Post your Craigslist Personals Ad here:
Shy lonely middle-aged man with skin and hair issues looking for anonymous sex in exchange for my mom's pearl necklace. She won't be home this weekend, so please respond quickly.
Disclaimer: Read all posts tongue in cheek, not head up ass. Itíll go oh so better for you in the long run.
Oh, and if I've annoyed you, remember, you started it.
My Stories: Are here.