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Old 05-18-2011, 02:58 AM   #1
EctoJohn
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Do I fuck my neighbor's wife?

lol, Recently we just had a going away party for my brother and there was lots of people... and lots of beer.
Well, my neighbors were invited over, we don't know them well, but they are friendly and the guy offered to DJ it (he had all the equipment).
So he was DJing and his wife was partying... she got WASTED.
The level of wasted where she had to lean on people she was talking to and talk really close to their ear.

In particular, she seemed to be into me.
Now this woman is in her 50s I think.
But she was around me all night (mostly out of drunkeness) but even dragged me out to dance.
Not old people dancing, either.
Like full on drop-it-low dancing, ass-to-crotch bump and grind.
I dunno what else to call it, I don't dance at all, I barely know how to socialize irl.

But, yeah, it was pretty obvious she was into me.
lol, My cousin kept giving me the "fuck her" signal any time her back was turned and I could see.

She ain't anything to look at, and like I said, she's in her 50s I think, so at least 20+ years older than me.

Ended up walking her home because by the end of the night she was too drunk to stand up straight long enough
to walk the 30 feet from my front door to hers.
In her drunken stupor, she HAD to invite me in to show me around the house.
Like even had to show me her washer and dryer... total wasted.

I wasn't about to put the moves on a much older, drunken, married woman.
But that night makes me wonder if I could. o.O

There's probably something wrong with me that ponders the thought of banging her just because I can and to hell with morals.
And who knows, all that flirting was probably the 7 gallons of beer in her, I haven't ran into her since then to chat.

But what if it wasn't just the beer talking?
Suppose I'm doing the neighborly chat thing over the fence, bring up the party to have a laugh, and she's still flirty? What then?
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:07 AM   #2
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You're assuming she would be cheating. But maybe they have an open relationship. Maybe they're swingers. Maybe she's acting as an emmisary of hubby and HE'S the one hoping to get you in bed.

My point is you are trying to make a decision on way too little data. Those decisions rarely go well.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:10 AM   #3
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There was NO way you could have made a pass at her that night, you already described how drunk she was, and sorry, pervs as we all are, that's just wrong (unless it's pre-arranged, of course)

So I agree with Cute, find out from hubby or from her if they are swingers, if they share etc. If they don't, then I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole, imo.

But, I'm just a girl.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:24 AM   #4
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I very much doubt it's an open relationship.

They are both former divorcees, or I know at least he is.
Pretty sure she is too.
So it's unlikely they are too open.

lol, He doesn't seem the swinger type, and if he was I ain't going anywhre near that.

I doubt she was acting emmisary of anything, he only walked away from that DJ booth he set up for himself twice in the whole night and that was more or less to grab a beer and say hi to people.

Hell, the second time he came over, I invited him over myself because I felt bad that he was doing all this work for free and not enjoying the party.

She was definatly partying alone there with no mission.
I wasn't the only one she was clinging to, she was drunk, but it seemed to everyone else she had her eye on me.

I was kind of oblivious to it, really, until later in the night when my cousin kept pointing it out.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:40 AM   #5
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My point is you are trying to make a decision on way too little data. Those decisions rarely go well.
I would second that.

Think it through. Never let your penis make a decision outside the bedroom.
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:29 AM   #6
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Wink

Pros
- No-strings sex
- She's a lush and an uncomplicated one
- You already want to fuck her
- You can experience a true older woman and cross it off the "Things To Do Before I Die" list
- She's too old to get pregnant and you won't have to "pull out"
- She's old enough to know how to keep an affair on the down low

Cons
- Might be the drink talking and you might have to get her equally as drunk to get shit started, which means putting in work and spending time bullshitting
- After you get your nut (deep inside her hungry womb, of course) and clear the haze of horny miasma from your head, you might not wanna deal with it no mo' and things could get awkward without the power of selfish lust to bond both of you
- It could be a lousy lay
- If you fuck her too good, she might get clingy and make shit suspicious between you and your neighbor
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:32 AM   #7
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Pros

- She's too old to get pregnant and you won't have to "pull out"
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:36 AM   #8
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I say go for it.
Just lean over the fence and yell out "WANNA FUCK?!"
And take pics.
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:38 AM   #9
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I have fucked a neighbor, and I have fucked a man's wife, but I have never fucked a neighbor's wife.

Wait, yes, I have, of course I have.

Nevermind. Carry on.
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:52 AM   #10
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ACCHONBURIKE!!!
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:30 AM   #11
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Depends how much longer you want to live.
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:24 AM   #12
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:27 AM   #13
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Beware of long stories that kick off with a lowercase "lol".
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:58 AM   #14
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Don't shit where you eat
Rule #4: The only reason a woman will cheat on her husband with a man her husband knows is because she plans to tell him all about it, at a time when it will cause the greatest anguish.

Even though this thread is bogus, Rule #4 still holds.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:05 AM   #15
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I say go for it.
Just lean over the fence and yell out "WANNA FUCK?!"
And take pics.
i concur.
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Old 05-18-2011, 11:16 AM   #16
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Beware of long stories that kick off with a lowercase "lol".
I was thinking the exact same thing.
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Old 05-18-2011, 11:24 AM   #17
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I was thinking the exact same thing.
ditto, but even assuming it's true, it's quite possible she just had her beer goggles on and was hormonal. In the cold light of day I'm sure she'd be mortified to think that anyone would even think she was making a play for a low life like you.
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Old 05-18-2011, 12:10 PM   #18
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BANG HER!!! She's old enough to not have-to worry about knocking her up. But then again, it would be hot to see the neighbor-slut swollen-up and letting-down pre-milk slightly through her party-dress' bodice.
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Old 05-18-2011, 12:17 PM   #19
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He lost me at "lol".
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Old 05-18-2011, 12:41 PM   #20
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Old 05-18-2011, 02:22 PM   #21
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Old 05-18-2011, 02:34 PM   #22
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Even though this thread is bogus, Rule #4 still holds.
This thread definatly isn't bogus.

I mean, you go right ahead and think I'm full of shit if you'd like, it doesn't really matter either way.

I know the story is real.

I started the thread with lol because I find it funny.
If that's too hard for you to read beyond an lol, then reading is just hard for you in general which doesn't say much for you.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:41 PM   #23
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ACCHONBURIKE!!!
Now that's an anime I haven't watched in a while! lol (Black Jack)
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:44 PM   #24
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Rule #4: The only reason a woman will cheat on her husband with a man her husband knows is because she plans to tell him all about it, at a time when it will cause the greatest anguish.

Even though this thread is bogus, Rule #4 still holds.
Almost always.....
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:48 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by EctoJohn View Post
This thread definatly isn't bogus.

I mean, you go right ahead and think I'm full of shit if you'd like, it doesn't really matter either way.

I know the story is real.

I started the thread with lol because I find it funny.
If that's too hard for you to read beyond an lol, then reading is just hard for you in general which doesn't say much for you.
That was someone else who said it was bogus because of the lol.

I think the thread is bogus because you put it on Lit and then asked us what you should do.

If your ever come close to fulfilling your little fantasy, repeat Rule #4 to yourself 3 times before you unzip your pants.
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My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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