Convince a guy to try giving oral sex

I am a female who has never received oral sex. It is my number one fantasy, but I have yet to find a willing partner.

I mentioned this to the guy that I am currently with and he changed the subject. I let it go at that point, but brought it up again about a month ago because I wanted an answer.

He said that he used to have no problem going down on a girl, but the last girl he was with had a really bad hygiene problem which turned him off from the whole experience. He said that he doesn't know if he can do it again because of that bad experience.

While this is not a make or break issue for me, it is still important to me. Is there anything that I can do to make him change his mind? I was thinking of just asking him to start out by kissing my pussy over my underwear and *maybe* licking my pussy over my underwear.

I would make sure that this would take place after a shower or after I had cleaned myself up so there was little chance of any bad smell.

Is what I'm asking realistic, or am I just being ridiculous? Any other ways that you can recommend warming a guy up to giving oral sex?

TIA

You're certainly not being ridiculous. It's a perfectly reasonable request and I think you're being very patient and understanding with him.

If he's telling the truth about bad hygiene being the problem he should have no problem trying again. After all it's not like something like that could scar a person for life, and he should want to please you.

owl2010 said:

He said that he used to have no problem going down on a girl, but the last girl he was with had a really bad hygiene problem which turned him off from the whole experience. He said that he doesn't know if he can do it again because of that bad experience.

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Sounds like you're with an immature jackass. YOU are not his ex-girlfriend! If he cannot distinguish between the two, then you're better off drop kicking him to the curb and moving on to greener pastures.

You say that this issue isn't a deal breaker, and I respect that. I'd like to add, however, that your partner should be willing to explore your desires or at least work with you by finding compromises. Not everyone likes cunnilingus, fellatio, genital shaving, anal, or a myriad of other things, and there's nothing wrong with that, BUT, there are compromises that can be made that can make everyone happy.

I'm going to apologize for my tone, somewhat, because what bothers me about this situation is that he's dismissing you due to ONE bad instance, and to be honest, I have serious doubts about it's validity - it's just a sense that I'm getting. Whether I'm right or wrong, he's still closed minded about your needs and unwilling to come to a mutually agreeable solution.

Wow... the whole idea of NOT going down on a girl is so foreign to me. I've done it pretty much from the first time I had sex with a girl. lol It's one of my favorite things to do, actually. I love the scent and taste of a woman, and I love giving her the pleasure that I can give her from oral sex.

How odd.

I am also going to apologize for my tone. In advance. Because you sound like a really nice and considerate person, and I think it's great that you're trying to work with someone and are not letting this be a deal breaker in your relationship.

From my experience, when a guy cites a bad hygiene or grooming story when he doesn't want to give oral, he wasn't all that into the idea in the first place. Bonus points if he wants you to go down on him all the time without having to reciprocate.

Of course everyone compromises in their sex lives, but this is a pretty common act. I agree with the previous posters that it is ridiculous for him to not even try to satisfy you, or have any ideas for what he would be willing to do instead, because of one bad experience with someone who isn't you. It's not like your fantasy is to fuck him up the ass with a dildo. Then I would probably be a little more sympathetic.

I think your ideas for introducing oral play into your sex life are great. They're sexy, and not too much at once. I would do all of them as a prelude to oral. So, if he is really worth it in other areas of your relationship, then, by all means do all of those things! Just know that there are guys (and girls! ) who enjoy oral, and that if this isn't your only compromise, you just may have better luck next time.

And let us know if you try any of these things, because I'm curious about his response!

owl2010 said:

I am a female who has never received oral sex. It is my number one fantasy, but I have yet to find a willing partner.

I mentioned this to the guy that I am currently with and he changed the subject. I let it go at that point, but brought it up again about a month ago because I wanted an answer.

He said that he used to have no problem going down on a girl, but the last girl he was with had a really bad hygiene problem which turned him off from the whole experience. He said that he doesn't know if he can do it again because of that bad experience.

While this is not a make or break issue for me, it is still important to me. Is there anything that I can do to make him change his mind? I was thinking of just asking him to start out by kissing my pussy over my underwear and *maybe* licking my pussy over my underwear.

I would make sure that this would take place after a shower or after I had cleaned myself up so there was little chance of any bad smell.

Is what I'm asking realistic, or am I just being ridiculous? Any other ways that you can recommend warming a guy up to giving oral sex?

TIA

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hmm I can honestly say this is a problem I have never had. My boyfriends have loved eating pussy. However, I can understand why the guy might be but off for a while after the nasty pussy!! If he has been with you a while it looks like he would know by now that you are clean. Maybe he would be willing to take a little lick off your finger or something to sample it lol

Tie his ass up and squat on his face! He'll learn to like it

owl, you've never had one partner who's been into the idea? maybe you need to find a better pool of guys? :>

i agree with NM & truefox that it does sound like he's finding excuses. i sincerely hope you aren't giving him head if he isn't willing to return the favor, cuz that's pretty fucking selfish of him.

having said that, let's take that statement at face value.

perhaps you could try something to encourage him. if you don't already, try trimming down there. the mrs and i find a mustache/beard trimmer very effective for this kind of thing. it helps sensitize the skin and as a fan of giving cunnilingus, it's a lot more fun when you can see what you're doing there. and if he can see, it'll help reassure him that there's nothing wrong with your hygiene.

i'm assuming that you've told him this is your #1 fantasy. if that isn't true, it's way past time you make it true. if you don't explicitly communicate the importance this has for you, he might simply not get it. as a guy: we don't do hints or subtle. if it's important, we expect that you're going to tell us. and this is clearly important to you. not a dealbreaker as you said, but then again, this isn't a binary choice.

ed

I'd go with...

"I've had a bad experience in the past with a guy who was squeamish about being fully involved with my body....I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over it and be with a guy who does not ENTHUSIASTICALLY sample all of my body's delights!"

I would definately be up front and honest with him and explain to him that you honestly want to make it a comfortable experience for both of you involved. Suggest to start in the shower and then move it elsewhere.

But I agree with other posters the "Bad Hygiene" citation sounds a bit like an excuse to get outta something honestly. I mean obviously you have been with him in other aspects and he is aware that hygiene isn't an issue at that time SO why would it be in others.

And to end on this Oral is one of the finer things in life, and not to sound snarky BUT if you can't get it from him there are PLENTY of willing and able men out there that I am POSITIVE will line up for the chance

TrueFox above said:

From my experience, when a guy cites a bad hygiene or grooming story when he doesn't want to give oral, he wasn't all that into the idea in the first place. Bonus points if he wants you to go down on him all the time without having to reciprocate.

Well -- this works both ways --

The poster's bf is like my wife -- for years I tried to get her to into oral sex -- I'd go down on her as often as I could -- and I always thought I was very good at it-- but as for her to get her lips anywhere near my cock -- forget it.

"Why don't you want to??"

"I just don't."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Why not then..."

and so on -- so much for 'talking thru a problem.'

I'll predict that her bf will never -- never -- give a woman oral.

Sad -- but true.

OWL coming from guy who really loves to eat pussy, I think that this sounds like a copout from your man.

I have had bad experiences going down on a woman, but that doesn't prevent me from going down on another one. I've had bad pizza before too, but it doesn't mean I quit eating it you know?

Some guys really just aren't into it, for whatever reasons they are grossed out or whatever by the juices running over them. More than likely your guy has never really tried it.

HOWever if you really are going to push the issue more, you can always buy some creams that make it taste like vanilla and stuff, it'll give him a reason to go down there beyond you just wanting it.

Just tie him to the bed and stick it in his face. Grab his balls and twist till he complies.

Is it possible that he has little to no experience and doesn't have a clue what he is supposed to be doing down there? He may be terrified of doing a lousy job.

Why would no guy not want to eat pussy? I just don't get it. If you give him oral I'd consider stopping and see how he likes it

Quoll said:

Is it possible that he has little to no experience and doesn't have a clue what he is supposed to be doing down there? He may be terrified of doing a lousy job.

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I agree with this. He is either embarrassed, afraid of not being able to please you and fulfill your number 1 fantasy, or... he is a selfish, immature fucktard undeserving of tasting you in the first place.

Make it clear it is your #1 fantasy, and that you want him to fulfill it. Shower with him first, blah blah. If he is still reluctant, climb on his face and 69 him. If he still won't, gtfo..

Not doing it a second time if he hates it the first time is very different than being too selfish to try. Just my .02.

Thanks everybody for your replies.

I have told him that this is my #1 fantasy. Early on in the relationship I asked him what his top 3 fantasies were in hopes that he would ask mine. He mentioned his, and I volunteered mine. I told him that I’ve always wondered what it would be like to receive oral sex and that hopefully it would give me an orgasm because I have never had an orgasm while with a guy (not sure why).

One of the problems is that we tend to have sex in his car or mine because of our living situations and his work schedule. It’s hard to find a time when both of us are free and one of us has an empty house. The one time I did spend the night at his place was the best sex we’ve had, but still no oral. I did try pushing him down there but he either didn’t get the hint or ignored it (and based on what has been said I’m thinking he ignored it) and instead just pulled off my underwear and started fingering me.

I love to give him oral, and he loves to receive it. A few of my friends have mentioned stopping the blowjobs until I get what I want, but I don’t know what that would accomplish.

We were supposed to see each other tonight but he got stuck working overtime and won’t finish work till 3am. I was going to try and talk to him and bring up some of the points that were made here to see what he said.

NippleMuncher, I’ve often thought that the one bad instance was a lame excuse as well. I mean, I’ve had lots of bad experiences giving blowjobs but that hasn’t stopped me from giving them.

TrueFox, I will definitely report back and let you all know what happens. I was hoping that the actions I suggested were on the right path. I didn’t know if it was too tame or would be too much.

Silverwhisper, I have told him point blank how I feel about it and how important it is to me. I told him that all I want to do is try it. I might end up not liking it (though I highly doubt that).

I keep my pubic hair trimmed just because I like it better that way, and I’ve never had any guys complain about my pussy smelling like anything bad.

I do have to say, after reading all these responses it’s nice to see that there ARE guys (and girls!) who are into eating pussy. I guess I’ve just ran into the rare few that don’t see it as an option.

Thanks for all your help, I will make sure to keep you updated.

I'd like reiterate the shower suggestion... (everything is fresh and clean and depending on now you configure things, he gets to mix your juices with water...so maybe he'll complain less)

and also comment that someone who is selfish in bed...is probably also selfish in life. So while I can totally understand how its not a deal breaker, in the same way that perhaps someone might say a partner being bad in bed isnt a dealbreaker b/c they can always teach them some new tricks, etc. But this isnt a case of being bad in bed, this is a case where he's a schmuck.

So if he doesnt respond positively to any of these suggestions from the lovely members of lit, reconsider the whole thing. I'm sure there are things you arent telling us and we dont have the whole context of the relationship, but this is a sign that doesnt bode well for your future happiness.

You're looking in the wrong place

owl2010 said:

I am a female who has never received oral sex. It is my number one fantasy, but I have yet to find a willing partner.

I mentioned this to the guy that I am currently with and he changed the subject. I let it go at that point, but brought it up again about a month ago because I wanted an answer.

He said that he used to have no problem going down on a girl, but the last girl he was with had a really bad hygiene problem which turned him off from the whole experience. He said that he doesn't know if he can do it again because of that bad experience.

While this is not a make or break issue for me, it is still important to me. Is there anything that I can do to make him change his mind? I was thinking of just asking him to start out by kissing my pussy over my underwear and *maybe* licking my pussy over my underwear.

I would make sure that this would take place after a shower or after I had cleaned myself up so there was little chance of any bad smell.

Is what I'm asking realistic, or am I just being ridiculous? Any other ways that you can recommend warming a guy up to giving oral sex?

TIA

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You will find a number of use willing and most able. Consider: No-strings Cunninglingus

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lid9hwydOc1qatn9jo1_500.jpg

newlegz said:

I'm sure there are things you arent telling us and we dont have the whole context of the relationship, but this is a sign that doesnt bode well for your future happiness.

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Oh there definitely are things that I didn't bring up. Although I made this post more about the guy I am with now, I am also hoping to apply some of these suggestions to future prospects as well.

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it

Have you tried tasting yourself? After he fingers you, pull his fingers up and put them in your mouth. Then say to him, "why don't you try it?"

owl2010 said:

I am a female who has never received oral sex. It is my number one fantasy, but I have yet to find a willing partner.

I mentioned this to the guy that I am currently with....

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You are doing this wrong. You suck his cock, but not the right way. Here's how.

Suck that cock until he is a quivering mass of flesh, then grab his head, take control, and put your pussy right on those lips. Depending on the eagerness that he shows, go back and suck him some more but never to completion. Do this three or four times - finger yourself off too. Be sure he can see that, maybe do it while you're moving his head to your pussy.

Your goal is is for you to get off before he does.

Once he gets off, his desire may well diminish and so the situation has changed.

If he doesn't perform well, get him off with your hands, but if he does what you want, deliver....

While you are laying on the bed giving him a little favor work your way around until you are near a 69 postion and just get him to start by offering him a finger or playing a little with yourself. Just don't get into messing with him much except to keep him hard until he starts to return the favor. The more he tries to return the favor the more attention he gets. He stops exploring and you do to. He will get the point.

Tmmldr said:

You are doing this wrong. You suck his cock, but not the right way. Here's how.

Suck that cock until he is a quivering mass of flesh, then grab his head, take control, and put your pussy right on those lips. Depending on the eagerness that he shows, go back and suck him some more but never to completion. Do this three or four times - finger yourself off too. Be sure he can see that, maybe do it while you're moving his head to your pussy.

Your goal is is for you to get off before he does.

Once he gets off, his desire may well diminish and so the situation has changed.

If he doesn't perform well, get him off with your hands, but if he does what you want, deliver....

Click to expand...

Wow, that sounds like a great suggestion!

Fun even if the guy wants to engage in oral

he isn't italian, is he? I've heard from my cousin (italian) that there is some manliness issues with cunninglingus; as in to do it is not being the dominant male that they should be. I have no idea if this is true, just something one of them mentioned to me.