Old 09-23-2017, 10:11 PM   #1
iLackBrainCells
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😁 Post A Joke 😁

It can be anything you like, sexual or not... Enjoy yourself!

I once had a friend, Joe, who worked in the coal mines. Unfortunately, he was killed in a freak accident when some movers lost their grip on a grand piano they were transporting; the piano fell down the mine shaft and crushed Joe to death. A local composer wrote an orchestral piece in memory of Joe:

It was called "Symphony in A Flat Miner."
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Old 09-24-2017, 09:07 AM   #2
iLackBrainCells
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An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, ''Why are you going to sleep on the floor?'' The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
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Old 09-24-2017, 09:30 AM   #3
twisteroo
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How does the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
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Old 09-30-2017, 04:47 AM   #4
RustyIron
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Little Johnny

Teacher
who can give me a word that is not in the dictionary, and then use it in a sentance

Little Johnny
Yes sir I can.


Teacher
Alright then Johnny what is your word.


Little Johnny
Garn


Teacher
yes Johnny that word is not in the dictionary, now can you use it in a sentence.

Little Johnny
Yes Sir "Garn get fucked"

Teacher
Right come on Johnny off to the principals office we can't have that in class.

some time later

Teacher
Can anyone give me another word that's not in the dictionary and then use it in a sentence.


Little Johnny
Yes Sir I can


Teacher
alright Johnny go ahead

Little Johnny
Smee


Teacher yes you are correct that is not in the dictionary can use use it in a sentence.

Little Johnny
yes sir I can " Smee again, Garn get fucked"
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Old 10-09-2017, 06:41 AM   #5
RustyIron
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Went to the Employment agency the other day.
The lady behind the counter said,
Yes sir what can I do for you.
I said, well I want a job, may be you could help me
Yes sir, what kind of job are you looking for,
I said well
Head Job
Hand Job
Blow job
Or All of the above

She said I should leave,
Talk about hard to get on with
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Old 10-10-2017, 05:01 AM   #6
iLackBrainCells
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When three people have sex together it's called a threesome.

When two people have sex together, it's called a twosome.

Now I understand why people call me handsome.
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Old 10-11-2017, 05:16 AM   #7
Iceprincess12
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Someone sent this to me, but Iím taking credit anyway

A Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead walk into the office block lift on there way to work.

Noticing some fluid on the lift wall the Brunette says "that looks like spunk"

The redhead puts her nose to it and says
"well it certainly smells like spunk"

The Blond wipes some off with her finger and tastes it.

"Well its nobody from our floor"
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Don't adjust your monitor, you are about to enter the irony zone...You have nothing to hide? Use your own picture instead of something found on the internet as your AV.

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Old 10-11-2017, 11:38 AM   #8
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Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read, "BEAR LEFT". So they went home.
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Old 10-11-2017, 01:10 PM   #9
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Why do married guys receive fewer injuries when theyíre involved in side impact crashes?

They have a passenger side wind bag
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Old 10-11-2017, 01:27 PM   #10
iLackBrainCells
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceprincess12 View Post
Someone sent this to me, but Iím taking credit anyway

A Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead walk into the office block lift on there way to work.

Noticing some fluid on the lift wall the Brunette says "that looks like spunk"

The redhead puts her nose to it and says
"well it certainly smells like spunk"

The Blond wipes some off with her finger and tastes it.

"Well its nobody from our floor"
Quote:
Originally Posted by done_got_old View Post
Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read, "BEAR LEFT". So they went home.
These two made me smile. I might pass them on too..
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Old 10-11-2017, 01:41 PM   #11
jeff_is_smiling
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Some inspirational words first....

- Never play leap-frog with a unicorn....

- Time flies like an arrow......fruit flies like a banana....

Now, a joke....

A man takes an alligator into a bar and says he can prove the gator is VERY friendly. If the bartender is willing to give him free drinks, he'll get the gator to go down on him.

Another man sitting nearby is very interested and comes closer to watch. As the first man unzips, the gator scoots over and opens his mouth. Sure enough, the gator uses its tongue on the man. When he cums, he quickly pulls out and hits the gator on the nose with a stick.

The place erupts in cheers. Turning to the 2nd man, the first asks if he'd like to try.

"Not if you're going to hit my in the nose with that stick!"
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Old 10-12-2017, 03:08 AM   #12
Iceprincess12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeff_is_smiling View Post
Some inspirational words first....

- Never play leap-frog with a unicorn....

- Time flies like an arrow......fruit flies like a banana....

Now, a joke....

A man takes an alligator into a bar and says he can prove the gator is VERY friendly. If the bartender is willing to give him free drinks, he'll get the gator to go down on him.

Another man sitting nearby is very interested and comes closer to watch. As the first man unzips, the gator scoots over and opens his mouth. Sure enough, the gator uses its tongue on the man. When he cums, he quickly pulls out and hits the gator on the nose with a stick.

The place erupts in cheers. Turning to the 2nd man, the first asks if he'd like to try.

"Not if you're going to hit my in the nose with that stick!"
The groan is real
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House

Don't adjust your monitor, you are about to enter the irony zone...You have nothing to hide? Use your own picture instead of something found on the internet as your AV.

That was from a google av user.
I pee myself every time I read it.

An old soundcloud, just because.
https://soundcloud.com/frenchieluv/new-age-nonsense
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Old 10-12-2017, 09:28 AM   #13
iLackBrainCells
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What does a Rubik's cube and a cock have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get!
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Old 10-16-2017, 12:09 AM   #14
Iceprincess12
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(Repost from someone else)

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of discharge. The doctor says, "Pop your knickers off and get on the bed." He puts his latex gloves on and applies three fingers into her vagina.

"How does that feel?"

"Fucking lovely," replies the woman.
"But the discharge is in my ear."
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"If nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong"
House

Don't adjust your monitor, you are about to enter the irony zone...You have nothing to hide? Use your own picture instead of something found on the internet as your AV.

That was from a google av user.
I pee myself every time I read it.

An old soundcloud, just because.
https://soundcloud.com/frenchieluv/new-age-nonsense
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Old 10-16-2017, 06:53 AM   #15
RustyIron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceprincess12 View Post
(Repost from someone else)

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of discharge. The doctor says, "Pop your knickers off and get on the bed." He puts his latex gloves on and applies three fingers into her vagina.

"How does that feel?"

"Fucking lovely," replies the woman.
"But the discharge is in my ear."
Bahahahahahaah, I like that one.
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Old 10-17-2017, 02:35 AM   #16
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Iím through dating women a lot younger than me.

I bought my girl a very large, very expensive gift, and when she opened it, she ignored the present and started playing in the box.
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