Old 03-15-2013, 10:48 AM   #1451
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Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae View Post
Our friend wishes to be a certified motherfucker!
I know in my state, mother fucker certification is a pain in the arse. You've got your mother fucking board exams. Your mother fucking licensing fees. Your mother fucking continuing education. Then you have to renew that mother fucking license every two years and it's a pain in the arse, both mine and my mother's.

Between the mother fucking conferences/best practices and licensure issues, it's hardly worth it. Being a certified sister fucker is much easier. Kind of like the difference between being a doctor and a PA.

Pmann, CMF
Certified Mother Fucker
Mother Fucking Consultants
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:58 AM   #1452
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And if you hire a CMF like me, you will never run into this pickle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0DeIqJm4vM&sns=em
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:23 PM   #1453
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Thank you pmann. That was hilarious. It's the best laugh I've had in awhile.
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Old 03-18-2013, 04:08 PM   #1454
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This has been moved...why?
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Old 03-18-2013, 04:14 PM   #1455
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann View Post
I know in my state, mother fucker certification is a pain in the arse. You've got your mother fucking board exams. Your mother fucking licensing fees. Your mother fucking continuing education. Then you have to renew that mother fucking license every two years and it's a pain in the arse, both mine and my mother's.

Between the mother fucking conferences/best practices and licensure issues, it's hardly worth it. Being a certified sister fucker is much easier. Kind of like the difference between being a doctor and a PA.

Pmann, CMF
Certified Mother Fucker
Mother Fucking Consultants
Not to mention you must get a separate mother fucking license for each mother fucking state.
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Old 03-18-2013, 04:53 PM   #1456
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Originally Posted by MsQuote View Post
Some people call them PM asshats, other people call them douchebags.

10 signs you may be a douchebag
Hahaha!!!! Love it!
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:10 AM   #1457
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I've been thinking for a while whether I should share that PM or not, because I created a thread in which I asked for role play partners, so I should not complain. But that PM is just, well, disturbing. At least for me. Please note that my profile pic is a pic of my ear.



Quote:
Originally Posted by guywhoovershotthemark
i'd love to roleplay with you.....

love your profile pic.....i'd love to drain my very full balls into your ear.....and fill it up with my warm thick sperm.....and give you an ear infucktion.

lust,
guywhoovershotthemark

I could not believe it. I never even knew that kind of fetish existed.
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Old 03-24-2013, 07:55 PM   #1458
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Proof that asshats are everywhere and not just on Lit....

....in front of me at the drivethrough liquor store:

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Old 03-24-2013, 07:58 PM   #1459
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Originally Posted by Zulae View Post
I've been thinking for a while whether I should share that PM or not, because I created a thread in which I asked for role play partners, so I should not complain. But that PM is just, well, disturbing. At least for me. Please note that my profile pic is a pic of my ear.






I could not believe it. I never even knew that kind of fetish existed.
You have a very sexy ear! The things I'd like to do to your ear...
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Old 03-24-2013, 10:05 PM   #1460
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann View Post
I know in my state, mother fucker certification is a pain in the arse. You've got your mother fucking board exams. Your mother fucking licensing fees. Your mother fucking continuing education. Then you have to renew that mother fucking license every two years and it's a pain in the arse, both mine and my mother's.

Between the mother fucking conferences/best practices and licensure issues, it's hardly worth it. Being a certified sister fucker is much easier. Kind of like the difference between being a doctor and a PA.

Pmann, CMF
Certified Mother Fucker
Mother Fucking Consultants
damnit.. this is the renewal year.. (I bet we could get somebody to post something worth CEUs on the GB)
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Old 03-25-2013, 01:57 AM   #1461
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Originally Posted by JoyDyan View Post
Proof that asshats are everywhere and not just on Lit....

....in front of me at the drivethrough liquor store:

Wait a minute... the drive-through liquor store? Can you buy a gun there while you're at it?
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Old 03-25-2013, 02:16 AM   #1462
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Wait a minute... the drive-through liquor store? Can you buy a gun there while you're at it?
Lol...I live in BFE, but I don't think you can get a gun there...

....and believe me, there is always a line for the drivethrough!
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Old 03-25-2013, 02:24 AM   #1463
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Lol...I live in BFE, but I don't think you can get a gun there...

....and believe me, there is always a line for the drivethrough!
Well, you picked a fine specimen of asshattery to showcase.

(And don't tell me: BFE = Bum Fuck Egypt?)
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Old 03-25-2013, 03:04 AM   #1464
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Originally Posted by Sundayschild View Post
You have a very sexy ear! The things I'd like to do to your ear...
Thank you. After that PM I am grateful for every comment about my ear that does not imply cumming into it.
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Old 03-25-2013, 07:39 AM   #1465
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Well, you picked a fine specimen of asshattery to showcase.

(And don't tell me: BFE = Bum Fuck Egypt?)
You got it! Lol! Redneck central.
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Old 03-25-2013, 06:51 PM   #1466
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Originally Posted by JoyDyan View Post
Proof that asshats are everywhere and not just on Lit....

....in front of me at the drivethrough liquor store:

My favourite new phrase almost suits the above pictured douchebag.

"Brodozer"
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:11 PM   #1467
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My favourite new phrase almost suits the above pictured douchebag.

"Brodozer"
Ha! Perfect!!!
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:30 PM   #1468
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Asshat theater presents: Serial asshats.

From one guy all in the same day

Hey how are u? What are u up too? U look amazing. Lets chat

Four hours later:

Hello sub, how are u? What your name? Looking for a fun sexy girl like you for ongoing play. Lets chat

Ten hours later:

Hey hon good morning. What are u up to? Lets chat. U have yahoo messenger? Talk soon, and hopefully we can hook up and play.

So within less than 24 hours he's started using familiar terms and begging for RL sex...... jeez.
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:52 PM   #1469
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Damn. Since they moved this thread, I can never find it anymore.
*****************
<age> .. <ht/wt>, <hair/eye color> .. 40-33-32 .. in black silk boxers at the moment.

I just ran across your profile, and just the thought of making you my own personal sex toy has me rock hard ... fully erect ... lusting for you.

I'd luv to get you alone in an expensive hotel suite for a long weekend of wild sex ... 3 days and 3 nights of having my way with you ... bringing you to intense, mind-blowing orgasms ... taking you in every room, in every position ... 72 hours of giving you multiple orgasms, one after another, each one better than the last.

And if I can't get that, I'd luv getting you off on the phone or on-line.
************

Where to start? First of all.....just happened across my profile and got all of THAT from it?

40-33-32. I'm assuming those are his measurements. What the hell kind of man knows his measurements? *I* don't know my measurements!

Personal sex toy? HE wants to make ME *HIS* personal sex toy? ROFLMFAO

I so want to play with this one. Not in the way he means though. It's a crying shame my creativity went farther south for the winter. Help please?
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:54 PM   #1470
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And while we're on the subject.....exactly what are those measurements indicating anyway? Chest/waist/hips? Penis size? STICKMANN! Did you create an alt?

I know! It's his shoe size, hat size, and IQ!
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:06 PM   #1471
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you're too funny, girl.
Me thinks your admirer Knoweth not which end of the whip you wield..


The way i see it, Beachmomma..at least he was offering you multiple orgasms.

Mine proceeded to inform me how much he enjoyed the dribbling of pee mixed in with his semen held securely inside his lover when she wears a body shaper...




That^^^ from a post I made of a woman wearing a lavender body shaper on the BBW thread ....
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:11 PM   #1472
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Wow. I have had a few "jerking off to your profile " messages, but never been near as lucky as you ladies have...those are real gems!
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:16 PM   #1473
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Wow. I have had a few "jerking off to your profile " messages, but never been near as lucky as you ladies have...those are real gems!
See, now that ^^^ I wouldn't mind. Hell, I'd expect it.. But.. I swear, I get some weird Shit. I'm still nice unless they can't take a hint.
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:19 PM   #1474
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"Drop and give me 20"

Yup that's it.
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:22 PM   #1475
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Wait a minute... the drive-through liquor store? Can you buy a gun there while you're at it?
Those are Illinois plates. One of the most restrictive states in the union. They're lucky their nanny-state legislature trusts them to drive their own cars.
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