 05-26-2015, 11:34 PM   #6
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Well next time I don't think I'll easily go to some guy's house. I think those days are probably over.
I would agree!! make your initial meetings in public places with a larger share of personal safety!
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Old 05-26-2015, 11:44 PM   #7
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We met at a music festival...in a street! LOL. I'm just saying I have to be a more prudent and safe slut than just an ordinary slut.

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Old 05-26-2015, 11:45 PM   #8
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We met at a music festival...in a street! LOL. I'm just saying I have to be a more prudent and safe slut than just an ordinary slut.

Maybe a bit less alcohol
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Old 05-26-2015, 11:48 PM   #9
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Had only had a single drink. Like I said, I was looking to get picked up...I THOUGHT I was being prudent. Nope.
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Old 05-27-2015, 12:12 AM   #10
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Had only had a single drink. Like I said, I was looking to get picked up...I THOUGHT I was being prudent. Nope.
A Google App with a background check, lol
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Old 05-27-2015, 12:23 AM   #11
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Dude sounds dodgy as fuuuuck. Between the nonconsensual fingering thing -- how hard is it to just stop doing something like that when your partner says stop -- the drug-snorting and the obvious usage of you as a surrogate for incest, I don't blame you for feeling disgusted. Sorry that happened to you. (And I'm terrified for that guy's real daughter.)
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Old 05-27-2015, 12:32 AM   #12
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I feel badly that you feel used and dirty, mixed feelings do suck especially when you have fantasies about that type of thing. I feel that there is a huge difference between fantasies which in your head play out perfectly and when they come to life. Hopefully you will be able to forget about the bad experience as he seems like a jerk.
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Old 05-27-2015, 09:24 AM   #13
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Wow, there no sorta in your story. You were raped! I enjoy using my Babygirls ass, but its consensual and I ALWAYS warm her up first! Your ass is not affiliated lubricating and therefore needs special treatment to avoid harm! I'm sorry you got raped by some jerk of a man!
Yeah, no question. He belongs in prison. If I were you I'd report it. I hope he gets the same treatment a thousand times over in prison.
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Old 05-27-2015, 12:24 PM   #14
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'd feel really violated too. It doesn't matter what you fantasize about. He took advantage.
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Old 05-27-2015, 01:54 PM   #15
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I think this is very creepy and I can see where you would regret it.

I am sorry that this happened to you. Most men would be thrilled to have the opportunity he had and would be far more respectful, even in rough play.

I suspect he has some anger issues that you have identified.

I wish you the best.
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Old 05-27-2015, 11:31 PM   #16
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Thanks. I appreciate it.
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Old 05-27-2015, 11:53 PM   #17
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Evening CB, I hope your doing well
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Old 05-28-2015, 12:09 AM   #18
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Well, there's a reason to take time in getting to know someone. I've been where you're at, at that age. You're lucky you're still alive. Look, men that age who have sex with women they just met aren't thinking with a full deck. Neither is the woman. It sounds great in a Lit story, but in reality, the chances of the sex being good for both partners is low. I mean no offense. Hope you don't have to go through something like this again.
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Old 05-28-2015, 01:13 AM   #19
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I guess I have to break with everyone else here. I say you got what you wanted. You started and stopped several times when you should have run out the door after the very first incident. What did you expect? There were several warning signs but then you continued on after every single one. I hope you learned several lessons from this encounter because if you didn't you are destined to make those same mistakes all over again. You need to pick your partners more carefully and have a "one strike and you're out" policy instead of going back for more abuse.
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Old 05-28-2015, 01:23 AM   #20
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Well, there's a reason to take time in getting to know someone. I've been where you're at, at that age. You're lucky you're still alive. Look, men that age who have sex with women they just met aren't thinking with a full deck. Neither is the woman. It sounds great in a Lit story, but in reality, the chances of the sex being good for both partners is low. I mean no offense. Hope you don't have to go through something like this again.
I agree with a lot of this. Sex is so much better when you know someone and have a deep connection with them.
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Old 05-28-2015, 01:49 AM   #21
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I guess I have to break with everyone else here. I say you got what you wanted. You started and stopped several times when you should have run out the door after the very first incident. What did you expect? There were several warning signs but then you continued on after every single one. I hope you learned several lessons from this encounter because if you didn't you are destined to make those same mistakes all over again. You need to pick your partners more carefully and have a "one strike and you're out" policy instead of going back for more abuse.
I can't speak for CB, and maybe I'm the wrong person to try to imagine myself in that situation, but if I was a woman and ended up in that situation I would be fucking scared. Too scared to even try anything that might piss him off, especially since he seemed to get extremely pissed when she told him it hurt. I don't even think I would dare to make a run for it, what if he caught me and decided to make things even worse? No, I would probably try to just get through it, have him be done and then leave. Not that I would feel good about it, but if it would ease up the punishment I'd just try to play along. And I would most likely fall for it every time he started acting sweet, thinking 'OK, he's calmed down, thank god, it'll probably be different now'.

Like I said, I can't speak for CB, but I'm not sure I would dare try to run out on a guy like that, especially one that suddenly starts to snort coke. I don't know if this is the mindset CB was in but it would most likely be the mindset I would be in.
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Old 05-28-2015, 02:42 AM   #22
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I don't even know about "scared" but I could very easily see being confused and finding it hard to process and react to what's happening in the moment. It's very easy to comment on that with the benefit of distance, but a lot harder to actually get up and walk out the split-second something you don't like or didn't consent to happens when you're in the situation, especially since rationalizing and trying to give the benefit of the doubt to other people's behaviour is a pretty commonplace human impulse.

The ambiguities of memory and perception can cause you to second-guess yourself, to boot. It can take a couple of weeks to even process: "Did I clearly indicate 'no' to that one thing he did? No, yes, yes I fucking did clearly indicate it." This kind of ambiguity and uncertainty is what leads to a lot of people believing -- quite mistakenly -- that false accusations of rape are a common thing.

Calling any of this the OP "getting what she wanted" strikes me as actually rather callous, though obviously learning from any experience and working out strategies is a good thing.
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Old 05-28-2015, 03:13 AM   #23
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I guess I have to break with everyone else here. I say you got what you wanted. You started and stopped several times when you should have run out the door after the very first incident. What did you expect? There were several warning signs but then you continued on after every single one. I hope you learned several lessons from this encounter because if you didn't you are destined to make those same mistakes all over again. You need to pick your partners more carefully and have a "one strike and you're out" policy instead of going back for more abuse.
Despicable comment.
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:54 AM   #24
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I acknowledge my own role in getting in the situation, thanks. But I'm 5'3 and this guy is 6'2" and just a big guy. He could have done some real damage. At the time he got really angry, I seriously thought it was simply because I wouldn't let him fuck me in the ass and so I'm thinking I'd be just fine letting him fuck me hard instead of making him angrier and risking him raping me in the ass. I just tried to endure the lesser of two bad options and frankly knew that I could take it if it was just some rough, pounding sex. But the second I felt the butt of his hand light up the side of my face, I got scared. That fucking hurt and I was spread out, him inside me, my thighs locked apart where I could not easily move away, and now knowing he had bad intentions. Honestly, I am grateful that he didn't beat me worse for clawing him, which was the only response I felt I could give and did. So then, when he finished and I was crying in the bathroom, he consoles me....that was confusing as hell. Nobody else was there to make me feel better and you have to understand that I was not thinking I whad been raped.....I was just like, "Fuck this guy.....I'm way sore....why did he have to be that way, I wanted to fuck him and couldn't he have just been sweet and grateful?" So there he was being sweet and grateful. He wasn't stupid...he was manipulating, still trying to get what he wanted. I see that now, but at the time, I just felt, "Ok, NOW he's going to be more gentle....and I deserve that after all this." So it was all very confusing and upsetting. The very reason I am having trouble with it is that - yes.....you bet I made some BAD choices. I KNOW that. And several people here PM'd me with the insistence that I go to the police, etc. I haven't because I am not convinced he raped me. I went to his house to have sex. To have some rough sex, if he wanted. But somewhere in there, he jumped way over a line and I felt myself being used and exploited, and some of it hurt me, and no guy should ever get to do that to me. Or anyone. I'm a good girl who would do anything for a guy she is with if he is respectful and let' me get there. I have hooked up with guys who were maybe equally as rough, but who were patient enough that i felt safe and when i did, then I gave them anything they wanted....I enjoy that kind of mutually carnal, filthy, hard, sex.....of course. But this asshole didn't make me feel safe and it was very scary. I felt like if I further resisted it may have been VERY bad. So I did what I did. I'm sorry you don't approve. I don't ask you to. But what this guy did, even if it was not rape (and certainly if it was rape) was NOT okay. I deserved better. But yet there I was, left soiled and feeling like a gutter slut. No girl should ever feel like that. I get it that some of it is my fault and I of course regret it now. But it was certainly not what I wanted.
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Old 05-28-2015, 12:48 PM   #25
MrRandyWatson
Really Really Experienced
 
MrRandyWatson is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 430
Quote:
Originally Posted by subwannabe View Post
I guess I have to break with everyone else here. I say you got what you wanted. You started and stopped several times when you should have run out the door after the very first incident. What did you expect? There were several warning signs but then you continued on after every single one. I hope you learned several lessons from this encounter because if you didn't you are destined to make those same mistakes all over again. You need to pick your partners more carefully and have a "one strike and you're out" policy instead of going back for more abuse.
I get what you're saying - yes, it's a person's responsibility to avoid being in a bad situation of any kind, not just rape - but this isn't helping. Let CB heal, find a way to get back to a good place, and then worry about making sure it doesn't happen again.
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