Old 02-01-2013, 12:30 PM   #1101
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Originally Posted by BeachMomma View Post
I got a very cute, unsolicited PM this morning that actually brightened my day. To the writer, please don't think I'm outing you as an asshat, because I'm not. It was a very sweet PM.

He made a joke about the pearl necklace in my av, then asked me not to consider him an asshat. He just couldn't resist the opportunity to tease me a little.

This was one of the few unsolicited PMs that made me smile. Mr. Not-an-Asshat, thank you.
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
At risk of getting shot down by a host of people who think I'm the aforementioned asshat - I've been guilty of sending the "odd" PM.

I do try to be polite, judge the intentions of the recipient by looking at their posts, similarities, or sometimes their frank and honest arousal.

/snip

But I'm that curious at to HOW many messages you poor fuckers get, that I've been tempted, transparently through this thread and being honest on the boards, to set up a fake female account - JUST to see how quickly the inbox goes mental and the crazy lunatic messages you all get.

/snip

i think this would give me much better understanding of WHY so many never respond with a courteous "no thanks, I'm not interested in you".

/snip

NOT AN ASSHAT/PERVERT/ETC
For the record, Persius is the non-asshat I referred to in that post. We had several interesting conversations because I took a chance and replied to his (unsolicited but still very sweet) PM.

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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
But some are. And if you dont want any - turn them off.
It's not that I don't want ANY PMs - unsolicited or otherwise. As in our conversation the other day, I've made quite a few friends by answering (and sending) unsolicited PMS.

We get offended when the PMs are intrusive, insulting, or just plain stupid. I don't think we're even offended at the sheer number of PMs - just the ones that are.....well, obvious asshattery.

Turn off PMs? No, thank you. As we discussed in our PM, I've made my friends via PM. Yeah, I get to know people on the main boards, but we become friends via PM. If that means I have to tolerate asshat PMs, that's the price I have to pay. This thread is my way of laughing at the asshats. Trust me when I tell you that I've taken the not-so-high-road quite a few times and got snarky with the asshat du jour. Just this morning, as a matter of fact.

The day we talked, I told you I'd gotten at least 50 PMs; *most* of them were from friends. By the time the day was over, that number was more like 100. Several were from you. Most of the 100 were from friends that we've been carrying on conversations for some time. Maybe half a dozen were unsolicited, unappreciated PMs that I simply deleted. I'm pretty quick on the delete button; I don't have a problem deleting the unwanted PMs if it means that I can enjoy the dozens of conversations with friends that I DO want and appreciate.


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Originally Posted by JoyDyan View Post
It's not that we don't want ANY. I think it's perfectly fine when someone sees my profile and sends me a pm to say hello, or wants to share a common interest after they see me post on a thread. I've made a few friends that way.

The objection is to the massive volumes of Pm's from strangers who think that the women on Lit must be pornbots who can't wait to jump into a dirty chat with them based on a generic or offensive PM. Of course, that kind of woman is here....but it's pretty obvious, with a bit of research, which ones are here for random cybersex and which ones aren't.

To me, turning off the PM feature is akin to wearing a sign on my forehead that says "don't talk to me" because a guy in line at Starbucks propositioned me right after handing me a coffee.
This. Exactly. I don't mind an unsolicited PM from someone who wanted to comment on a post I made. If it's polite, respectful, and at least somewhat intelligent, I can and will respond - as I did to Persius' PM. If they send a dick pic, an obviously copied and pasted message, or a request for wank fodder - well, let's just say I'm perfectly capable of cutting a man off at the knees (or balls ) in 3 sentences or less. Then there's always my trusty delete button if I choose to use it - which is the case with most unsolicited, unappreciated PMs. I very rarely respond to those.

If someone can remember that I'm a real woman - a mother, wife, and daughter. I'm not just a vagina or a pair of breasts with a keyboard. If they can remember that and treat me as such - with respect - they're far more likely to receive a nice, well-thought out response. There's a good chance that we'll even develop a friendship. Will it develop into a cyber-sex relationship? No.


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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
You missed the point. I didnt say it wasnt wrong. I said I wanted to appreciate the volume of the issue. the SCALE of pestering. Because, quite honestly, this boils down to the mars and venus thing. Most men are flattered for the attention from unsolicited advances - we spend most of our lives trying to peacock to the opposite sex - irrespective of how slutty/romantic it is.

/snip
Therein lies the problem. You're right - Mars/Venus. Men are visual creatures; erotic pictures or words do it for men. Women, on the internet as in real life, aren't that easy. We rarely have sex, real or cyber, for the sake of sex alone. We typically require a relationship, romance, or some sort of foreplay - be it verbal, physical, real life interaction, or simply by actions.

The best advice I can give the men on Lit is to remember that women aren't like men. Men can go from zero to sixty, sexually speaking, in no time flat. Women require warm up. What turns men on does literally nothing to turn a woman on.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:59 PM   #1102
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Perhaps if everyone online could treat people just like they would face to face, it would be a lot better place.

Maybe not 100%, though. I suppose there are some people that are such assholes in real life, face to face communication. Not too many, though.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:59 PM   #1103
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See. It's that kind of response I can appreciate.

And our chat momma was the motive for understanding you girls grief a bit better with my proposal. Didn't mean to kick off!!

Anyway. Pmann made me laugh. Then I saw his pic thread. Then I cried with laughter. So yeah, no regrets posting!
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Old 02-01-2013, 07:08 PM   #1104
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See. It's that kind of response I can appreciate.

And our chat momma was the motive for understanding you girls grief a bit better with my proposal. Didn't mean to kick off!!

Anyway. Pmann made me laugh. Then I saw his pic thread. Then I cried with laughter. So yeah, no regrets posting!
Glad you understand.

I also understand that men more so than women can get physically responsive with some of the chatter that goes on the boards here. Some women do, too, but the percentage is inversely proportional.

My suggestion is to play it safe and approach women ... respectfully ... with whom you have established some kind of conversation/rapport on the boards. That's been pretty much in any kind of chat room from as far back as I can remember (1996 on IRC).
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Old 02-01-2013, 09:31 PM   #1105
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Originally Posted by XpersiusX View Post
See. It's that kind of response I can appreciate.

And our chat momma was the motive for understanding you girls grief a bit better with my proposal. Didn't mean to kick off!!

Anyway. Pmann made me laugh. Then I saw his pic thread. Then I cried with laughter. So yeah, no regrets posting!
StickMann, I mean PMann, is hilarious! He makes my panties wet; it's from peeing myself laughing, but who cares? I'm glad you have no regrets, and I'm glad you aren't upset that I outed you.

I'm pretty quick to relay asshat PMs here; I thought it only fair to show that some unsolicited PMs are everything we women would want them to be - funny, respectful, polite, and engaging.

SBroad is right; the anonymity of the internet often seems to bring out the worst in people. If we'd all remember that there is a person behind that screen name, we'd have better communication all around. It's impossible to know from just their screen name and their profile, but a lot of people are here because they're hurting, lonely, stressed, or dealing with some sort of hell. Your hell may be worse than my hell, but my hell is still hell. A kind word goes much farther to impress women than dick pics or pornbot requests. (I'm not saying that to you in particular; that's meant for a general you - men in general.) As I said before, I'm more than a vagina or breasts with a keyboard. If we're treated like that's all we are, we aren't afraid to give a little lesson in Life 101. If we're treated like a whole person, we may give you a friend. Hell, some of the women may give you more than that.
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Old 02-01-2013, 10:07 PM   #1106
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StickMann, I mean PMann, is hilarious! He makes my panties wet; it's from peeing myself laughing, but who cares? I'm glad you have no regrets, and I'm glad you aren't upset that I outed you.

I'm pretty quick to relay asshat PMs here; I thought it only fair to show that some unsolicited PMs are everything we women would want them to be - funny, respectful, polite, and engaging.

SBroad is right; the anonymity of the internet often seems to bring out the worst in people. If we'd all remember that there is a person behind that screen name, we'd have better communication all around. It's impossible to know from just their screen name and their profile, but a lot of people are here because they're hurting, lonely, stressed, or dealing with some sort of hell. Your hell may be worse than my hell, but my hell is still hell. A kind word goes much farther to impress women than dick pics or pornbot requests. (I'm not saying that to you in particular; that's meant for a general you - men in general.) As I said before, I'm more than a vagina or breasts with a keyboard. If we're treated like that's all we are, we aren't afraid to give a little lesson in Life 101. If we're treated like a whole person, we may give you a friend. Hell, some of the women may give you more than that.
Exactly. What she said.
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Old 02-02-2013, 07:32 AM   #1107
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:28 PM   #1108
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So I think what we are all saying is that Pmann is the shit?
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:29 PM   #1109
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Exactly. What she said.
Especially the part about pmann.
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:31 PM   #1110
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So I think what we are all saying is that Pmann is the shit?
idk if you are or not - but you're Avatar is definitely the shit.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:11 AM   #1111
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Hey Joy! Check out ******.com it is a cool site. I will be on cam in 2 hours. My screen name is *offensive SN here*. It is a great place to perv on cam


Seriously?!? Read the profile, Asshat!

{jeez, JD, stop sending me this garbage! }
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Old 02-03-2013, 12:10 PM   #1112
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Hey Joy! Check out ******.com it is a cool site. I will be on cam in 2 hours. My screen name is *offensive SN here*. It is a great place to perv on cam


Seriously?!? Read the profile, Asshat!

{jeez, JD, stop sending me this garbage! }
Oh the allure, the romance, the seduction. How could any woman refuse such an offer!
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Old 02-03-2013, 12:13 PM   #1113
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Oh the allure, the romance, the seduction. How could any woman refuse such an offer!
Oh, yes, it was tough to delete that one....took allllll of my willpower not to respond....

For Pete's sake.
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Old 02-03-2013, 01:46 PM   #1114
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Hey Joy! Check out ******.com it is a cool site. I will be on cam in 2 hours. My screen name is *offensive SN here*. It is a great place to perv on cam


Seriously?!? Read the profile, Asshat!

{jeez, JD, stop sending me this garbage! }
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae View Post
Oh the allure, the romance, the seduction. How could any woman refuse such an offer!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan View Post
Oh, yes, it was tough to delete that one....took allllll of my willpower not to respond....

For Pete's sake.
I see how you all are...I'll just tell other women when i'm camming i guess
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Old 02-03-2013, 02:08 PM   #1115
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Hey Joy! Check out ******.com it is a cool site. I will be on cam in 2 hours. My screen name is *offensive SN here*. It is a great place to perv on cam


Seriously?!? Read the profile, Asshat!

{jeez, JD, stop sending me this garbage! }
I got a variation of that one this morning as well....
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Old 02-03-2013, 02:10 PM   #1116
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I got a variation of that one this morning as well....
Ah, yes, I figured it was cut-and-paste.

Afternoon, Photo! *waves*
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Old 02-03-2013, 02:18 PM   #1117
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Ah, yes, I figured it was cut-and-paste.

Afternoon, Photo! *waves*
Yeah, something about amateurs afternoon or something. I forget. I think whoever it was, was spamming the Illinois thread. Profile said Midwest.

*waves back* Afternoon, Joy!
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Old 02-04-2013, 03:52 AM   #1118
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Well this is a new one... an asshat who requests a read receipt!!
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:05 AM   #1119
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Well this is a new one... an asshat who requests a read receipt!!
*gigglesnort* Seriously???

Sorry, not sure why I find that so funny. He wants proof that you read the asshattery that is his pm?
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:14 AM   #1120
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*gigglesnort* Seriously???

Sorry, not sure why I find that so funny. He wants proof that you read the asshattery that is his pm?
I know! I honestly didn't even know you could do that. I scoffed when the notification thing popped up.
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:41 AM   #1121
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I know! I honestly didn't even know you could do that. I scoffed when the notification thing popped up.
I'd send 15 right back, read receipt on each one!
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:42 AM   #1122
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I'd send 15 right back, read receipt on each one!
hahahaha oh god, if only I was motivated enough to bother finding out how to do it
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:42 AM   #1123
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hahahaha oh god, if only I was motivated enough to bother finding out how to do it
There's a check box below the submit button.
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:11 AM   #1124
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There's a check box below the submit button.
Oh right.. that hard. I have never once noticed that there.
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:24 AM   #1125
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Oh right.. that hard. I have never once noticed that there.
LOL, this forum is set up identical to a vbulletin forum I use to admin.

I also uncheck the Save to Sent folder.
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