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Old 04-24-2011, 03:46 PM   #1
mrbimystery
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Has your secret ever come out?

I think one of my biggest fears ever is people finding out that i like having sex with men as much as i like having sex with women. I also have a huge fear that they will find out about my desire to dress as a woman. so my question to the lit community is have you ever been found out? What happened? How did you cope?

I know this isnt your typical "favorite shemale" or "first time" thread but i think its important we support each other beyond just sex as well.
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Old 04-24-2011, 03:54 PM   #2
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My thoughts on this are ,

Try to find self acceptance , you are who you are and you like what you like , don't let what other people may or may not think of you rule your life !

I am a life long cross-dresser and several people in my life know of my cross-dressing , none of them treats me any differently that they did beofre I either told them or they found out from mutual friends.

Do yourself a favor , be yourself and enjoy your life !

Best of luck to you ,
T
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Old 04-24-2011, 03:57 PM   #3
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It's a good topic, my friend. Coming out can be pretty terrifying. sometimes the consequences are bad, let's face it. But sometimes the terror turns out to be unfounded. I hope folks will share both kinds of stories here.
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Old 04-24-2011, 09:50 PM   #4
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I've written about this here before but, four years ago, my wife discovered that I'd cheated on her with men. At that point, our marriage had already soured, she was relentlessly suspicious and I was careless with my computer once too often. (I was also drinking heavily which contributed to all of the above.) I came home one day and she confronted me with some incriminating e-mails and photos. It was the worst day of my life...but it was beyond devestating for her. As unhappy as I was, I'd loved and lived with the woman for 20+ years and the pain was indescribable.

To her credit, she tried for a few months to come to grips with it. I attempted -- poorly -- to talk with her how hard it was to feel sexually unwanted (she had simply lost interest and sex had become an obligatory, once-every-couple-of-months thing for her). I pleaded with her to go to couples counseling with me, but she was petrified at the absurd idea that the counselor would blab and others would find out that I was bi or gay or whatever. It was actually easier for her to end the marriage and tell everyone I was a drunk than to try to deal with the underlying problems and we separated soon thereafter.

So, that's a shitload of words to set the scene for my reply to your question:

I sincerely hope you're not in a committed relationship and, if you are, you're honest with your partner about your urges. Cheating is wrong and it sucks. I was an asshole to do it...but you can rationalize just about anything when you're stuck in a loveless, death spiral relationship and you're a drunk. Sexual dishonesty leads to unbearable guilt, unspeakable pain and unthinkable consequences. Fearing discovery is one thing...actually being discovered is a whole other can of moral, emotional, legal and financial worms.

Instead of opening that can of self-inflicted whoopass, suck it up and be honest. Looking back, I would have much rather have faced the unpleasant problem of explaining that I was THINKING about sex outside my marriage than the extremely awful task of explaining why I had done it.

You only live once...why not live your life honestly?

A couple of other random points about this general topic of "being discovered":

Last winter I wrote a semi tongue-in-cheek Lit tale about my days on the downlow that some of you might find interesting, amusing, scary or at least edifying: http://www.literotica.com/s/bicurious-and-married.

A few weeks ago, I attempted to create a discussion on this forum about why some guys who -- like me back then -- are trapped in a bad, unsatisfying relationship and decide to explore or act on their bicuriousity ("Vanilla Wife Syndrome") but the thread rapidly turned into a bitter and contentious trainwreck. Feel free to read it if you must, but for godsakes do not bring it back to life unless you have a death wish or enjoy being attacked by irritable lesbians.

By the way, if anyone cares, the epilogue to my sordid little tale is that after my wife booted me out, I quit drinking, fixed my life and found an amazing woman who really is my emotional and sexual soulmate. I've told her about my past and, although she was a little creeped out by the guy-on-guy images it created in her head, she has fully accepted that my bi "phase" was more a product of the circumstances than my real sexual preference.

Honestly, my sexual reality now wildly exceeds any fantasies I had before. The circumstances were awful, but the outcome of the whole thing is that I'm deliriously happy and -- unless she really wanted me to do it -- I have no interest in sex with anyone else male, female, animal, mineral, vegetable or alien.

My two cents kids...talk amongst yourselves now!

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Old 04-24-2011, 10:35 PM   #5
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Long story short -- no.

Nothing's come out about my sexual past, my escapades on Lit, or my ongoing (though un-acted-upon) proclivities. Otherwise my sig might not say 'married' anymore
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Old 04-24-2011, 11:02 PM   #6
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I generally live in the closet. I work as an investigator for the state in a rather conservative area and I fear that coming out would be the end of my career. For those of you who say all you have to do is love yourself - I'm happy for you. For some of us, it's more complicated than that.

On the other hand, when I visit the rez, I am accepted as a two-spirited person who lives as she is led to live. I'm not exactly open, but it isn't a threat (it's also some two hundred miles away from where I work).

To make a long story short, and bring it back to the topic of the thread, my boss's wife recently asked why she doesn't see my ex-partner around any more. I gave a very non-lesbian answer about not needing a roommate any more. She actually hugged me and whispered, "I'm sorry she wasn't the one. You two were a beautiful couple."

So maybe I'm not as deep in the closet as I thought. But I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop for a week now.
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Old 04-25-2011, 12:30 AM   #7
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Honestly, not much negative has happened when people found out I liked guys. Of course, not many people were all that surprised, either. All that's ever happened in my case has been that friends try to set me up with guys, as well as women. The only thing that would really surprise people is the number of women that want to watch me have sex with another guy. It's about as common as guys that want to see two women. Of course, considering I'm kind of easy and an exhibitionist, it probably makes them a lot more comfortable admitting their desire. It probably doesn't hurt that I'm pretty laid back and an honorary girlfriend, either.
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Old 04-25-2011, 03:14 AM   #8
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Old 04-25-2011, 04:35 AM   #9
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I was found out by a Girlfreind, We talked a lot and she was accepting of me, she gave me the oppourtunity to crossdress any time I wanted.

Thing is. Because its lost its secret and forbidden aspect, I dress less now than I did.
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Old 04-25-2011, 08:24 PM   #10
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I've only ever told one person about my bisexuality, but she's been one of my closest friends for the longest time. She actually encourages it, truth be told. She gets off on when I go have an encounter, then give her a detailed account of what I did. And sometimes I will get crazy and take photos and send them to her.

Now my wife, she has no idea that I like sucking off guys. We've been together 6 years, and she works at night, so I have all kinds of time to feed my obsessions.
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Old 04-26-2011, 12:22 AM   #11
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My wife and I started swinging, she loved playing with men and woman. So, I told her that I'd like to try being with a guy. That was the wrong thing to do. I lost my marrage over that. Guess she thought it was ok for her to lick a pu**y but not OK for me to suck a c*ck. She also thought it was wrong for me to wear panties. She is a closed minded woman. I hope to find a open minded woman that will encourage me to suck a c*ck and wear panties. I will encourage her to lick, f*ck what ever she wants.
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Old 04-26-2011, 08:45 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlegrizz02 View Post
My wife and I started swinging, she loved playing with men and woman. So, I told her that I'd like to try being with a guy. That was the wrong thing to do. I lost my marrage over that. Guess she thought it was ok for her to lick a pu**y but not OK for me to suck a c*ck. She also thought it was wrong for me to wear panties. She is a closed minded woman. I hope to find a open minded woman that will encourage me to suck a c*ck and wear panties. I will encourage her to lick, f*ck what ever she wants.
The double standard regarding perceptions of female and male bisexuality is simply astounding to me.

A "straight" woman who occasionally acts on her impulse to be with another woman is viewed as chic, trendy and interesting. A man who does it is instantly labeled for life as a closeted gay. A woman can "dabble" with bisexuality and still be accepted by everyone...maybe even admired for it. A man who explores his urges was "gay all along." The hypocrisy boggles my mind.

I mentioned in my post that my wonderful girlfriend has now accepted that I had sex with men...but that comfort level didn't happen overnight. She really struggled with it for a while, despite the fact that she freely admitted she's had frequent girl-on-girl fantasies and she seriously considered sex with a bi friend during a long dry spell after her ex left. She's the most open-minded person I've ever met and she still had a hard time processing the fact that it's the SAME GODDAMN THING.

Anyway, Grizz, stick with it. You'll find the right partner eventually who can see past the double standard. Good luck!
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Old 04-26-2011, 01:04 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirate_Guy View Post
The double standard regarding perceptions of female and male bisexuality is simply astounding to me.

A "straight" woman who occasionally acts on her impulse to be with another woman is viewed as chic, trendy and interesting. A man who does it is instantly labeled for life as a closeted gay. A woman can "dabble" with bisexuality and still be accepted by everyone...maybe even admired for it. A man who explores his urges was "gay all along." The hypocrisy boggles my mind.

I mentioned in my post that my wonderful girlfriend has now accepted that I had sex with men...but that comfort level didn't happen overnight. She really struggled with it for a while, despite the fact that she freely admitted she's had frequent girl-on-girl fantasies and she seriously considered sex with a bi friend during a long dry spell after her ex left. She's the most open-minded person I've ever met and she still had a hard time processing the fact that it's the SAME GODDAMN THING.

Anyway, Grizz, stick with it. You'll find the right partner eventually who can see past the double standard. Good luck!
Good post, PG. :thumbs up:
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Old 04-26-2011, 04:06 PM   #14
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I have been married twice. With the first marriage, I told her before we got married that I was attracted to sex with men, but I had never done it. I fantasized and masturbated, but that was it. She said okay and not another word was said. I was faithful the whole 15 months that we were married. And she screwed around. Go figure.

The second woman was riding me in a reverse cowboy and she penetrated me with her finger. I wasn't shocked. I was thinking I had hit the jackpot. A woman who was into anal play. I could get my freak on with her. Uh, not so much. I told her everything, that I fantasized about sex with men but had never done anything. We got a couple of dildos and did dildo play a couple of times but nothing more ever happened. She too screwed around and I was oblivious to it. I passed up so much pussy and cock while married. Oh well, it seems that my integrity and virginity are still intact. I would rather have the former and not the latter.

I think that in both cases, the idea that I would hook up with guys and dump her.

I had a good friend who was bisexual and when he split up from one live in girlfriend, she went around telling every one that they knew that he was gay. That sucked.
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Old 04-26-2011, 05:07 PM   #15
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If I wasn't already married, I wouldn't care....I made my bed! Fantasy keeps me "fresh"
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Old 04-26-2011, 07:06 PM   #16
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What secret?

I certainly don't mention anything about my sexuality, but I don't make any secret about it to people I have a personal relationship with.
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:51 AM   #17
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Interesting. So many different people with different point of views. Definitely feels good to know im not alone
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Old 04-28-2011, 06:07 AM   #18
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Old 04-28-2011, 06:19 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
It's a good topic, my friend. Coming out can be pretty terrifying. sometimes the consequences are bad, let's face it. But sometimes the terror turns out to be unfounded. I hope folks will share both kinds of stories here.
I agree Stella, last night I was out in the bars dressed in a skimpy black babydoll style dress with another T-girl friend. Only a month ago I would have been terrified at the idea, yet I had sooo much fun and the only looks I got appeared to be from people who liked what they saw.

Mind you, it is a good idea to know something about the area before going out dressed there at least in the early days. The area of Manchester where I was is often called the Gay Villiage and within that setting there are also a lot of cross dressers, so T-girls like me are regarded as normal.
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Old 04-30-2011, 10:09 AM   #20
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Only 2 people know right now and I willingly told both of them. One is my wife and the other is my best (female) friend. I believe one day I would like to tell my sister, but right now she would be the only other person I trust.

However, I think if anyone figured it out, I would no longer deny it as I am finally comfortable with who I am.
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:34 AM   #21
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My fiancee knows I've had a past with boys. Haven't done anything since Circa 2006 with any. Long time for a bisexual to actually go without lol

Still crave it every now and again.

Close friends know. Mum n Dad don't. Work people don't.
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:50 AM   #22
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My fiancee knows I've had a past with boys. Haven't done anything since Circa 2006 with any. Long time for a bisexual to actually go without lol

Still crave it every now and again.

Close friends know. Mum n Dad don't. Work people don't.
How does your fiancee feel about you being bi, she is the person who counts.

Would she contamplate you being with another guy every so often?

Might she want a threesome, that way you wouldn't be doing anything behind her back?

As far as your parents are concerned whether you are bi or not does not have to concern them.
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Old 05-02-2011, 11:04 AM   #23
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How does your fiancee feel about you being bi, she is the person who counts.

Would she contamplate you being with another guy every so often?

Might she want a threesome, that way you wouldn't be doing anything behind her back?

As far as your parents are concerned whether you are bi or not does not have to concern them.
My fiancee accepts what I did before she came along but now that I'm with her, I'm a heterosexual in thought and body. Whether I had a romp with a guy or girl it would be cheating and she doesn't 'share'.

In every single aspect of our compatibility we are incredibly synched except for the sex part. I'm incredibly sexual, she's a conservative ... prude really.

I'm aware what i'm giving up (assuming I remain faithful which I have been up until now) and I've got 'coping' mechanisms at the moment which release my tension somewhat. Its not just my bi side, I can't remember the last time we had sex, (over 3 weeks ago) and the last two times she just gave me head.

She doesn't get much vaginal stimulation out of intercourse, she's a clit girl, so any sex we have is pretty much all for my benefit which I think is a bit of a turn off for me. Oral wise we're ok.

Writing erotica is one of my escapes. She doesn't know about it. Longtime lurker of the forums, I've recently decided to be an active participant.

Is this a slippery slide to cheating? I have no idea.
Last year I turned down a genuine invite to a 2gal 2guy all bi meet.
Then again sometimes I think that she'd wig out if she knew the stories I wrote or the conversations I have with a dirty ex of mine anyway so why not have some fun on the side?

Avoiding slippery slopes.
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Old 05-02-2011, 12:22 PM   #24
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My fiancee accepts what I did before she came along but now that I'm with her, I'm a heterosexual in thought and body. Whether I had a romp with a guy or girl it would be cheating and she doesn't 'share'.

In every single aspect of our compatibility we are incredibly synched except for the sex part. I'm incredibly sexual, she's a conservative ... prude really.

I'm aware what i'm giving up (assuming I remain faithful which I have been up until now) and I've got 'coping' mechanisms at the moment which release my tension somewhat. Its not just my bi side, I can't remember the last time we had sex, (over 3 weeks ago) and the last two times she just gave me head.

She doesn't get much vaginal stimulation out of intercourse, she's a clit girl, so any sex we have is pretty much all for my benefit which I think is a bit of a turn off for me. Oral wise we're ok.

Writing erotica is one of my escapes. She doesn't know about it. Longtime lurker of the forums, I've recently decided to be an active participant.

Is this a slippery slide to cheating? I have no idea.
Last year I turned down a genuine invite to a 2gal 2guy all bi meet.
Then again sometimes I think that she'd wig out if she knew the stories I wrote or the conversations I have with a dirty ex of mine anyway so why not have some fun on the side?

Avoiding slippery slopes.
Cheating has two aspects dishonesty and betrayal.

If you are doing stuff behind her back, having any sexual conotation that you think she might not like, consider that cheating.

If you are open and honest about being involved on-line and in other scenarios with other people having some form of sexual context and she disapproves and you know she does, that is also cheating.

The problem here is that not only is she stifling any outlet for your bi side but you are also a person with a high sex drive and you are not even getting much straight sex.

I would say the prognosis does not look good for you, because of your nature one way or another you will find other outlets and you can do this behind her back or you can be honest with her about it but either way it will be cheating.

I don't want to advise you on what I think you should do, yet I think you already might have a good idea of my opinion, I will simply tell you a little of my own story.

--------------------------------------------------------

When I first met my wife, then girlfriend, she effectively tried and suceeded in seducing me her pattern was simple she would lead me on teasing me and then every so often get mad at me pushing my bounaries to see how much I could take. Still I was bessoted with her and in the end I married anyway.

When we were married I always was the one who had to initiate sex and she used sex and withholding it as a reward and punishment system. Eventually I got sick of it and so stopped playing the game, effectively stopped having sex, because it was doing my head in. At the same time I was a closet cross dresser and was doing this behind her back. The longest period I went without sex of any type with her was more than six months.

Later, probably because I was not prepared to play her little sex game of letting her use it to control me, she started getting bitter and verbally abusing me.

My self esteem was very low and I had no close friends to turn to and eventually found women on-line who I could turn to for the emotional support that I so badly needed. Were these online relationships emotional affairs? YES. But what else could I do, I was at rock bottom.

Finally it all blew up and I told her I was a cross dresser, now I consider myself T-girl, and I told her about my on-line relationships and that I was not prepared to give any of it up. So I separated from her.

After I separated from her I had a physical affair with one of the women I met on-line, incidentally my cross dressing really turned her on. I did not consider it cheating because I was separated but she did because she still wanted us to get back together.

If we did get back together she would bare a gruge and hold all this behavior against me, so you can imagine how little enthusiasm I have for getting back together with her.

My point is very simple, no relationship is worth me making myself chronically depressed over.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Just one more point, I imagine that 2 guy 2 gal meet must be looking quite attractive to you right now.

But it is your life, your call to make, you have to weigh up the balance.

Good luck.
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See my latest series:
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-law-of-attraction
http://www.literotica.com/s/tits-have-benefits
http://www.literotica.com/s/fiona-and-ariel-ch-01-03
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Old 05-02-2011, 12:27 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by renrob View Post
My fiancee accepts what I did before she came along but now that I'm with her, I'm a heterosexual in thought and body. Whether I had a romp with a guy or girl it would be cheating and she doesn't 'share'.

In every single aspect of our compatibility we are incredibly synched except for the sex part. I'm incredibly sexual, she's a conservative ... prude really.

I'm aware what i'm giving up (assuming I remain faithful which I have been up until now) and I've got 'coping' mechanisms at the moment which release my tension somewhat. Its not just my bi side, I can't remember the last time we had sex, (over 3 weeks ago) and the last two times she just gave me head.

She doesn't get much vaginal stimulation out of intercourse, she's a clit girl, so any sex we have is pretty much all for my benefit which I think is a bit of a turn off for me. Oral wise we're ok.

Writing erotica is one of my escapes. She doesn't know about it. Longtime lurker of the forums, I've recently decided to be an active participant.

Is this a slippery slide to cheating? I have no idea.
Last year I turned down a genuine invite to a 2gal 2guy all bi meet.
Then again sometimes I think that she'd wig out if she knew the stories I wrote or the conversations I have with a dirty ex of mine anyway so why not have some fun on the side?

Avoiding slippery slopes.
PS: you are not avoiding slippery slopes you are slipping down the hole.
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See my latest series:
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-law-of-attraction
http://www.literotica.com/s/tits-have-benefits
http://www.literotica.com/s/fiona-and-ariel-ch-01-03
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