Old 02-19-2013, 09:50 PM   #1326
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Beachie!!! You weren't supposed to be taking photos!!
I couldn't help it. I got so caught up in the moment, I just had to share.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:08 PM   #1327
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Looks like I blew my load all over this thread...
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:17 PM   #1328
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I think Josh123 had the biggest, yet tiniest balls on the earth. That avatar is fucking humiliation. My cock feels bad for it. But, I can hear it laughing at him too. I hear my cock whispering to my balls and saying, "Get a load of that little wiener. It looks like my smallest toe, if it was red from an ant bite." Yes, my cock has a toe in that scenario.

But man, I can't imagine putting that pic up there. It's insane. I mean, that's some really brave shit, to be honest. It's creepy. And it's disturbing. And I probably give him too much attention. But the fucker doesn't let it get to him, somehow. I mean, my dick is only several (hundred) centimeters. Probably not the biggest in the world. I'm sure some whale has a bigger one. But even I'm tasteful enough to only show the top of my shit in my avatar. Now I'm a classy fucker, mind you. But this guy, with all the torment, all the ridicule, he just pulls down his panties and asks for more.

I would like to get in the mind of an asshat.

*takes glasses off and puts frame in mouth*

"Now tell me about your mother, Josh123."
I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!!

Awesome, pmann!
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:28 PM   #1329
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I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!!

Awesome, pmann!
Blow my load all over you mouth, hair, teeth...
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:03 AM   #1330
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I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!!

Awesome, pmann!
Pmann rocks (and probably has the nicest cock on lit)
I've been quietly peeping at his amateur pic thread and I am quietly impressed!
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:36 PM   #1331
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Looks like I blew my load all over this thread...
So tell me about your mother, Josh123. Did she have a tiny pink vagina?
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:39 PM   #1332
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Pmann rocks (and probably has the nicest cock on lit)
I've been quietly peeping at his amateur pic thread and I am quietly impressed!
PROBABLY???? Have you seen that pic thread???? Of course it's the best. It has been referred to as magnificent, by one. I won't mention the Australian girl's name, because I don't want to turn Rainshine red. But as you see, she's pretty happy in those pics on that thread. So magnificent, even when said in her high pitched Aussie voice, is an understatement.

And our sex tape will be reposted again soon. It as too hot for photobucket apparently. Fuckers.
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:22 PM   #1333
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So tell me about your mother, Josh123. Did she have a tiny pink vagina?
I’m not sure the size or hue of his mother’s snizz had much to do with the development of this bitter, pink poster with the dwarfish appendage.

And I’m not sure if the size of a woman’s hooded lady has anything to do with the proportion of a son’s endowment (or lack thereof).

Based on his needless, angry remarks aimed at some of the women here, I imagine no father figure, and plenty of neglect and abandonment during his formative years, interlaced ocassionally with waking to unwelcomed two-way “oral” negotiations between himself and some of the “uncles” mother brought home from the pub. Then, without even a piece of toast to soak up the jizz souring in his belly, his mother would send him off to school with kisses that tasted of menthol ciggies, ball sack, and the previous night’s cheap gin.


Or he could just be a dick.
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:41 PM   #1334
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Or he could just be a dick.
I have heels bigger than his dick.

Hell, I have tubes of lipstick that are bigger than his dick.
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:50 PM   #1335
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I have heels bigger than his dick.

Hell, I have tubes of lipstick that are bigger than his dick.


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Old 02-20-2013, 07:25 PM   #1336
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ROFL! Have you been following me again?

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Old 02-21-2013, 06:42 AM   #1337
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Originally Posted by pmann View Post
PROBABLY???? Have you seen that pic thread???? Of course it's the best. It has been referred to as magnificent, by one. I won't mention the Australian girl's name, because I don't want to turn Rainshine red. But as you see, she's pretty happy in those pics on that thread. So magnificent, even when said in her high pitched Aussie voice, is an understatement.

And our sex tape will be reposted again soon. It as too hot for photobucket apparently. Fuckers.
I say probably as I haven't yet seen all of the cocks on lit, but it is an exceptionally impressive member. Yes, I would go along with magnificent!
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:54 AM   #1338
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Blu, Joy, and I had a discussion about the rules of asshattery the other night. We felt it was important to list them all in one place. This is for the asshats that troll this thread:

Thank you Council of Asshattery for this much needed PSA!

Also I do like the Councils celtic knot watermark.
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:24 AM   #1339
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Looks like I blew my load all over this thread...
Josh has a George Bush cock. Just look at it. It is very conservative and it leans far to the right.
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Old 02-21-2013, 02:02 PM   #1340
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Cool African Princess Asshat

Not quite an African Princess, but a less than creative variation on the old scheme.
Started like this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi, I'm very excited, after going through your beautiful profile today,please i will like us to be friends,you can write me through my email(-----@scammer.fuckyou)for more details about me. thanks for you interest,

-Nice Literotica "Lady"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I only responded by accident because I thought she was another user I had just messaged about collaborating for the first time. "She" ignored the content of my message. Next message came back:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Dear,

How are you today?. I believe that you are doing well. I thank you for your mail to me,i really appreciate your time to write me to my e mail here.

My name is ------- from (African Country A) in West Africa ,i lost my home and family to war in country, during president Charles Taylor's regime years ago and i ran a way from my country to (African Country B) where i seek asylum and lives as a refugee here in ------- a region in (African Country B). I lost my Junior sister as well.....I would like to meet a man who desires to enrich my life with his Precious love. When god brings us together, I will give all my heart to make the best in our relationship....I have had a relationship before,but the guy that i was dating always beat me up each time he get drunk,he beat me mercilessly and even treat to kill me...

My Late Father --------- was a Minister of Mineral and Natural Resources in (African Country A) before the war broke up and he was Killed....Please do keep this only to your self. I pleased you not to disclose it till I come over because I am afraid of my uncle who has threatened to kill me...

I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle has threatened to assassinate me. The amount is $7.5 Million and the treasure on the Gold and Diamond worth $4.2 million. I have confirmed from the Security Firm. You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country

Below here is what I need from you so that I can send to you the Security Firm information so that you will go on contact with them and ask them about the existence of the fund and the treasure and how it can be transferred to you pending on my Arrival to your country:

(1) Full name
(2) country of residence & city
(3) Occupation & position in the company
(4) phone
(5) House & Office addresses.

I am Just an Orphan,i do not have parents,no brothers,no sisters,no home,so i will be happy to find a loving man to share my rest life with forever...

I have attached my photos to you,hope you like it. (I didn't ask for any)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, I received the next message, which inspired me to post here. After ignoring the scheme, it seems my African wife took another man!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Dear
I will never forget to say thanks to your concern towards me no matter the will of God did not permit us to join together but I know our relationship will still remains with honest and with hope to see you face to face one day.
Dearest, am happy to inform you about my succeeded position under the power of God with my beloved Husband Mr. (Weird Name) from (European Country) who stand as i needed and now we are succeeded in a happy position because the transfer has successful pass through in his account in (European Country).
So with this happiness i did not forget you as the first person whom i searched and developed my natural likeness but only God knows why he didn't want us together, but in all I didn't forget all your past time to me despite to the will of God we latter dropped.
I will be traveling with him Tomorrow to (European Country) for my new life etc.
So with this happiness i really explained my husband about people who cares for me since i was here suffering and i included your name on the lists, so we have decided to move a part of Amount to compensate you all.
And i kept the checks under the care of our Reverend because since I was here in (African Country B) he was the one whom i found Honest and i really took him as my father with his advise till my husband arrived.
Now i want you to contact Rev (Biblical Name) The Rev Tel number is (Very Tempting to Call as a Joke) who is like my father during the time i was in the refugee camp.
His contact e-mail address is (--------@thechurchgivesmillionsawayforfree.com) ask him to send you the total amouth of $250,000 USD which i maintained for compensate you for all your attempts and efforts you made in the past to help me in this matter.
I appreciated your commitment in the past a lot. So do not hesitate to get in touch with Rev.Emmanuel James and educate him where to send the amount to you.

Dearest after you cash this check please try to arrange your self because i will like to invite you face to face in (European Country) I have forward this instruction to Rev (Holy Guy) on your behalf, therefore be in contacts with him so he will deliver the bank draft to you which contain ($250,000 USD).
I will be busy soon because of the investments Projects i will be having at hand with my Husband in (European Country). So do not hesitate to contact with him and he will send The amount to you without any delay. (---------@yesthemoneyisfree!.com).
Good bye.
Best regards
(Apparent Paranoid Schizophrenic)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some things I enjoyed about this:

1) "Woah you waited too long! Now I have an awesome husband and you missed out on millions of dollars and a beautiful woman."
2) "But I still want to meet up with you or something?"
3) "I am about to move to Europe for my new life etc.--- yeah you know, all that safety and loving husband crap, I got that going for me now."
4) "I left a small sum of money with the church, you remember that $12 mil you missed out on? Well since you only sent me one email, you only get $250,000. Meet me in Europe so that you, me, and my new husband can have a threeway".

Anyways, sorry for the long post. I hope it was as entertaining to you as it was to me. I would report her but she did it through Literotica feedback so I have her email name and I can't find her Lit name.
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Old 02-22-2013, 04:12 AM   #1341
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Who could forget that guy.

Every time you posted about that guy I pictured him as Kenny Craig, from Little Britain.



<== CLICK TO SEE KENNY CRAIG AT WORK


Look into my eyes, look into my eyes. The eyes, the eyes. Not around
the eyes. Don't look around the eyes.
When I blew him off, finally sick of his shit he resent that whole initial "hypnosis" message he sent at the start. yawn.
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Old 02-22-2013, 07:37 AM   #1342
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When I blew him off, finally sick of his shit he resent that whole initial "hypnosis" message he sent at the start. yawn.
^^^^
Yawn?!? It must be working. You're getting sleepy. Very sleepy.
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:09 AM   #1343
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Ohupunder:

Hey There

hi i am a 33 married aussie male and there is just something so hot about a pretty girl using her sexuality to get what she wants, where she has all the power and control over you just because she is so pretty and you just cant help it.

sitting on my lap and telling me how naughty she has been
making me watch as she does other guys
tease and tease me
make me take her shopping or buy her stuff
control how, when and if i cum
just manipulating me to get what she wants by just teasing me
humiliate and degrade me

id love to roleplay with you this if you are interested

Moi:

You DO realize that this sad copy/paste message has been on the Asshat thread(s) more than once, right?

If you honestly think this works on girls, I'd love to know why. Try being original and interested in the people you're writing to as individual people instead of treating women so disrespectfully for once, and you might find yourself in a happy and fulfilling relationship, instead of searching for empty cyber sex with literally anyone who'll bite?



Ohupunder:

blah blah blah


Moi:

Yeah okay. If you want to be a jackass, it's your prerogative. Keep this in mind, though.

The universe in all it's glory is approximately 14 billion years old. Out of all those infinitesimally long years, the earth has been around for only approximately 5 billion of those. Out of all THAT time, human beings have only lived on the face of this planet for about 200 thousand years, and out of all THAT time, you've only been on this earth for what...thirty years maybe?

So, contrary to what your narcissistic beliefs may be, you aren't the most important person that exists, and other people deserve to be treated with the same respect that you no doubt feel you deserve. And in the teensy tiny microscopic scope of your life, some 80-odd years in the BILLIONS that have been and will be long after you die, don't you think it would be better to be a little kinder to the people around you rather than acting like you're the only thing that matters?

You are a speck, my friend. An electron in an atom of a flea's fart. And to act like an asshole on the relative instant amount of time you're alive is a really shitty thing to do.

Think about it, if you have the brain cells for it. But from what I've seen from you so far, you won't be capable of being anything but an utter fuckweasel.


Ohupunder:

wow hope that didnt take too long to write

Moi:

No no. Don't fail troll on me now, fuckweasel. The sentence you're looking for is "Cool story, Bro".

Although I honestly can't say I'm not surprised that you not only fail at getting laid, fail at finding cyber-pussy AND fail and trolling too.

Just...you know. Fail all around.

As Phillip said to Sean in "Sean of the Dead"...

SORT YOUR FUCKING LIFE OUT, MATE!
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:15 AM   #1344
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You did a marvelous job humiliating and degrading him. I hope he was impressed.
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Old 02-24-2013, 11:12 PM   #1345
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I just sent an Asshat PM to my husband.
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:53 PM   #1346
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I got one! I got one!
It's been a while since I got a good asshat PM.

22-M here. A woman in her 40s who works with my gf asked me to housesit for her while she was on vacation over the summer. I did, but she came back early and caught me jerking off beside the pool, where I had been sunbathing nude. Care to chat?
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:26 PM   #1347
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I got one! I got one!
It's been a while since I got a good asshat PM.

22-M here. A woman in her 40s who works with my gf asked me to housesit for her while she was on vacation over the summer. I did, but she came back early and caught me jerking off beside the pool, where I had been sunbathing nude. Care to chat?
Get a life ass nut
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:35 PM   #1348
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This wasn't a PM, but an asshat post. I hope that is okay in this thread.

This post was made by the most creepy, deviant, annoying person I've ever come across. (Not come across like that, arseholes ) Here it is:

Quote:
Originally Posted by 123Josh View Post
Get a life ass nut
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:04 PM   #1349
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This wasn't a PM, but an asshat post. I hope that is okay in this thread.

This post was made by the most creepy, deviant, annoying person I've ever come across. (Not come across like that, arseholes ) Here it is:
pmann!
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:07 PM   #1350
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This wasn't a PM, but an asshat post. I hope that is okay in this thread.

This post was made by the most creepy, deviant, annoying person I've ever come across. (Not come across like that, arseholes ) Here it is:
*barks laughter*
Ok, maybe Josh was referring to the asshatt poster, and not Joy? I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt..if he'll change the AV...


Pretty please?

With whipped cream and cherries?
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