Old 06-28-2012, 03:27 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by culloden View Post
I wonder if anyone ever gets positive reinforcement for asshat pms? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I always thought one should be polite when approaching a strange woman.
I wouldn't think so. I think it's more of a cast a wide net and hope you catch something MO. BTW - if being polite when approaching a stranger is old fashioned, then let's bring back the old ways. 'Cause honestly, the "new" approach sucks.

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Originally Posted by Goey View Post
It's hard not to pull a face of sheer amazed "what the fuck" while reading them but I simply don't have the heart to repost them here...
Spoilsport!

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Originally Posted by jen_litgirl View Post
Ah, the rookie mistakes I've made since joining!
Live and learn. Now you know what to do with future asshat messages!
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Old 06-28-2012, 05:02 PM   #102
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I haven't bothered to read through the thread yet, mainly because I'm feeling incredibly lazy. However, I was just thinking the other day that I was going to start saving the best ones to post around here sometime. I think I chat as well, just because I get the best whispers.

Anyways, I really just came because the word asshattery cracked me up. A+, and kudos to the OP.
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Old 06-28-2012, 10:23 PM   #103
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Originally Posted by jen_litgirl View Post
I just got one of these but since I'm on the VE program I assumed it was a legitimate story idea. I didn't read it through but sent my immediate response about how I'll edit this story and get back to you soon. I felt like an idiot and slightly irritated when I realized that it was a lame attempt for some PM action.

Ah, the rookie mistakes I've made since joining!
That's perfect, everyone should do that, edit the hell out of them, pick them to pieces, let them know just how shitty a story it is and then laugh about how funny it would be if someone was dumb enough to try and use pathetic crap like that in real life.
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:47 PM   #104
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Awesome Idea

Now I have to stop deleting them, drat!

What about troll comments on stories? They're funny too!
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:13 PM   #105
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What about troll comments on stories? They're funny too!
That may be worthy of it's own thread.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:28 AM   #106
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First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in the corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:32 AM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goey View Post
First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in he corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.
^^^^

I love this.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:33 AM   #108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goey View Post
First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in he corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.
Don't you just hate it when that happens? Most excellent reply and thank you for the much needed Monday morning giggle.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:57 AM   #109
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I didn't want to post any at first but the sheer stupidity and volume has led me to do otherwise.
Replying to them in fun ways and posting them here seem to be the only logical choice.
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Old 07-02-2012, 12:21 PM   #110
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This has what to do with "How To..." ?
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Old 07-02-2012, 01:47 PM   #111
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Originally Posted by Primalex View Post
This has what to do with "How To..." ?
Perhaps "How to give people a laugh by using this thread to try to deter said asshats from jacking off into your pm box"?

It doesn't seem to deter them at all, but at least we all get some amusement out of it.
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Last edited by Saucyminx : 07-02-2012 at 01:47 PM. Reason: extraneous since, too much coffee
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Old 07-03-2012, 02:36 AM   #112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goey View Post
First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in the corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.
I chortled!
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Old 07-03-2012, 10:04 PM   #113
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Great Response

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goey View Post
First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in the corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.
LOL - that is a great response.
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Old 07-04-2012, 09:57 AM   #114
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Quote:
I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!
*placing my hand beneath your chin, I raise your eyes to meet mine*
I, Woman, am a patient, understanding, creative, intelligent,
self-assured, Masterful Male. 37 yrs. of age, I have had 15+ yrs.
experience dealing with ladies like yourself.

My interests vary, ranging from reading to music, fine dining, to
sports, from dancing to theatre, but, *placing the tip of my right
index finger upon the tip of your nose* you will learn, Woman, that I
am always well prepared to discipline you according to your behavior,
or shall we say misbehavior?
*raising eyebrows, and chuckling* While You, Woman are an attractive
fully grown woman who is too used to getting what you want, though you
are fully aware that what you want and what you really need are two
entirely different things.

You may be the type of lady who likes to be very flirtatious,
impertinent, sassy, rude, and generally looking for attention.
Believe me! I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU GET THE ATTENTION THAT YOU MOST
FULLY DESERVE, WOMAN!!

Then again, You may be the fully grown very attractive woman who is
quite Haughty, Arrogant, and generally behaving like a High and Mighty
Lady who thinks of herself as being above others in her life.

*Chuckling * You will learn by my touch, my tone and my gaze, Little
Miss High and Mighty, that your bottom will be your "seat of learning"
as I teach you the lesson that no man has dared to teach you up until now.

Your attitude, attractiveness, coy behavior, argumentative nature, and
other mannerisms have put off the discipline that is needed by you for
far too long a time. nodding in your direction*

I WILL DEFINITELY SEE TO IT THAT YOUR ATTITUDE CHANGES, WOMAN!! Your
attractiveness has put off the discipline up till now, but I will see
to it that your bottom suffers the punishment that you secretly have
longed for, all these years
"Feedback" for a story... I don't even know to respond to this at all...
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Old 07-04-2012, 10:32 AM   #115
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Originally Posted by Goey View Post
"Feedback" for a story... I don't even know to respond to this at all...
Shut the fuck up, boy. Go stand in that street corner 59 miles away from here. And face the wall. Boys like you should speak only when spoken to. Now get the fuck outta here...

Guess this would suffice as a response...
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Old 07-04-2012, 12:27 PM   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goey View Post
First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in the corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.
Ahahahaha! Love it!
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Old 07-04-2012, 02:30 PM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by serpentwrap View Post
Shut the fuck up, boy. Go stand in that street corner 59 miles away from here. And face the wall. Boys like you should speak only when spoken to. Now get the fuck outta here...

Guess this would suffice as a response...
I LOVE IT!!! Dang it, I wish I had asked here for help before deleting that PM I got.
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Old 07-04-2012, 07:24 PM   #118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by serpentwrap View Post
Shut the fuck up, boy. Go stand in that street corner 59 miles away from here. And face the wall. Boys like you should speak only when spoken to. Now get the fuck outta here...

Guess this would suffice as a response...


Love it!
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Old 07-04-2012, 08:19 PM   #119
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Quote:
Originally Posted by serpentwrap View Post
Shut the fuck up, boy. Go stand in that street corner 59 miles away from here. And face the wall. Boys like you should speak only when spoken to. Now get the fuck outta here...

Guess this would suffice as a response...
Works for me
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Old 07-05-2012, 03:31 PM   #120
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I'd been reading this thread wondering where all these asshats on Lit were as I hadn't heard from them.... Alas, I can no longer say that! I received a PM inviting me to go jump off a cliff.
As roleplay goes, it's not my most favourite idea!
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Old 08-14-2012, 11:36 PM   #121
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And suddenly....ASSHAT

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asshat extraordinaire
u got nice tits in yr pic, is yr daddy sucking on them now as u wank his prick off
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Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

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Old 08-15-2012, 10:04 AM   #122
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Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
And suddenly....ASSHAT
Hez knot rong abowt thoz nice titz in ur pic.

I seriously cannot imagine what a guy hopes to gain by a pm like that.
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Old 08-15-2012, 10:18 AM   #123
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Originally Posted by pmann View Post
Hez knot rong abowt thoz nice titz in ur pic.

I seriously cannot imagine what a guy hopes to gain by a pm like that.
Thanks! I wouldn't display them quite so prominently if I didn't want them to be admired, and yay, even commented on.

But Mr. Eloquent Titzengrab McCreepypants should just crawl back under his bridge and re-commence scaring billy goats.
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Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

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Old 08-15-2012, 11:36 AM   #124
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Mr. Eloquent Titzengrab McCreepypants
*spew*
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Old 08-15-2012, 11:46 AM   #125
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Titzengrab sounds like a town in Austria or Germany that would be delightful to visit.
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