fuckmeat
That all you got?
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2010
- Posts
- 2,492
Disclaimer: This is in no way a discussion about domestic abuse, which is a crime rightly punishable by law. No glorification of domestic abuse will be tolerated here.
This is about the kind of acts of violence that get me hot, and which can be administered in a (mostly) controlled way by a dominant/sadist who understands this need in me.
I am a sub/maso who identifies as a slave. I was a slave for 4 years to my last partner and have been single for nearly a year. I've never been much into the props 'n' protocol style of (safe, sane, consensual or SSC) BDSM. Bondage and implements seem to detach me from my partner somehow. They have their place but nothing gets me hotter than what someone can do to me with their bare hands... or fists. The acts I'm alluding to here include stuff like: -
Face slapping/backhand/spanking in general
Choking/asphyxia
Pinning/restraining with bare hands, strength and weight
Hair pulling
Forced oral/face-rape/face-sitting
Groping/scratching/biting/squeezing etc
Punching
Kicking
Being bodily shoved/thrown
Control of basic necessities; diet, sanitation, comfort, warmth, workload/exercise/movement, rest/sleep, contact with others etc
Extensions of this, for me as someone who craves humiliation are things like spitting, golden showers, facials etc. I have strong kinks for verbal humiliation, mockery, objectification, degradation... you name it.
I have a much higher tolerance to 'thuddy' pain than 'stingy' pain, if that makes any sense. My last long term partner was female but although the size/strength disparity wasn't considerable, I could still tolerate and even enjoy a great deal of violence from her. Obviously a guy would need to apply more restraint but I have really strong kinks for appalling treatment. It worries me.
I'm the kind of slave who needs to be subjugated, who needs real and prescient fear. What I don't need are clear rules and boundaries or fairness. I need unpredictability and caprice in a dominant, to be at the mercy of their every whim. I'm not talking mindless thuggery here either. The dominant I crave is highly intelligent, sardonic, devious, cruel and downright malevolent. S/he is someone who will gleefully throw open the oubliette of my soul to amuse themselves with my darkest memories and deepest insecurities.
If I won the lottery and became a multi-millionaire tomorrow, all I would truly want would be the right dominant/sadist to keep me as their possession. Being a rich person's slave would arguably be better than being a poor person's slave but beyond that, I really would not care. It's such a deep fantasy/need in me that I don't really have any other powerful life goals any more. I'm not even terrifically motivated career-wise or anything like that.
So, on a scale of 1 to irretrievably fucked in the head...
Am I alone in this?
This is about the kind of acts of violence that get me hot, and which can be administered in a (mostly) controlled way by a dominant/sadist who understands this need in me.
I am a sub/maso who identifies as a slave. I was a slave for 4 years to my last partner and have been single for nearly a year. I've never been much into the props 'n' protocol style of (safe, sane, consensual or SSC) BDSM. Bondage and implements seem to detach me from my partner somehow. They have their place but nothing gets me hotter than what someone can do to me with their bare hands... or fists. The acts I'm alluding to here include stuff like: -
Face slapping/backhand/spanking in general
Choking/asphyxia
Pinning/restraining with bare hands, strength and weight
Hair pulling
Forced oral/face-rape/face-sitting
Groping/scratching/biting/squeezing etc
Punching
Kicking
Being bodily shoved/thrown
Control of basic necessities; diet, sanitation, comfort, warmth, workload/exercise/movement, rest/sleep, contact with others etc
Extensions of this, for me as someone who craves humiliation are things like spitting, golden showers, facials etc. I have strong kinks for verbal humiliation, mockery, objectification, degradation... you name it.
I have a much higher tolerance to 'thuddy' pain than 'stingy' pain, if that makes any sense. My last long term partner was female but although the size/strength disparity wasn't considerable, I could still tolerate and even enjoy a great deal of violence from her. Obviously a guy would need to apply more restraint but I have really strong kinks for appalling treatment. It worries me.
I'm the kind of slave who needs to be subjugated, who needs real and prescient fear. What I don't need are clear rules and boundaries or fairness. I need unpredictability and caprice in a dominant, to be at the mercy of their every whim. I'm not talking mindless thuggery here either. The dominant I crave is highly intelligent, sardonic, devious, cruel and downright malevolent. S/he is someone who will gleefully throw open the oubliette of my soul to amuse themselves with my darkest memories and deepest insecurities.
If I won the lottery and became a multi-millionaire tomorrow, all I would truly want would be the right dominant/sadist to keep me as their possession. Being a rich person's slave would arguably be better than being a poor person's slave but beyond that, I really would not care. It's such a deep fantasy/need in me that I don't really have any other powerful life goals any more. I'm not even terrifically motivated career-wise or anything like that.
So, on a scale of 1 to irretrievably fucked in the head...
Am I alone in this?
